Sydell Voeller Special Edition

by Sydell Voeller

  At last she came to the cooler, compact ribbon of beach closer to the water's edge. She stopped, shading her eyes and again turned her attention towards the copter. It was fluttering above the rocky promontory like a great silver hummingbird. Suddenly the helicopter lifted, its blades chopping the air as it turned southward, then disappeared out of sight.

  A sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She turned her gaze to the expanse of beach, the sea, the sky. “If only I could've been here when he left,” she cried aloud. “Maybe I could've stopped him. Maybe... somehow...” A surge of tears welled up in her eyes, a sob caught in the back of her throat.

  “No. If anyone should've stopped him, it was me, not you.”

  She spun around and spotted Lowell gazing down at her. Where had he come from? How long had he been following her? She'd never even heard footsteps.

  “Lowell! I...I didn't think anyone else was here. Especially not you,” she blurted.

  He cupped his hand on her shoulder and his warm, strong grip seemed to sear through her. His piercing blue eyes appeared nearly as blue as the water itself as his gaze held hers. “I was on my way to pick up the new order of lumber. I noticed your car, and saw you take the turn off to the beach.”

  “But...but why? Why did you decide to follow me?”

  “All morning I've been arguing with myself, knowing I had to talk to you. When I spotted you driving in front of me, I knew I couldn't put it off a minute longer.”

  “Put off talking to me? About what?”

  His gaze held hers. “I'm going with you, Vanessa. I can't let you do this alone.”

  * * *

  “Off at last,” Vanessa said to Lowell as she maneuvered the motor boat away from the dock. She was still numb with disbelief. He'd agreed to help her. At least for this one day.

  “I hope the weather cooperates,” he said, casting a wary look at the sky. “The forecaster on the morning news predicted showers.” He was sitting next to her, dressed in a pale blue tank top and light tan walking shorts. Every now and then, his shoulder brushed hers, sending tremors of excitement down her spine. How was she going to keep focused on looking for her father when Lowell's very presence was causing her heart to beat in double time?

  The wind lifted her hair as they entered the mouth of the bay. White-tipped waves rippled the Sound.

  “You remembered to bring your rain slicker, I hope,” he commented matter-of-factly.

  She gave him a mock salute. “Aye, aye captain! Right in my gym bag. What about you?”

  “Yep. Prepared as always. Rain gear. N'orwester hat.” He nodded to the khaki green pack he'd stuffed beneath the rear seat. “My years as a Boy Scout paid off after all. I even have the merit badges to prove it.”

  “Listen to you,” she teased. “A big tough L.A. cop bragging about Boy Scout badges.”

  The light-hearted exchange felt wonderful, she told herself as they puttered past a commercial fishing boat. She needed this fleeting reprieve. The stress of the past couple of days was frazzling her nerves. And Lowell's heart-stopping grin...ah, shades of years past.

  Sighing, she pictured the look on his face the time he discovered she'd slathered the inside of his sleeping bag with shaving cream while he and Andy were getting ready for a weekend camping trip with the Eagle Scouts. And the night he'd stopped by for a barbecue with her family and she'd stuck fake plastic ice cubes into his lemonade glass--the kind of fake ice cubes that contained equally fake ants in the middle.

  In both instances, Lowell had playfully threatened to throttle her, and she'd been beside herself with happiness. At last, if only for a moment, she'd managed to capture his attention. Quickly she pushed away the memories. The important thing now was the search.

  “Take my binoculars,” she said. “They're right below your seat. See if you can spot any distress signals on a beach, or maybe smoke from a campfire.”

  He did as she'd said, scanning the horizon, while she concentrated on navigating the boat.

  “See anything?” she asked.

  “No. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

  Turning the boat into the wind, they continued north. A fine spray misted her sunglasses. She licked her lips, catching a hint of saltiness. On the shoreline, red-barked madronnas glistened while farther inland, groves of Douglas fir intermingled with birch and cedar. Straight ahead clusters of smaller islands dotted the inlet like sun-washed emeralds.

