You're Mine Now

by Koppel, Hans

  There was something smooth and easy about the way Sven-or-Olof held out his hand towards his younger colleague, as if he were only too aware that recruiting their attractive prodigy to a sector where young blood was the greatest asset had been a huge bonus.

  ‘… familiarises himself with the magazine’s content a bit more.’

  Sissela nodded eagerly. She was more than happy to assist.

  ‘That sounds sensible.’

  ‘And as our proposal is based on highlighting the reading material, it’s perhaps best that you do that, Anna, as you’re the features editor?’

  She straightened her back and nodded tentatively.

  ‘Um, yes, yes, of course.’

  ‘If you could guide Erik through your thinking about the magazine’s content.’

  Sissela cleared her throat.

  ‘I think that sounds like a good idea. And as managing editor I might be able to add a few thoughts and opinions.’

  ‘Of course. That would be fantastic. If you have the time and opportunity.’

  ‘I’ll just have to make the time. But I’m assuming that the taximeter won’t start ticking until we’ve made our decision.’

  Sven-or-Olof put on a humble face that he’d probably picked up from the first Godfather film.

  ‘I’m sure we’ll come to an agreement.’

  ‘Good, we’ll discuss this and get back to you as soon as possible.’

  Sissela stood up, thereby marking the end of the meeting.

  16

  They were almost indecent. No, not almost, they were indecent. She who was normally so quiet when she made love, almost silent since they’d had Hedda, had been as loud as a porn star.

  Now she was ashamed. Before and after were different worlds.

  Erik pressed himself against her, purred, made himself small on purpose. She wanted to get up and leave. False conventions forced her to lie there and feel her pulse beating against her temples.

  ‘Nice,’ he said, with a lisp.

  Anna felt her body stiffen. Was he talking baby language? No way, that would be too much to bear. She couldn’t have a sexual relationship with a man who used baby talk.

  ‘Wasn’t it?’ he added, removing any doubt.

  She smiled in reply. He was a better lover than her husband, far better. But that didn’t matter when he lisped in the belief that it was charming.

  She tapped him on the chest.

  ‘Towel?’

  ‘In the cupboard.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  He was lisping. Who on earth had got him to believe that it was anything other than a complete turnoff? Anyway, it was a good thing. She’d have no problem resisting the temptation in the future. Anna opened her mouth under the water as she soaped herself. Suddenly the bathroom door opened and the shower curtain was pulled to one side.

  Anna blinked the water out of her eyes and saw Erik holding out his mobile phone towards her.

  ‘What the hell are you doing?’

  She reached for the towel.

  ‘Out!’

  She pointed the shower at him, he dodged out the way, laughing. She closed the door again, rinsed off the soap and dried herself thoroughly. She wrapped the towel around her body and went out.

  ‘That wasn’t funny.’

  Erik was sitting by the kitchen table in his boxers, his mobile phone connected to his open laptop.

  ‘What are doing?!’

  Anna rushed forwards and snatched away the phone.

  ‘Were you thinking of posting those pictures?’

  Erik sighed.

  ‘I just went on to the internet and I surf on my phone. Why would I want to post those pictures?’

  ‘How dare you photograph me naked!’

  ‘You’re beautiful. I just wanted something to remind me.’

  ‘Well, I don’t want you to take pictures of me, either naked or dressed. Understood?’

  She looked alternately at Erik and the phone screen.

  ‘You did that in Mölle too. Are you are pervert, or something?’

  ‘It was a joke. So that you’d get as hysterical as you did in Mölle.’

  ‘Did I get hysterical?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You don’t know what hysterical is. Do you realise what you’re doing? Do you know how bloody invasive that is?’

  Erik went over to the sink and filled a glass of water. He gulped it down.

  ‘You were filming me,’ Anna said, and held up the phone to him as evidence.

  She was almost shaking when she tapped her finger on the screen and deleted the file. ‘I was just mucking around,’ Erik said, hurt.

