Sissy

by Madelyn Bennett Edwards

  Their daughter, Jessica, who was fifteen, had blonde hair like her mother and blue eyes that were shaped like sideways teardrops. When she smiled, her nose wrinkled, and her eyes turned to slivers, like wings on a bluebird. Her hair was in a ponytail that hung halfway down her back, tied with a wide navy bow. She was a couple of inches taller than me—everyone was taller than me—and she was very slim and flat-chested, like an athlete. I asked her if she was into sports, and she said she ran track and played softball. But she was feminine and had dainty features, small hands, and a chiseled nose.

  I liked both of the Morris kids right away and thought about how much Lilly would like them.

  "Have you guys met my niece, Lilly, yet?" I looked at the teenagers, who shrugged their shoulders and eyed their dad.

  "No, not yet, but we should have her over one evening. She's at LSU, right?" Robert looked at Brenda, who smiled and nodded.

  "Yes, she's a freshman. She graduated from high school a year early, though, so she's your age, Bobby."

  "You wouldn't be matchmaking, now would you, Sissy?" Robert laughed at me.

  "Nope. I'm just saying…!" I smiled, and everyone started to laugh. I stayed for dinner of lasagna, salad, and hot rolls, plus a bottle of red wine. By the time I left, I was a bit tipsy, and was glad I didn't have but a few blocks to drive to the Capitol House Hotel downtown. Of course, I used my dad's credit card to pay for the room.

  *

  The rector at the front desk of Lilly's dorm buzzed her room, then told me I could go down the hall to #142. She was on her bed crying, and jumped into my arms as soon as I walked through the door.

  "What is it, baby girl?" I held her and whispered words of encouragement, but she just cried and cried. When the sobs finally died down, I got her to wash her face and go with me to get lunch at a local seafood restaurant a couple miles off-campus. We stirred sugar into our iced tea and waited for shrimp poor-boys.

  "I hate it here." She stared at her tea as she squeezed lemon into it.

  "It's only been a week. What do you hate?" I tried to reach for her hand, but she pulled it away.

  "I hate everything except my classes. I like them. I like going to school. I like studying. I like my professors. But I hate living in the dorm with giddy girls who only care about dates and drinking and going out every night." She finally looked at me, her eyes narrowed to slits, her forehead wrinkled.

  "Tell me about it."

  "Well, to begin with, none of the girls in my suite ever study. They rarely go to class. They stay up late talking on the phone, giggling, trying out different make-up. Stuff like that. Our phone rings at all hours." She took a breath and a sip of tea. I listened. "When I get back from class, they are just waking up. I can't study in my room. I have to go to the library way across campus, and I'm afraid to walk back alone at night."

  "Have you told your mom, I mean Susie, about this?"

  "No. I've told Marianne a little, but I don't want to bother Susie. She has her hands full with Dad and her own recovery." She took another sip of tea. Our waitress brought lunch, and we inhaled the smell of fresh-baked bread and fried gulf shrimp. I didn't say anything because I wanted her to talk.

  "I want to be a doctor. I'm serious about college." She took a bite of her sandwich and stared at me as though I should understand her dilemma.

  "Of course you are. And you should be."

  "Look. I'm younger than everyone here. I can't get in bars, even if I want to." She put both her hands on the table, leaned forward, and spoke in a low voice so no one would hear. "I don't want to date fraternity boys who think you should have sex with them. That's not what I want. I want to go to my classes, learn, study, and make good grades. My roommates think I'm a geek."

  "Do you want to transfer to another college?"

  "I don't think it would be different anywhere else." She sat back in her chair and looked deflated. "I mean. I like school. I just don't like living in the dorm."

  A light went off in my head. What if I were to get an apartment in Baton Rouge and Lilly could live with me. Susie would probably pay the rent, and I could take some classes at LSU. I didn't mention it to Lilly because I didn't want her to be disappointed if I couldn't make it happen. Meanwhile, I needed to introduce her to some other people; kids who were serious about school; kids like Bobby and Jessica Morris.

  We chit-chatted for a couple hours. I mentioned that there were probably other serious students on campus, and she should be on the lookout for them. "Pay attention to those in your classes who stay late and don't rush out of the classroom. Also, in the library. Those who spend a lot of time there are probably serious."

