Second Skin

by Jessica Wollman

  "Gina Yonas?" Gwen cut in before I had a chance to answer. "Since when do you even know Miss Pep?"

  I shrugged. "I know her. We have PE together."

  "Okay, let me rephrase," Gwen said slowly, placing a hand on her hip. A glint of challenge flickered across her face. "Since when does Gina Yonas know you?"

  Gwen had a point. Gina Yonas and I had played

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  basketball, volleyball and soccer together for six straight months. But through all that dribbling, passing and kicking, we'd never actually exchanged a single word. And now she was lobbying to get me into pep squad. Even I found the situation slightly perplexing-and I was wearing the Skin. From where Gwen and Alex were standing it must have looked positively Twilight Zone.

  "I mean it, Sam," Gwen pushed. "Will you please tell us what's going on?"

  I blinked. "Nothing. I mean, she wants me to join pep squad. It's really not a big deal. I don't even know-"

  Gwen flashed me a serious cut-the-crap look. "Oh, please. Like you haven't noticed you're Woodlawn's 'flavah of the month'? I find that really hard to believe."

  "I'm s-sorry," I stammered as heat rushed into my cheeks. "I don't know-"

  "Leave her alone," Alex cut in. He turned to Gwen. "Why do you care so much anyway?"

  Gwen's face closed. "I don't. It's just weird, that's all."

  I stared at my feet and tried to send Alex a telepathic thanks.

  "So," Gwen said after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence. "Are you gonna join?"

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  I blinked, my thoughts too jumbled to form any sort of connection with Alex. "Join what?"

  Gwen rolled her eyes. "Pep squad, dummy. Are you gonna go all A-W-E-S-O-M-E on us?"

  Even though I knew she was being sarcastic, Gwen's words caused a little flutter kick in my stomach. I was excited. I couldn't help it.

  "I'm thinking about it," I mumbled. I glanced between Alex and Gwen. "Will you guys hate me?"

  Alex smiled. "Do what you want." He looked at Gwen, his face hard. "Right?"

  Gwen rolled her eyes again. "Whatever." She turned to me. "If you want to explore the world of the barely-there skirt, be my guest." She scooped her bag off the floor. "Listen, I gotta get dinner ready. I'll talk to you guys later."

  Watching her go, I felt a pang of anxiety followed swiftly by annoyance. Maybe I was a cheat and a thief, but did Gwen have to be so judgmental? It wasn't like I was making her join pep squad with me. Why did she care what I did? She had her cooking. Alex had his cars. Couldn't I have something too?

  And why were my friends the only two people in school who seemed completely impervious to the Skin? The rest of Woodlawn thought I could do no wrong.

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  Gwen and Alex don't care about popularity, I realized suddenly. The Skin can't touch them because they don't believe in what it has to offer.

  "I don't know why she's so mad," I muttered.

  Alex lowered the fiberglass to the workbench and grabbed a pair of safety goggles. "You know Gwen. She lives to get riled up about this stuff. She'll calm down."

  "I guess," I said.

  He looked at me. "Seriously, Sam, if you want to do this, you should." He smiled. "I'll even go to your first game."

  "Thanks," I said. I tried to picture Alex crammed into the bleachers, hooting with the rest of the fans, but my brain refused to cooperate. I guess some things are just too weird, even for the imagination.

  Twenty minutes later, I was walking home from Alex's house when my backpack started singing. I reached in and grabbed my cell phone. It was Gwen.

  "Look, about before," she said as soon as I answered. "I was way too harsh. Just because I have no interest in pep squad, I know. you think that stuff's important, so I'm happy for you. Really. I hope all your dreams come true, even if they are so painfully High School Musical."

  "Uh, thanks," I said, knowing this was the

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  closest thing to an apology I was ever going to get.

  "Seriously, Sam," Gwen continued. "I hope you get to do all the things you've been talking about forever. Like go to Spring Fling and win the crown or ribbon or wand-or whatever stupid, sexist trinket they dispense as a symbol of a girl's total self-worth. I really do."

  "As long as you're not mad," I said.

