Connections (Mists of the Fae Book 5)

by Jaime Marks

  “Perhaps you should give her to one of us, Devyn. Her essence is burning you,” Cymeryn offered. “You also risk harming her with your essence.”

  “I am fine, Cymeryn. It is barely anything compared to what I dealt with daily at the fronts facing you and I am restraining my essence, it will not harm her. I am not a fool,” he snapped but quickly reined in his temper. He spoke to her softly, “I will see you to where you need. You should get settled before this worsens, dear girl.”

  She nodded hesitantly. “Thank you for…catching me.”

  “Do not give it another thought.” He looked up to Trina ignoring the shocked looks in the room. “Where will you be attending to her?”

  She cleared her throat glancing to Grifyn and Byryn before answering. “There are quarters in the hall adjacent to our suite. Follow me.”

  He knew he should release her and leave her be but he was unwilling to leave her side. The draw to be close to her was so strong that it made him question his own doubts. He needed to understand more of this female so he could reason it out but for this moment his only concern was caring for her.

  Chapter 25

  Byryn watched in disbelief as Devyn carried her from the room and his sister allowed it. What the hell just happened? He couldn’t decide what bothered him more; that he had dared to put his hands on his sister…or that she so easily let him. Staryana came over to him and he pulled her to him immediately needing her comfort. He could feel her essence flowing through him, calming him.

  “Well that was an interesting turn of events,” Cymeryn mused.

  Byryn glared at him. “Is that what you would call it?”

  “Despite his…current disposition, Byryn, Devyn is a Fae of honor. You cannot fault him for his concerns. We have clashed at the fronts for over ninety-three years and I have put that male through hell,” Cymeryn offered. “He has not been here to witness how everything has developed and he is indeed one of the eldest Fae in existence. He has seen many attempts to deceive and manipulate the Fae at the hands of the Shade. What you witnessed this morn was a manifestation of fear, confusion, and a fierce need to protect this race from annihilation.”

  “That may be, Cymeryn, but he needs to stay away from my sister. She’s dealt with enough,” he grimaced.

  Staryana pulled him down for a kiss. “You can’t make her decisions for her, Byryn. She seemed to be more than comfortable with him…maybe even drawn to him. Let’s just see what happens once she’s awakened and support her.”

  He sighed running a hand roughly through his hair. Devyn was a hardened soldier. More than that he had attacked almost every member in this family with accusations of either negligence, stupidity, or flat out manipulation. He was hoping that her awakening would bring his sister closer not push her further away. “I’ll try, brightness, but if that Fae ever attacks you the way he did your Mother I swear…” He trailed off not wanting to agitate the situation.

  “Byryn’s right. Despite his reasoning, Devyn was severely out of line and he needs to know that it won’t be tolerated,” Marcus replied roughly. “I am sorry, Reyana, we should not have allowed him such free reign.”

  She kissed him chastely. “It’s not your fault. None of us had any idea he would be so…difficult.”

  Steph’s eyes glowed brightly a moment catching their attention. She shrugged nonchalantly. “It is because he feels he is responsible for all of you. He thinks he has failed you all in some way. He is not a nurturing male; he is a general. He will not handhold and coddle when he thinks things are off course. He was lashing out because he feels you are all out of line and if he does not make you see it and wake you up to what he perceives as mistakes not only will he have failed you, but lost you all as well.”

  They all pondered her words quietly. It was weird seeing Steph offer sagely advice, especially in that intonation. He was getting used to it, but in the short time she’d been here she’d changed. She wasn’t the same girl he and Staryana went to school with a few months ago. It was like they’d watched her grow up right in front of them.

  “You handled him quite well, caria,” Mythos mused as he took her hand pulling her from the trance of information she was lost in and the gold essence faded from her eyes.

  “I only did what needed to be done, Mythos.” She glanced around the room. “He caught all of you by surprise so badly that you basically rolled over for him. Besides, he was completely out of line and it was wrong. I turned the tables on him.”

