The Keaton Series Boxed Set
Page 45
“Are you ready for the story?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs to the brim, and then released it slowly. This was it. It was my turn to tell her my story . . .
Thirteen
SHE HAD FORGIVEN ALL MY FLAWS, my weaknesses, my illness, and me. Cassie forgave it all and then did two things that were completely unexpected.
First, she moved her bag down to my room and told me she was staying with me.
She left my bed for a bit this morning when she woke up, and the sound of a suitcase startled me awake. She wasn’t ready to get out of Keaton was she? I was sure she was still scared but this couldn’t be over yet. The answer I got when I asked her about it was nothing I ever expected.
“I can’t be without you anymore. I don’t want to spend one more minute upstairs when I could be down here instead. So to answer your questions, yes, it was my suitcase, and no, I’m most definitely not leaving you. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.”
I smiled against her hair and brushed a hand down her cheek. “Not the answer I was expecting,” I admitted, “but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I’ve wanted to have you bring your stuff down here for a while now.”
“Well, in that case, consider your room officially taken over.”
Hell with my room . . . she’d taken over my mind, body and soul, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The second thing she did was even more life changing.
Cassie went to dialysis with me. My stomach hit the floor when she’d told me she wanted to go and of course, I refused to let her. But when I walked out to my truck and saw her sitting in that passenger seat, I knew she had meant it when she told me she was all in. Anna had hated that this was my life, and there Cassie was, embracing it. She has helped me in so many ways, I didn’t even know how to thank her.
Mom must have told her that on dialysis days I would get tired and sometimes sick, so there we were downstairs in my room after one of my treatments. We had just finished another game of Scrabble.
“I can’t believe you kicked my ass again.” Tossing the Scrabble pieces back into the box, I asked, “Are you cheating or something?”
“No way, mister.” She grinned and playfully brushed her shoulder. “It’s not my fault I’m a born natural at this game.”
She could say that again. I shoved the game in my closet, and returned to my bed, lying close to her with a grin of my own. “I think you’ll be a born natural at something else, too.” I stretched my legs out and propped my head in my hand.
Lying back, she furrowed her brows. “And what would that be?”
I ghosted my fingers down her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their path as I made my way to her stomach. Her cheeks flushed, her eyes following the rise and fall of my hand on her chest. A few beats later, she peered at me.
I kept my hand protectively over her belly. “You’re going to be a born natural mom, sweetheart.” She was so nurturing and understanding. It was how she was with me and she probably didn’t even realize it. To forgive me for such a horrible secret that I’d kept from her, and to not only hold me tighter, but go with me to my treatments . . .
Worry lines creased her forehead. “Jase, I don’t—”
“Shhh.” I brought my hand to the side of her cheek. “Don’t argue with me. I mean it, Cassie. You are going to be an amazing mother. He’s going to grow up and be surrounded by love every day. I have no doubt in my mind of the love you’re going to shower him with.”
She closed her eyes and a lone tear rolled down her face. I caught it with my thumb and wiped it away. It wasn’t two seconds later her eyelids popped open and her brow quirked. “Him, huh?”
I chuckled. “Oh yeah. This baby in here,” I returned my hand to her stomach, “is a he for sure. And he is going to be one kick ass little guy.” How I knew that it was a boy was beyond me. Hell, I didn’t know the first thing about kids, but this baby was a boy. A boy I couldn’t wait to meet.
“I’m screwed if it’s a boy. I don’t know what to do with boys.” She laughed, but it sounded nervous.
“We’ll figure it out,” I told her, rubbing my fingers back and forth across her waist. “When can you find out the sex of the baby?”
Her gaze drifted down toward my hand. “I don’t know, to be honest.”
“Are you going to find out?”
“I’m not sure,” she said, her voice a little shaky. “I think so.”
“I want to be there for that appointment,” I promised. “And all of the other appointments.” This was crazy. I was crazy. Crazy in damn love.
Her smile reached her glowing eyes. “I’d really love that.”
“Me too. We’ll get to see him on a screen.” Was it weird that I wasn’t nervous? That having her on my bed, my skin touching hers, making plans for a future, seemed more normal than anything in my life? She was glowing and it was the sexiest thing in the world. “In the meantime, I’ll tell you what else I know about.” A grin spread across my face.
“What’s that?” she asked, her breaths turning shallow.
“You,” I whispered, easing my lips onto hers.
It was a soft, gentle kiss. “Mmm,” she moaned, breaking our kiss. “You’re supposed to be tired.”
I was so damn exhausted. But I’d wasted enough minutes of my life being tired. I smiled and ran my thumb across her bottom lip. I loved her lips, the way they tingled on mine, and made all my worries vanish. “I don’t want to waste time sleeping when I could be with you instead.” I slid my hand behind her head and in one swift movement, she pushed her quivering lips to mine.
Tired could wait. Love, that was impossible to make wait. My mouth, my heart, my body, none of it wanted to stop either. My lips pressed harder against hers, my fingers tangled into her soft hair, and her body snuggled closer to mine, driving me wild.
