Made to Love

by Medina, Heidi

  “I do, oh indeed I do.” He laughed and I threw a rubber band at him.

  “Was there a reason why you’re here?”

  He sobered up. “Yes, about that. What’s up with Brooke? The word is out she’s quit. Know anything about that?”

  My mouth fell open. Brooke had quit? What? Surely that wasn’t right. It was just the work rumor mill running wild. Brooke loved this job. Oh my god, she quit?

  “I’m gonna guess by the unattractive way your mouth is imitating the Grand Canyon that you are not aware of this interesting development.”

  I snapped my mouth shut. “No, I—are you sure? I know she is out today but I’m sure it’s just a one day thing. She didn’t just quit.”

  Bailey shrugged. “Her resignation was received in HR this morning, signed by Roger Preston himself. I can’t believe you didn’t know. You live with her. I’m gonna need you to step it up,” he admonished, snapping his fingers at me.

  I didn’t even take his bait and snap back at him, still too in shock from his words. “Do you know why?”

  He held his arms out to his sides and shrugged again. “That’s what I was asking you. But you don’t know,” he replied sadly. “Well, whatever the reason, it had to be a good one. I hear Roger Preston is on his way home and he’s royally pissed.”

  “More than usual?” I questioned, still lost in thought.

  Bailey laughed. “I know, right?” He stood up. “Anyway, let me know if you do hear anything.”

  I barely acknowledged his departure as I stared unseeing at my computer screen. In the short time I had lived with Brooke, if there was one thing I had learned, it was that she loved her job. She had no boyfriend that I knew of, and outside of dinners with Gabby and Paul, and the occasional night out with me, her entire life centered around the work she did for Elite. So I had been a little concerned over finding out she was taking the day off. Not because a girl couldn’t get sick, but it had just seemed odd. Now, she had apparently quit? Something was definitely wrong.

  I dialed her number on my cell, but hung up after it went to voicemail. I went about cleaning up my email inbox, but the situation with Brooke was never far from my mind. I didn’t know if I should rush home after work and demand an explanation or if I should just keep my distance and let her come to me. I wasn’t good at this kind of thing.

  I met Nathan for lunch that afternoon at a deli several blocks over that he seemed convinced was far enough away from the office that we would remain unseen. He’d been intrigued over the news about Brooke, but hadn’t said much other than again reassuring me I had nothing to worry about when it came to her spilling the beans about us. Again, I wasn’t sure I shared his confidence.

  I tried Brooke again after lunch, to no avail. I left the office as soon as I could and headed home, uncertain about what I would face when I got there. For all I knew, Brooke could still be closeted in her room.

  But she wasn’t.

  She was sitting cross legged on the couch when I walked in the apartment, wrapped in a blanket, and her hair up in a sloppy knot on top of her head. She didn’t even glance my way when I came in, and simply stared ahead at the TV.

  I grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and flopped down in the chair beside her. A rough looking group of guys on motorcycles drove across the screen. I looked over at her, but she continued to stare mindlessly at whatever show was playing.

  This was getting more than slightly ridiculous.

  “Brooke? What are we doing?”

  She pulled the blanket up around her shoulders. “I am watching Netflix. Did you know that Peg Bundy is on a show called Sons of Anarchy? I started watching it last night. It’s pretty good, actually.”

  What was she talking about? Who cared about Peg Bundy, or Katey something-or-other? I reached over and hit the mute on the remote, causing her to finally look at me.

  “It really is good. You should watch it. Netflix has all the previous seasons if you want to binge watch.”

  “I’m sure it is, but is that really what you want to talk about right now?”

  She looked back at the TV. “What else is there?”

  My eyes widened. She was being deliberately bitchy and I suddenly wanted to slap her. “I don’t know, maybe we could talk about the rumor flying around that you quit Elite?” My tone was more snippy that I had intended, and her head snapped back as she looked at me again.

