Hard Lessons: (A Wild Minds Prequel Novel)

by Charlotte West

  He stepped back and closed the door to the bedroom, leaving me alone and in the dark.

  “A bowl of curry, flower,” Turner grumbled.

  I ripped a page from Billy’s book and said, “Fuck off, Turner.” But there wasn’t nearly enough heat behind it. The drummer laughed. Oh yeah, I was tough. As tough as a kitten or a newborn baby. “And while you’re at it, take a shower, too. You stink.”

  “Oh my god, you’re the best secret lover I’ve ever had,” I exclaimed upon seeing the hotel suite. The next night, Billy made good on his word and rented us a hotel room. Actually, a hotel floor. The top floor, lined with suites, one for each band member.

  Upon entering the cream and gold room, I squealed in delight. I danced through the living room and threw open a bedroom door. Another squeal of delight and I jumped onto the king-sized bed, sinking into the fluffy duvet. Doubling my happiness was the fact that I had the afternoon off. At Billy’s behest, Trent had taken Addy to see the new Pixar flick. Then he wasted no time ushering me into a limo and taking me to a hotel. It wasn’t lost on me that Billy was doing this all for his benefit. He thought he was going to get laid. And he was so right.

  Billy followed and positioned himself in the doorway, shoulder leaning against the frame, arms crossed. His bicep muscles bunched under his tee. Yum. “How many?” he asked.

  I stopped my ogling. “How many what?”

  He frowned. “How many lovers have you had?”

  I pursed my lips and tried not to smile. “This year?”

  “This isn’t a laughing matter, flower. We’re still recovering from the tutor.” His mention of Joseph reminded me I needed to get on the horn and find Addy a new tutor stat. “How can you expect me to trust you again if you won’t be forthright?”

  I laughed and bit my cheek. “How many have you had?”

  “Lovers? Counting you?” he asked. I nodded. “One.”

  I made a face of much disbelief. “What about Svetlana?”

  Billy scoffed. “Svetlana? I fucked her but we were never exclusive.”

  I winced at his crassness. I felt bad for the model, that Billy could dismiss her so callously. Would he do the same to me? But, as Billy had just pointed out, he hadn’t committed to her. He hadn’t promised anything. Not like he had with me. That had to mean something. Didn’t it?

  “What’s wrong?” asked Billy.

  I rested my chin on my folded hands. “Nothing.”

  “Please.” He tilted his head at me. “I’m an obsessive fan of your face. I can tell when something is wrong, you get this tiny pucker …” Two steps and he was in front of me, his crotch almost at eye level. Despite my pique, dirty thoughts filled my mind. He put a single finger between my brows … “right here.”

  I peered up at him, at his magnificent body and too-beautiful face. It didn’t seem fair what god had given him—looks and talent. Liquid filled my eyes. I felt weepy and hormonal. Maybe I was near my period. Yeah, that was it, and not all these pesky feelings I’d developed for my boss. “I’m just thinking about the future.” The rock star life, it’s a fantasy. I sighed. “How all things eventually end.”

  “Deep thoughts for such a pretty girl.” I screwed my face up, not sure if I should be offended by the implication that pretty girls didn’t need to be smart, or delighted he’d called me pretty. I settled into ambivalence. He crouched so we were face-to-face, almost nose-to-nose. Since our sexy times, I noticed Billy needed a lot of affection. He wanted to hold hands or play with my hair or simply be in my space. I was constantly batting him away, afraid Addy might see, trying to keep my emotional distance, to keep from fully falling. My physical distance provoked much scowling and glowering from Billy. He’d been in a shit mood until we’d gotten to the hotel. “Nothing lasts forever,” he said, hand on my cheek, gently cradling it.

  “I know.” My lips curled downward. All things had a time limit. Billy’s attention span. This job. My mother’s life.

  “But while it does last, it can be fun right?”

  “Sure,” I agreed. It’s easy to acquiesce when it’s your only option. “It’s just that,” I paused, “I have complicated feelings for you, Billy.” There, I admitted it.

  He closed his eyes and then opened them, perhaps willing my words away. Shit had just gotten real. And Billy didn’t do real very well. “Don’t say that, flower.”