  Anna went over to him, handed back the phone and picked up his laptop. She checked his history and looked through his files. He stood beside her, watching.

  ‘Lucky for you,’ she said, once she’d confirmed that nothing had been downloaded on to the computer.

  Erik shook his head.

  ‘You don’t have a very high opinion of me, do you?’

  Anna controlled herself.

  ‘You can’t just barge in and film me in the shower. Don’t you get that?’

  Erik tightened his lips.

  ‘It was a joke, okay? I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry if I upset you. But it’s not exactly like we don’t know each other.’

  ‘It is, in fact,’ Anna said. ‘That’s exactly what it is. We don’t know each other at all. And I have to go now.’

  She went into the sitting room, gathered up her clothes and threw the towel at him.

  The water spilled from his glass as he caught it.

  ‘How can you say that after everything we’ve done?’

  ‘Everything we’ve done? We’ve slept together, had sex. That’s nothing, that’s…’

  She made a gesture with her hands to show that whatever it was had now gone up in smoke. Erik stared at her.

  ‘What?’ Anna said.

  ‘Doesn’t this mean anything to you? Do you really think that I just jump into bed with anyone?’

  ‘Stop. You’re young, you’re not in a steady relationship, you look the way you do and as far as I’ve understood, earn pretty well too. I assume you take whatever opportunities come your way. And if you don’t, I suggest you change that and do it while you can. We are over. It was you who kissed me, not the other way round. You asked me to your room.’

  ‘And you came. You weren’t exactly hard to persuade.’

  Anna shook her head.

  ‘Whatever, here and now, it’s over. I have a daughter, a husband, a family. And I don’t intend to risk that for something that isn’t real.’

  ‘Isn’t real?’

  ‘We’ve slept together a few times. Don’t make it bigger than it is.’

  ‘So you think it’s okay for you to fuck around when you feel like it? A bit of a change to spice up a tired sex life at home. A flat stomach, as opposed to Magnus’ belly.’

  Anna froze.

  ‘How do you know what my husband is called?’

  ‘Ever heard of the internet?’

  Anna pulled on her pants and put on her bra with brisk, agitated movements. Erik observed her, slightly superior.

  ‘I was going to check how old you were,’ he said. ‘On birthday.se. It said that you shared your address with Magnus.’

  Anna glared at him.

  ‘That feels really creepy, you know.’

  She pulled her blouse on over her head like a sweater. They hadn’t taken the time to undo the buttons when they ripped off each other’s clothes. She turned her trousers the right way round and put them on, bent down for her socks, put them on standing as the mattress was low and she didn’t want to sit down. She had no intention of staying a second longer than she needed to.

  ‘So you know where we live?’ she said, and went past him, out into the hall.

  ‘I wasn’t exactly looking for the information.’

  ‘Erik,’ she said, as she stepped into her shoes. ‘It was exciting, an adventure. Don�
�t make this harder than it is.’

  She took her jacket down from the hook, looked at him.

  ‘Promise.’

  He was standing poker straight, almost shaking. Anna nodded at the glass in his hand.

  ‘Careful you don’t spill it.’

  He looked down, held his arm out and crushed the glass with his hand. It broke and the water splashed on to the floor. Anna looked at his hand and then up at him. He stood there holding his bleeding hand out in front of him, without taking his eyes from her.

  ‘Jesus, are you all right?’

  She took a step towards him, caught his wrist and led him quickly into the kitchen. She held his hand under the cold water and pulled out two shards that had got caught in his skin, inspected the cut, which filled with blood as soon as his hand left the running water.

  ‘What happened?’

  Erik looked at her without answering, watched her concern and care with fascination. Didn’t pay any attention to his bleeding hand.

  ‘You’ll need to get a doctor to look at that, you’ll need stitches. Did you do that on purpose?’

  He didn’t answer.

  ‘You need to go to hospital.’

