Alyssa's Choice

by Alicia White

  He walked for hours, until the sky was dark. He didn’t stop until he was standing in front of the guesthouse where she had lived. The lights were on, and he wondered if Jessica was inside. Was she waiting for Alyssa? Did she know where she was? He walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.

  “Hey, are you okay? No offense, but you look like hell.” She was never shy with her words. He knew that already. She was a no-nonsense kind of woman, and he respected that about her.

  “Where is she?” Those seemed to be the only words he could get out. His throat was dry. He felt too raw now to elaborate.

  “I don’t know. I’ve tried calling her so many times.” She shook her head, looking genuinely sad. He understood her pain. He felt it himself.

  “Is it true?” The look on her face said it all. What Clint said was true. Jessica had found a pregnancy test, and it belonged to Alyssa, his Alyssa. He turned to leave. He wasn’t sure why he had come to this house in the first place. Maybe a small part of him had wanted to find her here.

  “Wait. Grant, I’m sorry. I know this must be hard on you, but I really need you to not say anything to Alyssa when she comes back.” He could hear the strain in her voice, but it did nothing for his temper.

  “Not say anything? She left town. She left Justin and I to run back to California. She’s pregnant with my child, and you don’t want me to say anything. Are you crazy?” He stared at her, not understanding how she could possibly ask him to not confront Alyssa. It made no sense.

  “It’s her secret to tell, Grant. I’m as worried as you are. She’s my best friend, and I have no idea if she’s okay or not. I carry my phone everywhere, hoping and praying that she’ll call me.” Grant rubbed his face hard. He could feel a headache starting.

  “I know you love her. I love her, too.” He stopped and stared at her. He loved her. “It’s not just her I’m worried about.” He didn’t want to say the words or ask the question, but he had to know. “Would she have an abortion?” There, he had finally said it aloud. He realized in that moment that he wouldn’t be able to forgive her or move forward if she had.

  “I don’t know,” she whispered. He watched as tears filled her eyes.

  “Justin and I are going to talk to her when she gets back into town. I won’t keep my mouth shut, and I won’t give her anymore space. I tried to be respectful and wait for her to come to us, but I’m done,” he told her as he walked down the step. He knew it sounded like a threat, and maybe it was.

  “I understand.” He heard her words before closing the door. He wondered if she really did understand. He walked back toward town, even though he would rather not see Justin at this moment. He knew one thing was for sure. They needed a plan. He took a deep breath and knew exactly what he was going to do. Alyssa wouldn’t know what hit her. She would never get space again.

  * * * *

  Alyssa woke up at three in the morning. She had set the small table alarm clock the night before. She stretched and moved quickly, wanting to get back to Coltmann County. She knew her friends were worried. She kept checking her voice mailbox. She planned to call them when she was on the road headed back. She climbed into the car once more and headed to the 15 north, out of town.

  She felt a little lighter this time, and she really wanted to talk to Grant and Justin, but she didn’t want to have the conversation over the phone. They deserved more respect than that, and so far, she hadn’t shown them any. She wasn’t proud of her actions, but she knew it was time to face the music and deal with the future. She had been running all her life, and she was tired.

  She had been on the road a few hours when she grabbed her phone and called Jessica. She only had to wait for two rings.

  “Alyssa? Oh, God. Alyssa, are you okay? What’s going on?” She was rambling, and Alyssa knew that she had been seriously worried.

  “I am now. I’m sorry that I worried you. I should’ve stayed and told you what was going on. Hell, I should’ve told everyone.” She didn’t have an excuse. She had been weak.

  “I found the test on the bathroom floor. I wasn’t going to say anything until you got here, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve been so freakin’ worried. How could you just leave like that? My God, I’ve been sick! I’ve been dying inside not knowing what was happening.” She could tell that Jessica was crying, and guilt ate her.

  “I wasn’t even thinking when I left. I just wanted to run away. I needed some time to think. Does everyone know, about the test?” She waited, her heart in her throat, wondering if Grant and Justin found out.

