Lex Trent: Fighting With Fire

by Alex Bell

  The Majestic Hotel was not far from the dock but they had sent a carriage, anyway. Lex was extremely pleased with the hotel from the outset. It was the sort of place that had chandeliers, and desserts fashioned in the shape of swans, and waiters wearing spotless gloves. It was the most decadent, luxurious hotel Lex had ever seen. It was the sort of place that suited him. He was made for fancy hotels, not grubby farms. But he was careful not to allow any of his pleasure to show on his face, for he had a moping part to play tonight. Indeed, to anyone who saw him, Lex Trent had the look of a person who hardly knew where he was and didn’t care either.

  He was aware of people shooting sympathetic glances his way as he followed the porter through the sumptuous lobby to the reception desk. And then − quite perfectly − when he gave his name, the man behind the desk replied instantly, ‘Ah, yes. Welcome to the Majestic, Mr Trent. We have a suite reserved for you and your companion on the top floor. Will Mr Layton be joining you shortly, sir?’

  Everyone − but everyone − in Olaree knew that Jesse was tragically dead. Everyone, it seemed, but this man. The people milling about within earshot gasped at the dreadful, awful, unforgivable faux pas and shot anxious glances at Lex. Seizing the moment, Lex willed the colour to drain from his face (a trick he had taught himself some while ago, along with blushing). He swallowed hard and allowed a tremor to creep into his voice as he said, ‘Jesse . . . Mr Layton . . . won’t be joining me shortly. Or ever. He’s dead.’

  ‘Oh, you poor dear!’ exclaimed an enormously fat woman nearby who was wearing a lot of lace and the largest floppy hat that Lex had ever seen. She turned a withering glare on the unfortunate receptionist and said, ‘It’s too dreadful of you, really it is! I never dreamt that any staff of the Majestic could be so insensitive! Don’t you know that this poor boy’s companion lost his life saving a little girl in the last round?’ She was practically quivering with outrage.

  The receptionist looked horrified and hastily started apologising. Within seconds, an important-looking manager was bearing down on them all. When he realised what the problem was he dismissed the receptionist on the spot.

  Quite a little crowd had gathered around them by this point so Lex took the opportunity to say gravely, ‘Please, sir, as a special favour to me, do not dismiss this man. Jesse wouldn’t . . . He wouldn’t have wanted that.’ Cripes, he could practically feel the swell of almost ferocious approval emanating from the people around him.

  The receptionist was ushered away but the manager assured Lex that he would be allowed to keep his job. Then the manager himself took Lex’s bag and escorted him across the lobby to the elevator, during which time Lex had a grand total of three lace handkerchiefs pressed into his hand by women who seemed completely intent on comforting him, despite the fact that he wasn’t actually crying. Of course, if Lex had been playing any part but himself then he would have been wailing his head off by now, but he wasn’t acting a part as the Shadowman or the Wizard or Trent Lexington. He was − technically, at least − being Lex Trent. And, although he certainly wanted people underestimating him, he didn’t really want them believing him to be a weakling who couldn’t keep his emotions under control.

  So he accepted the handkerchiefs gracefully, for all that he didn’t need them, and followed the manager to the elevator with a grim look, as if he was counting the seconds until he could finally be alone.

  Even the elevator was a ridiculously posh affair, with a uniformed bellman and everything − because, naturally, it wouldn’t do to have the guests pushing their own buttons. The manager told Lex that he had been given the largest suite the hotel had. Lex smirked inwardly at the thought of what Jeremiah and Lorella would say when they heard about that. Even when he was losing, Lex was winning. And that took a really very special kind of skill.

  When they reached the thirteenth floor at the top of the hotel, the manager took Lex to the door − the only one, in fact, on that floor − unlocked it and stepped aside for Lex to enter.

  It took all of Lex’s self control not to react. Never in his entire life had he seen anything so splendidly luxurious. The suite was huge. The living room area was all polished wood, with a grand ornate fireplace and big, solid armchairs that looked as if they’d never been used before. A massive fruit basket, piled high with a veritable mountain of colourful fruits, sat on the gleaming coffee table. Nothing says ‘sorry your friend is dead’ like a bunch of ripe bananas . . .

