by B. A. Wolfe
“Okay. Where is he?” I asked her as she put a cotton ball and then a Band-Aid over the spot where she removed my IV.
“Right outside the curtain still,” she said quietly. “Go ahead and get dressed. I’ll be back in a few minutes with a wheelchair.”
I pulled the cover off and sat for a moment on the edge of the bed. I was scared to look down at the bed once I got up. I didn’t want to see if there was any blood, or how much. I knew it wouldn’t help to think about it once I saw it, but like a bad accident, I couldn’t help but look. I took a deep breath and held it in as I put both feet on the cold hospital floor. Standing up, I closed my eyes and turned my head behind me, slowly letting out my breath and opening each eyelid one at a time, only to see... blood. It tainted the positive pep talk that Trish just gave, smearing its hopelessness all over me. I swallowed hard as I tried hard to hold the tears that were stinging behind my eyes. I dragged my feet across the room to the chair where my clothes were. A maxi pad sat on top. Trish must have put it there. She must have known that I would still be bleeding. I felt the slight tinge of the anxiety that I carried on my shoulders leave as I realized this must be normal; this had to be. It was going to be okay I thought to myself. As I put on my clothes, I tried to focus on dressing, breathing, anything but the color red.
I perched myself on the edge of the bed when I finished and waited for my two-wheeled ride out of here. I wasn’t consumed in my own thoughts long as Jason’s voice came from the other side of the curtain.
“You all done in there, Sweetheart?” he asked.
“Yes, but why do I feel like this is the worst case of déjà vu I’ve ever had?” I asked him, feeling all too familiar with this scenario.
He came through the curtain wearing the adorable smile that I loved seeing. “No, it’s really not, because this time, I’ve known you for a lot longer than 8 hours. So now, I get to call you much more than just a friend.” He parked the wheelchair and sat down next to me on the bed.
“Oh really? Am I your best friend then?”
He shook his head. “No, you’re more than a best friend. You’re mine, Sweetheart.” He placed his lips on my bare shoulder and kissed me. If Trish’s pep talk didn’t help, then I knew with all that I was, that this moment right now led me to believe I had everything to be positive about. I was his.
“I’m yours?” I asked as he slowly took his lips off of my shoulder, gazing up at me. I couldn’t help but feel the flutters inside as his words sank deep into my heart.
He stood and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Yes, mine,” he whispered back. My heart was pounding; he had me. He had me so much that he wouldn’t even be able to comprehend. I had my baby and we had each other. Things were going to be okay. I was beginning to believe what everyone else was trying to get through my stubborn, thick-headed skull. I smiled to let him know he made me happy, how everything around me was going crazy, yet he balanced it. He was my sanity in this crazy, insane situation I had myself in.
“Let’s get you home to rest.” He reached out a hand for me to grab as I got off the bed and sat down in the wheelchair.
“Doctor’s orders,” I told him.
“My orders too,” he said.
Twenty-Eight
WE GOT BACK TO HIS HOUSE, his hand laced through mine as he took me downstairs to his room. I stopped in the doorway waiting for him to say something. He turned when he noticed that I wasn’t moving and kept trying to pull me further into his bedroom.
“What?” he asked, his eyes scanning me over.
“I can rest in the room upstairs, you know?”
“I know that, but you seem to sleep so much better down here with me. You make these really cute little moans as you fall asleep, and you just look so peaceful in my bed.”
I hid my face behind my hands, embarrassed by his words. I loved that he wanted me down here, but I made noises while I slept? Good Lord. His hands pulled mine from my face, his eyes peering down at me.
“Don’t be bashful now. It’s pretty adorable.”
I rolled my eyes playfully at him. “I seriously doubt it.”
“Doubt it all you want. It’s cute. Now go sit on the bed, Sweetheart,” he commanded as he walked over to his dresser.
“Yes sir.” I teased as I walked over and sat down on his bed.