  “Only if we can talk about you and Nathan Preston,” she shot back, the challenge in her voice clearly evident. This was not the Brooke I had been living with for the last month, and I was determined to find out what had happened.

  “Really?” I leaned forward in my chair. “Why did you quit Elite, Brooke?”

  “Why do you have a dress in your closet that you say isn’t yours but you won’t let anyone touch it? Whose is it and why the big mystery?”

  I felt anger flare up within me. Brooke had been a bitch since I’d came home the day before, and while I knew me and Nathan would be a little unsettling at first, this couldn’t possibly be about that any longer. Or at least not all of it. She was too pissed. And to bring up my mom’s dress?

  Unbelievable.

  She reached over and unmute the TV. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

  Okay, enough was enough.

  I stood up and walked in front of her, effectively blocking her view of whatever she was watching. “Okay.” I rested my hands on my hips as we stared at each other. I couldn’t believe what I was about to say. “Fine. The dress belonged to my mother. And yes, I went to Boston with Nathan, and yes he fucked me the whole time we were there. Does that mean we are together? I have no idea, but I plan to see him again and yes, the fucking will most definitely continue. Is that enough information for you?”

  Whatever I had expected Brooke to say in response, the tears that suddenly pooled in her eyes threw me. I didn’t understand what was going on and I threw my hands up in frustration. “What? You were the one who told me to go for it, remember? What is wrong? Why did you quit Elite?”

  She shifted her gaze to look out the window as a single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away and let out a humorless chuckle. “You’re right. I did tell you that.” Another tear escaped, but she didn’t bother with that one. “But that was before.”

  I cocked my head to the side, completely confused. I took a deep breath. “Before what?” I calmly asked.

  “That was before. Back when I was still sleeping with his dad and dreaming of being the future Mrs. Preston.”

  I felt the breath leave my body as I became very still. Brooke and Roger Preston? The idea was laughable. He was married. And a giant asshole. Brooke and Roger Preston? I had no words.

  She turned back to face me and cocked an eyebrow. “Weren’t expecting that, now were you?”

  I slowly walked back over to the chair and fell in it. “I don’t. . . .”

  “It’s okay. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that.” She sighed and pressed the power button on the remote, turning the TV off. “I’m sorry about all of it.”

  I knew she was apologizing for her behavior the last twenty-four hours, but my mind was still reeling from the news that she’d been sleeping with Roger Preston. Did Nathan know?

  But of course he must have. Why else was he so confident she wouldn’t be so quick to tell everyone I was sleeping with the boss’s son? Because she was sleeping with the boss himself.

  “It started by accident, you know? He was always such an incredible jerk and scared the hell out of me, but it was a good job, better than I’d ever had, and so I was determined to stick it out. No matter how much of a dick he was, I just took it all in stride, and made sure I was the best damn assistant I could be. I learned everything I could about that man, knew his schedule better than he did.” She stared back out the window, lost in thought for a moment. “I had things ready for him before he even knew he needed them. And then one day, it just. . . .” her voice trailed off, but I rem
ained silent, barely breathing as I waited for her to continue.

  She cleared her throat and shrugged. “I don’t know, it just happened. He grabbed my arm when I had turned to walk away and there was just this look in his eye. Maybe it was real, or maybe by then I just saw what I wanted to see, but it was almost as if there was a vulnerability there. And I didn’t think about it. I just kissed him. And next thing I knew, he picked me up and I was against the wall.” She sniffed and wiped her cheeks. “We never spoke about it after that. But it happened again three days later, and a week after that, and pretty soon it was all the time. On business trips, in the office after everyone had left, obscure hotels on the weekend. Even here sometimes, before you moved in. And I. . .I fell in love with him.”

  I had no idea how to process what she was telling me. I still could not reconcile the Roger Preston I knew with the one Brooke was now describing to me. I closed my eyes against the mental image of the two of them fucking in his office. Maybe there was a reason no one ever set foot on the thirteenth floor.