  ‘Is it to your liking, sir?’ the manager asked.

  ‘It’s fine, thank you.’

  ‘The bathroom is through the door to your right. And on the left are the bedrooms . . .’ The manager trailed off apologetically for, of course, the second bedroom was now to remain unoccupied.

  Lex turned his head away and clenched his teeth to make a muscle twitch in his jaw, as if he was struggling to contain his emotion.

  ‘I expect you’d like to be left alone now,’ the manager said hurriedly. ‘The entire top floor is devoted to this suite, so rest assured you won’t be bothered by anyone. And if there is anything that I, or anyone else in the hotel, can do for you, Mr Trent, day or night, then please don’t hesitate to let us know.’

  ‘You’re very kind,’ Lex replied.

  The manager put down Lex’s suitcase and left the room, quietly drawing the door closed behind him. Lex crossed over and locked it, then waited until he heard the elevator doors slide shut. Only then did he allow a wide grin to spread across his face. He rushed into the bathroom and goggled at the bath, which was practically big enough to swim in. Then he ran to check out the bedrooms. Both had grand four-poster beds with chocolate mints on the pillows, little fridges that were stuffed full of complimentary drinks and snacks, and even a strange-looking thing that Lex assumed must be a trouser press. There was also a liquor trolley, complete with crystal-cut tumblers and a bucket of ice. If Lex had been a drinking man he would have poured himself a celebratory drink but, as he wasn’t, he made do with a celebratory bubble bath.

  Lex loved baths and soap and being clean. So if there was a big bathtub going free then Lex was always likely to get in it and stay put well past the time that his fingers got all crinkly. He didn’t even care if it was a bit of a girly habit. He liked baths − if they had bubbles in ’em as well then so much the better − and he wasn’t going to apologise for it.

  He’d been in the tub for about half an hour and was just topping it up with more hot water when the bathroom door opened and a cheerful voice said, ‘Fancy place, this, ain’t it?’

  Lex almost drowned in his own bath water. For there in the doorway stood Jesse, hat tipped back on his head, a bottle of beer in his hand and a stupid grin on his face.

  ‘Oh my Gods, what are you doing here?’ Lex spluttered, utterly horrified. ‘I told you to stay out of sight on the ship!’

  The cowboy shrugged. ‘Yeah, well, I only take orders from you when it suits me to, kid. Besides, we ain’t even playing a round right now. I’m an outdoorsy sorta bloke. I can’t stay cooped up on that ship for an entire week; I’ll go barmy.’

  ‘You didn’t even manage one afternoon!’ Lex snapped, grabbing a nearby towel and wrapping it around himself as he stood up in the bath. ‘Everyone thinks you’re dead! What if someone saw you coming here? Did you even think of that?’

  ‘Relax,’ Jesse replied. ‘I didn’t stroll through the streets. Her Ladyship transported me right here to the room. No one saw nothing.’

  ‘No one saw anything,’ Lex corrected, being deliberately obnoxious in his anger. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of a double negative before?’

  ‘Can’t rightly say that I have,’ Jesse replied, completely unruffled. ‘Say, I didn’t notice that liquor trolley there before.’ And, with that, he turned away from the bathroom and walked back into the lounge.

  Scowling and grumbling to himself, Lex stepped out of the bath and hurriedly got dressed. When he went into the living room, the cowboy was sprawled on one of the armchairs drinking beer from one of
the crystal-cut tumblers.

  ‘I made it quite clear to you before we started this thing that, if you agreed to take part, you were going to have to take orders from me. I told you that was a condition and you agreed to it before you put the Binding Bracelet on!’

  ‘Well, I guess I wasn’t exactly telling the Gods’ honest truth when I said that,’ Jesse replied with a shrug. ‘I was in prison, kid, and you were my ticket out. I would’ve said whatever the heck you wanted to hear to get myself outta that cell.’

  Lex glared ferociously at the cowboy. ‘You . . . you’re a blaggard, that’s what you are!’