  “Yes, I think you caught us by surprise as well,” Cymeryn smirked in amusement.

  Steph shrugged while Byryn and Staryana laughed. “That’s typical sprite right there, Cymeryn. Trust me…you have yet to see her bad side.”

  “I’m not that bad, Byryn,” she retorted.

  “Riiiight,” Staryana laughed. “That’s why most people at school stayed the hell out of your way. Your moods were infamous.”

  “Even I avoided your temper, Steph, and that’s saying something,” Byryn chuckled.

  She smirked. “That’s just because you knew even then that I could kick your ass.”

  He grinned seeing her smugness. He already knew she wouldn’t find him so equally matched now. “Watch it, sprite. You’ve yet to prove that.”

  Marcus nodded. “It’ll be interesting to see what happens next time you two spar. Whether she will be able to adjust to keep up with you. We still have to test your limits at some point today, Byryn. You’ll be sparring against both of us and testing your abilities. We won’t hold back this time so you should be prepared.”

  “It is not that we are trying to push you to the brink, Byryn,” Cymeryn explained, “but if you do not know your limits you risk losing control. You have far more power than you did before.”

  He considered what they were saying and he knew he could wield all the essences now but he still couldn’t imagine having as much power as they seemed to think he did. Going against both of them wasn’t exactly something he was looking forward to but he supposed it would be a true test of his abilities. The only thing he was sure about was things were definitely changing.

  Dark essence surged through her veins and she grimaced. Her muscles were sore and her entire body was stiff but he held her tighter every time he sensed her pain. She thought it would make it hurt worse but for some reason it seemed to relieve it some way. She stared up at him. There was a ruggedness to him. His face was hard and chiseled. She got the sense that he didn’t smile often, but the few times he had smiled at her had made his eyes shine like the sun. Every time she looked up it was directly into those glowing yellow eyes of his. It felt like he could see right into her soul.

  What the hell was wrong with her? Why was she even noticing this guy and how the hell had she ended up in his arms? Felycia wanted to smack herself in the head. She had basically asked him to awaken her. What the hell would she have done if he said yes? There was no way she could handle being tied to any male that way. She couldn’t even fathom how she was tolerating being in his arms without her skin crawling.

  “In here,” Trina spoke softly opening a door. “I’m going to get a change of robing for you, Felycia. What you are wearing will be most uncomfortable for you soon.”

  He set her gently on the bed. “I will remain until you return, Trina.”

  Felycia watched as she nodded and left, leaving her alone with this male. Every warning bell in her head should be firing. She should be freaking out ready to bolt. She didn’t do private encounters of any kind with males or men, anyone really if she was honest. Well, aside from Kylion but that kid could charm anyone’s heart. She waited for the normal panic to set in but it didn’t.

  “How are you feeling, my dear?” He asked. “Is the pain still bearable?”

  “It…well, I can still manage it anyway,” she replied unsure how to answer him. She didn’t want him to find any weakness in her.

  She wasn’t even sure she should be talking to him. Byryn didn’t really seem comfortable with the entire situatio
n and while she may not exactly bow down to kiss his feet like most of the unawakened, she did trust him to some extent. She would never admit it. She would deny it vehemently actually, but the truth was aside from that night of hell, whenever their paths had crossed he had done nothing but protect her.

  She understood what had happened, she didn’t really blame him, but she couldn’t really handle any sort of relationship with him either. She relied on him only as much as she needed to and he thankfully allowed her to have her space in most situations. If he felt she shouldn’t be around this male there had to be a reason. Even if they were rivals, she was his sister. Despite their estranged relationship and him having disavowed his Shade lineage, it would make her a target…still he hadn’t followed them.

  Damn it, she wished she’d paid more attention to how Byryn was reacting to Devyn so she understood the rules here better. The truth was she had been completely absorbed with him despite what was happening to her body. Hell, she had never reacted like that to any male, of any species, so why was she so distracted by him? She’d paid little attention to Byryn, only enough to understand her options and what would be expected of her. Really though, if Devyn was that much of a threat Byryn wouldn’t allow her to be alone with him and neither would Trina.