  “Yeah, I waited almost a whole day and then I went to Bella’s. I knew that she had to know something, but you didn’t tell her the whole story. She’s been really upset, you know. We all have been. Grant came over here last night, poor guy. He looked like hell. He knows, and he asked about the ba…er…pregnancy, so I’m assuming Justin knows as well.” Damn, her plan was shot. She was hoping to talk to them first. Oh well, she didn’t have any other choice. She needed to go home. There wasn’t any other place she could run to.

  “Alyssa?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry. Just thinking.” She was silent another minute, trying to figure out what to do. She had a whole day of driving, though, so she had plenty of time to think.

  “Are you…are you pregnant still? Either way, I hope you know that I’m here for you. I would never judge you. You’re the most amazing person I know.” Alyssa believed her. They had been friends for so long and shared so many secrets.

  “Yeah, I am.” She started crying quietly, blinking her eyes rapidly so that she could still see the road. “I was just so scared to tell them. I don’t want them to feel like I’m trying to trap them. I care about them too much.”

  “They care about you. Hell, Grant loves you. He told me that last night. I don’t understand what your issue is. You want them. They want you. What’s the problem?” That was the question of the hour. What was her issue? She was so scared about the what-ifs that she ran away. That was her MO, and she knew it, too.

  “I don’t want them to hate me. Nobody wants to feel trapped, and that’s exactly what’s happened.” Alyssa continued to drive, feeling dread instead of excitement. They knew. Both of them already knew. Luckily, she had time. She could find a little place and still run the store, maybe even take the baby to work with her.

  “Stop panicking, calm down. You aren’t alone. You have Bella, Hannah, and I. We will help you. I’d bet anything that both Grant and Justin are going to want to be a part of your life, and the baby’s. You have time, so just take a deep breath and focus on driving. When did you get on the road?”

  “I started about three. I’ll probably stop and stay at a motel. I should be there sometime late tomorrow night depending on what time I leave in the morning.”

  “Okay. I’m going to the store today. I’ll be here waiting for you. Just relax. Everything is going to be fine.” That was easy for her to say. Jessica wasn’t pregnant, and she wasn’t sick to her stomach and scared to see two men who could easily ignore her. When did her life become so complicated?

  “Yeah. See you later. Please tell the girls that I’m okay. I didn’t mean to make anybody worry. I just needed some time.”

  “Did you get the answers you needed?” The question was vague, but she knew that Jessica was asking about her family without actually saying those exact words. Did she get the answers she needed? Not really. Her family was still the exact same, and she didn’t want to end up stuck in a broken-down apartment building raising a kid she hated. She wouldn’t let her child suffer the same fate she had. Nope, she was going to be a better mom. She would love her baby no matter what, and she would be nice and work with Grant and Justin. They could be friends.

  “I’m good now.” She was going to be okay. She knew that this situation might be challenging, but in the end, it would work out. She just needed to change her attitude.

  “Okay, see you soon.” Jessica disconnected the call, and Alyssa put her p
hone down. She cranked up some music and drove down the highway.

  Alyssa had always loved driving. She felt relaxed being behind the wheel. It was weird to think that she could just leave Coltmann County and her friends and go to California, to her so-called family. What had she been thinking? That was the question, except that she hadn’t been thinking at all. She had been scared. That was her only excuse, but now that seemed so ridiculous. She should’ve run to her friends, the people who had always been there for her.

  She was embarrassed by her behavior, but now she needed to rethink things and try to figure out how to talk to Grant and Justin.

  “I’m sorry for leaving the way I did after the amazing sex, but I was scared you were going to kick me out.” She started practicing what she would say when she saw them. “Surprise, I’m pregnant, but wait, you already knew that.” She groaned. They already knew. She was driving back now. She had changed her mind, but it didn’t matter. They would probably still judge her. “I was just scared, but now everything is great. Can we start over?” That sounded lame. Somehow, she knew that she was going to have to grovel a bit. Justin might be easier to get through to, though, and then maybe he could help her with Grant.