  "I'm not. I guess I'm just surprised. I mean, you realize this totally blows my high school theory."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I mean you're amazing," Gwen explained. I could hear her clanging pots around in the background. "I've always known it. And we both know Alex does too. I just can't believe all those idiot A-listers are finally wising up."

  "Uh, thanks," I said. "But just 'cause I'm joining pep squad or hanging out with new people...that doesn't make, I mean, nothing has to change, right? Not with us."

  "Oh, I'm not worried," Gwen said, maybe a little too quickly. She'd started to pound something and her voice was choppy and breathless. "I was never worried about that."

  My other line beeped.

  "I should go," I said. "Thanks for calling. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

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  As Gwen hung up, a part of me wondered if I should have stayed on the line with her a little longer. Just to make sure we were okay.

  Then the other line rang again and a shot of that new, who-could-it-be excitement coursed through me.

  Forget it, I told myself as I clicked over. There wasn't anything left to say.

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  NINETEEN

  " I 'm not so sure about this," I said, staring down at the two strips of navy and yellow fabric that comprised my new pep squad uniform. By some geometric feat, the ensemble was supposed to cover my body without triggering an arrest for indecent exposure, but I honestly couldn't see how.

  Don't panic, I thought. You suck at geometry.

  "Oh, stop," Jules said, forcing her freshly dyed and curled chestnut hair into a high pony-tail. "You're gonna look hot."

  "And don't worry," Gina squealed, giving my

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  arm a playful smack. "It's so comfy, you're gonna want to wear it all the time."

  I bit my lip to keep from saying "It's just perfect for my favorite nude beach" and settled for a smile instead.

  It was my first day as an official member of Woodlawn High's pep squad, and I couldn't shake the queasy feeling that was steadily climbing up my stomach and into my throat. All afternoon I'd focused on my clumsiness and complete lack of coordination, but now, staring down at my postage stamp-sized uniform, I realized I had even bigger issues.

  Skin or no Skin, my body was far from perfect. And the skimpy pep squad garb was hardly forgiving.

  I tried to console myself with the fact that everyone else on the squad would be wearing the same outfit. They had to feel equally self-conscious, right?

  No, I thought as my eyes swept the locker room, taking in nothing but toned abs, sinewy limbs and perky everything. I was surrounded by perfection.

  My gaze fell on a corner of the room where Kylie and Ella were quietly unpacking their gym bags. Kylie's long blond hair was pulled back in a neat twist as she and Ella talked softly, completely removed from the rest of the group. She

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  looked pale, I decided. And a little thinner than usual, though I couldn't be sure since she was still wearing the sweatpants she'd worn today.

  Since when does Kylie Frank wear sweatpants to school? I wondered.

  She turned her head and shot me a mean look, as if she'd heard my thoughts.

  My heart thumped. This was yet another aspect of pep squad I'd overlooked. Kylie Frank was on the team. She was, if memory served, a co-captain. Ever since her call, I'd managed to steer pretty clear of her. Other than homeroom, where I was protected by a close-clinging Jules, we didn't have any classes together. Even so, I knew she was still furious about the Skin. I saw it in her eyes whenever we passed each other in the hall-accusation mingled with frustration since, despite my social rise, she still ha
d no concrete proof.

  Well, it didn't matter anyway. Once I slipped on that rubber band of a uniform, it was all over. Every known flaw on my body-along with some I'd yet to discover-would be on display. I'd be the laughingstock of Woodlawn High. Cellulite trumped magic any day of the week.

  "I can't believe Kylie even bothered to show," Jules whispered, interrupting my thoughts. She raised her finger and drew an air circle by her head. "I swear, I think she's totally lost it."

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  "I know," Gina added. "You should have seen the fit she threw when we all voted you on the squad. It was so weird."

  "Uh, listen," I said, scooping up my things, "I'll meet you out there, okay?"

  Without waiting for a reply, I headed straight for the bathroom. Changing in the stall would delay my practically nude debut by-what, thirty seconds? Maybe a minute.

  It wasn't much, but I'd take what I could get.

  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I whispered to myself, ignoring the fact that, in my particular situation, the beholders happened to be perfectly sculpted.