  “Felycia,” he hesitated studying her, “are you nervous around me? I can sense apprehension coming from you and I do not wish to add to your discomfort.”

  She chewed her bottom lip unsure how honest she should be with him. “That’s just it, I don’t know…”

  He pulled over a chair and sat beside the bed crossing his leg over his knee as he studied her. “How so?”

  She sighed. “Byryn and I don’t always get along, but he generally looks out for me. He didn’t seem overly happy that you were talking to me, let alone holding me.” She really didn’t want to get into all of the other reasons as to why she shouldn’t trust him. Like, oh yeah, he was a male. Why the hell did she feel so drawn to this guy?

  “I see.” He smiled at her seeming momentarily amused and it lit up his eyes. She wished he would do it again. “Your brother is just looking out for your honor. He is curious of my intentions.”

  She studied him warily. “And what exactly are your intentions?”

  Clearing his throat he shifted uncomfortably a moment. “Felycia…I will be blunt. You are unawakened Shade. The progeny of my enemy. I have never known another way than such. I have not yet seen the truth of the Gray and I would be lying to you if I said that I trust that it is not simply another form of trickery by the Darkness. It appears highly idealistic to me. In truth, I should have no intentions towards you.” He shook his head reaching over to take her hand, “Yet I find myself concerned and wanting to ease your pain. I do not wish to mislead you or overstep my bounds, but I feel a deep need to see that you are alright. There is some sort of connection, but perhaps you cannot feel it?” He seemed hesitant at the admission like he was nervously waiting for her answer. Actually he seemed almost as confused as she was.

  She stared at his hand a moment. His honesty helped to relax her some. Suddenly she was talking and the words that came out of her mouth shocked her. “You’re the first person that’s touched me who hasn’t made my skin crawl.”

  Panic shot through her. Why the hell had she said that!? No one knew that she couldn’t tolerate touch. They all just thought she was a bitch. No one was supposed to know. What the hell was wrong with her? She wanted to look up to see his reaction but she couldn’t force herself to now. She felt his finger gently nudge her chin up and there were those eyes. His brow was furrowed and she could sense the anger coming off of him in waves, but she also sensed a strong protectiveness.

  “Who has hurt you, dear girl?” He spoke in a hushed but dangerous tone. “If you ask it, I would see that they never again walk the realms so that you have naught more to fear.”

  Trina cleared her throat. She stood in the doorway holding a sheer white gown. “Thank you for your assistance, Devyn. Felycia needs to get changed and I need to attend to her now. Perhaps we shall see you at the banquet this eve?”

  She watched as he glanced back at Trina and then met her eyes as another wave of essence flowed through her. Trina approached the bed and rested her hand on her shoulder balancing the essence in her. When she opened her eyes he was staring into them again.

  Devyn sighed but nodded. “I will leave you now, but I am not far. I know you are uncertain but Trina will see you through this and you will be alright. If you need me, Felycia, or if you wish to continue this conversation, I am available to you. You only need ask, do you understand?”

  She nodded. “Thank you, Devyn.”

  He held her gaze as he stood, quickly leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. He lingered a moment and a feeling of warmth that she had never known flowed through her. It eased her instantly. “Be well my dear girl,” he murmured and then turned and walked from the room closing the door.

  She stared after him in shock, instantly feeling a loss now that he was gone. She looked back at Trina who was watching her curiously but there wasn’t any judgement there. Felycia thought she might say something about Devyn, but she seemed to decide not to discuss the issue.

  “Can you change into this on your own? I do not wish for you to be uncomfortable but this will make things easier. In truth, most go through the unawakening mostly nude but I thought this might be a better option for you,” she offered.