  “So what are your plans after we come to the peninsula?” Lowell asked, resting the binoculars on his lap.

  “We can tie up near the tide flats,” she answered. “Then head back to that stretch of forest inland. If Dad was trying to find shelter, I suspect it would've been there. He used to go bear hunting in those woods, but ever since he decided to get involved with conservation efforts a year or two ago, he turned in his rifle for a camera.”

  Lowell nodded. “I'm well acquainted with that part of the peninsula too. Andy and I used to go clam digging over there on that short stretch of beach. Man, did we ever have some great times.”

  “You did? You crossed the channel alone?” Alarm filled her.

  “Yep.”

  “But the channel was off-limits. My folks always warned us--you too--about strong currents.”

  One corner of his mouth turned up. “Our families never had a clue, we made sure of that. We also liked to climb the girders at Moser's Bridge and see how far we could dare each other to edge out over the water.”

  “No! You must be kidding!”

  “'Fraid not.”

  She darted him a look. “Poor Mama. Perhaps it’s good she didn't know. If she'd suspected even half of what you two were doing, she'd have been nuts with worry. Your mother too.”

  “Don't think we didn't realize that,” he answered. “But as the old saying goes, boys will be boys, and I guess our search for adventure outweighed common sense. Now when I look back, I know I wouldn't want any kid of mine to pull the stunts I used to.” He shook his head and added, “God knows, my mother certainly didn't need any more worries than she already had.”

  “Why do you suppose your parents didn't stay together?”

  “Most likely it was because they were married much too young. Barely out of high school. I suppose my father wasn't ready for the responsibility of raising a family. At any rate, we never heard from him again after he split.” A frown puckered Lowell's mouth. “He might as well have been dead as far as we were concerned.”

  “Oh no! How can you say that?”

  “It's true. He never phoned. He never came back for a visit. Not even a birthday card or a letter for any of us.”

  She bit her lip, glancing down at the depth-finder. No wonder he'd taken to her father so that year before he'd left the island.

  At the thought of Eldon, a pang shot through her. Dad, where are you? You've got to be somewhere. You've got to be alive. Today marked the second full day since his disappearance. How long could he stay well without his heart medicine?

  Lowell must've sensed her thoughts. “How many pills was Eldon taking?”

  “One on a daily basis,” she answered, steering the boat into deeper waters to avoid an underlying reef. “A Digitoxin preparation to help control his erratic heartbeat. The other, his Nitro, is for whenever he's having chest pain.”

  Lowell's expression was sober. “I know all about the nitro. These past few weeks, he's needed it several times.”

  “Several times?” Were her ears deceiving her?

  “That's right.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Her spirits sank. “Did Dad tell his doctor about this?”

  “I doubt it. You know Eldon. It was always hard to get him to go to a doctor in the first place. Besides, he never wanted anyone to fuss over him.”

  “So true.” She exhaled slowly. “Was Dad under a lot of stress lately, Lowell? Was he working harder than he should've been?”

  “Not that I was aware of--though I have to
admit, I may have missed any signs.”

  The peninsula was in plain view now. The narrow beach shimmered in the afternoon sun while the cliffs and forest beyond stretched out like the spiny back of a giant alligator.

  “Maybe those episodes were really nothing,” she mused out loud. “I mean, maybe it was simply some indigestion or a pulled muscle.”

  “Hmm.” He looked doubtful.

  “We can't dismiss that possibility, Lowell,” she pointed out. Overhead a seagull screeched while it drifted on a current of air. “Dad used to have an ulcer, you know. There's nothing saying it couldn't have come back.”

  “No, I suppose not. But just make sure you're not denying the obvious, Vanessa. Heart disease is nothing to mess around with.”

  She stiffened. “I'm a psychologist, remember. I know all about denial. If you're insinuating--”

  “I'm only reporting the facts as I witnessed them,” he interrupted her. “Your father's episodes of chest pain were occurring about once every week. That figures on the average of four times a month. Those odds aren't good. Not good at all.”

