Only Just Begun

by Vella, Wendy

  “It is.”

  “Mandy, will you tell me why you freaked out when you thought that photographer was taking pictures of you?”

  She eased her hand from beneath his and messed about with the papers. This was another go-to for her. She tried to look busy when someone asked a question she didn’t want to answer.

  “I really can’t tell you.”

  At least she was being honest.

  “Because it relates to your past?”

  She nodded.

  “And you don’t want people seeing your picture anywhere?”

  “Yes.”

  Ted was fairly good at joining dots, and he came up with two scenarios right off; neither one he liked. Witness protection, or she had someone in her past who she never wanted to find her.

  “How old were you when you came to Ryker Falls?”

  “Nine, and I’m not telling you what you want to know.”

  “Can I ask one more question? You know I’d never tell anyone what we discuss, Mandy, don’t you?”

  She exhaled slowly, then sank into the chair across from him.

  “I’m not big on trust, Ted. But yes, I know I can trust you.”

  Her words made him feel ridiculously happy.

  “Just as I trust you with my past.”

  “I don’t know anything about your past.”

  “Fair point.”

  “I know you had a sister, but are there others?”

  “There are.” He had an aversion to sharing any details about his past, like her. He enjoyed the anonymity that he had here in Ryker Falls. But he’d tell her some things if it meant she shared details with him.

  “How long have you lived away from your family?”

  “Fourteen years.” He kept his voice even, but inside his heart had started thudding.

  “And do your family have a lot of money?”

  “That’s a bit personal, don’t you think? Anyone would think you were a money-hungry woman, Miss Robbins,” Ted deflected.

  “Anyone would know that’s not true.”

  “Is Mandy your real name?” Ted asked the next question instead of answering hers.

  He’d surprised her. Her brown eyes widened, and she slumped back in the chair. Ted kept quiet; he knew the power of silence. What he’d asked her was a big leap of faith. If she said it wasn’t, she was giving him something that Ted doubted she’d ever given anyone else.

  Why did he want this so much?

  “No.” The word was a whisper, but he heard it.

  “Rebecca?”

  That forced a laugh out of her.

  “Lucrecia?”

  “Ha, funny guy.”

  “Your secret is safe with me, Debbie. I promise.”

  She smiled.

  “One more question?”

  “Ted,” she sighed.

  “Where is your mother?”

  “She died when I was born.”

  “I’m sorry, that has to have been hard.” He wasn’t overly fond of his mother, but he couldn’t imagine not having her in his life.

  “You don’t miss what you’ve never had, Ted.”

  He didn’t know if that was right, but he didn’t push any further.

  “Before we start, I want you to know that if you ever need me, I’m here for you, okay?”

  “Okay, and thanks.”

  Taking one of his cards, he handed it to her. “Put my number in your cell phone.”

  When she’d done as he requested, Ted asked her to start.

  She outlined her plans and costings and what legal requirements she thought they needed.

  “You’ve done a good job, Mandy.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, we just need to add a few things here and there.”

  He told her what he thought should be changed or tweaked, and she crossed out and rewrote. It was a good plan, and one that Ted thought would be received well by the community and tourists.

  “Do you have an appointment with the bank?”

  “Not yet. I wanted to finalize this first.”

  He tapped his pen and wondered how he could word what he wanted to say.

  “I could loan you the money.”

  She was putting the papers back in the folder, but all movement stopped at his words.

  “No, thank you.” The excitement on her face that had been there as she talked about her plans slipped away and was replaced with that blank expression he hated.

  “It would be a business deal, with interest on the loan calculated on the current rate. I have the cash; you need it.”

  “No, thank you.” She got to her feet, and Ted joined her.

  “Why?”

  “I can get a loan from the bank.” She was using that uptight voice again.

  “I’d have it written up by my lawyer, Mandy.”

  “No, Ted.”

  “Because we’ve slept together and you think this will complicate things?” He stood before her now, blocking her exit to his door. “I don’t mix business and pleasure ever. If you take a loan from me, it will be strictly business.”

  “But I’m not sure I can separate them. If you did this, it would be as a favor to me, and I need to do this for myself. I want to achieve this, Ted. It’s important to take all the steps everyone else has to. I want to be normal.”

  “You look normal to me.” He let his hands settle on her hips. “Very normal… boringly normal, in fact.”

  “Ha.”

  “You want me to come to the bank with you?”

  “No, but thank you for the offer. You’ve been very kind.”

  “You’ll have to do better than that. There’s the gym work, then the sex, and now this. I need more than a ‘thank you, Ted.’”

  She frowned, forming that line down her forehead. Her eyes settled on his mouth.

  “How about this.” She leaned in and kissed him softly. Her arms went around his neck as her body settled against his.

  Ted had a moment’s panic as he realized just how right it felt having her back in his arms before he dismissed the thought and kissed her back.

  He’d never kissed a woman in his office before. Never even wanted to, but he wanted to now, and a great deal more.

  Switching positions, he lifted her and sat her on his desk. Running both hands up her thighs, he pushed up the flirty hem of her dress and stepped closer.