  I met his eyes. “Too late.” I was an inch away from begging. Could you ever feel anything for me? Please feel something for me. If you don’t, just lie. I realized how pathetic I was. If he didn’t care for me, I’d still sleep with him, I’d still fetch his coffee and iron his shirts while secretly smelling them.

  His thumb rubbed my bottom lip. “I know you got concerns about what’s going on between us, flower. You’re feeling shit and I get that. I’m feeling some shit, too. ” My heart took flight. Treacherous hope dug and took root. My insides felt like one of Addy’s early drawings, all scribbly and chaotic colors. He rubbed his chest and he grimaced. “Jesus, it kind of hurts sharing feelings. Is this what it’s like to be sensitive? I feel like an elephant just sat on my chest. Quick …” he stood and began unbuttoning his pants. “Make sure my dick is still there.”

  I laughed, my mood instantly lighter, and scooted forward on my hands and knees. Pushing his hand away, I grasped his fly and pulled down. “Poor, Billy,” I crooned. “Do you need me to make you feel like a man again?”

  His hand slid through my hair. “I do, darling. Kiss it better.”

  I smiled and ran the tip of my finger over his tented boxers.

  He threw his head back. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to picture you in a nurse’s costume.” He groaned.

  “I’m okay with that.” I dug into his shorts and found his hard length, stroking it up and down. I rubbed the smooth, crowned head with my thumb, wiping up a tiny bead of pre-cum. Withdrawing my hand, I licked my thumb clean.

  “Oh, fuck, darling.”

  I slid off the bed and knelt at his feet. My hands skirted up his jeans-clad thighs, all the way up, stopping at his waistband. I shoved down his boxers and jeans. And just as quickly, my hands were back on his cock, stroking and rubbing, squeezing at the base like my Navy SEAL showed me so many years ago. Billy shifted away, but just for a moment. He tugged off his shirt. I gazed up at his bare chest, at his rippling muscles and black-and-white tattoos. My god, this man. He took my breath away. Even though I was the one on my knees, I felt powerful. I did this to him. I made him hard, made him want me. I’ll never understand why, but now wasn’t the time for questions.

  I took Billy into my mouth. First I teased, licking and sucking. Yum. His hands fisted my hair. At his rough touch, I let him slide all the way back until the head of his cock grazed the back of my throat. I swallowed and Billy grunted.

  “Fuck.” His hands tightened in my hair. In response, my fingers dug into the back of his thighs, urging him to move, to thrust. I was so turned on. I squirmed in my kneeling position, bobbing my head. “Fuck, darling, you look so beautiful down there taking my cock,” Billy rasped. My eyes flickered up and met his. Oh god, he’d been watching me the whole time. Another thing I’d learned about Billy since our sexy times started: along with being a biter, he was kind of a voyeur. The third time he’d taken me he’d done so standing while I laid back and he watched as he slowly slid in and out of me.

  Billy’s chest heaved. He ran his thumb along my lips. He groaned again and again. I let his cock fall from my mouth and licked him from root to tip. Then sucked him down again. His hips pumped faster. Again that powerful emotion swamped me. Billy was out of control. And I drove him to the brink.

  “Darling,” he ground out and I knew, I knew just a little more and he’d go over the edge. “I’m going to come.” His cock jerked and his nostrils flared. His hands tightened in my hair, pulling and dancing on the edge of painful. He exploded into my mouth and I drank him down. In all my years, all my heated one-night stands with my Navy SEAL, it’d never been lik
e this. And I knew it never would be. Billy was the only man who made me feel so wanton, so savagely desired.

  “Fuck, flower,” Billy panted. I sat back on my heels and blinked up at him. Fingers grazed my cheek, such a tender touch. I smiled from ear to ear, feeling pride and other things, like deep affection and love. No, not love. I bit my lip, willing that pesky emotion into oblivion. “I’ve got to get to the arena for practice.”

  “Oh,” I said, disappointment colored my tone. What about me? What about me? My nether region chanted.

  “So you’re going to have to be quick,” said Billy. He snapped his fingers. “On the bed, on your back, darling.”

  I hopped to, doing what my boss told me. I was an ever-so-good employee. Billy pulled up his jeans and boxers and when he went to put on his shirt, I blurted, “No, leave it off.”

