Captivated Hearts

by Yahrah St. John

  Damian stared back at her. His eyes were dark as midnight and clouded. She couldn’t read his expression because he’d turned stone cold.

  “Did you hear what I just said?”

  “Yes. I heard every word.”

  “And?”

  “I love my life, and I’ve enjoyed our time together, but I’m not capable of giving you more than I already have.”

  Jada scooted forward on the couch until their knees touched. She reached for one of his large masculine hands and laced it with one of her own. Then she asked the question she was afraid to hear the answer to. “Won’t you even try?” Jada heard the tremble in her voice. Do I sound as desperate as I feel trying to hang on to him?

  “I’m sorry, Jada. I can’t.” His fingers slipped through hers, and he stood up. “I should go.”

  “You’re going to leave? Just like that?”

  “I think it’s best.” Damian glanced around the room. She didn’t know what he was looking for because a haze of tears were covering her eyes. She saw him grab his phone and walk toward her bedroom. When he returned, he was carrying his overnight bag.

  Jada refused to beg. She’d done that with Joshua—begged him to stay with her. They could have made it work. She would have done anything for him. Instead, he’d told her she wasn’t good enough for him in or out of bed and had walked out. She wouldn’t be that pitiful woman she’d been then. With Damian, she’d take this on the chin. Jada stood and followed him to the door.

  He pulled out his keys and fumbled with the chain until he released her door key—the one she’d given him just a week ago so he could make himself comfortable without waiting for her to come home. Had it really only been that long since she’d trusted a man enough to give him her house keys?

  She held out her hand, and Damian dropped the keys in her palm. “Thanks.”

  Damian looked pained as if he didn’t want to leave, but he was still going to do it. “I’m sorry, Jada.” He leaned forward, kissed her on the forehead, and walked out the door.

  Jada closed it behind him. Only then did she let out the sob she’d been holding in.

  Damian stared at Jada’s door for several long minutes. She’d put up a brave front, but he could hear her cries after the door closed. He touched the door, then turned on his heel and headed down the corridor to the elevator lobby.

  Dammit! Why am I so afraid? Why couldn’t he grasp what Jada was offering and run with it? Hadn’t he just been thinking how great it was to have someone to share his life with? Yet, when the moment of truth had come, he’d chickened out. Why, oh why did Kyler have to make an appearance tonight?

  His and Jada’s relationship had been solid. He was sure she liked him a lot. No, it was more. She cared for him. He could tell because he felt it. He hadn’t had that feeling since the Locketts were alive. Jada made him feel cared for, wanted, and loved. Is that what was scaring him? Was he afraid to be loved and to allow himself to feel that emotion?

  If he did, who could blame him?

  His crack addict of a mother—he loved her once until she abandoned him. And the Locketts? He’d grown to love them too, but life had been cruel and snatched them away. No wonder he was afraid. To love again would make him vulnerable as Jada had said, and Damian couldn’t bear the notion of losing another important person in his life. It would break him. So, he hadn’t allowed himself to love Jada.

  But wasn’t it already too late? Hadn’t he already lost his heart the first moment he’d laid eyes on her?

  Chapter 21

  Jada was nervous when she walked into work on Monday morning. What was going to greet her? Would it be the scorn of all her peers for her perceived wrongs? Would they all want to hang the scarlet letter on her chest for having dared go after what she wanted? She wanted Damian. Of that she couldn’t lie. So, if her penance was to deal with coworkers’ hatred, then so be it.

  But everyone treated her like normal.

  There were no stares. Or whispers behind her back. Folks didn’t congregate together and point fingers at her.

  What gives? Had Kyler kept silent? And if she had, why?

  Unfortunately, Jada wasn’t going to have any answers until later because Kyler’s desk was empty when she arrived. “Where’s Kyler?” she asked another field reporter sitting in the next cubicle.

  “She got an assignment. She should be back this afternoon.”

