Alyssa's Choice

by Alicia White

  “Well, well, well. That was hot. Are you gonna share the details?” Alyssa knew she was being a little bit bitchy. She couldn’t seem to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. Watching both Hannah and Reese together was actually sweet, and she envied their relationship. Hannah sent her a sideways glance and a half smile. She had definitely come a long way since they met, no longer the shy wallflower. She was turning into an assertive woman. It was a nice change.

  “Yes, he is quite hot. I’m a lucky girl.” Hannah smiled broadly and went to work, helping to organize the store. She was a hard worker and really seemed to want to be a part of this venture.

  “I’m a very jealous girl. How’s the sex? I really, really want to hear all about it.” Alyssa walked away from the large front window toward the counter where Hannah was working. She ignored the glare she received from Bella. It was obvious she wanted to protect her baby sister.

  “Everything is perfect, absolutely amazing.” Hannah hummed to herself, and Alyssa couldn’t understand why she found her happiness so irritating. She was happy for her, amazed that Hannah had come into town and right away was able to click with Reese and Logan. It was the same story with Bella. She met her three men, Clint, Clay, and Cody, the night they all arrived in Coltmann County.

  How was it that they could meet men, fall in love, and have zero problems? Was there something wrong with her? Was she difficult, or was the issue really that her and Grant couldn’t get along? Would it be possible to start a relationship with only Justin? Hmmm, lots to think about.

  “Tsk, tsk, Hannah. I want details. I have no doubt that the sex is amazing. I want to know more.” Alyssa tapped her fingers against the countertop. She knew that she should just let it go and stop bullying her, but she wanted to know more. Bella told her on a regular basis about her relationship with Clint, Clay, and Cody, but hearing it from someone else might convince her to try it, or at least confront Grant and Justin together.

  “Fine.” Hannah stopped what she was doing and walked over to the couches they had set up in the middle of the store. Alyssa followed her and sat down. Jessica and Bella joined them, sitting back and relaxing.

  “I’m not sure where you want to me begin. I met both Reese and Logan when I drove into town, and since then I realized that I don’t want to be separated from them. Everything they do is perfect. I’ve never had so many orgasms in my life.” Hannah leaned back on the couch, smiling broadly, and Alyssa found herself feeling giddy. She wanted to have the attention of two men loving her, holding her, and kissing her. Only in her wildest dreams would that happen.

  “The only orgasms, isn’t that right, Hannah?” Bella piped up, shocking her. Wow, little Hannah was innocent.

  Hannah gasped and shot to her feet, shock written all over her sweet little face. “Jeez, Bella. Thanks. I wasn’t planning to tell everyone that little bit of information.” Alyssa couldn’t help herself. She laughed.

  “That’s so sweet. Your first dozen orgasms belong to Reese and Logan.” Jessica laughed a little as well. “Don’t worry about Bella. We all share information around here. We like seeing you happy. It’s refreshing. I think Texas is good for you.”

  “Really? We share information? Then you won’t mind telling us about what’s going on with Beau and Chase?” Alyssa asked, wanting to take the attention off Hannah. She really wanted to know what was happening with Jessica. “I’m curious as well. I saw you going to the garage yesterday while I was at the farmer’s market,” Hannah added, shocking Alyssa. There seemed to be lots of secrets. She wasn’t the only one keeping them.

  “That is none of your business. I’m not telling you anything about them. There isn’t anything to tell anyway.” Jessica got up from the couch and walked back behind the main counter, reorganizing the shelves. Alyssa almost felt betrayed and then realized that once again she wasn’t opening up and telling them about Grant and Justin.

  “Well, I guess you told us. You have totally shut us up. We no longer believe anything is happening.” Bella’s voice dripped with sarcasm. She made a face behind Jessica’s back, shaking her head. “I think Jessica’s in love—true, true love.” Her voice sang the last part, mimicking the priest’s voice from The Princess Bride, making them all laugh.