  My god, did anyone at the office know? “How did. . . . I mean. . .what about his—“

  “His wife?” Brooke laughed, but again there was little humor. “Katherine Preston is a raging alcoholic. She has been since they lost their son two years ago. But they’d been having problems long before that. I know that appearances are everything to Roger, but I foolishly continued to believe that one day he would leave and we would be together. And to be honest, I didn’t let myself think much about Katherine. Dumb, isn’t it?”

  “What happened while you were in Tokyo?” Because whatever it was, I was now convinced it was the real reason for her actions since yesterday.

  “It was so stupid, really. He’d snapped at a waitress while we were out and I told him he was being ridiculous. We fought about it the whole way back to our hotel. It wasn’t like we hadn’t had disagreements before, I mean, this is Roger Preston. But when we got to our room, he told me I wasn’t his wife so I should stop acting as if I were. And it was like, BAM! Ever have one of those epiphany moments where suddenly something becomes so clear? It was like that. For the first time, I could see myself and the situation I was in, and I hated it. I wasn’t his wife, and I wasn’t ever going to become his wife. I would always be the secretary that felt she needed to validate her existence by sleeping with her boss. For all the moments between us, whether real or imagined, I was still just his piece of ass on the side. I had become the cliché. So, I left. Packed my stuff up and hid out in the room we always booked in my name, for appearances, you know. And the next day I changed my flight and came home. I didn’t even tell him.” Brooke dragged in a deep breath, as if suddenly exhausted after having divulged so much information. “Of course, he didn’t even bother coming to my room to check on me, apologize, nothing. He probably just assumed I’d get over myself and crawl back in his bed during the night. I’m ashamed to say it wouldn’t have been the first time.”

  We sat in silence for several minutes. I couldn’t exactly sit in judgement; less than thirty days at Elite, dancing around the inevitable with Nathan, and I’d caved. But then, Nathan wasn’t married.

  “Brooke, I had no idea. No idea.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you when you got home yesterday. It was just all these emotions, realizing that after a year and a half, I was never going to be more than a convenience, and I was just so angry. And then you walked in with Nathan. And I just kinda snapped.”

  I nodded in acceptance of her apology. “So what now?”

  “Well, for starters, we might have to find a new place to live.” She lifted her shoulders at my shocked expression. “Roger—well, Elite—pays for this apartment. He paid me well, but still not enough to afford this place.” She held up a hand as my mouth opened to speak. “I cashed your rent checks but put them in a savings account at the bank. All your money is still there; don’t worry.”

  “And then I’m going to have to find another job, obviously.” She closed her eyes, and leaned her head back against the couch. “God, he was furious when I emailed him my resignation. He called me, and we argued all morning, but he signed it. It isn’t his choice, it’s mine.”

  I fiddled with the label on my water bottle. “What about work? I mean, could you maybe work in another department or something?” I hated the idea of her losing the job she loved so much. “What if word about this gets out. . .”

  Brooke opened one eye and glanced over at me, before closing it again. “I’m not that naïve to think people don’t already know about us, no matter the lengths we took to remain secret. No one will ever say anything, though.” She lifted her head and looked at me. “Would you take on Roger Preston?”

  Good point.

  “And I think it’s best I just sever all ties. Even if I didn’t work for Roger, I’d be in the same building, and we’d both know it. I want to say I can be around him and not want to rip his clothes off, but I’m not there yet.”

  I still couldn’t believe I was hearing Roger Preston and ripping his clothes off in the same sentence, but then again, he was Nathan’s father. And I was finding I had no problem whatsoever dropping my panties for that man, so I guess a little understanding was warranted.

  But she wasn’t done. “What’s the big deal about Helen’s dress? Did you steal it or something?”

  I heaved a sigh. I’d been hoping she’d avoid the subject further. “It isn’t Helen’s.” Confusion marred her features and I held up a hand. “I met Helen when I was thirteen years old. It was my birth mother’s dress, and one of the only things I have left from her.” I swallowed, painful memories clogging my throat. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t get into my life before Helen right now. I just can’t.”