  “Thanks.” Jada inclined her head and went back to her desk. So, Kyler hadn’t told everyone her secret. Jada was appreciative and surprised. Although she knew Kyler didn’t have a vindictive bone in her body, she had been upset last night. When Jada tried to call Kyler afterward, her phone had gone directly to voicemail. Kyler hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone, or more specifically, to Jada.

  Kyler wasn’t the only person MIA today. So was Damian. Typically, he visited on Monday, but today he was conspicuously absent. Even Andrew commented about it during the morning meeting. No one knew that it might have to do with her. Or did it?

  Just because they ended their sexual relationship could mean absolutely nothing to Damian. He certainly hadn’t seemed brokenhearted. Not like Jada. She’d stayed up crying half the night. Eventually, she’d broken down and called Bree, who’d listened to her even though Jada hadn’t given her very much to go on. She was sure she’d rambled nonsense for much of the call. When she finally fell asleep, it seemed as if the alarm went off an hour later when in fact she’d been sleeping for several hours.

  She looked exhausted. She needed makeup in the worst way and had to cake it on to cover up the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. Somehow, she would make it through the day until she could talk to Kyler.

  That time came around six p.m., when they were both leaving for the day. Kyler had come in a few hours earlier, but had been busy in the editing room getting her piece ready for the five o’clock news.

  “You have a minute?” Jada asked when she saw Kyler packing up to leave.

  “No, I’m busy.” Kyler didn’t look in her direction.

  “Kyler, please,” Jada whispered, stepping toward her. “We need to talk.”

  Finally, Kyler’s blue eyes connected with Jada’s, but instead of being the blue sky on a sunny day that they always were, they were stormy and gray. “The time to talk came and went weeks ago.”

  “This isn’t you, Ky. You’re a forgiving person.”

  “Not when someone stabs me in the back,” she hissed. Kyler snatched her purse out of her desk drawer and began stalking down the hall.

  Jada followed her and kept up because she’d ditched her stilettos in favor of some flats. She fell in step beside her friend. “Do you want to continue to hurl accusations at me? Or do you want to hear my side of the story?”

  Kyler stopped walking and stared at Jada.

  “Well?”

  “Fine. Let’s talk. We can go to the café around the corner.”

  “Sounds great.”

  Ten minutes later, with café lattes in hand, they sat outside at one of the wrought-iron patio tables. Kyler set her coffee cup on it and said to Jada, “The floor is yours.”

  “Thank you for agreeing to talk to me.”

  “Cut the crap, Jada. Get to the point.”

  Jada grinned. She liked Kyler’s fiery, take no-bullshit approach. She should use it more often and might be surprised at how far it would get her. “Alright. I’ll do that. Initially, there was nothing going on between Damian and me. In my case, it was truly hate at first sight.”

  “Clearly something changed. When?” Reporter Kylie was in effect, and Jada was on the hot seat.

  “The night of the media awards dinner. We were getting along well, but then Damian got upset that I was flirting with some sportscasters. Things got heated and before I knew it, he’d kissed me.”

  “Are you honestly going to sit there and tell me it was all
him?”

  “Of course not. I kissed him back.”

  “And?”

  “That was the end of it.” Jada would spare her the details of how much she’d liked the kiss and that she and Damian had stopped only because they’d heard people approaching. She continued, “We both tried to act like it didn’t happen. It was an anomaly, you know? And then I did that Black Lives Matter segment. He asked me to dinner … and the chemistry between us wouldn’t be denied, and we had sex.”

  Kyler’s blue eyes flashed in anger. “This goes that far back?”

  Jada nodded, but continued her story. “But then that very night I got the call about Bree. I instantly hopped on a plane to be with her. I never thought Damian and I would progress beyond that one night, but then he came to Dallas.”

  “He did what!”