He sauntered over to me, carrying a shirt in his arms. “Why don’t you put this on, and I’ll be right back.” He flashed me a wink before walking out of his room and closing the door behind him.
Yes, I did it again; I held his soft, white t-shirt up to my nose, inhaling the scent of Jason. As his smell engulfed me, I allowed every spicy scent tingle my senses. I reluctantly pulled it from my face, quickly pulled off my tank top and bra, and let his shirt slowly slide itself down my body. He was so much larger than me, and his shirt was more like a dress, which made it perfect for resting and sleeping. I pulled down my yoga pants and finally felt even more free and relaxed. I was now extremely grateful for the maxi pad. I wanted the bleeding to stop more than anything, but if it continued, at least I was covered. I folded my clothes and walked over to put them neatly on his dresser before walking back to his bed.
“Taking over my room already, I see.” I heard his sweet voice behind me. I quickly turned on my heels and saw him smiling, holding a few things in his arms.
“Yes, I just might. I like it down here,” I said, teasing him. “What are you carrying?”
He walked over to the bed as I sat down and crossed my legs. “Well,” he said, putting down a water bottle and a couple cans of ginger ale. “I thought you might be hungry, so I made us a picnic.”
“Really?” I asked, stunned and surprised, but entirely grateful.
“Yes, really.” He chuckled. “Now get comfy so I can spread our picnic out.”
I did as he said, crawling over to the side where I normally slept, getting under the covers, and leaning against his wooden headboard. He laid out a few paper towels along with two sandwiches, saltine crackers, and a bundle of grapes.
“Quite the spread here,” I told him as he sat down on the bed.
“You impressed?”
“I’ll let you know after I taste the sandwich,” I said. He looked over at me, shook his head, and handed me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich wrapped in a paper towel.
“Hmmm.” I looked down, admiring his choice in simplicity.
I took a bite of it and looked over at Jason, who had his brows pushed together waiting for a response.
“You have impressed me. No one puts peanut butter and jelly together quite like you do,” I told him, his eye lowering like he knew I was being sarcastic. “It’s perfect. I really appreciate it, all of it.”
“I know,” he said as he started eating his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I was thankful for the lunch. I had felt nauseated all day, but luckily, nothing came up. I blamed it on my preoccupied mind. I would have rather just vomited this morning than had to have dealt with the blood.
“Crackers?” he asked as he handed me the pack. He must have known they were a staple item for me these days.
“Thanks,” I replied, opening the package and taking a few out.
We continued to eat, making some small chitchat, but for the most part, it was quiet. Not awkward, just pleasantly silent while we finished our picnic on the bed.
“So,” Jason said, sounding unsure of what he was about to say. I put my napkin down, looked over to him, and saw his teeth biting down on his lower lip. God, it was sexy, but I had to stay focused. I felt he was about to lay something on me, and it left an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
“Yes?” I asked, leery of the answer.
“I talked to Melanie at the hospital. She called my phone. She said you didn’t answer yours. I explained to her what was going on. I don’t want you to be upset, but I know how much she means to you, so I didn’t want to leave her hanging.”
I put my hand over my gaping mouth. I was taken aback. Not at the fact t
hat Melanie called, but that he cared enough about the relationship I had with her and knew that I’d want her to know what was going on.
“You’re mad, aren’t you? Damn it, I’m sorry, Cassie.”
I peeled my hand off of my mouth and placed it on his knee. “I’m not mad. Not at all. I’m more shocked that you did that for us. Thank you so much. You really are a sweet guy.”
“I know how much she means to you, and I also know how she would castrate me if I didn’t answer the phone. She wants you to call her. So, I’m going to take our trash upstairs and give you some time to talk to her.”
“You don’t have to leave,” I told him.
“I know,” he said, grabbing his phone and handing it to me. “But, girls like to talk in private.”
“Ah yes. The girl code of needing privacy to talk. You know this means that now I have the perfect opportunity to talk about you,” I told him while he picked up the picnic items on the bed.