  Jessica turned around. “Not funny! Fine, you want to know something. I find them both to be completely irritating. I mean really, what normal man wants to share? No offense, Bella, Hannah.” She nodded at each of them, her face turning red, obviously embarrassed. “I don’t know. They are both so determined, and I keep telling them I’m not interested. I just don’t think we could make it work, you know, sexually.”

  Everyone stopped and stared at Jessica. A look of confusion passed over Bella’s and Hannah’s faces, but Alyssa knew the truth. They had talked about it in the past. She played along, though, acting as if she knew nothing. Jessica was the in-charge type, not only in life but also in the bedroom. She loved telling men what to do, and she expected to be worshipped like a queen.

  “I don’t want to talk about it. I already said too much. I like both Beau and Chase, really I do. I just don’t think we want the same things, end of story.” Jessica turned back around. Alyssa looked at both Bella and Hannah. Finally, she shook her head, signaling to Bella not to ask any more questions. They all went back to work, focusing on their various tasks. Alyssa felt guilty again. She shook her head. Why couldn’t she have kept her big mouth closed? They worked in almost an annoying silence, but at least they were getting a lot of work done. They planned a huge party for the store opening next week and still had lots to do.

  Most of Jessica’s lingerie filled the store, hanging on beautiful designer hangers. The sitting area was complete, with a minifridge filled with water, juice, and iced-coffee containers. They also set up a self-serve minibar that would hold hot tea, coffee, and various snacks. They wanted this to be a boutique and a place women could just enjoy relaxing and chatting.

  Love Song was turning into the place of their dreams. This had always been Bella’s dream, having the three of them work and live together, to be neighbors, to have families and children grow up together. It was a childhood dream really, a way to connect them, to stay together. This store was the beginning. Alyssa closed her eyes, thinking about the future. She needed to figure out how to deal with Grant and Justin. It was that spanking that changed everything. She put her head in her hands and moaned to herself. Damn it, what could she do?

  Bella’s voice jolted her back to reality, “Jessica, it’s obvious that you like Beau and Chase. I’m sure that if you talk to them and tell them what you want, they’ll make it happen. Most men want to please their women, I can’t imagine that they’re any different than Clint, Clay, and Cody.”

  “In most of my relationships I like being in charge, especially in the bedroom. I know that you kind of know that or at least had some sort of clue. Can you imagine either Beau or Chase letting me tie them to their bed? They’re both so alpha, you know. It would never happen. There is no way I even want to talk to them about it. And besides that, I don’t know if that’s even what I want to do.” Jessica let out a frustrated breath and gave Alyssa a side-glance, silencing her from adding anything.

  “What do you mean?” Bella gave her a very sympathetic look.

  “I want to be with them, I really do. I just don’t know how to make it happen. Every time I turn around, one or both of them are there. They make me nervous. I hate feeling that way. Unsure of myself. I’ve never been around a man that makes me question what I want—or I should say what I’ve always wanted.” She rubbed her hands down her face, looking almost defeated.

  “You should just confront them. You’re a strong, confident woman,” Alyssa added. She wanted to be part of the conversation, but at the same time, she didn’t want to say too much. Jessica had confided in her years ago about the things she enjoyed. She liked tying men up, she liked whipping them and demanding they pleasure her. She hadn’t shared the information with Bella because Bella always
seemed so naive and innocent just like Hannah.

  “Jessica, you are always so demanding, I’m surprised you haven’t confronted the situation. I have a feeling you’re hiding something, though.” Bella shook her head. “Unless of course, you like that they’re dominating. Is that what’s freakin’ you out?” She looked at Jessica, waiting for an answer.

  “What! No. That’s why I keep telling them both to stop. I don’t want to be with a dominating man, let alone two. Jeez.” Jessica threw herself onto the couch, pulling a pillow into her lap.

  Alyssa laughed, enjoying Jessica’s discomfort a little too much. “I don’t have the same issue. I like dominating men. I just don’t want to deal with either Justin or Grant. They are both so extremely different, and I don’t want to play any games.” It was true she didn’t want to play games. She did want both of them. She wanted Grant and Justin to love her, but for some reason she couldn’t look at Grant when she felt so humiliated.

