Learning to Drive... Him Crazy
Page 14
Without saying a word, John cradled her face gently in his hands and leaned down to kiss her. Softly at first, the kiss soon took on a life of its own. It became very passionate, and his tongue was soon seeking, no, demanding entrance, which she allowed. He knew he should back off, but he didn't seem to be able to pull himself from this wonderful lady that had stolen his heart.
When he finally found a way to pull back and end the kiss, there was no question in either of their minds as to their love for each other. They sat there staring at each other. "Wow," he finally was able to mutter.
She smiled and simply repeated, "Yeah. Wow."
She laid her head back against his shoulder and he pulled her against him and they cuddled again, both recovering from their declaration of love for the other, and the very emotional kiss that seemed to prove the truth behind the words. They stayed like that for several minutes, both content to feel the closeness they felt at the moment, and deep in their own thoughts.
Chapter 11
"Honey, because I love you, I think it's important that we talk about some of our thoughts and fears over the last couple days," John said, giving her shoulder a squeeze.
She looked up at him, but didn't say anything.
"One thing I think is vital in any relationship is communication," John continued. "I think it's important for us to talk. We have to talk about our feelings, let each other know how we feel, and be totally honest with each other. We've had a very traumatic experience, so I think over the next few days we need to share our feelings about that experience. We don't necessarily have to right now, right this minute, but over the next few days I think we need to share our thoughts and feelings, okay? That's important to any relationship, but in the relationship I want for us it's even more important."
"What do you mean, the relationship you want for us?"
"I really want this relationship to work, but I think I need to explain to you my thoughts on how relationships work best. I'm sure you've already realized I have what many people would consider to be old-fashioned ideas, and I will admit that, but I think they work and I'm not willing to abandon those ideas. If you don't think you can live with any of those ideas, we need to know about it now and talk about it."
"Okay."
"First, I believe the man should be the head of the relationship. Now, before you get upset, let me explain what that means to me. It means that I love you with all my heart and I see it as my responsibility to make sure you're safe, healthy and happy. When we have a decision to make, we will talk about it. If we agree, no problem. If we disagree, I will listen to what you have to say. If what you want will make you happy and I see nothing dangerous or unhealthy about it, that will more than likely be my decision, because I want you to be happy. If, however, what you want is dangerous or unhealthy, I will not allow it, because I feel I need to protect you and keep you safe. When we disagree, I will be the one making the final decision."
She looked up at him, eyes narrowing. "So what you say always goes?"
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "But it will always be with your happiness in mind. Unless something is likely to cause you injury or pain of some type, I will more than likely go along with it. I know it sounds scary that what I say always goes, but I think you have to give it a chance. Have I been so terrible about that so far?"
"No, but—you mean you've been doing that?"
He chuckled as he said, "I have been. I have no intention to micro manage you or your actions in any way. The only things I will stop or try to redirect are things that can cause you harm. For instance, you spending the money you had saved for a car. That will hurt you, if you can't become the event planner you were meant to be because you spent the money and can no longer afford a car. I'm trying to steer you in a better direction there, because I love you and I want to see you succeed as an event planner."
She smiled as she heard those words.
"And I haven't wanted you to take your driver's license test again because I didn't feel you were ready yet. You still needed to become more comfortable behind the wheel and to master stopping at stop signs before I can feel comfortable letting you drive places yourself. Again, that's because I love you and I don't want you getting hurt."
"And you've been helping me with that. You've taken the time to teach me what I need to change, and I appreciate it. That's one of the reasons that I fell in love with you."
"And I want to keep doing that. But that's what I mean when I say I will make the final decision about things. It will always be for your benefit, but what I say will be final. Are you okay with that?"
She thought before she answered. "I think so. I mean, hearing it makes me want to argue, but you're basically saying you'll keep doing what you've been doing, right?"
"Exactly."
"Well, I fell in love with you doing what you're doing, so I guess I can live with the idea that you'll keep doing it."
He laughed at her words and kissed her forehead. "Good. We've already talked about the next thing that is included in my old-fashioned relationship ideas."
"What's that?"
"The fact I will spank you if I feel you need it."
She stiffened, but didn't say anything.
After waiting several moments he asked, "Are you still good with that idea?"
She sighed and said, "John, I hate your spankings. After thinking about it long and hard, I'm okay with the idea, but they hurt so much. They really don't have to hurt that much for me to get the message and learn from them. Other aspects of the spanking, like the embarrassment and knowing how much I've disappointed you are just as much a deterrent as the pain for me. Can't you ease up, at least a little, on how hard you spank?"
"No."
She turned her head so she could look up at him. "No? That's it, just no?"
He pulled her head onto his shoulder again as he explained, "Alana, the idea of a spanking is not only to make you realize I'm disappointed in you. I'm glad you do realize that and it apparently means that much to you, but a spanking is also meant to deter you from ever doing it again. If you remember the spanking because it really, really hurts and you associate that pain with what you did to earn that spanking that really, really hurt, you're not as likely to do it again."
