In My Skin

by Shannon McKenna

  God only knew what shape she was in, but she was alive. It was a start.

  Hannah lay on the other side of Zade, unconscious. As far as he could tell with an ASP scan, her vitals were steady, but he didn’t like the waxy stillness in her face.

  A guy he didn’t recognize was slumped on the other side of the helicopter, head resting on a bundle of gear. ASP surged again automatically to analyze the guy’s vitals, his thermal sig. A lot of blood had leaked out, pooling beneath him.

  He gathered up all the energy he had to speak. “Hey,” he said, glancing toward the mystery man. “That guy. He’s dying.”

  Sisko and Zoe turned instantly to help. A flurry of activity. Good. Handled.

  Luke felt Dani’s hand slide into his and managed to squeeze it. Contact with her gave him energy. Enough to lift her hand to his lips and kiss it.

  She leaned down, spoke right into his ear. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought you’d let go. Left me.”

  It took a minute to gather the energy to speak again. “I stuck around for you.”

  She waved her hand. “Zoe brought you back,” she said. “She did…something to you. Put her hands on your chest.”

  He pondered that. “She pulled me out of the well,” he said. “But the strength to hang on…that was from you.”

  She laughed through her tears. “Come on. You’re the strongest dude I know.”

  “You gotta be strong for something. Or someone. Or it’s all for nothing.”

  She cuddled closer. “Great,” she said fiercely. “Fine. Be strong for me, if that works for you.”

  “It works,” he whispered. “Works great.”

  Then she was kissing him, and that was great, too.

  * * * *

  Hey. The fuck? Why didn’t you say you were gutshot? You asshole!

  Sisko’s furious voice seemed to come from miles away. Asa didn’t have the juice to respond. He had nothing to say for himself anyhow. You guys were busy. Luke was dead. Zade was shot. Hannah was down. Didn’t seem like the right moment.

  It was the right moment now, though. The only moment. He fought to stay conscious. Zoe hung over him, her beautiful dark eyes slicing right into his mind. Yelling orders at him. Wow, look at that. What a fucking trip. He liked getting attention from her.

  I’d obey you if I could, girl. I’d be gooder than a goddamn angel. But I’m all messed up right now. Ain’t happening. Sorry.

  Still, he couldn’t look away. The exploring pressure of her hands on his ripped up guts was burning, twisting agony. He inhaled to scream—

  And the pain was gone. He stood in a strange, misty nowhere. An in-between place. Quiet, glowing.

  Zoe stood there with him. Asa looked around. “Am I dead?” he asked.

  “Not yet,” she said.

  “Where the hell are we?”

  “Shhhh,” she soothed, taking a step toward him. “I don’t know. It’s the place I always go when I do this. Don’t worry about it.” She reached out as if to embrace him.

  He flinched back, startled. “What are you doing?”

  “Don’t be afraid,” she said gently. “I won’t hurt you.”

  He felt vaguely stung. “Not afraid. Just confused.”

  “You don’t have to understand,” she said. “Just…let me.”

  And she was right there, all around him. Like she was hugging him, but it was more than that. An incredible heat raced through him. Like they were a single column of fire.

  He felt her. All of her. Merged with her. No boundaries. He saw her like he’d never seen anyone, or imagined seeing anyone.

  The intimacy was unspeakable. Unbearable. It burned him.

  Changed him.

  Asa broke away from the contact, shocked and scared. The image dissolved, and he was back in the dark and noise and pain, guts screaming again. Zoe shouting to Sisko, her voice tight and businesslike as she pressed a folded piece of cloth to his wound.

  A big chunk of her shirt was torn off. Same material, he noticed. Huh.

  “He’s stable now, but he needs a transfusion fast, and surgery,” she was saying. “Tell Simone to head for a major trauma center with a helipad. Let them know we’re coming. And think of something good for the cops. A jealous husband, maybe.”

  “Fuck no,” Asa forced out. “I don’t do married chicks.”

  “Is that so. All right. A drug deal gone bad, then. If you like that better.” She pressed down slightly on the cloth, but wouldn’t look at him.

