The Ghosts of the Zombie Apocalypse

by Kayes, Greg

  "Because you're not a bad person."

  "How can you tell?"

  "You see me sitting here talking to a ghost and you ask me if I can tell a good person from a bad one? Ha! Well let's just say I notice more than your average bear."

  Mike scoffed a laugh

  "But since you're not going to be satisfied with that then it's because you didn't poke the system so much that it broke down. It seems you only ate enough to get by, if only to get by well enough. To put it a different way, you were just a mangy wolf who learned how to prey on the weak of the herd. Sad but true. That's nature at work."

  "But that's so cynical! You might as well forgive everyone for everything they have ever done to anyone for doing anything!"

  "Yes that's the point isn't it."

  Mike felt like he just got hit hard with a truth but didn't feel it stick.

  "Then...How can you blame anyone for hurting others?"

  "Oh I didn't mean that everyone just lets them get away with it. It's just predators can only go after the weak for only so long. Sooner or later one of those weak meals bites back. It's the threat of predators that make weak people scared enough to become stronger so that they can defend themselves from it.

  “But if it makes you feel any better the same thing would still happen even if there were no thieves in the world. Time, quantity, and uncertain chaos are the biggest thieves in existence. They are always taking what people have and people are always trying to be strong enough to protect themselves from those forces. And they’ll keep on doing it right up until the day when one of them steals enough from them to make a person weak enough to be preyed upon."

  Mike sat there feeling as though he was beginning to understand but didn't feel so good about himself.

  "You were not a great person in life it seems...but that doesn't mean you're a bad one. You're not a rabid wolf you know. You didn't kill everything in sight." She said

  "No. But the Master sure did."

  It was the lady's turn to look offset

  "What was that?"

  "The Master? He had me follow him around as his silent pet as he eviscerated and ate ghost after ghost. It made me so sick to watch. But I couldn't turn away after a while because he made me watch, like it was some kind of game to him, always taunting me that he could eat me at any moment he liked and could track me if I tried to lose myself from him."

  Mike gritted his teeth in memory.

  "If what you say about me being a wolf is true then how can this world allow something like him[11]to continue to exist?!"

  The lady paused then relaxed

  "Ah, the old 'why is there evil' talk. Simply put, it's just a bit of desire and chaos that hasn't burnt itself out yet. Give it time, he'll run out of steam eventually."

  "But he's been around longer than anything!!"

  "Ooh. One of those."

  "What does that mean?"

  "It means that he's one of those rare balanced balls of desire and chaos. Now that is like a mangy wolf. And a old mangy wolf at that. One that’s been around long enough to learn all the tricks of the trade. The Master was it? He might as well call himself Dr. Moriarty! Must have been watching a lot of TV with his spare time."

  "How dare you compare him to me!!!"

  "I didn't-"

  "You saidI was not a bad person! ThatI was a wolf! How can something so terrible, be an act of good?!"

  "...Because." She said calmly

  "Simply because?! That's horse shit!!"

  "Yes it is." She said as she lounged back into the bed "Yes it is...But it's also just how it is."

  "So you'd just forgive him, just like that, for eating everybody and torturing me, simply because!?"

  "Well it's not like I'd exactly be happy about it. I mean I get pissed off if a fox gets into my hen house and eats all my chickens, although I'd like to see em try with those buggers, or if another predator goes and kills my milking goats. Or if some person trying to survive this apocalypse comes here trying to kill me for all I have just so they can live. Or even if someone who developed a taste for murder after killing so many others for their stuff came after me simply for the rush of it. It's all nature! And it's not like I'm not going to do everything in my power to keep predators like that from getting their way. And that's nature too! You don't have to love it, but you do have to learn to live with it, or it kills you."

  "I got a headache."

  "It's ok. This is a lot to take in. Rational thinking doesn't mix well with overblown emotion. But it can help calm it down over time."

  Mike sat tensely quiet for a minute.

  "He is still coming for me." He said softly with a shiver of terror.

  "Yes, I imagine he is."

  "How can I hope to stop that? I'm not strong like that woman! He ate her and she just burst forth from his belly like it was an accident! How can I hope to do something like that?!"

  "You can't." Mist said flatly

  "Oh." Mike said as if he was hit by an unexpected brick

  "But you can lay off the junk food."

  "What?"

  "You zombie ghosts, all you do is tell stories, living of the residue of your former lives. It's all junk food. Kinda satisfying in a sweets only diet kinda way but doesn't do a damn thing for your head. It makes you weak. You're running on fumes as it is. Tell you what. I gotta go put out my friend outside, he looks like he might just have caught fire, and then after that we'll make you something good to eat. How does that sound?"

  Mike didn't know what to think. Thinking felt impossible right now. But if he was going to do anything, he might as well let this woman feed him and then maybe he could think again.

  "Sounds good."

  "Great!" The lady said jumping to her feet enthusiastically "I'm Mist."

  "What, like the fog?"

  "Yes."