  Felycia attempted to raise her arms but her muscles felt like jelly. She huffed in exasperation. She hated having to rely on anyone and even the idea of permanently linking herself to anyone through the awakening scared the hell out of her. Part of her wanted to just let it happen, just let the awakening take her and end it all, but whether she liked it or not she had someone else she had to consider. Sooner or later Bryce was going to need her and she couldn’t abandon him. She had to go through with this so she was strong enough to protect him when the time came. She just hated how weak and vulnerable this shit made her.

  “It’s alright, Felycia. I’ll help you. I promise, this will not be so bad once we are settled.”

  Trina reached down carefully and pulled her sweater off of her and slid the slip of a nightgown over her head before unclipping her bra. She gently slid the bra out around the straps and pulled the gown down. She gripped the waistband of her sweatpants and nodded for her to lift, sliding them off and the nightgown down with one smooth movement.

  Felycia looked down at her arms and legs with a cringe. No one had seen her this exposed in a long time. No one had seen these scars, not since the night they were inflicted. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to shield herself but Trina only pulled the covers over her.

  “They won’t be there after today. Your skin will heal during the awakening,” the Fae spoke softly not meeting her eyes. She walked over to the table by the door grabbing a full pitcher of water and a glass that she must have set there when she entered. Pouring a glass she handed it to her as she set the pitcher on the end table by the bed. “Drink this.”

  Felycia watched her noticing for the first time that she was in a robe. She slid it off and slung it over a chair before settling beside her in the bed wearing a nightgown very similar to the one she had just put on her. As she gently took her hand their eyes met. “Felycia, the awakening is in many ways a new beginning. It is said to wash away the sins of the past because it is a rebirth of your mind, body, and soul. I know you have lived a very difficult life and this transition into our world is difficult for you...but try to think of this as a fresh start. A clean slate if you will. I will be here to help you with anything you need.” She paused watching her as she carefully framed her words, “There needs to be close physical contact during the awakening but I promise, I won’t harm you. If anything, I should be able to ease the pain you are experiencing.”

  She nodded hesitantly and cringed slightly as Trina drew her closer wrapping her in a gentle embrace. She didn’t allow anyone to get this
close to her. Generally if they tried they ended up picking themselves off the ground. She stiffened a few moments but as the waves of essence flowed through her and Trina she began to relax into the rhythm of its pulse between them.

  “Is that better?”

  Felycia breathed out in relief, “It is, thanks.”

  Trina nodded. “Now, I will do my best to keep you balanced, but you need to keep yourself in check as well. If it becomes too much, push the essence out into me. If the flow ebbs off then pull some of my essence into you. The more balanced the flow, the easier this will be on you and the sooner the awakening will peak and hence end.”

  She focused on the flow of essences inside of her, as Byryn had taught her to do. She thought back on it now, but she had no idea why. She never thought about this shit. She didn’t really want to think about it now but the memory and the images entered her mind.

  No one else had ever bothered to take the time to tell her what she was or teach her anything. She was a girl, no one felt she was worth the effort. They used her, they never taught her. Byryn had been sent to track her and her Mom. She had taken off, stealing her away from Trevyn, and ran across the country. They moved constantly from place to place always in the cities. Her Mom was a drug addict and terrified of Trevyn. She constantly needed a fix and needed to get away from her Father even more. When money ran tight she whored herself out and when that didn’t bring enough money she had whored out Felycia. She cringed involuntarily even thinking about it.

  The first time she hadn’t even known what was going on. She’d been only thirteen and her Mom said that she needed her to do something for her so they could leave, so that they could move again. She led her to a hotel room and placed her hand in the hand of a man wearing a tailored suit and told her to behave and do whatever he asked.

  It was horrible. She hated his hands on her body and he had been so rough with her. She bled afterwards and never wanted to have sex again, but every night it seemed her Mother found someone new to sell her off too. It didn’t matter if they were in Los Angeles, Vegas, Seattle, or Reno, there were always men who paid for her body. She became so numb after a while. That first night and a few after tears ran down her face as they forced themselves on her, but after that she just sort of shut down to it. She didn’t even feel their touch. In her mind she wasn’t even there, she was somewhere else, anywhere else.