  "Good idea. I hadn't thought about looking outside of my dorm."

  "My mother used to say girls went to college to get an MRS Degree." I laughed.

  "That's about right. Sounds like my roommates."

  "Yeah. I think that's why my mother went to college." I wiped the catsup off my mouth and took a sip of tea. Lilly was laughing hard, and I thought how much better she seemed from a few hours before. "Are you coming to New Orleans this weekend?"

  "Yes. Will you be there?" She beamed at me.

  "Yes, but I'll be in Baton Rouge another couple days. Maybe we can get together again?"

  "Okay, yes. I'd like that, Sissy."

  The next afternoon, I picked Lilly up at her dorm and we drove to Spanish Town. I parked across from the gated home I'd been to Monday night.

  "Is this where Mr. Morris lives?"

  "Yep. Do you remember meeting him last year?" I turned the ignition off and reached for my purse.

  "Yes, and his wife, Miss Brenda. Very pretty."

  "They love your parents, and they've been wanting to get together with you, but didn't know how to get in touch." I opened my car door and stepped into the street. Lilly came around, and we held hands as we crossed. I rang the doorbell and Jessica opened the door.

  "Miss Burton. It's nice to see you again." Jessica smiled and swung the door wide so we could walk in.

  "Please, Jessica, call me Sissy."

  "Okay. If you'll call me Jessie." She laughed and was charming in her fifteen-year-old way.

  "This is Lilly. She's my niece." I put my arm on Lilly's shoulder and pulled her into the room.

  "Hi. So are you Susie's daughter?" Jessica closed the door and stood facing Lilly.

  "Yes, and Rodney's."

  "Awesome. We love your parents." Jessica took Lilly's hand, and I walked behind them through the living room and dining room and into the kitchen. Brenda was behind the island with a cooktop in it. There were stools all around, and after we exchanged greetings, we sat around the island while Brenda prepared supper.

  Beyond the kitchen was the solarium where the baby grand piano sat in front of the sliding doors that spanned the entire back of the house. When Brenda declared everything was done and she could put things on warm until dinnertime, we walked through the opened glass doors into the courtyard. Lilly and Jessie sat at the round table with the umbrella, and Brenda pointed to a lounge chair where I sat. She sat in one next to it and put a bottle of wine on the small table between our chairs.

  We talked about Susie and Rodney, and Brenda said she would come to New Orleans in the next couple of weeks to visit the patients. I told her to let me know when, and I would make it my business to be there, too. "Maybe we could have lunch."

  "That would be great!" Brenda took out her calendar and started to flip pages.

  "Would you be bringing the kids with you?" I took a sip of my wine and put the glass down on the table.

  "If they want to come. Once they are teenagers, they pretty much decide what they want to do on weekends." She grinned at me as though I should know what she meant, but I was probably closer in age to the teenagers than I was to Brenda. I told her how miserable Lilly was in the dorm, and that I was going to talk to Sissy about renting an apartment so I could get her out of there.

  "Lilly's a
serious student," I spoke softly so Lilly didn't hear me. "There's too much disruption and partying going on in the dorm."

  "Oh. She should stay here." She sat up in her chair as though a thought had just occurred to her. "We have plenty of room, and I'll bet Jessie would love to have her."

  "You need to talk to Susie about that." I was a bit surprised at Brenda's immediate invitation for Lilly to stay with them.

  Robert and Bobby came into the courtyard at about six o'clock. Robert said he'd gone to Bobby's football practice and drove him home. Robert hugged Lilly and introduced Bobby, who joined Lilly and Jessie at the table where they were playing dominoes. Robert kissed Brenda, and she poured him a glass of wine. The three of us went inside and sat around the kitchen island. After a few minutes, I got up and went to the piano. I couldn't resist playing a baby grand.

  I played, Billie Jean, then Beat It, both by Michael Jackson. The three kids came inside and stood around the piano while I finished the second song. They asked me if I could play certain songs, and we all sang, Total Eclipse of the Heart, and Never Gonna Let You Go. I banged out, What's Love Got To Do With It, but didn't know all the words, yet I sang every word to Time After Time, and Girls Just Want to Have Fun, by Cyndi Lauper.