  “When I saw you in the dress, all I could think about was how fast I could get you out of it.” He said the words into her neck, where he was currently licking the soft skin beneath her ear.

  “I’m not sure we should d-do this, Ted.”

  “Me either.” He bit gently on her lobe, and she shuddered.

  “You don’t like complications.”

  He didn’t, she was right. But right at that moment, he couldn’t care less about them. Finding the tie at her waist, he pulled, and the dress fell open.

  “How handy,” he rasped as the cream silk cups holding her breasts were exposed. Tracing the lace edge with his lips, he used his other hand to push the hem higher.

  Mandy struggled to release the top buttons of his shirt, but only managed two. He then felt her hand slip into the neck and touch him. This time it was he who shuddered.

  What followed was hot, heavy, and touched him far more than it should. She was right there with him every step of the way.

  He tasted all of her. Skimming his lips down her body, making her moan and sigh. Ted lowered her panties down her legs and then she lay back on his desk.

  “I’ll never look at this desk the same again,” he rasped. She was a luscious feast spread before him, every inch his to savor. Lowering his head he licked the soft dewy folds between her legs. Her body twitched, so he did it again and again. Grazing his teeth over the hard bud, he thrust two fingers inside, and she came in a shuddering release.

  Managing to get a condom out of his wallet, he sheathed himself and then slid home, taking her with him to another release, her skirts around her waist and his pants around his
ankles.

  “Mandy.” He held her against him as his heart tried to settle back into its normal rhythm. His hand was on her back, the other on her head, holding her close. So close, because he didn’t want to let her go.

  She stirred in his arms, and he eased back to get a look at her. Hair a mess, her lips rosy from his kisses, and she looked sated, like a woman who had been thoroughly loved.

  Whoa, loved? He pushed the thought aside.

  “That was nice,” she said slowly.

  “It was,” Ted agreed, easing back some more. He then tidied her dress before heading to the bathroom. When he came back, it was to find her gone.

  He left his office at a run and caught up with her as she reached her car.

  “So, what? Thanks for the fuck, Ted, now I’m off?” Rage was the only term he could come up with for what he was feeling.

  She wouldn’t look at him, instead opening the door.

  “Damn you, talk to me!”

  She faced him, and he saw the tears in her eyes.

  “Mandy….” Her name was wrenched from him. “Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?”

  “You didn’t hurt me.” The finger that touched his cheek trembled. “What do you want from me, Ted?”

  He didn’t know himself, so how the hell was he going to tell her?

  “Love? Marriage? Sex occasionally? Are we going to date?”

  “Mandy….” His words fell away. Jammed in his throat, he couldn’t speak them.

  “Let me make this easy for you, so going forward we’re clear, okay.” She took a deep breath before continuing, her hand now at her side. “I’ve only slept with one person, you, twice. I’ve never had a relationship or even dated. This, you and me, is not going to work because I think you could really hurt me if you’re not serious… which your silence tells me you’re not.”

  “It’s not—”

  “Do not say ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ to me, Ted. Just acknowledge my words, and let’s leave it at that. What happened between us was great, but it can’t happen again unless you are willing to commit to more. I want more. I want to date and go to movies and do things other couples do. I don’t think you can give me that.”

  Great? It was fucking amazing!

  “Can you?”

  “Can you what?” Ted played for time.

  “Don’t insult me, you know what.”

  “I don’t know.”

  Her smile was sad.

  “Which tells me what I need to know. So thanks, Ted, you’ve been an amazing friend and taught me so much, but it has to stop here. So when we see each other now it’s a smile, a wave, and we pretend like we always do that nothing has happened between us. No more kisses or touches. From now on, please keep your distance from me.”

  She leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

  “Be happy, Ted. I know I plan to be.”

  He watched her drive away from him and wondered why he felt a deep, searing pain inside his chest, almost like she’d taken something with her that he needed to exist.

  Chapter 31

  Mandy had kept busy since the day she’d driven away from Ted. The day she’d told him how she felt, and he’d looked like he was coming down with something fatal.

  She was done feeling sad and crying over a man who would only ever be her friend. Well, that was the plan, and yet she wasn’t entirely sure she could carry that off.

  For years she’d stayed away from emotional involvement. Wanted to keep herself safe and distant from people. It was ironic that the man who had helped her morph into a functioning, participating human was the one who didn’t want a relationship with her.

  I’ll laugh about it one day, but not now.

  She’d opened herself up to this. Taken a chance, and it had backfired. But she wouldn’t regret it. Ted had taught her to feel.

  Mandy knew it wasn’t love she felt, because surely that didn’t happen so fast. But maybe it was first love, the puppy kind that she’d missed out on in her teenage years.

  A man had paid her attention, and she’d thought it wonderful, amazing, but now it was time to move on.

  Dressing in her new sage-green dress, she stepped into the wedge sandals Rory insisted she buy and decided today was the day she would go to the bank. Today she needed to be brave, because if her last encounter with Ted had taught her anything, it was that she could be that.

  Collecting her folder, she left the apartment. Today she was doing what she should have days ago—visiting the bank manager.