  “What the fuck just happened?”

  She shrugged. “You panicked,” she said. “You broke the link.”

  “I…I did what? What link?”

  “Nothing.” Her voice was impatient. “It’s OK. What I did was enough. Now you just need to get patched up. We’ll be at a hospital soon. Everything’s under control.”

  “What did you do to me?” he insisted.

  She sighed in frustration. “I got the bleeding to stop, obviously.”

  “Right. With the magic cloth from your healing shirt,” he said.

  Her eyes flicked down to his, and as quickly away again.

  “What was that…place?” he asked.

  “Nothing. You were dreaming,” she said crisply. “Shhh. Don’t think about it.”

  But she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

  Chapter 31

  Dani had no idea where she was when she opened her eyes.

  She lay in a comfortable bed. No one else had slept in it. On the other side, the pillow, sheets and coverlet were undisturbed.

  Luke. Wherever he was resting, it wasn’t in her bed. Where the hell was he? And how could she have zonked out when Luke’s heart had just stopped and restarted? What the fuck was she thinking?

  She dragged herself to a sitting position. Ouch. She was sore and bashed up every which way. Scrapes and cuts and bruises everywhere, bandages and tape wound all around her.

  She wore a man’s big soft sweatshirt. A pair of neatly folded yoga pants were draped over the foot of the bed. Pulling them on hurt. Ouch. She was creaky and stiff.

  The room had French doors that opened onto a terrace with a panoramic view of the ocean and the hills. She pulled them open, filled her lungs with cool, sweet air.

  She couldn’t tell what time it was, the sky being overcast, but she smelled coffee and food, so she followed the aromas out into a corridor. From there she passed into a simply furnished living room.

  In front of a big TV was a soft, fuzzy white rug with a pink fleece blanket crumpled on it. Stuffed animals were scattered around it. Probably for Ivy. This room was so tidy. The kid stuff was brand new. Any kid who’d lived here for long would have left more of a mark on the place.

  Dani continued onward through the house, following the sound of voices now. A turn and a few steps down took her into a huge kitchen.

  Luke, Zade and four other people were seated sitting around a large table, Ivy among them. She saw Zoe, the beautiful dark-haired girl who looked like Jada, and a pretty young woman with lots of freckles, long, wavy red hair and golden eyes. There was also a tall, muscular guy with long, tousled dirty blond hair.

  Ivy sat between Luke and Zade, perched on a pillow booster tied to the kitchen chair, in purple leggings, a pink sweatshirt and bunny slippers. A fuzzy pink knit hat covered her head, the same color as the upside down stuffed cat she was hugging, although the cat was twice as fuzzy.

  Her shadowy gaze fastened onto Dani, brightening when Dani blew her a kiss. She stuck up her small hand and caught the kiss. A good sign. But the plate of food in front of her looked untouched.

  Luke rose to his feet. “Dani! I didn’t want to wake you. You OK?”

  “Fine.” She smiled at him and nodded at the rest of them, feeling self-conscious. “Just wondering where you were. Had to be sure you were all right.”

&n
bsp; “I’m great,” he assured her.

  Dani moved closer to Ivy, who hugged her stuffed cat right side up now, her wide-open dark eyes taking it all in.

  “Hey there, sweetheart,” she said to the child. “I’m glad to see you. How are you doing?”

  Ivy opened her mouth, and tried to speak a few times. Finally she blurted out something unintelligible, in a hoarse, scratchy voice.

  Dani leaned closer. “I didn’t catch that, honey.”

  “It’s not English,” Zade told her. “It’s a random mix of languages. Her databases got scrambled somewhere along the line. If I understood it right, she told you that she likes her new clothes, and her cat. And her cinnamon roll.”

  “Oh,” Dani murmured, seeing the goopy roll clutched in the girl’s small hand. “Well, good for her. They do look yummy. I might have one of those myself.”

  Dani leaned down, and pressed a very gentle kiss onto the top of the girl’s fuzzy pink hat, and almost yelped when Ivy grabbed her suddenly around the waist. Her wiry little arms shook with tension.