  "Like you're parents named you that at birth?" Mike said "What, did they run out of all the other hippie names? Were they like 'rainbow moon sparkle beam sounds great but let's go with Mist on the off chance that she may want to live a life free of magic pony jokes.' Man they must have been wishing for you to live your life as a hermit out here in the forest."

  “Mist was my mother’s name.”

  “Case and point.”

  "Are you done?" Mist said with the patience of a rock

  "Hold on, one more. They must have been like...um...nope, I lost it."

  "Well if you're done being malnourishedly drunk, let's go and see about a flaming man."

  The few chickens that survived the zombie deer and chicken attack were sitting around the kitchen looking really ticked off over their coop being currently indisposed of by fire. They figured one house was as good as the next and moved right in. They also looked as if they were not about to take any guff from anyone about it either. These were 'survive by any means' chickens now and they knew it. They sure as anything scared the hell out of Mike.

  Mike wasn't sure how the chickens were able to see him but they could and they looked as if they looked right through him. Naturally you could look right through Mike, cause of him being a ghost in all, but the way they looked at him loudly said "you only exist currently on that ghostly plane because we currently allow it. We could send you spiraling down into the oblivion of nothingness with one fleck of our gnarled tail feathers. You don't mess with us, we don't mess you up, capisce?!" He wasn't sure if chickens could actually do any damage to him but any chickens owned by someone who communes with ghosts had to have a little something more going on for them. He sure as anything wasn't about to go test them, not when the threat of getting eaten already loomed so closely over his head.

  But with the way things around here were turning out they seem to suggest that getting eaten was beginning to sound like the better option. Currently there was a cup of tea sitting in front of Mike, and that hurt his head because on top of not knowing what on earth he was supposed to do with it, he hated tea.

  "What do I do with this?" Mike asked.

  "You
drink it." Mist replied

  Mike looked down at the cup then back at Mist

  "How?"

  "Did you need instructions on how to eat when you were a baby?"

  "No, but I'm not a baby that got fed for him. I'm a dumb adult who is in a different body without a manual."

  "Even the zombies know how to eat."

  Mike sat there embarrassed and angry at being told that a zombie was better at this than him. He slouched as he pouted at the cup of tea like a finicky child not wanting to eat his vegetables. He then looked up at the man that Mist had just smothered the fire off of. He was eating a full meal in a surprisingly good mood for someone who was just engulfed in flames a moment ago. His cloths still smoldered with faint trails of wispy smoke swirling off into the air like incense.

  "Why is there a corpse eating food at the table? Can I eat what he is eating? It looks much better than this...weak flavored water."

  "Not a tea drinker?"

  "Not at all."

  "Well then it's a good thing it's not tea."

  "What?" Mike said looking back down at his cup "Ohh no. You can't fool me like that again."

  "But it's true." Mist said "I can't stand tea myself. Too bitter. That there...is medicine."

  Mike looked back down at his cup skeptical. There was a tea bag seeping in the steaming water.

  "Bull." He said flatly.

  "Hand to God." Mist said sincerely

  Mike looked intently at Mist while being surprised that he did so. But this was something he was dying to ask since he died.

  "Is there a God?"

  "What’s that about God?" Mist said suddenly unbalanced by the change in topic.

  The luckless John stopped eating his meal and expressed "What's that about God? I wasn't listening."

  "He wants to know if there is a God." Mist said to John after she mentally caught herself up.

  "What about a life after ghost? Who are you talking to?" Mike asked

  "John here." Mist replied

  "You mean the corpse?! I didn't hear him talk, are you messing with me to change the subject?" Mike said

  "Is your ghost friend asking about me?" John expressed

  "Yes." Mist said to John

  "Why would you do that?!" Mike said outraged

  "Well, is there a God?" John expressed

  "No!" Mist said to Mike

  "Really?" John expressed "I'm surprised! I mean some crazy supernatural stuff seems to go on here. It's hard to not believe in God with all that has been going on."

  "Where are you getting off dodging a subject that I take very seriously!" Mike said

  "There has to be at least an afterlife what with all these ghosts you keep talking to, right?" John expressed

  "I mean here I am terrified over being eaten at any moment! I'd really like to know if there is something that comes next!"

  "Everybody shut up!!!" Mist shouted

  The room went dead silent and expressionless. Mist huffed a few heavy breaths before calming down.

  "Mike, I can understand John here but you cannot, just like how I can understand what you say but he cannot. John and Mike, maybe there is a God and maybe there isn't. I haven't met such a thing yet. All I know is what I've seen and God isn't one of them.

  "Also I can't definitively tell you if there is an afterlife or not after this one or the ghost one because I haven't been there. If there is, then it's almost definitely not like how we would think it would be. It's definitely not about turning into ghosts. That only happens with extreme circumstances. I don't know how to sum up what all that means to you without another long lecture. And frankly I'm too exhausted to go into it after the last one I just gave you on top of everything else that has happened today.

  "Now please try to drink your tea. I mean not tea. It's really just a mix of blessed aromatic herbs that I have spiritually charged up with good karma. Yes there is an actual technique to do that.

  "Now if you'll excuse me I need to go have a lie down. I'm sorry for blowing up like that. I almost got eaten today on top of my aching battered ribs from a house falling on me. Both of which are something most people aren't normally serene about after experiencing."