“Exactly,” he responded before leaving his room.
I clicked Mel’s name on Jason’s phone.
“Jason? Is everything okay?” Melanie asked hastily as she answered on the second ring.
I let my jaw drop a little when she thought I was him and not me. “No, it’s not Jason. How about your best friend?”
“Oh, well, where is your phone?” she asked.
“Upstairs in my room.”
“Ohhh. So you are in his room, then?”
“Yes and I’m resting in his bed and shirt.” If anyone would understand the excitement of this, it was Mel.
“Well, I’m jealous,” she said.
“He told me he talked to you about what happened this morning.”
“Yes, I’ve been so worried. What’s going on?”
I gave her the full rundown of what happened when I woke up this morning to what the doctor told me. Down to the part where he told me that I wouldn’t be able to prevent a miscarriage, which only made my heart break.
“Oh my God. How do you feel about this?”
“Honestly Mel, something clicked. Something changed inside me when I saw the blood. I was terrified I just let this baby down. I became extremely protective and guilty. I want this baby,” I told her as I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and land on the comforter. She was silent on the other end. I didn’t even hear a gasp from her. “Say something,” I pleaded.
“Sorry, I’m just not sure what to say other than the fact that I’m happy you finally figured out what you want. You are going to be a great mom.”
I let the tears of happiness roll down my cheeks. Hearing it from Melanie, my best friend, my rock, the sister I never had, made me realize it was real. This was all real.
“Thanks, Mel,” I cried.
“Oh, don’t cry. I need to hear more about your man candy before you start the water works.”
I wiped the few tears that had fallen down my cheeks. “Man candy?”
“Yes. You heard me. Spill.”
“I feel as though you should have plenty of man candy where you’re at. You know, college and all?”
“Uh? No. That is college candy. While it’s good to enjoy a few times a year, it loses its sweet flavor once it decides to be an obnoxious, video playing, college guy again,” she replied.
“Oh geez. Well, this man candy is perfect. It’s like he’s permanently flavored sweet. I haven’t found a sour moment yet,” I said, teasing her.
“I can taste it now,” she said. “Okay, I know you’ve tasted his lips, but what about…”
“MELANIE!” I exclaimed.
“Hey,” she said. “I am just trying to get a good visual of the guy.”
“I have a better idea then. Why don’t you come out here?”
“Hmmm. That’s actually not a bad idea. I don’t have class the day after tomorrow. So I can come out then. Does that work?”
“Uh. YES!”
“Ha-ha, are you sure about this?”
“Um, more than sure. I want to see you badly. I’ll talk to Trish, but I can honestly say as amazing as this family is, they would have no problem with you staying here for the night too. And if not, you can just stay at the motel, but with that one, I bid you good luck, and you’ll be on your own.”
“Perfect. It’s planned, Cass. Let’s just hope it’s not the latter though. I’ll need an address too.”
“I’ll have Jason text it to you, seeing how I’m not the best with directions these days,” I said, rolling my eyes at myself.
“I can’t tell you how excited I am to see you and this man candy you have. So you’ll have to spill the beans about what else you’ve tasted when I get there, ya know?”
“Fine,” I said, shaking my head. She wouldn’t let it go, but I honestly could say I was more than eager to share with her all the moments I had spent with Jason.
“Can I at least get an inkling of what you two have been up to?”
“Well, there was this one moment we had. It was storming, our bodies were drenched from the rain, and there was an abandoned library and nothing to do. I think you can figure the rest out for yourself.” I loved teasing her.
“Oh, hot damn, does he have a brother?” she asked, practically panting into the phone.
“As a matter of fact, he does, but I don’t know much about him.”
“Find some out before I see you, would ya?”
“You make it sound so easy. Whatever you say.” I giggled.
“See you soon. Love you, and I’m glad you’re okay. You had me really worried.”