  Dani’s heart melted in a hot rush. She hugged Ivy back, her eyes fogging up.

  The room got quiet. Everyone suddenly fascinated with his or her coffee.

  As quickly as she’d begun, Ivy let go and almost dropped the cat. She whispered something into its plush ear. Who knew what.

  Dani put a soothing hand on the little girl’s back. “Where are we?” she asked the group.

  “This is my house,” the dark woman said. “A little north of San Francisco. I’m Zoe. This is Hannah, and this is Sisko.”

  “Hey.” Dani smiled around at them. “I seem to remember more people in the helicopter.”

  “There were more,” Zade said. “Asa, Hannah’s brother got himself all shot up. He’s in the hospital. A guy named Brenner was there, and Simone, my wife. She piloted the chopper when Brenner got zapped by Luke’s freq scream. They both flew back up to Seattle this morning. To prep for Luke’s treatment. And Ivy’s.”

  “Treatment?”

  “To scrub out the control codes,” Zade explained. “Like she did for me.”

  Dani looked at Luke, wide-eyed. “Holy shit,” she said. “You can do that? Is that dangerous?”

  The men exchanged glances. “Do you mean, ah…more dangerous than having control codes in the first place?” Luke asked cautiously. “That’s kind of hard to quantify.”

  Dani waved a hand at them. “Never mind,” she muttered. “Dumb question. Don’t answer. I just forgot for a second who I was talking to. My bad.”

  Luke reached out for her. Dani leaned into the embrace, pressing her ear against the warm bare skin revealed by his open flannel shirt.

  The slow, heavy throb of his heart was the sweetest, most desirable sound in the world. It brought tears to her eyes, but there were too many people here to indulge in a tender moment. Luke was nuzzling the top of her head, and that was not helping one bit.

  She got herself under control before she turned to the people at the table.

  “Thank you all for coming to get us,” she told them.

  They exchanged grins. “No problem,” said the blond guy that Zoe had called Sisko. “Thank you for keeping this bozo alive for us.”

  “Actually, it was him who kept me alive,” she corrected.

  “Nah,” Luke said. “We took turns.”

  His dark hair was growing in. So was that sexy beard stubble. He couldn’t seem to stop petting her back. Long gentle strokes, from shoulder to hip, like he didn’t quite believe she was real and had to be constantly reminded.

  “What about the other guy?” Dani asked. “The one who got shot? Is he OK?”

  “Asa. My brother,” the girl named Hannah said. “He’ll be all right, but he’s in a foul mood. He hates lying still.”

  “Here, sit down,” Luke said, gesturing at the chair he’d occupied, next to Ivy. “I’ll get you coffee. And a plate.”

  Dani got a few bites of omelet down and a little bit of toast, but she wasn’t quite ready yet to face food. The coffee was awesome, though. Hot and strong.

  She stared around the table at Luke’s people as they ate together. Talking, teasing, laughing at their own inside jokes. Grateful to be alive, and to be with each other.

  It came over her, all at once. The sadness she hadn’t yet had the space or time to feel.

  “What is it?” Luke leaned closer, concern on his face. “You OK?”

  Of course, he’d notice. He saw everything that flashed across her mind.

  She swallowed over the lump in her throat. “I guess I’m just…jealous all of a sudden.” Her voice was halting. “Seeing you guys together. Looking out for each other. That’s what Naldo was for me. Family.”

  He slid his hand into hers, fingers entwined. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “He would have liked this.” She nodded down the table at the rest. “All of this.”

  “I wish he were here with us,” Luke said.

  She rubbed her eyes fiercely. “Me, too.”

  Ivy spoke, another unintelligible burst. The only word Dani caught was ‘Naldo.’

  Dani looked wildly from Zade to Luke. “What? What did she say about him?”

  “She says Naldo was her friend,” Luke translated. “He was nice to the kids. Brought them candy sometimes. When no one was watching. And he turned on the TV to cartoons.”

  Ivy smiled and slipped down from her pillowed chair, aiming a string of words at Luke, and a questioning look.