  ‘Yep. But you knew that before you picked me and you gone went and did it, anyway.’

  Well, there was no arguing with that. Lex had known full well what Jesse was, almost from the very moment he saw him. That was precisely why he had wanted him as his companion, and probably would have done even if it hadn’t been for Dry Gulch House. There were ways to work around this. As long as Lex paid Jesse for each round they won then he could guarantee that the cowboy would at least try. And there was no denying that he had been useful in the first round. Right up until the end, anyway.

  ‘You can stay because it suits me that you do,’ Lex said eventually. ‘It means I won’t have to sneak back to the ship so that we can eat together. No one will know you’re here as long as you stay put in the room and we keep the door locked at all times. In the meantime you can make yourself useful and start teaching me how to be a cowboy.’

  ‘Yeah, about that—’ Jesse began.

  ‘If you go back on your word and refuse to do it then, Gods help me, you’ll be sorry!’ Lex snapped.

  ‘Settle down,’ Jesse replied mildly. ‘I’ll do it. I was just gonna tell you that it’ll never work. I mean, look at you. You’re a skinny city kid.’

  ‘I was brought up on a farm, actually,’ Lex said coldly. ‘Besides, I’m not asking you to teach me how to be a cowboy; I’m asking you to teach me how to fake it.’

  ‘I just don’t think it can be done, is all. But if you wanna take a stab at it then knock yourself out, by all means.’

  ‘I’m a fast learner,’ Lex replied. ‘Just you wait. I’ll show you.’

  ‘While we’re on the subject, I don’t think the Sword of Life is real, neither.’

  ‘Well, the sword is none of your concern,’ Lex replied. ‘All you have to do is get me into Dry Gulch House. And if you manage that then I’ll . . . I’ll give you a bonus payment of two hundred pieces of m-gold.’

  Jesse narrowed his eyes suspiciously. ‘You’re making a lot of promises about rewards, kid, but I ain’t seen so much as a single dollar yet. How do I know you’re good for it?’

  ‘I’m a thief,’ Lex replied. ‘I can get you your money easily.’

  Jesse shook his head. ‘You’re also a liar. I ain’t buyin’ it. I can recognise another rogue when I see one. I want my payment handed over to her Ladyship with promises from you and from her that, if I play my part in this circus, I’ll get my reward at the end of it. Without that I won’t go another step further. I’ll walk out that door right now and show the world I ain’t dead.’

  ‘You wouldn’t have the nerve!’ Lex sneered, despite the fact that he knew full well that Jesse absolutely would make good on his threats if it came to it. ‘Why must I always be plagued with the most vexing companions?’ he moaned. ‘I’d be better off on my own. I’d be better off if you were dead! If the Game allowed it, I wouldn’t take a companion at all.’

  But for all that he was making a tremendous fuss about it for the look of the thing, Lex was not overly bothered. It was simply a matter of learning how to handle a person. He’d learnt how to handle Mr Schmidt in the last Game and he would learn how to handle Jesse even easier because all the man seemed to care about was money. And for a talented thief like Lex, money really was no problem at all.

  ‘I assume you’ve no objection to valuables in lieu of payment?’ he said, deliberately choosing a fancy legal term in the hope that Jesse wouldn’t understand it.

  But the cowboy just said suspiciously, ‘What sort of valuables?’

  Lex shrugged impatiently. ‘I don’t know. Diamonds or something.’

  ‘Diamonds would be just fine,’ Jesse replied, still looking suspicious. ‘Just so long as you don’t try and fob old Jesse off with fake ones. Got some in your pocket, do you?’

  ‘No, not yet. But in a posh hotel like this there’s bound to be rich women carrying their jewels about with them. I bet I’ll be able to get you your payment from the very first room I break into.’