  “I’ve seen you and Grant. He watches you. It’s obvious he’s interested. Same with Justin. He’s a cute puppy that follows you around town,” Bella told her.

  “I don’t want either of them following me around. Sometimes I want to go back home.” Everyone stopped talking and focused on her. Nobody spoke. The room was silent, and she felt uncomfortable. It was true. She had thought about going home but knew that it wouldn’t solve her problem. She would just be running away.

  “Alyssa, you want to go back to San Diego? Why? What did they do?” Bella looked at her with big, confused, pleading eyes.

  Before she could even respond, the front door opened and Clay walked in. He walked straight to Bella and pulled her into his arms, kissing her until she laughed and pushed at his shoulders. “I’m sorry to interrupt, ladies. I just wanted to pick Bella up and take her home. That way we can get ready for tonight.”

  Bella pulled back and looked up at Clay. “Where are we going?”

  “Tonight we’re all having dinner at the pub. Grant and Justin are grilling, and everyone is invited. Since we love hearing you sing, we thought karaoke would be a great idea. Everyone has to sing.” Clay grabbed Bella’s hand, practically pulling her out the door.

  “Can you take me to the ranch also? I’d like to shower and change, too. Alyssa, what about you, do you want to come with us?” Jessica got up and gathered her things, their conversation done for now.

  “No. I’m fine. I’ll lock up, and then Hannah and I can head over to the pub.” Alyssa gave a shaky smile. She stood up, moving around the store, until Bella and Jessica left. When the door closed, the silence was overwhelming, and Hannah waited for her by the door.

  “Alyssa, what’s going on? Really? I’m imagining that it must be serious. I know that we aren’t really that close, but I hope you know that you can say anything to me.” She babbled a little, her voice shaky.

  “Bella and I went to the pub the first night we got into town. I met both Justin and Grant that night. They were both so sexy and I wanted them right away. I ended up drinking a lot that night. I mean a lot. I cursed at Justin and then, of course, at Grant. I was jealous watching Bella with her men, and I threw a fit. Grant threw me over his shoulder that night and carried me into his office.” She took a deep breath, not ready to tell anyone what happened, but wanting to. She desperately needed advice.

  “Did, um…I mean, did Grant force himself on you?” Hannah’s face was priceless, and Alyssa felt guilty for making everything seem so dramatic.

  “No. No. No. Grant spanked me. Then he gave me the best orgasm of my life. After that, I was so horrified that I couldn’t even look at him as he followed me to my motel room. We haven’t spoken since, not really. Justin tries to get us talking, but I can’t seem to look at Grant.” Her shoulders slumped after saying it aloud. It really was silly.

  “Why not just tell him? I’m sure if you just say something, he would understand. How do you know that he isn’t talking to you because he feels guilty for spanking you? You’re just embarrassed because you enjoyed it. That’s not a bad thing. I love everything that Reese and Logan do to me. Be honest with yourself and do them the courtesy of telling them what you want,” Hannah told her.

  “Maybe you’re right.” Alyssa took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ve been so stuck on what I’m feeling that I haven’t even looked at Grant. Poor Justin. He’s been on double duty trying to convince me to go on a date. Please don’t tell Bella and Jessica about this. I’m not ready to share. Let’s go, I’m sure Reese and Logan are waiting for you at the pub. I’ll lock up and we can walk over.” Alyssa went to the back and got her purse. She walked out, ready to leave. She opened the door and held it for Hannah to walk through. She turned around and locked up the store.

  Alyssa headed down the street toward the pub with Hannah by her side. She stopped, turned, and hugged her, grateful for someone to tell. “Thanks. You are a wise woman. I never gave a second thought to what Grant might be feeling. I have something to think about now.” She grabbed her arm, and they walked together toward the pub and toward Grant and Justin. It was time to talk to them. It was time to confront the situation.