“I love you too,” I replied before ending the call.
I could barely contain the excitement running through me, knowing I would get to see her soon. So much that I didn’t even notice Jason leaning against the doorframe. Shit.
“You don’t even need to tell me what you talked about because I heard it all, Sweetheart,” he said in a husky voice as he sauntered over to me.
I could feel my cheeks getting hot as I slapped a hand over my face. Damn, damn, damn.
“I actually only heard the tail end. I just assumed you were talking about me because you looked so damn happy when you hung up.”
He sat down on the bed and scooted up so his back was against the headboard. I looked over to him and was relieved to know he didn’t hear me talking about our steamy library moment.
“I was, in fact, gossiping about you,” I told him. “But I asked Mel if she would come down here. I miss her like all sorts of crazy right now and I think she is eager to meet you.” I looked at him, hoping, and praying that it was okay she was coming down.
“As long as she doesn’t have any knives in her hand and stays away from my manhood, I’m eager to meet her too.”
“Do you think it would be okay if she stayed the night here? I hate to ask, or even impose, so if not I completely understand.” I asked, scrunching my face as though I was asking my mother for something.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Really? She can share my bed with me, and you won’t even know she is here.”
“I have a better idea. How about you share a bed with me, and she can have your bed upstairs?” He popped a brow up as he asked me.
“Tempting,” I said. “I think I like that. In fact, I like it a lot.”
“Good, me too. When is she coming down?”
“The day after tomorrow,” I replied.
“That works out perfectly. I was going to take you out tonight. I wanted to talk to you about a few things, but I would rather you just relax the rest of the day. So how about I take you out tomorrow night before she gets here?”
“Talk about what, Jase?” I eyed him with concern. He could have been saying anything, but it wouldn’t have mattered. All I heard of what he just said was that he had to tell me something.
“There are just some things I want to talk about. A few things about me I want to share with you. I’m not a serial killer or anything, so get that out of your head.” He let out a chuckle.
“That
wasn’t what I was thinking, but thanks for reassuring me. Okay then, tomorrow night, it’s a date.”
“Good, it’s a date,” he said as he lifted up his right arm. “Now get on over here so I can snuggle the shit out of you.”
He didn’t have to ask me twice. I scooted over to him and rested perfectly in the nook of his body. His arm wrapped around me and his hand rested on my waist as he pulled me closer to him. I could feel myself relaxing immensely as I closed my eyes and listened to his calm breathing and the rhythmic beat of his heart.
Twenty-Nine
Mom said Mel was good to stay here tomorrow. I had to run out real quick, be back soon. Be ready for our date later.
-Jase
I READ THE NOTE FROM Jason and couldn’t help but feel like a kid that just got two cupcakes instead of one. The day was turning out too good. First, date night with Jason, and then my best friend was coming tomorrow. Before anything else though, I knew I had to check on something that was sitting in the front of my mind. It would not let me forget about what happened yesterday.
Once in the bathroom, I took a deep breath in because I wasn’t ready to look, but I also knew in every beat of my heart that was racing that I needed an answer. I had no choice but to look down. Blood or no blood, I had to stay positive. I let the breath out and looked down and there it was, or rather wasn’t. I felt like I had just won a small battle. The toilet paper was clean, spot free; there wasn’t any blood. Holy shit. My body relaxed and a smile took over my once-worried expression.
I knew with certainty that after the scare I had yesterday, my heart now belonged to this baby. It was mine and I wasn’t about to let it go without a fight. I was petrified though. I needed to speak to my mom, but she didn’t even know I was pregnant so I couldn’t talk to her yet. The only other person to talk to was Trish. I needed her. Jason was out running an errand, but I had to talk to her now. I had to know if my feelings of being mortified for what I was doing were normal or if it meant I was too weak to be a mom. I put on my running shoes and grabbed the front door key that Jason had left me in case of emergencies and started my journey to see Trish at the hospital.