  “He followed me and came to the hospital. He met my family and stayed by my side until Bree was out of danger. I was in awe. I felt like I was in some alternate reality and when we came together again, the passion between us was off the charts. It was the best sex I’d ever had, and I think I started to catch feelings for him.”

  “Why couldn’t you have told me that, Jada? I would have understood. Why did you continue carrying on this affair behind my back?”

  Jada shrugged. “I don’t know. When I got back, it all felt so complicated. In Dallas, we could be just a man and a woman in the throes of passion, but here in San Francisco, I felt like we had to keep our relationship under wraps. It wasn’t Damian’s request. It was mine. I didn’t want anyone to judge me or think I was trying to sleep my way to the top. That couldn’t be further from the truth, Kyler. I’m in love with Damian.”

  “I suspected as much.”

  Jada inclined her head. “But he doesn’t love me. He only wanted the sex and to be sure no one else would have me while I was ‘his.’” She made air quotes with her fingers.

  “I don’t think that’s entirely true,” Kyler said and took a sip of her latte. “He wouldn’t have come to Dallas if he didn’t care. He wouldn’t have held your hand as you waited for word on Bree.”

  “Then why didn’t he stay last night?” Jada asked. Because she’d thought the same thing before, but he’d left her, just as Joshua had.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “After you railed at me, it made me question what we were doing. I told Damian I wanted a real relationship out in the open, but more than that, I told him I wanted love, marriage, babies, the works. And he said, ‘I can’t.’”

  “He can’t? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means he doesn’t want me.” A hot tear trickled down Jada’s cheek. “Same as Joshua. Why doesn’t anyone want a future with me?”

  Kyler shook her head. “You deserve a future, Jada. Truly you do. But you have to be a better friend too. I’m upset with you for keeping all of this from me. I could have been a sounding board for you. I could have steered you in the right direction before you got your heart crushed.”

  Jada frowned. “I know. I was wrong, and I freely admit that. I wasn’t a good friend to you, Kyler. Maybe this is my just desserts, to be alone and miserable.”

  Kyler reached across the table. “You won’t always be alone. You will find someone worthy of you, even if that person isn’t Damian.”

  “But I want Damian.”

  “Well, sometimes we don’t always get what we want. We both want the anchor chair, but only one of us could get there. And that’s you.”

  “Kyler—”

  “Damian had you in line for that promotion before you guys slept together. He saw something in you that I don’t have and I’m going to have to accept it, even though I may not like it.”

  “You sound like you’re giving up.”

  “I’m not giving up, Jada. I’m just considering whether WLB-TV or even San Francisco is where I belong.”

  “You would leave?”

  “Maybe. I’ve been thinking about going home to Ohio. I could make a difference there instead of scrambling for crumbs in this rat race.”

  Jada reached for her hand. “I don’t want you to leave, Kyler. There has to be a place for both of us here.”

  “You’re a star, Jada. I’ve always known, and I’m glad that McKnight saw it. I just didn’t like how it came about, but now that you’ve explained things, I believe you didn’t set out to hurt me or have malice in your heart.”

  Tears welled in Jada’s eyes. “Thank you, Kyler. That means a lot because if I didn’t know that, how could I live with myself if you thought I was that kind of person?”

  Kyler offered Jada the first smile Jada had seen since they’d sat down an hour ago. Had time really passed that fast? It had. And Damian had made no contact with her since he left the condo. His silence told Jada all she needed to know. Maybe Kyler was onto something. Perhaps Jada should consider going back home too, to Dallas, where she belonged. Hadn’t she proven she had guts by leaving her family to come here? She’d shown them that the baby girl of the family had what it took to make it. She could go back with her head held high.

  “So we’re OK then?” Jada asked, looking at Kyler.

  “Yes, we are.” She leaned across the table and gave Jada a one-armed hug.

  Jada didn’t realize how much she needed that validation, but it felt good. Now, all she had to do was take the next step to take her life back and stop letting what happened in the past rule her future.