“Jase,” she moaned between kisses, “I need you . . . “
I knew exactly what she needed because I did too. With some reluctance, I released her hair and placed my palms onto the bed, holding myself over her. A sexy smile curved her swollen lips, her fingers gliding up and down my arms, causing my jeans to tighten more than they already were.
“Please,” she murmured. I was putty in her hands when she begged. And a part of me thought she knew that little fact, so she kept doing it. “No one’s home,” she added, her sensual voice luring me in further.
It was afternoon, my parents were both working, and we had the house to ourselves. And truth be told, I was hers any time of day, any moment of her life. I wasn’t even sure if she even knew how bad she had me. I would do anything for this girl.
Her golden eyes burned into mine the longer I held my silence. “You’re killing me, Cassie.”
She frowned and slapped her hand against my bicep. “That’s not funny.”
I smirked. “If anything was going to kill me, I’d be the luckiest guy if it was with you, like this. I’ll give you what you want.” I lowered myself and ghosted my nose down hers. “But only because I don’t want you to have to beg. You always have me. You never have to beg, sweetheart.”
She moaned loudly, her hands splaying across my shoulders. “You make me so happy. I hope you know that. Thank you for giving yourself to me.”
“Thank you for letting me, for wanting me.” No one had ever wanted me like she did.
She held my cheeks and searched my face. “I’ll never not want you, Jase. That’s impossible.”
I knew exactly how she felt.
Without another word, she sat up and playfully pushed my chest, wanting me back on the pillow. So I went with it and fell back as she climbed over me, a leg on either side.
“So . . .” Her fingers coiled around the hem of my shirt, my heart thumping rapidly. “Do you remember when you said that I was yours?”
I grinned. “I remember.”
A sexy smirk splashed across her face. “I might be yours, but do you know what else t
hat means?”
I folded an arm behind my head, while my other hand caressed her bare leg. “No, sweetheart. What does it mean?”
Her body inched lower until our chests were touching and our heartbeats matched.
Placing her mouth directly over mine, she whispered, “Mine, Jase. You’re all mine, cowboy.”
I palmed the back of her head and growled, crashing my lips to hers, taking every ounce of Cassie I could. I was hers and she was mine and there was nothing that would ever change that. Even if tragedy ever struck down the road, I’d always still be a chapter in her life. One she’d never forget. No one could ever take that away from either of us.
***
We lay there, our naked bodies tangled in the bed sheets. My fingers drifted over her blonde hair and down her neck as she rested on my chest.
“Jase?”
“Yeah?”
She ruffled in her spot and knelt, holding the comforter up to her bare chest. “Can we talk about something?”
I rolled to my side and propped my head in my hand. “Of course. I’m all ears, sweetheart.”
“What happens next?”
I arched a brow. “Encore?”
A nervous laugh escaped her. “No, I’m being serious.” She stared at me and gulped so loudly, I heard it. “What happens to us? Where do we go from here?” Her grip around the comforter tightened and her chin dropped. “I’m not ready to leave. I don’t want to say goodbye to you, this town . . .”
The blanket fell from my chest as I sat up and lifted her chin. There was no better time than now. Before I knew it, both of my hands framed her cheeks. “What do you want, Cassie?”
“I thought I wanted to run away, figure out my life. But being here with you has changed everything.”
Staring into those beautiful eyes, I smiled. “What if I asked you to stay?” Nerves tingled through my veins.
“You would want me to stay?”
She had no idea. “More than you’ll ever know. God, I feel like a new man. You’ve breathed life into me I never knew existed. And that’s all because of you. Because of us. I thought I was living, but it turns out I was just waiting for you so I could start my life.” So I could learn how to love.
“Oh, Jase,” she whispered, tears welling.
“I’ll help you raise this baby, sweetheart. I’ll be everything you need in a man. If you’ll let me, if you want me?”
Tears sprang free and cascaded down her cheeks. I wiped away as many as I could. “You’d do that for me?” she cried, and within seconds I cradled her to my chest.
“I’d give you the world if I could,” I said, my mouth against her soft hair.
She pulled away from me, concern etched on her face. “We need to talk to your parents, Jase. What if they say no?”
“We do,” I agreed. “But they’d never say no. I’m pretty sure they love you more than me.”
She giggled through the last of her tears. “I feel like we just made the biggest life decision we could in a span of ten minutes and instead of freaking out, I’m ready to start this life. What are we going to do, Jase?”
“Anything we want.” The world was ours for the taking.
“What if . . .” Her gaze drifted down to the comforter, her nails picking at the fabric. “Would you want to go back to college?” She lifted her chin, meeting my wide stare.
“College?” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Oh, man. I haven’t thought about college in a long time.” I sighed, thinking about the outcome being the same as before when I tried and it was too much.
A warm hand caressed my cheek, and I peered into golden specks. “I’ll be there with you. Every step of the way. I’ll find you a dialysis center. We’ll take a few classes at a time. Classes that we want to take. We’ll have fun and be young.” She peered down at her stomach for a quick second then back at me. “I mean I’ll have a baby, but we can still make this work, right?”
I nodded, grabbing her hand and holding it to my chest, the same one that was beating like crazy. “We’ll have a baby, and we’ll make it all work.” Her smile reached her eyes. I knew in that moment I’d do anything she wanted, as long as we were together. “College it is, sweetheart.”