  ‘It’s not that deep.’

  ‘Have you got any bandages?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  She looked around the room, spotted a tea towel, opened it up and saw that it was dirty.

  ‘There’s clean ones in the cupboard.’

  Anna got one out, rinsed his hand under the cold water again. The blood flow wasn’t as intense any more. She squeezed together the edges of the wound.

  ‘Maybe it’s not so deep after all. Keep your hand under the water. Have you got any disinfectant?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘Alcohol?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘All right,’ she said, and turned off the tap.

  She dried his hand with kitchen roll and tied the tea towel tight around the wound. She sat him down by the kitchen table.

  ‘We haven’t talked about work,’ Erik said.

  ‘No, and I don’t think it’s a good idea that we do.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I don’t think we should work together.’

  ‘You mean you and me?’

  Anna didn’t answer.

  ‘What am I supposed to do then?’ Erik asked. ‘I have to get this contract. I’m new, I don’t think you understand how important it is. Who am I going to talk to then?’

  Anna inspected her hands, which were red with his blood. She went over to the sink and washed them.

  ‘Email me your questions. I’ll answer. Let’s keep it simple. Okay?’

  She looked at him, shook her head with concern.

  ‘You have to be careful,’ she said. ‘Don’t do things like that. Do you realise that you frightened me?’

  He nodded. She stroked his arm.

  ‘I have to go.’

  Anna couldn’t hide the fact that she was in a rush to get out. She hurried down the stairs and Erik stood in the doorway and listened to her footsteps disappear. He went back into the flat, stood by the window, saw her come out of the door and run across the street.

  She didn’t even turn round.

  Erik went over to the bookshelves and picked up the T-shirt that looked like it had been thrown there by accident, and turned off the web camera that it had been hiding. He got his laptop, stopped the recording and pressed PLAY.

  17

  ‘You don’t need to come and collect me,’ Kathrine said. ‘I’ll catch the bus.’

  ‘No, Mum, I’ll pick you up,’ Anna said, squeezing the phone between her shoulder and her ear, as both hands were busy putting the shopping away in the fridge. ‘I need to swing by Väla anyway.’

  ‘Well, do that first then,’ her mother said. ‘I don’t want to set a foot in there.’

  Anna almost laughed.

  ‘Mum, when are you going to reconcile yourself with Väla?’

  ‘Never.’

  ‘You’ll have to at some point. Everyone goes there. I just need to pop into the off-licence and buy a bottle of wine.’

  ‘Can’t you do that on Drottninggatan?’

  ‘There’s never anywhere to park.’

  ‘I’ll sit in the car.’

  ‘Okay. I’ll pick you up first then.’

  Anna put down the phone and discovered that her daughter had been listening to the conversation.

  ‘I’ll come with you to get Granny.’

  ‘No, sweetheart. Not this time.’

  ‘But I want to go to Väla.’

  ‘We’re not going to Väla.’

  ‘But you said you were.’

  ‘Granny didn’t want to, so I changed my plan. I’m going to another off-licence. You and I can go to Väla tomorrow afternoon. I’m in a bit of a rush right now.’

  Hedda let out a disappointed sigh, but accepted her fate. Anna put on her jacket and started to walk towards the car. She tapped on the bathroom window, which was ajar so the steam could get out.

  ‘Just going to collect Mum,’ she called.

  ‘Okay,’ Magnus answered, from the shower.

  Anna got into the car and reversed out. She drove slowly through the residential streets, lifting her finger from the wheel to greet people she knew, she passed the shop where she went almost daily and always bumped into acquaintances. A shop where you could openly look in your neighbours’ shopping trolley, out of curiosity and in search of inspiration. Mince? Yes, why not? It was a long time since they’d had meatballs. Rustic and seasonal. Some gherkins to go with it. Have we got vinegar?

  Kathrine was waiting outside her entrance on Kopparmöllegatan. She got into the car and gave Anna a kiss on the cheek.

