Year of the Monsoon

by Caren J. Werlinger

  Leisa looked down at Mariela’s hands in hers. “I may have to go see someone who is sick,” Leisa said. “And I might be gone for a while. But I’ll be back.”

  “You promise?”

  Leisa pulled Mariela to her and held her tightly. “I promise.”

  A short while later, Leisa sat at her desk, her hands covering her face.

  I won’t leave you.

  When she was little, maybe six or seven, she’d gone through a period where she had nightmares almost every night which would wake her, sobbing and terrified. She could never remember any details, only the sensation of something ominous waiting for her in her sleep. Rose and Daniel would hurry in, holding her and murmuring reassuringly that nothing could hurt her while they were there. Usually, Rose would send Daniel back to bed and she would lie down next to Leisa. “It’s all right,” she would croon. “Go to sleep. I won’t leave you.”

  “But you did,” Leisa cried into her hands. “You both left me.”

  Chapter 17

  NAN PULLED UP AT the house and was surprised to see Maddie’s Explorer parked on the curb. Maddie got up from where she was sitting on the porch steps as Nan got out of her car.

  “What’s wrong?” Nan asked.

  “We need to talk,” Maddie said, following Nan inside.

  Nan dropped her briefcase on the couch.

  “Not your bed any longer, I see,” Maddie commented as she took one of the chairs.

  “No. I’m sleeping upstairs again,” Nan said cautiously. “But I’m beginning to think these chairs are cursed. This is where Leisa was waiting for me after Williamsburg,” she added at Maddie’s questioning look.

  “Well, I hate to add to that tradition, but…”

  Nan’s mouth tightened as she waited for what could only be bad news.

  Maddie hesitated. “My mother would slap me silly for carrying tales, but I really feel like you ought to know. I saw a job posting on Leisa’s computer. For Ithaca, New York.”

  Nan sat impassively at this news.

  “What?” Maddie prodded.

  “We talked when she got back from New York. I confronted her about Sarah,” Nan said in a strangled voice. “I told her she had some decisions to make.”

  Maddie sat there, miserable in her inability to shield Nan from this. “I’m sorry.”

  Nan gave a small nod. “Me, too.”

  Leisa was sitting at the kitchen table, filling out the job application.

  “Why are you doing this?” asked an annoying voice inside her head.

  She gave her head a tiny shake. She couldn’t answer that question. She felt almost as if she was moving through some kind of weird dream – one where her actions didn’t really make sense, but she couldn’t seem to stop what was happening. She couldn’t honestly say that she wanted to move to New York. It was more like a path had opened before her that she couldn’t make herself turn away from.

  “When are you going to tell Nan and Jo and Bruce about this?” asked that voice.

  “There’s nothing to tell yet,” she whispered irritably. “I’m only filling out the application.”

  She paused. That was how this whole thing had started. “I’m only registering” and then, “I’m only replying to their request for release of information” and then, “I’m only going to meet her.”

  She stared at the forms before her. Where was it going to stop? She couldn’t see that far.

  The unexpected opening of the front door startled her. Jo Ann stormed into the kitchen as Leisa jumped up from the table. She quickly flipped the application upside down.

  “A knock might have been nice,” Leisa said coolly.

  “Why? Something to hide?” Jo asked.

  “What are you talking about?” Leisa asked, cursing as she felt her cheeks redden.

  Jo Ann stood with her hands on her hips, looking so much like Rose that it took Leisa aback for a moment.

  “Sit down,” Jo said, and it wasn’t a request.

  Leisa sat back down, neatening the table by pulling the newspaper over top of the application and stacking everything in a pile.

  Jo folded her hands and looked at Leisa. “Do you have something to tell me?”

  “I don’t know –”

  “Let me simplify this. I understand you’re applying for a job in Ithaca,” Jo Ann said bluntly.

  Leisa’s mouth fell open. “How –”

  “How did I find out?” Jo finished for her. “Obviously not from my niece. Nan told me.”

  “Nan?” Leisa repeated, feeling as if she was missing some vital pieces of this conversation. “How did she find out?”