  Mist got up and started to make her way upstairs.

  "I'm sorry." Mike said, making Mist stop halfway up the first step. "I...It's been a long day for me as well."

  "I know." Mist said without turning "That's why I'm pushing myself so hard." She then turned to look at the two of them "For the both of you."

  John and Mike both seemed to blush solemnly

  "-And for the lady down stairs as well. Now. I'll be back in a bit. I just need to rest for a tick. Try to drink your not tea. It'll make you feel better. And thank you John for all your help today."

  "You're welcome" John expressed.

  Mist nodded and took another step up.

  "Wait, who's in the basement?" Mike asked

  Mist sighed

  "Henrietta. She's my and your friend who rushed you here with only one arm. Try to support her if you can. She's going through a tough transformation right now."

  And with that Mist went up stairs.

  The world...was pink. And not the kind of pink a six year old paints their room. This was real pink. The kind of pink an artist makes by adding just enough white to true red. It was...organic...and alive.

  Alive felt like such a funny word now after everything that has happened. Henrietta couldn't remember what it was like to be alive. She had memories of her life but...That was just an echo. She doubted that she ever felt alive while she was living either, not really alive and not that adrenalin rush dangerous people call alive either. Actually feel the life pumping and moving and living, instead of the automatic numbness she felt everyday just to get through another boring mindless day at her job.

  Henrietta wondered why this world made her think so much of that. On top of that, what the hell was she supposed to do now?

  Mist was dosing on her bed half awake. She didn't feel like trying to get to sleep not when she knew she wasn't going to get any. Too many years dealing with touchy ghosts...Any minute now.

  "Mist? Are you awake?" Mike said

  Right on cue.

  "What's wrong dear?" Mist said almost patronizingly if she wasn't so used to catching herself.

  "I'm sorry to wake you."

  "It's ok dear. I wasn't really sleeping." Mist said with a yawn

  "It's just...That woman who brought me in, Henrietta was it?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, where is she? It's just you told me to go support her in the basement and all I found there was her corpse."

  "Well she is in mid possession of that zombie right now." Mist said with another yawn.

  "Can...can we do that?"

  "Oh yes. But only in little amounts" Mist said as she stretched her arms. "I imagine it will reject her out soon enough. Whether you think it or not a zombie is still a living thing. The living don't take well to being possessed by the dead for very long."

  "Oh."

  "Go on back down. I imagine she'll be wanting some company after she gets expelled."

  "Um."

  "What is it?" Mist said with an unseen sigh

  "Well if she is going to be expelled anyways, why keep her corpse living?"

  "Cause it would give her such a headache if I did. It's best to let things like this run their course."

  "Huh."

  "Anything else?"

  "No...I'll just leave you to your sleep."

  Mike started to head back to the basement when he stopped and remembered his manors.

  "Thank you...for everything."

  "Don't mention it." Mist said very thankful that Mike already got to the thankful stage.

  Mike left the room leaving Mist to relax in her covers. He was coming along much faster than she thought he would, considering the state he was in when he got here. This might just be bearable after all. She then pulled the covers over her head feeling as though she could finally get some
sleep now.

  Slowly Mist drifted peacefully off to sleep. And as her consciousness finally let her go to drift deep into the either, the last coherent thought that fluttered through her head was "Did he just say her corpse?"

  Well that didn't work.

  Henrietta lay exhausted on what she assumed was the floor. It was hard enough to tell directions when you were a weightless incorporeal entity, but it was near to impossible when you were within a solid object. Or at least she assumed that she was inside a solid object. It was getting hard to focus or remember more than a few minutes ago.

  For the last half hour, or what appeared to be a half hour, Henrietta had been trying to move...things. It was hard to know if the things had moved or not because it felt like she was within them when she tried to move...them. It was getting harder to focus...or remember more than a few seconds...ago...

  Damn, I'm losing it. I'd leave this...place if I could but it keeps pushing me back in. And pushing me out. And pushing me back in. And pushing me out.

  I'm getting so tired. But I got to do this. Mist said...Mist said...What did Mist say? I can't remember. Who was Mist again? Somebody...I use to...know? Why does my mouth taste like flesh?

  Mike came back down to the basement where Henrietta's corpse seemed to be having a fit on the floor. It was odd the way the corpse was holding its head while rocking back and forth neurotically. He'd never seen a corpse act like that before. But...a lot of things were happening today that he wasn't use too and that witch did seem to know what she was doing.

  The tea actually wasn't half bad once he got it down. It was a weird sensation trying to figure out how to drink it. But after a few times of metaphorically spilling it down his shirt he started to get the hang of drinking. It was just hard to think of it as drinking when you don't actually drink it. It certainly did make his head feel better.

  Mike sat down on the stairs and watched Henrietta's corpse writhe in madness. He didn't take any pleasure from watching that display knowing the person who pulled him away from that monster was in there. It looked painful, like watching something steadily go insane that you thought never had a mind to begin with.

  "Kinda makes you think, don't it." The Master said.