That’s when she’d carefully worked her way to the back of the pavilion so that she could slip out unnoticed before the deluge of tears started flowing.
Unsure of what she would do once she got out into the Spring Fling crowds, her interim plan had been to find a bathroom and stay until she’d gotten control of her emotions.
But as luck would have it, she’d run almost head-on into a woman named Tracy, whom she’d met at the Stocking Stitch. Tracy was leaving and Jordana had asked if she would give her a ride home. Seeing a viable escape, Jordana managed to dam up her tears, giving Tracy the excuse that she wasn’t feeling well and had lost Tanner in the crowd.
“Would you like me to help you find him? He’s sure to be worried.”
“Oh, no, thank you, that could take forever, and I know you’re on your way out. So, if you don’t mind, I’d really just like to go home and lie down.”
The excuse sounded flimsy even to her own ears. What kind of man would lose his pregnant wife at a carnival? And what kind of wife would simply leave, letting her husband wonder where she was?
Jordana and Tanner. That’s who.
She could tell that Tracy wasn’t quite buying the flimsy pretext, but she was too polite to ask too many questions. They rode to the ranch in silence; Jordana closed her eyes most of the way, pretending to nurse whatever it was that was ailing her.
When Tracy pulled up in front of the house to drop off Jordana, she said, “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want me to wait with you while you call a doctor? Or I’d be happy to go back to the Spring Fling and look for your husband. Does he have a cell phone? We could try calling him.” Tracy’s eyes brightened as if her suggestion was the long-lost answer they’d simply overlooked.
“No, thank you, really, I’ll be fine if I can just get in and lie down.”
Lie! Lie! Lie! her mind screamed. But she silently justified the untruth in the name of self-preservation.
It didn’t take too much more convincing before Tracy was driving away. Jordana watched the taillights of her car grow smaller with a mixture of regret and relief. She was a nice person. If circumstances had been different, Jordana might even have come to call her a friend. But circumstances dictated that Jordana go inside and pack and leave on the first flight out of here bound for Atlanta.
This was the reason she had insisted on the escape clause. Now, sadly, she would exercise it.
* * *
“Excuse me, are you Jordana’s husband?”
The petite woman caught Tanner by surprise. He didn’t recognize her, but he wanted to hug her when he heard her utter his wife’s name.
“Yes, I am,” he said.
“I know you don’t know me, but I’m Tracy Monroe, a friend of Jordana’s. I came back to the festival to let you know that she wasn’t feeling well and I gave her a ride home. I don’t mean to tell you what you should do, but it might be a good idea if you went home and checked on her. She seemed pretty distraught.”
The look of judgment in Tracy’s eyes may have been real or perceived. Either way, Tanner felt like a schmuck for being at this damn Spring Fling festival as his wife was hitching a ride home from someone else. Why hadn’t she told him she wanted to go?
“Thank you, Tracy. I’ll leave now.”
With a sick feeling growing in the pit of his stomach, Tanner beelined for the parking lot and floored the Tahoe most of the way home.
“Jordana?” He called her name as soon as he burst through the front doors. “Jordana, are you okay?”
She didn’t answer him.
The first place he looked was in the master bedroom. And that’s exactly where he found her. She was in the middle of packing her clothes and didn’t even look up when he entered the room.
“Jordana, what are you doing?” He walked around in front of her so she was forced to look at him. “Where are you going?” he pleaded.
“Home, Tanner. I’m going home.”
He tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away. “This is your home. Here with me.”
She didn’t say a word, but the look she shot him spoke volumes. Then she just shook her head and resumed folding her clothes and placing them into her suitcase.
“I know this might be too little too late, but I realized a lot tonight. The very least of which is I don’t know how I will live without you.”
She kept about her chore and didn’t look at him.
“I know I’ve been acting like a total horse’s ass lately and I’m sorry, I wish more than anything I could have a do-over or at least a chance to make it up to you.”
From the stoic look on her face, he might as well have been repeating the word blah blah blah blah. That’s when the very real horror hit him. He was about to lose the only woman he’d ever loved. Probably the only woman he would ever be able to love.
“Please listen to me.” He put both hands on her shoulders and gently turned her around to face him. He was surprised that she let him do it. Somehow he knew he had one shot, and he’d better make it good.
“So you know how I was your first lover?” Her eyebrow shot up in a fashion that seemed to say, Really? You’re going to go there? Idiot.
“Well, you are my first love. Jordana, I have never been in love before and I know I’ve messed up things terribly, but I can’t lose you. I love you.”
The incredulous look vanished from her face. In its place was a look of…awe. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. She closed her mouth and bit her bottom lip in a gesture that had become so familiar to him…so her…that it made him ache with longing.
Then she closed her eyes, but tears escaped, anyway.
“Tanner, I can’t stay in a marriage that isn’t real. Tonight, did you see Javier and Leah? Did you hear what he said and see the way he looked at her? That’s love. This separate-bedroom, worlds-apart arrangement even when we are in the same bed isn’t going to work. I will go along with whatever custody agreement we can fairly draw up, but living this way is just too hard.”
No. He wouldn’t let her go. He couldn’t.
“Please don’t go. Because I love you and I don’t know what I will do if I lose you. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.”
She was quiet, but at least she wasn’t turning away from him. Her stillness encouraged him to continue.
“I want you to be my wife for the long haul, and I will do whatever it takes to prove that to you. I’ve never done this before. So, I need you to help me. All I know is that you’ve gotten under my skin, and I guess it scared me when I felt a little out of control of the situation.
“For all my experience, I’ve never felt like this before and it scared me. Like a typical man, I needed time to work through those feelings and what it really means to give myself to another person. I just hope I’m not too late.”
Jordana sat down on the edge of the bed.
“I don’t want to leave, Tanner. I want to make a life with you and the baby more than I’ve ever wanted anything. But I can’t take this back-and-forth business. I can’t live in a world where I’m the Madonna mother of your child, but you need a wild woman in the bedroom. I’m not either of those. I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m not the woman who seduced you the night of the storm, either. I guess I’m somewhere in between. And I need to know that that’s enough for you.”
A rush of relief flooded through him, and he hoped he wasn’t jumping to the conclusion he wanted to see—he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately and it had landed him in a big mess.
“You are just perfect for me. If I have to spend the rest of my life proving that to you, that will be my life’s work.”
“What about the flight school? You would let that take a backseat to pursuing me?”
The humor had returned to her voice. And she was smiling again. Tanner drew in a shaky deep breath.
“I will move heaven and earth and all of my students if that’s what it takes to prove my love to you.”
Then she was in his arms.
“This is the best way you can prove your love to me. Just hold on to me and never let me go. Deal?”
He sealed the deal with a kiss delivered to rock her world.
“Mrs. Redmond, you have yourself a deal.”
* * * * *
ISBN: 9781459227316
Copyright © 2012 by Harlequin Books S.A.
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Fortune's Unexpected Groom (Harlequin Special Edition) Page 14