“We’re in this together,” she murmured, leaping into my arms, knocking me back. “Forever, Jase. Forever.”
I tightened my grip around her. “I’m never letting go.”
***
She was beautiful and sleeping like a baby. A sneaky grin curved my lips as her breathing grew heavier. Now was the perfect time. I snuck out of bed and tiptoed to the right side of my dresser, pulling the bottom drawer open. The same one I had told Cassie to stay out of.
This very spot housed all of my secrets. My letters from Dan that Mom had no clue he wrote, even a book he’d sent me that there was no way in hell I was going to read. There was also pictures of Anna and me that for some reason I hadn’t, or better yet, couldn’t get rid of back then.
I peered down at one of Anna and me smiling in front of the tree and I cringed. God, I was an idiot. I flipped them over and made a mental note to trash all of those pictures in the morning. But right now, I had to do something special for Cassie, my sweetheart. My plan for her letter was ingenious really. And honestly, I wouldn’t have come up with it if it weren’t for her telling me the story of her happiest memory.
I smiled as I pushed stuff out of the way and eased the black journal out of its shopping bag. It was smooth, like the velvet on my cowboy hats. I loved it, but what I loved even more was that I was about to write her letter on the first page. She’d have it forever. It would be the first thing she’d see every time she opened it to scribble something from her heart. And that’s what I had hoped for. For her to write not the perfect story, but the story that was perfect for her. One she’d pour herself into and read back with nothing but the good kind of feels.
It was my gift to her and maybe, just maybe, part of me hoped she’d write our story.
Slipping back into bed, I glanced at my sleeping beauty and grinned. The world was her oyster. And I hope she knew meeting me was just the beginning. Knowing exactly what to say, I touched the edge of my pen to the blank white paper and let my heart bleed onto the page.
PART THREE
“LETTING GO”
“Because in the end, everything will be okay. It has to be.” – Jase
One
THE DAY HAD STARTED LIKE any other since Cassie moved down to my room. We woke up wrapped in each other’s arms, got dressed, and were getting ready to go meet Moose at the diner for a late breakfast, but in the blink of an eye, everything changed.
Shockwaves rolled through me as I ended the phone call with Dr. Burke.
Surreal.
And as I stood frozen in my room, completely unaware of my surroundings, I had to ask myself if this was it. Was I really about to get another chance in life?
My heart slammed inside my chest, threatening to bust free as the news I received moments ago made its way through my body.
“Jason, we have a kidney for you.”
Tingles scattered down my spine and I sucked in a sharp breath.
“We need you here as soon as possible. We’ll be waiting for you.”
Adrenaline pumped through my veins.
This was real, and it was happening to me. I was getting another kidney. Another chance. By the end of the day, I would have everything I ever wished for.
Cassie inched forward, cheeks slack.
My lips parted. “It’s time.” Still running on fumes of surprise, I flipped my phone closed.
Cassie’s eyebrows shot up like rockets, her breath catching. “You’re not kidding, are you?”
I sure hoped this wasn’t a joke. It would’ve been the worst prank anyone could play on a guy like me. A call that told him he wasn’t living on borrowed time anymore. “No,” I answered and shook my head. “This is it, sweetheart. It’s real. I have a kidney waiting for me.”
Shattered links that had been b
roken for so long were locking pieces of my life back together. I wanted to pause this moment so I could savor it. Look back on this and remember the exact spot I stood in, the way Cassie’s lips trembled, the way she stared at me with such love. How every damn thing in my life was so real, so perfect.
“Oh my God,” she cried, wiping the tears away, hands trying to keep up as they poured relentlessly.
A tight band coiled around my heart. She was crying for me. Her joy matched my own. Unfortunately, as her tears continued to stream, so did the stinging behind my eyes. Pulling Cassie into my arms, I held her against my chest and hugged her. Remembering the way she felt against me, how perfectly she fit snuggled up to my body, and knowing that I’d get to feel this every day, for the rest of my life.
Resting my cheek on her head, I murmured, “You’re going to make me cry.” This was supposed to be a happy moment. Seeing someone cry always made my chest constrict and my nose burn. And then it brought back memories of hospital beds and diagnoses and everything that wasn’t happy. There was nothing cheerful about tears. Even if sometimes we felt the need to release joy in that way.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, and I clenched my jaw, determined to hold it together. “I just didn’t think you’d get one so soon.”
Me either.
“You’re my good luck charm, I guess.” Since that sunny day we met, she seemed like the light I’d been searching for. A lucky horseshoe, a wishbone, a shooting star, nothing could even compare to the windfall she’d brought with her to Keaton. And now it was time to let the lucky streak continue and finally give back to her what she’d given to me.
“We gotta go, sweetheart.” Part of me didn’t want to leave this room, this spot we’d been rooted to for the past few minutes. It was bittersweet. Right now things were perfect, and I knew when we got to the hospital they would turn chaotic. What could I say? Surgery scared me. But as long as my pretty girl was by my side, I could do anything … right?
“Okay,” she whispered, tears slipping into the corners of her mouth.