  It was dark out, and Alyssa couldn’t believe that she had been driving for fifteen hours. She kept pushing herself, though, not wanting to stop. The long drive was starting to wear on her, but she turned the music on louder and rolled down the windows. The cool air washed over her, and she felt reinvigorated to push forward. She wanted to get as close as possible before stopping for a few hours of shut-eye.

  Finally, she started dozing off, her eyes closing and jerking open as she drove down the deserted highway. She looked around for a motel, but there didn’t seem to be anything around. She knew she couldn’t continue to go on, though, so she pulled off the highway and found a small area to park. She locked the doors and leaned the chair back. She grabbed a sweater out of her luggage and covered her shoulders. She tried to get comfortable on the seat but knew that she wouldn’t really be able to get a good night’s sleep. She only needed a few hours, though, to rest up before getting back on the road.

  Chapter 11

  Jessica had been working for a few hours when Bella walked in the door holding Cody’s hand. It was like this every morning, one of her men dropping her off and kissing her good-bye. It was so irritating that Jessica looked away, not wanting to see the public display of affection. She wasn’t like most women. Romance didn’t work for her, and she wasn’t really into foreplay, at least not the type most other women enjoyed. She liked dishing out a little pain before she wanted to be taken hard. She wasn’t the lovey-dovey type, so watching Bella baby-talk her men was most certainly a turn off.

  When the bell jingled, Jessica turned around, glad that Cody had left the store. They had a “no man” policy, so she knew she was going to have to reiterate the rules once more. “Bella, no men means no men. Clint, Clay, and Cody, they are men. Therefore, they aren’t allowed in the store.”

  “I know they’re men.” She giggled, and Jessica fought to not roll her eyes. “Fine. I can tell you’re in a mood today, so I’ll drop it. I won’t let them walk me inside anymore. Okay?” Jessica just nodded. She knew she was being a little meaner than normal, but she couldn’t seem to help it. She was frustrated, overly sexually frustrated, and there was no way to solve her problem. She needed to wait until Alyssa was back and settled and the store was running smoothly before she could escape for a kinky weekend. Her goal was to get everything taken care of over the next few weeks, and then she would leave for a little bit.

  “I wanted to let you know that Alyssa will be coming into town soon. She called me from the road this morning.”

  “Really?” Her face lit up, and Jessica knew how much she had been worrying lately.

  “Yeah. Listen, we need to give her some space and deal with things her way. I’m hoping that Grant and Justin will give her a little bit of space to think when she gets into town.” After her conversation with Grant, she knew he wouldn’t be backing off anytime soon. The whole issue was screwed up, and she was secretly glad that she didn’t have a man or two in her life even though Beau and Chase bugged the hell out of her regularly.

  “Fine but only for a little while. She can’t stay locked up in the guesthouse forever. You do realize that Grant and Justin aren’t going to disappear, right? I really think that they love her, and if Alyssa would just open up a bit, it could work out.” She completely agreed with Bella. Jessica knew that Alyssa had some serious issues that she needed to let go of. Otherwise, she wouldn’t ever have the relationship she deserved. Instead of keeping Alyssa secluded from Justin and Grant, maybe she needed to figure out a way to make her confront the issue.

  Ideas starting forming in her mind, and she realized that she needed to go and have another chat with those men. She shouldn’t get involved, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “I need to run some errands. I’ll see you later.” Jessica grabbed her keys and headed out of the shop. She knew that time was running out, and she needed to get everyone on board before it was too late.

  She marched down the street, smiling and nodding to all the people she passed. She was becoming a fan of this town. At first, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to fit in, but after a short while she realized that this place was exactly where she wanted to be. She stopped in front of the pub, Spread Eagle, and stared at the door, wondering if her plan was a good idea after all.