  “You bet,” he replied, pointing to a TV in an alcove just outside the kitchen. The TV snapped on as she made her way over to it, tuning itself to a cartoon channel.

  Dani wondered if Luke had turned it on or if Ivy herself had done so, but didn’t have a chance to ask. Zoe suddenly got up and deposited her coffee cup on top of the dirty dishes in the sink. She looked over at Dani like she was bracing for pain.

  “You saw the most of my sister,” she said. “Tell me what you saw.”

  Dani’s throat tightened again as she searched for words. “She was…heroic.”

  Zoe stared at her, expressionless. “Details. Please.” Her voice was clipped and flat.

  “Hale ordered her to shackle me in his quarters,” Dani began.

  Zoe nodded. “They told me.”

  “I think she was fighting stim sickness even then. Her face was flushed and she was sweating. When we got up to his room, I…I spoke your name. I think she had another…attack, I guess you’d say. With her in that condition, I was able to, ah…” Her voice trailed off. Damn. This was awkward.

  “Able to what?” Zoe prompted.

  “I got the stun baton away from her,” Dani said uncomfortably. “I used it on her. Cuffed her wrists to the bed. Took her clothes. So I could pretend to be one of them.”

  Zoe nodded. “I see.”

  “Before I left the room, I told her that you loved her,” Dani said. “I said that you never stopped looking for her. I kissed her on the forehead. I said it was from you.”

  Zoe turned away. Her black hair fell forward and hid her face.

  “In the end, she saved us,” Dani went on. “She killed Hale with her crossbow. I tried to get her to come with us. She said no. That it was too late for her.”

  Zoe, quietly. “Go on.”

  “The last thing she did for us was to blast the roof in the cave with her rifle,” Dani said. “She brought down a bunch of rocks. To block the others from pursuing us. But before she did that, she blew a kiss. She said it was for you.”

  Zoe opened the door to a patio behind her kitchen and went outside. The door swung shut behind her.

  The room was silent. Everyone’s face down, or turned away.

  Hannah blew her nose into her napkin and stood up. “Um…I’m making a run to the hospital,” she said, hurrying past with her face
averted. “Gotta check on Asa.”

  Zade was next. “Need to call Simone,” he said as he strode past them. “See how she’s doing on that treatment prep.”

  That left Sisko and Ivy. Sisko gulped down the last of his coffee and got to his feet.

  “Ivy and I have a Netflix date,” he said. “There’s this show we watch, on the jumbo widescreen in the den. Unicorns and friendly dragons. Whaddaya say, Ivy?” He held out his hand to her. “Want to binge with me?”

  Ivy got to her feet with a big smile, stuffing the rest of her cinnamon roll into her mouth. She took Sisko’s huge hand with her small, sticky one and said something incomprehensible, but it sounded enthusiastic.

  Sisko glanced at Dani. “She’s totally on board with the unicorns,” he translated for her. He squeezed Luke’s shoulder as he passed. “Later, dude.”

  And they were alone.

  Chapter 32

  Luke had to break eye contact first. He just couldn’t maintain it. It was too much. She was so fucking beautiful, with her curly hair flying all over the place. Those gorgeous green eyes full of light. He felt weirdly shy. Out of nowhere.

  He gestured toward a door leading out onto a small side patio. Could be slightly more private. Which was to say, it lowered their probability of having every last word overheard by his Midland family from a hundred percent to maybe ninety-seven percent. But whatever.

  After what they’d been through, he couldn’t really see that as an actual problem.

  They stepped outside. The fragrant, rain-drenched shrubbery around them created a semblance of privacy. Wind chimes hung from the porch roof tinkling and clanking with the slightest breeze. The metallic harmony got his ASP humming along with its calculations, but he stopped it cold.

  All he wanted to do was look at her. Convince himself that this was real. They’d actually made it through. They were still there, and alive. Both of them.

  His people, too. Miraculously alive and safe. As safe as it was possible to be.

  But the look in her eyes worried him. Like she wanted to smile but wouldn’t let herself. The wind ruffled her dark curls. Her eyes were bright and clear as she waited patiently for him to speak.