  Lilly, Jessie, and Bobby loved the music, and all laughed and tried to sing along. Brenda broke up the party by calling us to the table she'd set in the courtyard. We ate shrimp in a cream sauce mixed with pasta. I was impressed with how adult-like the Morris kids were; very much like Lilly. And the three seemed to hit it off famously.

  On the way back to campus after such a fun evening, Lilly was happy and talkative. She said she really liked Bobby and Jessie, and felt comfortable at their house.

  "What did y’all talk about while you were playing dominoes?" I stared out the front windshield and tried to remember what it felt like to be sixteen.

  "We talked about school. Bobby is taking two college classes at his high school." Lilly sat sideways on her seat, staring at the side of my face. Her voice was upbeat, and she seemed excited. "He says he's going to be a lawyer like his dad. He's very serious about school. Jessie is, too. She wants to be a journalist. She says she might go to law school, too, because journalists who have law degrees have an edge."

  "So you liked them?" I was close to her dorm and began to look for a parking spot.

  "Oh, yes. I like them a lot—more than any of these snobbish college kids. I wish I was still in high school." Her voice fell flat, as though she were remembering something that made her sad.

  "Do you miss New York?"

  "I miss Daddy." She became pensive and sat with her head bent, her hands folded in her lap. "And I'd like to visit Mama, even if she doesn't know me. But I'm very happy with Susie and Rodney."

  "It must be great to have two moms and two dads." I parked the car, put it in park, and kept the engine running.

  "It is, but when I'm with one, I miss the others." Her voice was riddled with tears that she held in check, and I was amazed at how quickly she could go from happiness to depression in a few minutes.

  "I'll take you to New York when you want to go. We can talk to Susie about it this weekend, okay?" I turned the motor off and reached for the handle of my door.

  "Yes. Let's do that." She turned towards me and had a small smile. "Maybe we could go during the Thanksgiving holidays?"

  "Sure. Let's see what Susie says." I started to open the door.

  "You don't need to come in with me." She put her hand on my shoulder, and I turned towards her. "And, Sissy. Thanks. You're an awesome aunt." She bent over and kissed me on the cheek, and before I could say anything, she was out the door and across the street. I watched her walk into her dorm. She had more of a lilt to her step than she'd had over the past couple of days, and I hoped she could stay positive until we worked things out.

  *

  Susie's room seemed like Grand Central Station when I arrived at the end of the week. Miss Bessie and Mr. Ray had been there for a few days and had driven Marianne's Datsun wagon down to New Orleans. Lilly was excited about everything: having her grandparents and her aunts with her, moving into a house near the hospital, and seeing Rodney get better every day. She went from Susie's room to Rodney's to the house on Jules Avenue all day.

  I heard the jangle of bracelets and the clicking of stilettos when Mama emerged from the elevator and started down the hall to Susie's room on Tuesday. John Maceo, her live-in beau, was with her. He stood in the corner of Susie's room while Mama acted like mother-of-the-year. She kissed and hugged me, then hovered over Susie, gave her sips of Sprite, and read a poem from the small book by Emily Dickinson that she’d pulled from her leather Gucci handbag.

  "We're staying at the Roosevelt Hotel in the city. Here's the phone number if you should need me." She handed a card to me, kissed Susie on the forehead and me on the cheek. "I'll be back tomorrow, and we'll have a wonderful visit." The next day I wasn't there when she returned without John. Susie told me that Mama sat in the tall chair next to her bed and read from Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass. Thankfully she only stayed an hour or so, then jingled her way back to John and some fancy dinner at some fancy restaurant downtown.

  "I was immediately off to visit Rodney." Susie laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh with her.

  Susie was ready to be free to go to Rodney's room on her own, without someone pushing her in a wheelchair, which Marianne, Lilly, and I took turns doing—back and forth. She had devised her own therapy for Rodney: a particular speech therapy, a sit-up-straight therapy, a let me pump your legs that you don't feel therapy, and the all-important how to hold a spoon therapy. She was convinced he would get well sooner if she were with him more.