  Drawing in a steadying breath, she looked the other way. Reports. Facts. Statistics. Just like a cop. He might think she was in denial, but that simply wasn't true. No one realized more fully the ups and downs of Eldon's life, especially now that her mother and Andy were gone. How could she be so attracted to a man who was so incompatible with her? One thing she knew for certain. She wasn't ready to deal with his cold, hard world.

  One hour merged into the next. By early evening they'd turned back. So far they'd found nothing...

  “When we get back to the North Spit,” Vanessa said, “let's talk with the officers at the Coast Guard station. See whether they've learned anything while we've been away.”

  “I was just about ready to suggest that myself. Clinton said the Coast Guard would maintain their search efforts till dark, but surely the officers back at the station will know something.”

  Later, after tying up at the public dock, they trekked down the ribbon of beach that led to the Coast Guard Station. It'd been a long, exhausting day. She was tired of thinking about where to look next. Tired of speculating what might've happened to her father. Somehow, too, her thoughts kept swinging back to Lowell's proclamation late last night. Police work has a way of taking its toll. Whatever had prompted his need to flea back to the islands, it was apparent he'd been affected by it greatly. Once again the possibilities paraded through her mind.

  “Lowell...” She stopped in her tracks and turned to face him. The wind was tousling his hair. He looked so alive. So incredibly handsome.

  “Yes?”

  She drew in a breath, posing the question that had been plaguing her ever since they'd met again. “You've been married, haven't you? Your work on the police force interfered with your marriage.”

  He gave a quick, derisive laugh. “There you go again. Worrying about me. I'm not one of your clients, and you're certainly not my shrink. Most of all, I'm not here to focus on relationships--professional or otherwise. But I will say this much. You're wrong about the marriage bit. I've always been single.”

  “I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to over-step my boundaries.”

  His eyes were forgiving as he flashed her a grin. “You always were a snoopy little thing, weren't you? Andy used to complain how you'd sometimes listen in on his phone calls.”

  “So?” she taunted him. “Isn't that what little sister's are supposed to do?” Try as she did, she couldn't ignore the powerful force drawing her to him, the attraction that was spiraling nearly out-of-control.

  “I don't know. I never had one.” This time his look remained closed.

  As they strode on, Lowell took her hand in his. Confusion swept over her. What did it mean to Lowell, this physical contact? His large hand clasped around hers felt protective, commanding--and not entirely just a brotherly gesture.

  The sun, a fiery red ball, was sinking below the west horizon. In the last slanting rays, the beach and sky were washed in a rose-sherbet glow.

  Pausing momentarily, they studied a crystalline tidal pool, commenting on its beauty. On the outer rim of rocks, tight clusters of dark-blue and white mussels clung with glue like tenacity. Inside, a rust-colored hermit crab skittered beneath a cluster of green flowered sea anemones.

  Yet the peacefulness surrounding them seemed to make a mockery of Vanessa's churning thoughts. Not only was Lowell's enigmatic behavior weighing heavy on her mind, but their afternoon on the peninsula had been exhausting. After crossing the tidelands, they'd hiked through the forest for nearly six miles. And all the while, she couldn't forget Lowell's news about her father's angina attacks. What if Dad was in serious trouble right now? What if he'd never left the “Lady Luck” alive in the first place?

  With a start, she pushed the frightening thought to the farthest recesses of her mind. No, she had to hold her head high. Her father would be disappointed in her if she gave up so soon.

  Stepping over a gnarled piece of driftwood, she inhaled deeply of the invigorating salt air and felt her tension momentarily drain away. “I can't blame you for coming back here, Lowell. Each time I'm away, I tend to forget how healing it is.”

  “Me too...” His voice trailed as he let go of her hand and held her gaze. “Now it's my turn to ask questions. What about your love life, Vanessa? Any romantic ghosts for you? Fair's fair, you know.”

  “I'm much too busy for romance. And I prefer it that way.”

  “Oh?” The surprise in his voice came through loud and clear.