She sighed, but again didn't say anything.
"Honey, if you did something dangerous, something that could get you hurt and I just gave you a few smacks on your cute little bottom while I told you not to do it again, it would probably stop you for a little while. But you would soon forget that spanking and wouldn't think about it before you did it again. Then imagine how I'd feel if you did it again and were hurt. I'd feel awful. I wouldn't have fulfilled what I see as my obligation to protect you. That's an obligation I willingly take on because I love you and want to keep you safe."
"I hadn't thought of it that way."
"Trust me, honey, if a spanking really, really hurts, you'll think about that spanking the next time you think about doing the same thing again, and you'll think twice about whether you want to do it."
"How do you know?" she asked curiously.
"Because my dad's hand, and occasionally his belt or a paddle, had me stopping to reconsider my actions on several occasions."
"Your dad spanked you?"
"He spanked Cal and me whenever we needed it. And by doing so, he kept us safe and happy." He paused before adding, "My mom was about the happiest lady I've ever known and he kept her safe and happy the same way."
Alana turned around to look at him again. "Your dad spanked your mother?"
"Yes, he did, and she was very happy. They had a very close, loving relationship, just like I want for us. But when she did something Dad considered dangerous, Cal and I would spend the night at Grandma and Grandpa's house. The next day Mom and Dad seemed to spend all their free time together. They were kissing, or she was sitting on his knee and his arms were around her. Cal and I laughed about it, saying they must have settled their argument, but it wasn't until we wer
e much older that we learned how they settled their arguments."
After digesting his words she said, "You said when she had done something your dad considered dangerous."
"Yes."
"Like what?"
"Oh, like when she'd try to do too much and not get enough sleep. Or when she went and yelled at Cal's teacher one time. Or when she'd get a speeding ticket. That happened twice."
Alana nodded and thought again. "But did your dad spank her as hard as you spank me?"
"I feel sure he did. After I learned how they settled their arguments I thought back on it. She never sat much the next couple days afterward."
"He spanked her that hard?"
"When I started dating, Dad told me it's important to start a relationship the way you intend for it to go. Don't lead a lady on and then try to change the dynamic once the relationship has been established. I knew he was the head of his household and I knew I wanted to be, too, so we talked about that. He told me you're really not doing the lady you love any favor if you go light on her spanking because it won't have a lasting effect and you'll just have to do it over and over and over. But in the meantime you're risking her getting hurt each time she does it."
"But you said your mom got a speeding ticket twice."
"She did. Dad said he went easier on her the first time, thinking she understood how dangerous he thought speeding was. But when she did it again, he said he had to make sure she got the message that time."
"And she didn't get another speeding ticket?"
"Not that I know of. Although she was like you in a lot of ways. She would have really liked you."
"Why do you say that?"
"She had a stubborn streak in her very similar to yours. She occasionally did something requiring a second spanking because of that stubborn streak. But Dad always said if you make the spanking an occasion to remember, she's not as likely to risk a similar experience again."
"So you're saying a second spanking for the same thing will be even harder?"
"Of course. If the first spanking wasn't enough to make a lasting impression, shouldn't the second one be more memorable?"
"Not necessarily," she said very quietly. She was stiff and avoiding eye contact. He looked over at her and realized why. "Why not?" he asked, also quietly.
"Because I didn't know that before."
"But you knew the first time I spanked you for spending your down payment on shoes you didn't need that it was important that you save that money instead of spend it, didn't you?"
"I guess, but—"
"You guess?"
"Okay, yes, I knew, but—"
"But what, honey?"
"But I don't want another spanking. It hurts."
"It hurts because I love you, honey. I want to see you become a very good, very happy event planner."
"Knowing you love me helps a little," she admitted, "but it'll still hurt."
"Yes, it will. I'm not going to lie to you. But can you honestly tell me you haven't earned a spanking?"
"No," she admitted once again. "Is that why you brought me in here to talk, to spank me?"
"No. Actually, honey, it isn't. I figured we'd wait for that until we're back home again, at your place or mine, where we have more privacy."
"Thank you."
"Honey, I do plan on spanking you when you need it. But that's a private, intimate thing between us. I will not embarrass you by spanking you in front of other people or when others are around to hear it."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. One other thing. While we're talking about spankings, I feel I need to explain one thing. While I won't lighten up on my spankings, I do believe the punishment should fit the crime. Meaning, some spankings may not be as severe as others because the crime wasn't as severe."
"So if I do something that's just kind of dumb—"
He chuckled as he said, "If you do something we haven't talked about before and you may not have thought about it being dangerous before, your sweet little butt may not be as sore afterwards."