  He smiled, slow. “Why, flower. I feel so objectified.”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “You pictured me in a nurse’s costume. I’m picturing you as a Navy SEAL.” I brought up Colin because I needed some reassurance. Childish, I know. Billy’s jealousy was the closest declaration I got to love.

  Billy’s hands slid under my ass and squeezed.

  “Ouch!” I squirmed.

  “Don’t say shit like that to me, flower. It makes me want to punish you.”

  Oh, at his whispered promise my sex squeezed tight. Yes please. Punish me. I’ve been bad. So bad. His hands tucked into the waistband of my leggings and with one swift motion, he whipped them off, along with my undies. I was totally bare from the waist down. On the bus, the room had been dim, grey from the outside weather. But this time all the lights were on. I’d made a big deal out of flipping on each one as I danced about the room. And the window curtains were open. We were on a top floor, so I didn’t worry anyone could see in. But the daylight was bright. I clenched my thighs together, too aware of my dimply flesh.

  “Billy?” I was about to put a kibosh on the whole thing. Forget me. We can handle this business later. In the dark. Under the covers.

  “Hmm?” Carefully he placed his hands on my knees and spread them. I grabbed a pillow and covered my hot face. “No hiding, darling. I want to see all of you.” The pillow was pried from my hands and tossed to the side. He laid between my thighs. My heart sped up and threatened to burst from my chest. “You’re so gorgeous.” He stared between my legs. I put a hand over my eyes. His hands ran up the inside of my thighs, leaving gooseflesh in their wake. He bent down, placing a kiss on each thigh. “This pussy is mine.” He flicked his tongue over my clit. Even though I knew it wasn’t possible, I swore sparks shot from my skin. I’d never felt so alive. So wanted. So adored. His strong hands cupped my ass. I was slick and needy, totally out of control. My hips bucked, seeing his tongue again. He withdrew and nipped the inside of my thighs, sucking and biting. I moaned. Damn man, leaving marks on my body like some kind of werewolf-caveman. My eyes ran the length down my body. Billy wasn’t the only voyeur. The sight of his blond head working between my legs was everything. He glanced up, a muscle ticking in his jaw, then he went to work, devouring me. His tongue lashed. His throat hummed. His fingers worked into my channel. The combination had me writhing. My knees bent, my head tilted back and I did that thing again, where I chanted nonsensical things. Please. Don’t stop. Right there. Right there. Right theerrreee. I came. Stars exploded behind my eyelids. My chest heaved.

  “Fuck, I’m going to be late.” Billy loomed over me. His hands went to his fly, unbuttoning it. His cock sprang free and he was inside me. His tongue slipped inside my mouth, mimicking his rough thrusts. I came alive against him. My body wound tight and chased another release. Billy called to me, body and soul, and I answered, gripping his hips between my thighs. I couldn’t get him close enough. We clashed together, a hurricane of savage want and insatiable hunger. Together, we rode out the storm.

  Morning and I was pouting.

  “It’s only one night on the bus,” Billy said, sipping coffee.

  I gazed at the hotel room. I hadn’t even gotten to know it yet. One night wasn’t enough for all the things I’d planned to do with it—showering in every bathroom at least twice, a couple of baths using those tiny bottles of French bath gel, a mini bar that needed raiding. The thought of climbing back on the bus and stuffing myself into a bunk and showering in the shoebox they called a bathroom did not appeal. I’d seen the good life, and I wanted to stay. Plus, I knew my period was coming, I could feel it, and changing a tampon in a moving vehicle sucked balls.

  I forked eggs around my plate. Another thing about hotels, they had room service. Amazing room service brought by men in tuxedos. I’d pre-ordered our meal last night and this morning when it had arrived, I’d licked Billy’s bacon, just for old times’ sake. “Maybe Addy and I should just stay here until the tour ends,” I suggested, with little hope.

  In the living room, Addy watched cartoons with headphones on. I’d made her wear them after I started hearing SpongeBob in my sleep. The girl had a serious obsession with the Bikini Bottom.

  “No fucking way, flower. Where I go you go.” Sigh. Billy liked buses, I liked hotels; that was the real lynch pin in our relationship. That and I was pretty sure I was in love with him. But I decided to ignore the L word. Ignorance is bliss, whoever said that got it right.