  She headed down Main Street and walked in through the doors, fighting back the nerves.

  “Can I see Mr. Gleeson please, Beth?”

  “I’ll see if he has time, Mandy. You may have to make an appointment,” the woman manning reception said.

  Her nerves climbed as she watched Beth speak with the manager on her phone.

  “You’re in luck, his 10:30 a.m. has canceled. He’ll see you now.”

  Mr. Gleeson had taken over from the last bank manager, Mr. Harvey, a man who had been with the bank for as long as Mandy had lived here. He’d been a man they trusted, and he’d broken that trust every way possible.

  “Miss Robbins.” Mandy had seen him around Ryker Falls and thought he was about her age. His smile was nice as he waved her to a seat.

  “Mr. Gleeson.”

  “Call me Andrew.”

  “And I’m Mandy.”

  “I don’t believe we’ve talked before, which in a town like Ryker Falls is quite something.”

  “Yes, the locals do tend to make themselves known,” Mandy conceded.

  “They do, and in a good way. They’ve made me feel at home since I arrived.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “So how can I help you today, Mandy?” He moved to sit behind his desk.

  She started like Ted had told her, outlining what she wanted, and then showed him her figures and worked through her proposal. Mandy had answers to all his questions, thankfully.

  “You’ve been thorough.”

  “I had help,” Mandy conceded.

  He looked through her papers, then tapped something into his computer.

  “I can’t see a problem with the figure you’ve requested, but I’ll give you a final decision tomorrow, Mandy, after I’ve checked through some things. Although with Ted Hosking’s backing, I can give you a verbal yes.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Surely she hadn’t heard that right.

  “Ted Hosking came to see me and said he would guarantee any loan you took out.”

  He did what?

  “Is there a problem with that?” Andrew Gleeson frowned. “After all, he is a well-respected businessman and runs a successful and thriving concern with Falls Lodge.”

  Mandy managed to force out a smile. She was no fool, and did not want to jeopardize her loan chances, but she’d also wanted to do this on her own. Ted knew that. How dared he go behind her back. She knew in a small corner of her mind that he’d done it to help her, but it didn’t help. She wanted to track him down and tell him exactly what she thought of his high-handed behavior.

  “Mandy?”

  “No problem, of course he discussed that with me,” she lied.

  “Are you free on Wednesday, about 4:00 p.m.? Perhaps we could meet over coffee?”

  “Ah, sure, thanks.” Was it normal to meet your bank manager for coffee?

  “Excellent. I’ll drop by and let you know where we’ll meet.”

  “Thank you.”

  Leaving the bank, she inhaled a deep breath.

  He had no right.

  He’d taught her so much. How to be strong physically, and how to experience pleasure. Ted Hosking, the man so many people spoke of in awe, had made love to her, and she would always treasure that memory, especially as it would never happen again. But she was so angry with him at that moment, she was sure a red haze covered her eyes.

  “Are you okay, Mandy?”

  Mandy snapped her mouth shut as Joe Trainer walked toward her.

&nb
sp; “Of course.”

  “You look angry, and it’s not an expression I’ve seen on your face before.”

  “I’m okay, Joe.”

  She could see he wasn’t convinced but he didn’t push the matter.

  “Sorry I couldn’t make our meeting, Mandy. You want to talk now?” He slung an arm around her shoulders.

  “Actually, I just showed my business plan to the bank manager, and he said it looked good. I should know Wednesday at four if I get the loan or not.” She couldn’t lie. “I had help from Ted.”

  “As a second choice, he’s a good one.”

  “Would you come with me to the shop now and listen to a few of my suggestions for the setup, Joe?”

  “I’d love to. Let’s go.”

  Mandy pushed aside her anger over what Ted had done and talked to Joe about her plans as they walked. Pushing open the door to the bookshop, she felt a rush of excitement.

  “Hi, Mr. Timms, mind if we take another look around?” Mandy said as they entered. He was packing boxes.

  She’d discussed that she wanted a long-term lease and what she wanted to do with the space. He’d agreed on the condition that when she left, the wall went back if the next owners wanted it so.

  “Hey, Joe, you helping Mandy?”

  “Always, Mr. Timms.”

  She’d had these people in her life for years, but maybe now Mandy was starting to really appreciate friends like Joe Trainer.

  “Take all the time you want. I have to head home with this load. So lock up, and I’ll get the key off you tomorrow at Tea Total, Mandy.”

  They talked about placement of things after he’d gone, and Mandy made notes as Joe offered suggestions.

  “I think Buster is going to email a floor plan he thinks would work through to Ted. Apparently he’s good at that kind of thing.”

  Mandy didn’t think she’d be asking to see that email anytime soon. She’d be angry for a while yet.

  “Ted’s got a good eye for aesthetics too.”

  Mandy made a sound of agreement.

  “What’s the deal, Mandy?”

  “Deal?”

  Joe leaned on a wall and looked at her. She had to admit he was a handsome man, and yet to her he was just Joe, the man who had been nice to her for as long as she could remember. She didn’t feel any of what she felt when she looked at Ted. That squidgy feeling inside her tummy.