  “Falling in love requires too much. I...I'm not willing to pay the price.”

  He stopped walking and tipped her chin up with his hand, facing her squarely. “You speak from past experience?”

  She could only lift one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug.

  “What kind of answer is that? Especially after you accused me of being evasive?”

  “Well,” she paused, “of course there have been a few men.”

  “Not surprising.” His eyes roved over her appreciatively.

  “But nothing ever came of my relationships with them,” she was quick to point out. “They've remained only friends. Some were willing to go along with that and stick around on my terms. The others who wanted more...well,” she shrugged again, “they simply moved on to greener pastures.”

  “You mean you never wanted to a permanent commitment?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “If I were to fall in love, perhaps even marry, I'd only put myself in jeopardy. My husband might die. Just like Mom and Andy did--and...and now maybe Dad.”

  His face darkened. “That may be true. But you're much too young and pretty. Don't hide yourself away forever, Vanessa.”

  “Far better a contented spinster, than a heart-broken widow.”

  “I can't believe you really mean that.”

  “Well, believe it. I've never meant anything more.” Overhead a seagull shrieked, then swooped down onto the sand.

  “Look...” He pursed his lips, as if considering how to go on. “I'm going to give you some brotherly advice--just like Andy would do if he were here right now.”

  “I thought you didn't want to talk about relationships,” she reminded him tersely.

  “This is different. This time we're talking about you.”

  “So there's a double standard? What applies to you doesn't apply to me?”

  “I'm sorry. I'm just trying to look out for you. Andy would expect that much of me. I know he would.”

  She ignored the sting of truth underscoring his words. “I can't argue that Andy would want you to help me look for Dad. After all, I was the one who first suggested that. But I know Andy wouldn't want you to try to run my life. Leave that up to me, Lowell. I'm a big girl now.”

  “Fair enough. I don't need a therapist and you don't need a big brother. Right?”

  “Exactly.”

  He let out a slow, shaky breath. “So on to other things...l
ike where are you living on the mainland? Where do you call home?”

  Her stomach was still turning somersaults, but she willed her voice to sound casual. “I rent a condo in Edmonds, about a fifteen minute drive north of the university. Edmonds is a lovely little town with several restaurants overlooking the beach, a ferry that goes to Kingston, and lots of quaint gift shops and boutiques.”

  “Yes, I drove through there once.” He hesitated. “So how long can you stay this summer? When must you go back?”

  “I'm afraid I'm here on limited time--just like you. I told my colleagues at the university I'll return in about four weeks. I must get back to my teen support group too. The kids are depending on me.” She paused as two joggers in grey sweats passed by.

  “Have you talked to Ruby yet?” he asked. The summer before his senior year in high school, Lowell had worked for Ruby's husband, doing odd jobs at the cabins. He'd grown fond of the older couple, as had practically everyone else who had also known them.

  “I've only talked with her briefly. We plan to visit more as soon as I get back tonight. I told Clinton to make sure she stays till I get there.” A smile lifted Vanessa's lips. “And I'm sure she'll take every opportunity to do just that--and then some. It sounds as if she hasn't given up on my uncle and whether he realizes it or not, he's eventually going to come around.”

  “Ah ha!” Lowell gave a deep-throated chuckle. “Maybe I should warn Clinton before it's too late and he finds himself in the clutches of this scheming female.”

  “Don't you dare! Ruby would be perfect for him, whether she's scheming or--” She broke off suddenly, pointing about fifteen feet out into the water. “Look! Sea otters! Maybe a dozen or more. It's been ages since I've seen so many.”

  “Technically they're river otters,” he explained. “In spite of their name, the river otters here in the islands have adapted to salt water quite well. True sea otters are usually spotted farther out past the Straits of Juan De Fuca towards the ocean.”

  The piercing sound of the air station siren sliced through their conversation.

  Vanessa jerked her attention toward the take-off strip where three men were running to a waiting helicopter. In seconds, light flashing, blades pulsating, it ascended, turned sharply, and disappeared over a jagged edge of dark trees.