  Jo Ann sat back, staring hard at Leisa. “So it’s true,” she said.

  At realizing she’d fallen into her aunt’s trap, Leisa’s expression took on a mulish expression, the same one she had so often had as a child – “she knows she’s wrong, and she knows she’s been caught, but she is too stubborn to admit it!” Rose used to complain to Jo in frustration.

  Jo took a deep breath and leaned forward, folding her hands in an attitude of calm. “How she found out, we can discuss later,” she said. “I stopped by to bring her some cookies and –” She held up her hand to silence Leisa who had opened her mouth again. “I’ve been bringing her food ever since you moved out. I knew she wouldn’t cook for herself and I’ve wanted to see how she was doing.”

  “You’re my aunt! Why are you checking on her?” Leisa knew how childish it sounded as she said it, and judging by the bemused expression on Jo’s face, she felt like she had just gone back in time to about age ten. “What else did she tell you?”

  “What else should she have told me?” Jo asked, her eyes narrowed.

  “Nothing.”

  “You are the one who brought Nan into this family,” Jo pointed out. “We love her almost as much as we love you.”

  “Probably more lately,” Leisa almost blurted.

  “Just because you split up with her, doesn’t mean she’s going to disappear from our lives,” Jo was saying.

  It took a moment for her words to register with Leisa. “Wait, what? Who said anything about splitting up?”

  Jo’s eyes flashed angrily. “What do you think is going to happen if you continue with this?” She reached for the pile of paper on the table, and pulled out the application forms from the bottom. “You can’t stay married to someone while you move off to a different state with a different family.” Jo was breathing heavily, but there was a wounded look on her face. “You’ll never lose Bruce and me, honey, but you’re going to lose Nan if you don’t wake up.”

  The telephone rang. With an exasperated sigh, Leisa got up to answer it.

  “Donny’s in the hospital,” came Eleanor’s voice. “He’s in kidney failure.”

  “Oh.” Leisa glanced back at Jo who was still sitting at the table.

  “The doctors said they got the results and you’re a match,” Eleanor was saying.

  Leisa turned to look out the kitchen window. “Yes.”

  There was a tense silence.

  “Will you do it?” Eleanor asked. “Will you come?”

  Leisa squeezed her eyes shut. She’d known this moment was coming. “Yes. I’ll donate,” she heard herself say.

  She could hear Eleanor laughing and crying at the same time.

  “Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.” Eleanor said. “When can you get here?”

  “I’ll need to make arrangements for time off at my job, but I’ll try to get there later this week,” Leisa said.

  “Okay. I’ll let them know at the hospital,” Eleanor said. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

  “I’ll see you in a few days.”

  When Leisa turned around to hang up the phone, Jo Ann was gone.

  “Hold still now.”

  Leisa lay in the CT tube, trying not to move as tears leaked from her eyes. The staff at the transplant center in Syracuse had been guiding her from one test to another in preparation for the surgery, which was schedul
ed for the next day.

  As she lay there, she tried not to think about the fact that she had left Baltimore without saying anything to Nan or Jo or Bruce. Only Maddie. “I’ll be back at work in a week,” she’d said.

  “That sounds kind of soon,” Maddie said. “Don’t push it.”

  “My incision will be small, they said. I should be able to at least do deskwork in a week,” Leisa insisted.

  When the CT was done and the plinth slid out of the tube, the tech noticed her red eyes. “It’s okay,” he said kindly, mistaking the reason for the tears. “It’s not a bad surgery.” Leisa nodded, too embarrassed to correct him. After the last of the tests was done, she was escorted to her hospital room where she was stunned to find Nan and Jo Ann sitting there, waiting for her.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “You didn’t think we’d let you do this alone, did you?” Jo chided her.

  “Considering what an asshole I’ve been, yeah, I did.” But Leisa couldn’t bring herself to say it. She glanced at Nan and saw that her eyes looked puffy and bruised. “Thanks,” she said instead. It was all she could manage.