  I changed quickly, then walked out and studied my reflection in the full-length mirror. The situation wasn't good. The pep squad uniform stretched uneasily over my body, bunching up around the hips, and the bandeau top had clearly been designed with the words heaving and bosom in mind. Unfortunately, my chest was heave-free.

  All in all, I wasn't looking too sexy. I was making my way back to my locker, contemplating whether or not to change back into my regular and blissfully concealing clothes when I heard a shriek followed by a painfully loud "What are you doing?"

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  The entire pep squad, myself included, raced into the bathroom, following the screams.

  Heidi Zapler was standing in front of an open stall, adjusting her skirt. A pink-faced Kylie Frank stood next to her.

  Adrienne rushed over and looped her arm around Heidi's shoulder. "What happened? Are you okay?"

  "She was watching me," Heidi said, pointing at Kylie. "While I-you know. I looked up and she was right there, staring in from the other stall." She shook her head in disbelief. "She must have been standing on the toilet or something."

  The room fell silent as everyone mentally sketched the scene.

  After a few seconds passed, Adrienne turned to Kylie. "Are you insane?"

  Kylie's eyes flickered over me, then away. And in that second, I knew what had happened. She had assumed I'd stepped into the stall to go to the bathroom, and hoped to launch a surprise attack just as I was wiggling out of the Skin.

  Only somehow she'd chosen the wrong toilet.

  "I knew you were crazy," Jules huffed, glaring at Kylie like she was the clearance bin at Kmart. "But I can't believe you're a Peeping Tom. That's really sick."

  "You could probably sue," Adrienne told

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  Heidi, who looked like she was trying really hard to cry.

  Ella stepped forward. "Okay, enough," she said. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all of this." She turned to Kylie, hopeful. "Right?"

  Kylie stared at her feet. She'd been caught red-handed, looking for the Skin. It belonged to her and she wanted it back. But there was really no way to communicate any of this without coming off as more insane than ever.

  I could've answered for her. Right then I could've stepped up and told the truth.

  But I didn't. I just stood there, waiting along with everyone else.

  "She can't be here," Kylie said suddenly, her eyes flashing over me.

  "What?" Gina said. "What are you even talking about?"

  Jules snickered. "Wow. Talk about psycho."

  "Not without trying out," Kylie continued, ignoring Jules. "You have to audition to join the squad."

  I held my breath as a dozen pairs of eyes turned to me-and my ill-fitting ensemble.

  "What's the big deal?" Adrienne said, Kylie's stalker moment temporarily forgotten. "We're all fine with Sam joining. Why waste time with a tryout?"

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  "Yeah," Gina agreed. She turned to me and smiled encouragingly. "You look great."

  "Told you," Jules said smugly.

  I smiled. I couldn't help it. I wasn't trying to bait Kylie, honestly. The whole scene was just too ridiculous. I looked about as cute as a hit-and-run. I almost wished Gwen were there. Almost.

  A muscle in Kylie's jaw flexed. "Well, I'm a captain and I say she has to audition."

  "Well, I'm a captain too," Gina countered, tossing her head back. "And I say it's fine."

  Kylie glared at me as Ella stepped forward. "Come on," Ella urged her friend. "It's just pep squad. Let it go."

  "Besides," Gina said, eyebrows arching into half-moons. "I don't think you're in any position to talk about the rules."

  Kylie pursed her lips. Her eyes were bright and shiny, and I could tell she was fighting back tears. "Fine. Have it your way." She turned on her heel and stalked out of the room.

  I watched the door swing shut behind her. Nobody said a word, and after a few more seconds, Ella turned and followed.

  "God, they're such drama queens," Adrienne said, even though both Ella and Kylie had, in my opinion, been pretty calm.

  "Well, I'm not standing anywhere near

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  Kylie," Heidi said, sniffing loudly to remind everyone of her traumatic experience. "It just doesn't feel safe."

  A few of the girls reached over to pat her arm.

  "Okay, people," Gina announced. "Let's head out. We're already behind schedule, thanks to little Miss Freak Show."

  I followed the group out to the gym, trying really hard not to replay the scene in my head and shoving my guilt into a tiny, easily ignored corner of my brain. More than anything, I felt relief. Okay, relief mingled with excitement. I'd narrowly escaped what could have been the end of a new and improved me, and had literally bared all to my new teammates. And they'd been completely supportive and accepting. No lectures on the importance of a carb-free diet, no personal trainer recommendations. Nothing.