  Brooke opened her mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again. It was several moments before she spoke. “I didn’t know, Reagan. . .I. . .whatever happened, just know that I’m here if you ever want to talk, okay?” I nodded, and she seemed to sense my sudden somber mood. She brightened and changed the subject. “So. About you and Nathan.”

  I covered my face with my hands and groaned. I’d been hoping she’d be done with that, too. , But Brooke was not to be deterred. “I’m not mad, and I’m not going to give you a lecture, okay? But I’d be lying if I said that his reputation didn’t precede him. He wears the Preston name, and he wears it well. I’m just saying be careful, that’s all.”

  “Okay,” I replied through my hands, before letting them fall. “That’s all? You’re not going to ask for details?”

  Brooke laughed. “Oh, I’m gonna need details. I’m just giving you about thirty seconds of lead time before the hard questions start. You ain’t getting off that easy.”

  I sighed, picked up my cell and dialed a nearby Chinese restaurant. “Okay, but we’re gonna need food first.”

  Nathan

  I rolled over and fumbled for my phone. Five-thirty in the morning; entirely too early. I tossed the phone back down, cursing the need to take a piss that had woken me up in the first place. Reagan was still sleeping, curled on her side next to me and I didn’t want to leave the warm sanctuary of her bed.

  But mother nature would not be ignored. I quietly got up, threw on my jeans and headed to the bathroom. I was on my way back to the bedroom, anxious to perhaps bury myself in Reagan once more before I left for home, when I passed the kitchen and saw someone standing there in the dim light. Brooke.

  Shit.

  We stared at each other for a moment, before she shook her head and turned to the Keurig and picked up her mug. We hadn’t seen each other much in the week since she’d quit Elite and Reagan and I’d began our sleepovers. While we’d spent most of the last week at my place, we had spent a few nights here. Of course, Reagan was still insisting on propriety, and therefore one of us was always waking early to scurry back home before the rest of the city woke up. I was growing weary of the subterfuge, but it was working for now, and I hadn’t put much thought into an alternative.


  Brooke had only been seen once in the last week, and that was just long enough for her to enter the apartment and make a beeline straight for her room. Reagan had said Brooke was no longer openly hostile about our relationship, but I suspected her embarrassment at having to face the son of the man she’d been sleeping with, especially now that I officially knew, was enough for her to keep her distance.

  But now, she’d seen me and I’d seen her. There was no point in pretending otherwise. May as well get this over with.

  “Good morning, Brooke.” I broke the silence and casually entered the kitchen, busying myself with making my own cup of coffee.

  Brooke let out the breath she was holding, but didn’t turn around. “Good morning.”

  I knew I needed to address the affair with her, not because I felt it was my business, but because it was time this tension and awkwardness be done. She was Reagan’s roommate; it wasn’t as if we could avoid each other forever. I slowly walked around toward the table until I was in her line of view. “So, I see this going one of two ways: We can either continue avoiding each other—which, considering the fact that I find your roommate’s company utterly fascinating, is going to be problematic—or we can discuss the obvious and move on.”

  She stared at me a moment and then raised an eyebrow. “Utterly fascinating?”

  I dipped my head. “Overwhelmingly so.” I settled myself onto a chair and leaned back. “So which is it?”

  Brooke’s eyes widened slightly as she took a sip of her coffee. She surprised me by walking over and flopping into the chair across from me. “Let’s get on with it,” she replied, with a wave of her hand.

  “Well, first, I know why you quit Elite,” I began.

  “I would only be surprised if you didn’t,” she answered. “To be honest, I’m actually kinda surprised you didn’t know before now.”

  I had had my suspicions but there was no need to tell her that.

  “I feel terrible, Nathan. I don’t want it to be awkward between us either, what with you finding Reagan so utterly fascinating and all, and I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what to say to you. I mean, it’s your dad.”