  Jo, seeming to sense what Leisa couldn’t say, came to her and folded her in a hug. “Of course we were going to be here with you. Bruce wanted to come, too, but he decided to stay home with Bronwyn.”

  Leisa nodded, choking back the new tears that sprang to her eyes. “Come on,” she said, turning away to wipe her eyes. “I want to introduce you.”

  “To them?” Jo asked dubiously.

  “Yes,” Leisa laughed, taking her by the hand. “To them.”

  They walked down the hall and passed a bulletin board where there were pinned dozens of photos of successful transplant recipients with their families, many posing with their donors as well.

  “You’ll be up here in a few days?” Jo asked.

  “I guess,” Leisa said.

  Eleanor, as expected, was in Donald’s room, waiting on him. “Oh, thank you so much for doing this,” she gushed when Leisa knocked and entered. She came over to wring Leisa’s hand gratefully.

  Despite her continued dislike of Donald, Leisa couldn’t help but feel a small burst of warmth inside for Eleanor.

  “I want to introduce you to my Aunt Jo Ann and my partner, Nan,” she said, pulling them in.

  Eleanor and Donald looked at each other. “You mean, like a business partner?” Eleanor asked innocently.

  Holding back a laugh, Leisa said, “No. I mean my life partner. Nan is my spouse.” She met Nan’s eyes for the briefest moment, afraid of what she might see in them, but there was only love. “And doubt,” she realized.

  A shadow settled over Donald’s pasty features. “You’re a… a…” He couldn’t quite bring himself to say the word.

  “Yes,” said Leisa with a sweet smile. “You’re going to have a lesbian kidney inside you. See you tomorrow. Sleep tight.”

  “Your kidney might be the most manly thing about him,” Jo muttered under her breath as they left the room.

  Nan paced the waiting room while Eleanor and Jo sat restlessly flipping the pages of magazines. After several hours, the surgeon’s assistant came to tell them that everything had gone perfectly. Leisa’s kidney had been removed through a small laparoscopic incision, and Donald’s body seemed to be accepting it without any early signs of rejection. Jo and Nan couldn’t help but sympathize with Eleanor’s tears of relief. She really had no one but Donald as she had told them repeatedly during the long hours together in the waiting room. Anxiously, they waited until Leisa and Donald were transferred to their rooms. Donald’s was an isolation room, not because he was contagious, but to prevent anyone bringing in any germs that might compromise his immune system. For at least a few days, Eleanor would be wearing a gown and mask while she sat with him.

  When Leisa woke, Jo and Nan were sitting on either side of her bed. “We’re here,” Nan murmured. Leisa smiled and went back to sleep. When she woke again, she was more alert.

  “Everything went fine, they said,” Jo told her as she raised the head of Leisa’s bed, plumping the pillows behind her.

  “How do you feel?” Nan asked.

  Leisa winced a little as she shifted in bed. She placed a hand on her right side. “A little sore,” she admitted. “Should be a pound or two lighter.”

  “Up already?” asked her nurse in surprise when she came in with a dinner tray. “Think you could eat something?”

  “Maybe a little,” Leisa replied. After a few bites, she pushed her tray away. “Could you help me into the bathroom?” she asked Nan. “They’re pumping me with enough fluid to float a boat.”

  Nan wheeled the IV pole and held Leisa’s elbow as she guided her toward the bathroom.

  “Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Leisa grumbled when she saw the toilet was outfitted with a plastic container for measuring her urine.

  “Well,” Nan chuckled as she stood by. “How else are they supposed to know if your remaining kidney is doing its job?”

  Leisa’s voice echoed inside the tiled confines of the bathroom. “I just never thought pee could be such a big deal.”

  Donald was doing so well that they removed him from isolation precautions after two days. Leisa was off her own IV, and would probably be discharged the next day. Eleanor had been in to see her only one time, the day after the surgery.

  “Leisa’s doing just fine, thank you for asking,” Jo Ann said quite pointedly after listening to Eleanor talk for several minutes about Donald without asking once about how Leisa was doing.

  Eleanor had the grace to blush. “Oh, of course. I just can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done.”