  “Hey, angel. Everything okay?” She closed her eyes and shook her head. How was it possible that Beau and Chase found her so easily? Did they sit outside their shop and wait for her to pass by? It felt like they were stalking her. Everywhere she went one or both of them would show up.

  “I’m fine. I’m just rethinking my plan before I talk to Grant and Justin.”

  “Grant and Justin? What’s your plan?” Chase asked, and she could tell he was a little jealous. That didn’t sit well with her. He had no right to be jealous, and their conversations always turned into battles that both pissed her off and turned her on. She couldn’t deal with that today, though. She was thinking about Alyssa.

  “Yup, I’ve got a plan. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m needed inside.” She didn’t spare him a glance. She needed to stay ice cold. She didn’t want him to think that there was a chance they could be together. It wouldn’t happen. They were both people that liked to be in control. It couldn’t work, even short-term.

  She reached for the door, but Chase beat her to it, opening the door wide. She took a deep breath, preparing for a short battle of wills. Instead of giving in, she smiled at him and went inside. They could fight it out later. “I’m proud of you,” he said, and the words irritated her. They were always trying to make her more girly, more feminine, to fit into their lives. She wasn’t what they were looking for, though, and she kept telling them, sometimes on a daily basis.

  “My big, strong man, whatever would I do without you? There is no possible why that little ole me would be able to open that big, bad door without you being here.” She fluttered her eyelashes and coated her voice in a fake Southern accent. He scowled at her, and Jessica couldn’t help herself. She stuck her tongue at him.

  She moved past him, finished with the small battle. She jerked and screamed when she felt Chase’s hand come down hard against her ass. She turned to face him, ready to put all her cards on the table, and noticed that it was Beau who had spanked her. “Jackass!” She really was starting to hate these boys, and she was sick of playing this stupid little game.

  “Brat!” He yelled back, and she wanted to smack the smirk off his perfect face.

  “Damn it, Beau Austin. I don’t have time for this. I have a plan, and I have to speak with Justin and Grant.” She turned away and went to the bar fuming mad. They were always doing this to her. Did they ever work? She looked around and finally spotted both the men she was looking for huddled in the back corner of the pub. She didn’t waste any time. She went over to the
m and interrupted their conversation.

  “Jessica, what’s up? Everything okay?” Justin asked, and she sat down next to them, not bothering with any small talk.

  “Yeah, I’m great. Listen, I’ve been thinking, and I have a plan.” She smiled at them both.

  “What’s your plan, darlin’?” She hated being called darlin’, and Chase knew that. She thought he had left. She scowled and looked up over her shoulder at him. Both Chase and Beau were standing behind her, their large muscular arms crossed over their equally impressive chests. Damn it, they were both too sexy. It should be illegal to look as good as they did. She shook her head, trying to think with her brain instead of her hormones. She definitely needed a vacation.

  “It’s none ya,” she said with a smile.

  “None ya what?” Beau asked.

  “None ya damn business.” The looks on their faces said it all, and she started laughing. She couldn’t seem to help herself. They both looked utterly pissed, but she couldn’t seem to care.

  “Oh, baby. You push and push, but you should be careful because one of these days, we’re gonna push you right back.” She wasn’t sure if that was a threat, although it sounded like one. She shrugged her shoulders, and they both walked off. She watched them leave. She couldn’t seem to peel her eyes away from their tight asses. This moment reminded her of a saying she loved. She hated to see them go, but she loved to watch them leave. Too true.

  Grant and Justin cleared their throats loudly, and she turned around, arching her eyebrow. It was obvious that they caught her ogling their friends.

  * * * *

  Justin watched as Jessica’s face turned pink right before his eyes. It was so obvious that she had a thing for both Beau and Chase, but for some reason she preferred to push their buttons instead of just admitting it. He didn’t understand women. Case in point, they were sitting here trying to figure out what to do about Alyssa when she came back into town.