She nodded. "So like when I do something the second time, but didn't know beforehand that the second spanking would be worse, you'll go easier on me?"
"Nice try, my little brat, but no." He sighed. "Honey, I told you before that I won't lie to you, and I mean that. Unfortunately, this spanking you've earned is not going to be fun for either of us. But I love you and I can't just sit back and ignore it. That's not being the man I want to be for you and protecting you."
"That's not fair," she said.
"What's not fair?"
"When you say it like that it's hard for me to be upset about it. What you just said is really sweet."
"I don't mean it to be sweet, it's just the way I feel."
"I know. And the way you feel makes me feel good." She thought a moment, and with a mischievous grin said, "It makes my heart feel good. It makes my butt hurt."
He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, you little brat." He got serious then as he asked, "Now before we change the subject I have to ask, are you okay with my old-fashioned ideas about relationships?"
"Your old-fashioned ideas may be hard on my butt, but they also have old-fashioned benefits. Knowing someone cares about me enough to watch out for me makes me feel safe and secure, and you do special little things for me that make me feel cherished, just like I feel when you hold me after a spanking, so yes, I think I can live with your old-fashioned ideas."
"Good. Now let's talk about something more pleasant than spankings."
"Okay. But it's hard not to think about that."
"Why?"
"I've been worried about it, knowing it's coming. It's hard to not think about it."
"Honey, just try to put it out of your mind until we have more privacy. Let's just enjoy being together."
"I'll try," she said as she cuddled into his shoulder.
John tried to get her mind off of that subject, but Alana seemed to have trouble forgetting it. Finally he tried another topic and that seemed to get her attention. "You know, honey, after this is all over and we can go back home again, I think you're ready to take your driving test again."
She perked up immediately. "You do, really?"
"I do. Alana, I just told you not very long ago how important I think it is that we're honest with each other. I meant that. I will not lie to you. And I especially wouldn't say I think you're ready to get your driver's license if I didn't feel that way. Having a driver's license is a serious responsibility, but I think you're ready now. That whole ordeal with you driving when Kelli drank too much wine I know shook you up when you almost pulled out in front of a car, but it also seemed to have taught you a lesson. You've been doing much, much better at stop signs ever since then."
She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a big hug. "Thank you for helping me get ready to take my test again."
"Honey, you're welcome. You weren't ready to be driving by yourself yet, and I would have worried myself sick every time you were out alone. You've become a good driver now, though, and I feel much better about you being behind the wheel of a car."
She leaned against him again, thinking about how lucky she was. This wonderful man loved her!
* * * * *
That afternoon Lieutenant Berry came to the house to talk to John. They went to the office and the lieutenant closed the door. "First off," he said, "thank you for telling us about Nate Cooper's ex-wife. We went to talk to her and Officer Cooper was there."
"Oh, really?" John asked.
"Along with his attorney. It seems they were making arrangements for him to turn himself in. He claims he was dragged into this whole scheme against his will."
"Do you believe him?"
"I haven't decided for sure yet, but I think there's at least some truth in it. We're looking into his claims now. He claims he wanted no part of you being shot, so as soon as everyone was to run in and converge, he ran the other direction. He went straight to hi
s ex-wife, where he called his attorney. The attorney does confirm that, and says he took a written statement from Cooper, which he has, and they were in the process of finding out what happened at the stakeout. The attorney says he wasn't sure whom he should call for him to turn himself in, that it would depend on what happened."
"That makes sense," Jack agreed. "At least that part's believable."
"It is. I wanted to talk to you about what's in his written statement, John, because it might answer your question as to why go through the whole charade of a stakeout."
"Go ahead."
"Well, according to him, this would solve several problems."
"I know it would get rid of me, but what else?"
"They thought after your funeral the other three would be together on at least a few occasions, and an unfortunate accident could take care of them." Seeing John pale, he quickly went on. "But it seems there were a couple other reasons, as well. Apparently your partner was pretty adamant that you're a good man and deserved to look like a hero. You would be heralded a hero by all your fellow officers, who were going to say you were killed by the thieves, doing your job. Then the thieves got away when their attention and concern was on you, their fallen comrade. That would make the police department look good, too, caring about their fellow officer."
"What a comfort," John said sarcastically.
"They would also look good when it came out that they had traced the thieves here and uncovered their plot. By having this all go public they cold then announce that the thieves were using the store to bring the jewels into this area, where Jason Wilson, the store employee, retrieved them and turned them over to the gemologist."
"So they were planning on throwing the employee to the wolves and let him take the fall as being part of the ring of jewel thefts, but the police would come out smelling like a rose?"
"That's what Cooper claims. We're going to use that information to talk to Jason Wilson. If he knows they planned on abandoning him, he may start talking, tell us anything he knows."
"I hope he does. So what all has to happen before we can go home and get on with our lives? I mean, I know you have to find Joe, but what else?"