  His fingers were itching again. Being in posh places like the Majestic always had that effect on Lex. There were, after all, countless valuable things just there for the taking. He wouldn’t have done it for Jesse alone, but the thought of carrying out a theft now really rather appealed to him. That pickpocketing business at the Sea Volcanoes teashop had been nothing more than keeping his hand in: something so ridiculously simple that it had barely been fun at all. Pinching something from a hotel room in the Majestic, on the other hand, would be wonderful fun, because it was bound to be at least a little bit of a challenge. He needed to keep his hand in as the Wizard, too, after all. This would be an entertaining diversion amidst all the schmoozing he would be expected to do at the welcome dinner later.

  ‘Yes,’ Lex said decisively. ‘I’ll obtain your payment tonight. After the dinner.’

  ‘Pull that off,’ Jesse said, eyebrows raised, ‘and I would be impressed.’

  ‘Lovely,’ Lex replied. ‘Nothing matters more to me than impressing you! Now, if you’re quite satisfied, can we get on with this cowboy thing?’

  ‘All right,’ Jesse said. ‘I suppose I can start the lessons on faith. For now. If you wanna pass yourself off as a cowboy, the first thing you need to learn how to do is play poker.’

  ‘Poker?’ Lex repeated, pulling a face. ‘Are you sure that’s what we should be starting with? Shouldn’t we be doing . . . I don’t know . . . gun-shooting or knife-throwing or tobacco-chewing or something?’

  ‘Here?’ Jesse asked, eyebrows raised. Lex had to admit he had a point. The posh, pristine suite probably wasn’t the ideal place to learn how to throw a knife.

  ‘Don’t make no difference, anyhow,’ Jesse said. ‘Even if we were on the ship I woulda started with poker. It’s the lynchpin, see? Much more so than all that other stuff. I mean, you’re not planning on challenging anyone to a duel, are you?’

  ‘Good Gods, no!’

  ‘Well, as long as you stay outta trouble, that stuff won’t be as important to you as the everyday stuff. Things like learning how to play poker, chew tobacco and drink coffee black.’

  ‘I already drink coffee black,’ Lex replied.

  ‘Not like this you don’t,’ Jesse said with a grin. ‘I’m talking about coffee that’s been brewed for so long in a tin pot over an open fire that you can stick a spoon in it and it’ll stand up.’

  ‘It sounds dreadful.’

  ‘Yeah, well, you’ll have to get used to it because, if you ever ask for cream to be put into the coffee, then everyone will know right enough that you ain’t no cowboy. But poker’s the most important thing. You ever played before?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘How about other card games?’

  ‘No, I’m not a gambler,’ Lex replied, rather contemptuously. ‘I don’t rely on luck. I prefer to be sure I’ll win.’

  Jesse stared at him. ‘You realise what a dumb thing that is to say, do you? Considering who your Goddess is and all.’

  Lex scowled. ‘I was an excellent thief and conman even before she came along. In fact, that’s what made her take such an interest in me in the first place. I’m careful and dedicated to my art. That’s why I sometimes appear to be lucky.’

  This wasn’t entirely true, and Lex knew it. He was lucky. But he was also, as he’d said, careful and hard-working. Indeed, if he’d applied his clever mind to any other profession, he would have climbed his way str
aight to the top of the ladder in no time. Successfully pulling off thefts and scams did not come easily. There was a lot of hard work involved in what Lex did. And he saw himself as completely entitled to every penny he earned.

  ‘Whatever,’ Jesse said with a grin. ‘The point is that if you’ve never played card games before then you’ll have no feel for the cards. Here.’ As if by magic, the cowboy produced a deck from one of the inner pockets of his jacket. ‘Have a go at shuffling them.’

  Lex took the cards, squinting at them dubiously. They were dirty, dog-eared and all had pictures of naked women on them. Lex shuffled them for a few seconds, didn’t drop a single card, and then handed them back to Jesse.

  But the cowboy shook his head. ‘We ain’t done yet, partner. That there was your basic sliding shuffle. Anyone with two hands can do that. But for poker you’re mostly gonna need the dovetail shuffle. And you’ll also need to learn the Hindu shuffle, the pile shuffle and the Chemmy shuffle. Then we’ll go on to the Mongean shuffle and the Faro shuffle. And the false shuffle, too, because they all expect a bit of cheating. Once you’ve got all that, then we’ll go on to the game itself.’