  “I know you’re super needy.” I said, concentrating on making the eggs on my plate into a frowny face. “It’s sad really.” I sniffed, casting another long, mournful gaze around the hotel room and snuggling deeper into my plush robe. “Would you be mad if I stole this robe from the hotel?”

  “For fuck’s sake, flower, you’re overreacting. Stop being so maudlin.” I gave him a super-sad look. He chugged back the rest of his coffee. “You can keep the robe.” My lips twisted into a smile. “And we’ll get another hotel in Vegas.” My smile brightened. “My god, you’re cheap, you know that? You should’ve held out for something more. I was about to promise you a car.”

  “I don’t want a car. I want a hotel room with a shower that can fit five people and a bathtub you can swim laps in.” My phone buzzed with an incoming call.

  “That thing’s been going off all morning,” Billy griped.

  “I’m sorry me managing your schedule bothers you.” Billy quirked a brow at me then smiled. I guess he kind of liked me sassy and pouty. “It’s probably Phil, he wants to change up the set list for Vegas.” There was also a small lighting issue that needed to be worked out, but I kept that tidbit from Billy. Sometimes the less he knew the better. He’d never notice anyway if one red light changed to blue.

  As I predicted, Billy wasn’t happy about changing up the set list. His brow narrowed into a V. “I’m not changing the set list. Phil can eat shit. Jett and I worked on that for a week. It chronicles our ascent to greatness.” The concert featured Wanks and Janks’ greatest hits from the beginning to now. Phil wanted to do more of a mix of old and new stuff. I kind of agreed with him. Things were getting stale.

  “You don’t have to decide right now. Just think about it.”

  Billy made a grumpy sound. Great, this would affect his mood for the rest of the day. Thanks Phil. My phone buzzed again. Jeez, the guy was relentless. “Give me the phone, I’ll tell Phil to bugger off.”

  I picked up the phone to do just that, but then I saw who was calling. Quickly, I put it down, screen facing the table. “It’s not Phil,” I said.

  If possible, Billy’s frown descended even more. “Who is it?”

  “No one.” I stood and pushed my plate away. “I’m going to go take a thirty-minute shower.” Idaho drought be damned. My phone buzzed. Billy cocked his head. His gaze jumped to the electronic device, still buzzing. Stop calling, I mentally commanded. The thing stopped vibrating, then started again.

  “You hiding something from me, flower?”

  My fingers twitched. I snatched the phone from the table and held it against my chest. I imagined I looked pretty cagey. I felt cagey.

  Billy held out a hand. “G
ive me the phone, flower.”

  One shake of my head and I was walking brusquely to the bathroom. The only room in the suite with a lock. I’d answer the phone in there. In privacy.

  “Is it that fucking tutor?” Oh, he was right behind me. I quickened my steps. A few feet and Billy blocked me. We were in the bedroom. The one Billy had slept in last night alone. I’d insisted on separate beds since Addy was in the same suite. I stepped to the right. Billy followed. I darted left. Again, Billy followed, blocking my path to the bathroom.

  “You’re acting like a child,” I said, my voice terse. “It’s not Joseph. And who it is, is none of your business.” My grip tightened around the phone as it buzzed again. For god’s sake, stop calling.

  “We can do this the hard way or the easy way. Which will it be, flower?” He held still, big body looming over me. It really wasn’t that big of a deal who was calling. I should just tell him. But then again, I didn’t really care for Billy’s attitude right then. Just because we were sleeping together didn’t mean he had the right to know everything about my personal life.

  “You’re being unreasonable,” I said.

  “You’re the one keeping secrets from your man. Give me the phone, darling.”

  Addy’s laughter bounced off the walls. She had no idea her father was being a threatening ass hat in the next room. “Okay, Billy.” I held the phone out. When he reached for it, I darted right, keeping the device locked safely in my hand.

  Behind me, I heard him mutter, “I guess it’s the hard way then.”

  My heart pounded, the bathroom door was inches away. Billy’s arm looped around my waist. My feet left the ground as I was hauled far from the bathroom door. Billy swung me up and dropped me on the bed. I bounced once and he was on top of me, caging me in with his arms and legs in much the same position as when we’d had sex on the bus. My pique turned to arousal, then back to anger. I wriggled and thrashed. The tie on my robe came undone, revealing my thin tank underneath. “You ready to give it up?” Billy asked.