  ‘Hello.’

  ‘Don’t understand what you’ve got against Väla.’

  Kathrine shivered.

  ‘Ugh,’ she said. ‘There are only four truly democratic things in life: pollution, bad weather, traffic jams and Väla shopping centre. A mecca for ugly people. I refuse. Väla has strangled the city centre, we’ll end up just like the United States. Massive parking lots, ugly and obese.’

  ‘Yes, Mother,’ Anna said, amused.

  She steered her way out of the street and down into the centre. She parked in a loading bay and turned on the radio to keep her mother company. When she returned, hiphop was blaring out of the loudspeakers.

  Anna looked at her.

  ‘You’re just doing that to provoke me.’

  Kathrine nodded her head in time to the bass a couple of times before turning it off.

  ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Tell me.’

  ‘Tell you what?’ Anna exclaimed.

  ‘What’s on your mind.’

  Anna pulled in her chin and smiled sheepishly.

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘You insist on collecting me. Hedda’s not here. You want to talk. What is it?’

  Anna turned and looked straight ahead. Kathrine put a hand on her arm.

  ‘I like Magnus,’ she said. ‘I really do. But you are my daughter.’

  Ten minutes later Anna had told her an airbrushed version, omitted Erik’s lie about his mother, filming on his mobile phone and the broken glass. She had told her mother about the kiss outside the toilet, the subsequent rendezvous in his room, the trip up to Kullaberg and the two encounters in his flat.

  ‘I thought it was something serious,’ her mother concluded.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I’d got it into my head that were you were going to get divorced.’

  ‘Why would we get divorced?’

  Kathrine shrugged.

  ‘People do. Suburbia sucks the life out of lots of people. You can guarantee that when a loved-up young couple move in next door, whoosh, the time machine takes you back to when you were young and life was easy, childless and uncomplicated. Your little adventure sounds wonderful. Apart from the fact he’s obviously a bit loopy. I mean, primal screams out to sea – th
ere are limits.’

  ‘So you don’t think I should say anything to Magnus?’

  ‘Under no circumstances. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Do you think you’re the first woman in history to stray? Just be happy it was such a positive experience.’

  ‘He wants us to carry on meeting,’ Anna said.

  ‘Do you?’

  Anna paused for a while.

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘I don’t.’

  ‘You sound hesitant.’

  ‘No, not really.’

  Kathrine gave an approving nod.

  ‘Sounds sensible,’ she said. ‘Be glad for what happened. No point in taking it any further.’

  ‘And yet…’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Well, purely…’

  ‘Sexually?’ Kathrine prompted.

  Anna nodded. Her mother laughed and patted her on the knee.

  ‘What did you say his name was?’

  ‘Erik Månsson.’

  Kathrine turned to look at the road.

  ‘Not easy to google,’ she said.

  18

  The friends who had invited them to dinner were as sweet and kind as they were hopeless at cooking. The meat, which for some unknown reason had to be barbecued outdoors, despite the weather and time of year, was put on before the lighter fuel had burned off and so was torched on either side for a couple of minutes.

  ‘Take out the potatoes, the meat’s done,’ the husband shouted.

  ‘But I don’t know if they’re ready.’

  ‘They must be. Surely half an hour is enough.’

  Two minutes later they were sitting at the table with a piece of cooling meat that was still red in the middle in front of them and a baked potato that no fork in the world could get into.

  ‘Delicious, isn’t it? Help yourself.’

  There was no salt and pepper on the table, the only thing that could help with the taste was some bought Béarnaise sauce. The couple praised each other’s cooking and were oblivious to the fact that neither of their guests joined in the chorus. Both Anna and Magnus tried to find something positive to say, but had to concentrate to avoid looking at each other, so they didn’t lose it and start to laugh, because then they wouldn’t be able to stop. Which ended up being the case anyway, when Anna had to cough up a piece of meat that she couldn’t chew into swallowable pieces.