  Maybe I don't look so bad after all, I thought as I grabbed a sweatshirt off the bench. I can be so hard on myself sometimes.

  Jules stretched her arm around my shoulder and smiled. "Listen, I have to ask you something," she whispered conspiratorially.

  My stomach twisted. Was it that obvious something was going on between Kylie and me?

  "Uh, sure," I said, trying hard to sound calm. "Go ahead."

  Jules leaned in closer. "So, um, where'd you

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  get that?" She pointed to the sweatshirt wrapped around my waist. "Is that Lands' End too? I didn't see it in the catalog."

  I smiled, grateful for the distraction. I didn't deserve it, but at the moment, I didn't really care.

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  TWENTY

  I 've never wondered about my death. I don't have a goth bone in my body. But as I stood in the middle of the gym, surrounded by human Slinkys, the mystery was solved. Pep squad was going to kill me.

  It was only fifteen minutes into practice and my muscles wouldn't stop twitching. My stomach felt like it was about to burst too.

  A quick glance around the room confirmed that I was the only one panting. The other pepsters looked rosy-cheeked and healthy as they cheerfully twisted their bodies into painful-looking shapes and angles. It was like they were

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  reenacting entire chapters from my geometry text.

  Talk about an obtuse angle, I thought, staring at Adrienne as she snapped her leg above her head in a move I was pretty sure qualified as torture in any country.

  "Lighten up! Brighten up! Sparkle and shine! The Wolverine guys are looking mighty fine!"

  Oh my. If the moves didn't kill me, the cheers would definitely do the job.

  Gina wove her way through the yawning, flexing bodies that lined the mats. She stopped directly in front of me.

  "Okay, ladies!" she shouted, clapping. She wasn't even the slightest bit winded. "Backbend time! Gotta limber up those
spines!"

  Everyone around me drifted gracefully to the mats. There were no agonized groans, no flying limbs, no Tourette's-style expletives.

  "How'd you do that?" I asked Jules, who was next to me, shaped like a giant C.

  "It's easy," she said, twisting her head around in a perfect imitation of the old Exorcist movie. "Just give it a try."

  I lowered my body to the mat, placed my hands above my head and curled my back. Then I tried to lift up. I got about two inches off the ground before I fell like a collapsing bridge.

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  I regret everything I've ever eaten, I thought, staring up at the ceiling. "Ow! Owwwww!"

  It took me a minute to realize that I wasn't the one shouting in pain. I scrambled to my feet and glanced across the room, where Adrienne was hopping up and down, rubbing her head. Kylie Frank stood next to her on the mat, looking apologetic.

  "I'm sorry," she said. "I just-I guess I lost my balance."

  Adrienne scowled. "How can you lose your balance doing a backbend?"

  Easily, I thought, though I bit my lip and kept quiet.

  Adrienne turned to address the room. "She rolled into me and knocked me down." She pointed an accusing finger at Kylie. "On purpose."

  "I did not!" Kylie cried. "I told you. I lost my balance." Her eyes met mine and narrowed slightly. "I was just having a little trouble focusing."

  Gina placed her hands on her hips. "Maybe you should sit this one out," she said to Kylie.

  Kylie shook her head. "But it was an accident," she insisted.

  Jules snorted. "Right. Like your Peeping Tom episode was an accident, too."

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  Kylie looked around the room, absorbing the hostile laughter and cold stares. Her gaze circled back to Gina. "Fine. You're right. I'll sit this one out. And the next one too. I quit."

  "You know what?" Ella said lightly, stepping forward to stand next to Kylie. "I've always hated pep squad." She smiled. "So I guess I quit too."

  Together, they turned and walked out of the room.

  "I can't believe they just deserted the team like that," Jules said after they were gone. "I mean, it's midseason."

  "Whatever. Ella pretty much sucked anyway," Gina said. "And as far as I'm concerned, Kylie's totally let herself go. I'm not surprised she fell. I mean, I don't think she works out at all anymore."