  Susie's determination to be normal and to make Rodney recover was the talk of the medical center. Doctors and nurses stopped to speak to her when one of us rolled her wheelchair down the halls.

  I walked into her room Thursday, and she was waiting, dressed in slacks, a silk blouse, and sneakers. She had even applied a little lip-gloss and mascara, and was sitting in the tall chair in the corner of her room.

  "I'm ready. What kept you?" Susie laughed and pulled the walker towards her. "I'm done with that wheelchair. Too confining, and no one looks down at me." She started towards the door to the hall just as Marianne walked in. Susie strolled right past Mari, who looked at me, her shoulders lifted. I was stuck to the floor, dumbfounded.

  "Did Dr. Warner give you permission to amble around this huge medical center on your own two feet, missy?" Marianne tried to catch up to Susie in the hall. I went after Marianne and heard Susie's reply.

  "I don't need permission." She turned her head sideways to talk to Mari over her shoulder as we headed down the hall like the follow-the-leader game. When we passed in front of the nurses' station, everyone stood up: the therapists, the nurses, two doctors, and several housekeepers. Susie knew all of them by name and waved at them and smiled as she walked by. They were surprised to see her walk down the hall, even with the support of the walker. I shrugged my shoulders at them as I went by.

  When we got to the elevators, I heard a roar of applauds behind us. All three of us turned to see that everyone had filed out from behind the desk and stood in the hall watching us, clapping, whistling, and cheering. Susie was touched, but she acted like it was all in a day's work, and waved at them as Marianne and I followed her into the elevator.

  "Okay," Susie said when we walked into Rodney's room. "It's time for you to try to sit up." He was still flat on his back with oxygen in his nostrils, a catheter, and an IV line. He smiled at her and winked. Lilly got up from her chair and rushed to Susie's walker to help.

  "Lil, please lift the head of Rodney's bed." She pointed to the crank at the foot of the bed, and Lilly hesitated. "Tell her it's alright, baby." Susie looked at Rodney, and he nodded at Lilly. Lilly started turning the crank, and the head of the bed began to rise. When it lifted about six inches, Susie told Lilly to stop. "Okay. That's
good for today. Every day another six inches or so until you can sit up straight. Okay?"

  Rodney smiled so wide his straight white teeth gleamed. He nodded again.

  "Now, for speech therapy." Susie pushed her way to the side of his bed and asked Marianne to lower it so she could sit next to him. Susie planted her butt at his waist and put one hand on each side of his head, bent forward and kissed him for a long time. He closed his eyes and kissed her back.

  When she lifted her head, and their faces were a few inches apart she said, "Say, 'Love.'"

  I watched his tongue touch the back of his upper teeth, his lips parted about an inch, as he tried to form the word.

  "Push air through your mouth from your throat," Susie spoke softly and was close enough to his mouth to kiss him.

  "Luhhhhhhh." Rodney's voice was raspy and deep, but the sound was loud and clear.

  "Great job!" She kissed him again and sat straight up. "Now. Try again. Louder."

  "Luhhhhhh-bbbbb." He smiled at her then looked at Lilly, who was still standing at the foot of the bed. "Luhhhhhh-bbbb."

  "I love you, too, Dad." Lilly held onto the bed to steady herself. Rodney smiled at her and said it again, "Luhhhhh-bbbb. Liiiiiiiii."

  "Great. You've got the L's!" Susie laughed aloud. "And that's the most important letter of the alphabet." She kissed him again and pulled her body into his bed so she could lie down next to him, her head on his shoulder, her arm across his chest. Rodney simply smiled and shut his eyes, savoring the deliciousness like chocolate pie.

  Dr. Warner walked into the room and gasped. I wasn't sure how much of it he saw and heard, but it was enough to impress him.

  "It looks like someone is hampering to get out of ICU and into a regular room." He smiled and walked past Marianne and Lilly, who stood at the foot of the bed. He squeezed Marianne's elbow as he went by, a little gesture I noticed but didn't comment on.

  "Let me examine my patient, Susie." He tried to help her out of the bed, but she insisted on doing it herself. "I hear you ran a marathon this morning. You're the talk of the Rehab Unit, young lady." She smiled and shrugged.