  Chapter 2

  They walked into the pub, and Alyssa felt nervous and out of place. She pulled Hannah closer, needing the support, needing someone to lean on. Grant and Justin were standing at the bar talking. They were both so beautiful it astounded her. Men weren’t usually called beautiful. They were usually referred to as ruggedly handsome, but looking at them both, they were perfection. She felt lacking. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that they were interested in her.

  “Everyone should be here soon. We were just gonna set up a large table over toward the wall. We could use some help.” Justin walked out from behind the bar and started pushing tables together. Alyssa felt like they had interrupted their conversation. Justin seemed nervous. He moved around the pub, his motions jerky as if his muscles were all flexed and he couldn’t fully relax.

  Hannah pulled away from Alyssa and walked over to where Justin was working. She stood there alone, feeling a bit awkward and tense, all her senses on alert. Justin and Hannah were talking quietly. She couldn’t quite make out what they were saying.

  Alyssa turned her attention back toward Grant, who stood still, leaning against the bar, watching her closely. He had a strong jaw with clean, angular lines. It looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days, or it could’ve been the lighting. She started to fidget, pushing her hair behind her ears, wondering if she should’ve looked in a mirror before leaving the store. Was her outfit okay? Should she have reapplied her makeup or changed her clothes to something other than a plain pair of jeans and a T-shirt?

  Grant’s eyes flared. He gave her a slight grin, and Alyssa swallowed the lump in her already-dry throat. He had a way of looking right through her, making her feel weak and needy. She felt her knees shaking and wanted to sit down, but she couldn’t seem to move. It was like her feet were glued to the floor.

  Instead of letting the internal self-destructive path continue and allowing Grant to have power of the situation, Alyssa took her power back. She stood straight, squared her shoulders, and gave him a dangerous look in return. At her obvious change in composure, Grant arched his eyebrow and stood straighter. He crossed his arms over his broad chest, stared her straight in the eye, smirked, and moved his eyes down her body, lingering on her intimate places. She felt as though he was trying to intimidate her, trying to show her he was in fact in control. The truth was she wanted to let him have it, and that thought scared her more than anything else did.

  Justin walked in between them on his way to the bar and interrupted her staring contest with Grant. He shook his head, gaining her attention. “Reese and Logan decided to call it an early night and take Hannah home.”

  “Oh.” Alyssa finally took her eyes off Grant and looked down, feeling uncomfortable. Hannah being there was a buffer of sorts. She felt like she could turn at any moment and find her if she needed support, and now she
was gone.

  “Don’t panic, Alyssa. You won’t be stuck with the two of us for long. I’m sure any minute now Bella and Jessica will come to your rescue.” Hearing those words from Grant surprised her, more so because of the venom behind them. It felt like a slap, a shocking reality of the course of their relationship. They never seemed to make any progress even though she desperately wanted to deny what he was saying. It was painful because she knew that he was as affected as she was. He proved it more so when he turned and walked toward the back of the pub and into his office, shutting the door firmly behind him.

  “Alyssa, do we really make you that uncomfortable? I really thought the three of us could have something special, but you and Grant both are so difficult.” Justin shook his head and went to the back as well. He sounded defeated, and she wanted to run over and hug him, to stop him and tell him how she was feeling. She felt like such a coward. She was letting them both get away. What was wrong with her? “You’re always so difficult, Alyssa. Why can’t you just be normal? Why do you act so weird?” Her mother’s words taunted her now. She felt frustrated, and she wanted to hide more than anything else at that moment.

  Alyssa turned around and walked out the front door of the pub. She didn’t know where to go. She just needed to breathe, and being that close to Grant and Justin, she felt claustrophobic. The warm Texas air hit her. She took a deep breath and headed down the street. She just needed to be alone and to think of what she should do.

  * * * *

  Grant closed the door to his office. He hadn’t meant to slam it, but his emotions were ruling him. Everything had changed with her. When he first saw her she was so powerful, so full of energy and fire. Now she was timid. The vixen was hiding. He sat in his comfortable office chair, leaned back, and ran that night through his mind. Had he approached the situation wrong? Had he read her signs incorrectly?