  Later that day, the sunset poured through Damian’s office window. He swiveled his chair away from his laptop to look at the surrounding buildings, a mix of concrete, brick, and aluminum siding. It shouldn’t be so difficult to concentrate, but this was usually around the time he called Jada to touch base. He couldn’t go to the station today because he didn’t want to make a fool of himself and beg her to resume their relationship. Why did it have to change? They had a good thing. If Kyler hadn’t given Jada her two cents, she would have never looked at things through a different lens.

  Jada genuinely liked him. And in bed, she was so expressive. The two of them seemed to anticipate the other’s wants and needs on a physical as well as an emotional level. It was as if he’d come home. Damian had never felt that with other women. They had been a physical release, nothing more.

  More.

  That word had replayed in his mind since he’d left Jada’s. Left her crying for him. That made him feel like such a heel, but he was so crippled by his fear and the possibility of loss that he was afraid to move forward and take what was being freely given.

  Jada Hart was an incredible woman. She was smart and funny. Down to earth. A stunning beauty that he could never get tired of. Yet, he was willing to let her walk away and make the biggest mistake of his life? If he didn’t conquer his irrational fear of being alone, it was going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  He realized he could lose Jada … forever.

  Knock, knock.

  Jada stood outside of Andrew’s open door the following morning. She’d made a decision last night, and she didn’t believe in waiting. If she did, she might chicken out and regret it.

  “Jada, come on in.”

  “Thanks,” Jada said as she walked inside the office. “Do you mind if I close the door?”

  “No, of course not.” Andrew peered at her. “Is everything OK?”

  Jada nodded. “Actually, it is. I’ve come to a decision.” She slid the envelope that was in her hand across the table.

  Andrew reached for it, scanned the contents, and glanced up at her. “This is a resignation letter.”

  “I know.” Jada smiled hesitantly. “It’s time for me to move on.”

  “This is because you want the anchor slot, isn’t it?” When Jada didn’t respond, he continued. “You just have to be a little bit more patient, Jada. It’ll come. You’ve already caught Mr. McKnight’s eye.
It’s just a matter of time before you’re in the anchor’s chair every day of the week. Plus, I heard through the grapevine that Hilary is looking for bigger fish to fry.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I’m not going to accept this.” He pushed the letter back toward Jada. “Take some time and think about it. Didn’t you say your parents were getting married this coming weekend?”

  She nodded.

  “Good. The long weekend will give you some time to reflect. When you get back, if you decide you still want to leave, I’ll respect your decision. Sound fair?”

  “It more than sounds fair, Andrew.” She reached across the desk to shake his hand. “That’s very generous of you.”

  “It’s not generous. Like everyone else, I accepted the status quo, but the numbers don’t lie. San Fran is liking the change of scene with you anchoring on Fridays. Perhaps we’ve all been a little shortsighted until now.”

  “Thanks, Andrew. Thanks a lot.” Jada left his office feeling more confident about her place at the station than she’d felt in five years. But she also felt confused. She’d been pretty determined to leave San Francisco and head home. What’s holding me back?

  The answer to the question did not matter. By the end of the week, she’d be surrounded by the entire Hart clan and Damian McKnight would be the last thing on her mind.

  “Jada!” Bree screamed when Jada got off the Hart jet at the private airfield on Friday afternoon. She’d worked half a day to ensure she left early and had plenty of time with her family.

  “Bree.” Jada grinned as she rushed toward her very pregnant sister and hugged her as best she could. The woman had blown up almost overnight. A month ago, she had a cute baby bump. Now, she was definitely in the final stretch. “What are you doing here?”

  “I told Grayson I was picking you up, and he only agreed if Steve was driving.”

  Jada glanced over at Steve, who was standing next to Duke’s Cadillac Town Car waving at her. “I don’t care. I’m so happy you’re here. Can you believe Mom and Dad? They are finally going to retie the knot.”