  “No, you can’t,” Nan said coolly. “I think you should remember that.”

  “I just can’t believe them,” Jo huffed indignantly after Eleanor had left.

  Leisa tried to shrug it off, saying nonchalantly, “It doesn’t matter,” but she couldn’t look them in the eye as she said it.

  The morning Leisa was to be discharged, she dressed in her own clothes and went to say good-bye to the Millers while Nan and Jo were checking out of their hotel. As she passed the bulletin board, she paused and looked, remembering that no one had taken their photo. But there, pinned in the middle of the board was a photo of Donald with Eleanor hugging him happily. Leisa stood there looking at Eleanor beaming at her from the photo. She had to reach out and brace herself against the wall as the floor shifted under her.

  “Are you all right?” A nurse came rushing over to check on her.

  “I’m fine,” Leisa said. “Just a little dizzy.” She glanced again at the photo. “I’m back to normal now.”

  As she approached Donald’s room, she smelled a peculiar aroma. She knocked and entered the room to see Eleanor hurriedly crushing a paper bag and pushing it into the trash can by the bed while Donald very obviously finished chewing something and swallowed.

  Leisa’s eyes became icy. “You missed some ketchup,” she said, tossing a napkin to him. “I hope the hamburger and fries were good.”

  His face transformed into something ugly as he stared at her defiantly. “It was.”

  “He was just so hungry, you know,” Eleanor said quickly. “The diet they have him on is so awful.” When Leisa continued to stare at Donald, Eleanor continued in a slightly panicky voice, “It’s just a little hamburger. You won’t say anything, will you?”

  Leisa turned her cold stare to Eleanor. “No,” she said quietly. “I won’t say anything. I won’t say anything to them. I won’t say anything more to you, either.”

  “What are you going to do, take back your kidney?” Donald sneered.

  Turning her gaze back to him, Leisa said disdainfully, “I didn’t give it for you. Or for you,” she added, looking again at Eleanor. When they exchanged puzzled glances, she laughed derisively. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

  She turned toward the door. “But when you ruin this kidney, you’re on your own. Don’t call me.”

  Fuming, she w
ent back to her room. When Nan and Jo arrived a few minutes later, Nan took one look at her face and asked, “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” Leisa said flatly. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Chapter 18

  “WE’VE BEEN DYING TO hear all about it,” Lyn said as Maddie led Nan into the kitchen. She went to the stove and stirred a boiling pot of fettuccini. “What were they like?”

  “When did you get back?” Maddie asked.

  Nan looked from one to the other. “Day before yesterday and I need a glass of wine before we jump into this.”

  Maddie obliged with a big glass of cabernet. “Here. Talk.”

  Nan slid onto a stool at the island and took a big sip of her wine. Closing her eyes, she let the wine warm her as it went down. “Could have used some of this in the hospital.”

  “That bad?” Maddie said.

  Nan rolled her eyes. “They’re awful. Well… he’s awful, the half-brother, and the mother lets him get away with it. I’m honestly not sure how Leisa stands them.” She paused, swirling her wine around and around. “She wouldn’t have before.”

  Maddie was watching Nan closely. “How is she?”

  Nan’s lips compressed. “I’m not sure. I’m glad Jo and I were there for her because they sure weren’t. I’m not sure how to describe it. It’s almost like she’s begging or hoping for their approval. It’s kind of hard to watch.”

  “Did you talk?” Lyn asked, pouring the fettuccini into a colander.

  Nan shook her head. “It wasn’t the right time. Jo tried to talk me into driving back with her, but that much time alone in a car together… I don’t know where she’s at with everything and I just didn’t want to get into it when she’s still recovering. I haven’t seen her since we got back.”

  “The operation went well, though, right?” Maddie asked.

  “Yeah. As far as that part, it went very well.”

  Lyn dished pasta out into three plates and poured Alfredo sauce over top. They carried their plates to the table.

  “She hasn’t said anything about the job up there?” Maddie asked.

  “Nope. Jo said she just clammed up when she confronted her about it. I’m not sure if she’s figured out that it was you who told me,” Nan said.