Hot Rebel

by Lynn Raye Harris

  She was so used to holding her past close that she almost told him to fuck off. And then she decided what the hell. What did it matter? He was risking his life by being here, the same as she was, and while he was doing it for his colonel and a cause, he was still doing it when he didn’t have to. It could have been anyone else in his unit—but it was Nick Brandon, and at least she sort of knew him.

  Besides, part of her wanted him to understand.

  “She used to be a sweet kid. Open, trusting, desperately seeking love and belonging.” Victoria sucked in a sharp breath. “We were orphaned, you see. My grandfather took us in—but then he died and we went into foster care. It didn’t work out so well.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It was a long time ago. No one harmed us. But we were… unwanted, I think. Emily felt it worse than I did because she was younger. I still remember our parents. She doesn’t. Gramps was all we had—and then he was gone.”

  “You think bin Yusuf made her feel as if she belonged somewhere?”

  Victoria swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. Her hands clenched into fists, her nails digging into her palms. She wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t let him know how much she blamed herself. If she’d been there, instead of in the Army…

  “He must have. He’s very… charismatic. He’s obsessed with Americans—or was, anyway. Completely gets the culture and psyche.”

  “You think he singled her out.”

  “I don’t really know. I wasn’t there.” She ran her hands through her hair, scrubbed her scalp as if she could scrub away the bad memories and the guilt. “I joined the Army, looking for a way out, you know? I wanted the security and the college fund. I wanted to make her my dependent, help her get clean. But she took up with Zaran, and that was the end of everything. The Army didn’t appreciate the connection to a radical terrorist, apparently.”

  He was silent for a long moment. “So you left the Army and ended up here.”

  “I have a skill that’s useful. I’ll never get to use the G.I. Bill now, but with the money Ian pays me, I’ll be able to take care of Emily and maybe go to college someday too. It was the best option I had.”

  “I’m not judging you, Victoria.”

  “You already did that, Preacher Boy. A couple of weeks ago, unless my memory fails me.”

  He didn’t even comment on her use of the nickname he hated. “Yeah, I did. But I was fucking pissed. You ruined my shot, and you let that asshole get away.”

  “I had to, don’t you get that?” she snapped. And then she shook her head, wondering how she’d let the conversation get this far away from her. Why had she thought she could spill her guts, even a little bit? There was a price to be paid when you let it all out.

  “He’s the only link I have to Emily. If something happens to him, then what happens to her? I couldn’t take that chance.”

  The silence stretched out between them like a wire pulled tight. “I have a sister,” he finally said.

  His voice was even, mild, and she blinked as if they’d entered a time warp. She’d expected him to say something about what she’d done out there when she’d shot the opposition commander instead of bin Yusuf. Or something about Ian and how dirty he had to be for ordering it done.

  She hadn’t expected him to say he had a sister. It confused her and made a feeling swell in her chest that she didn’t quite know how to process. Her gut reaction was to lash out, to push him away.

  “Congratulations.”

  The minute she snapped at him, she felt sorry for it. But he didn’t snap back.

  “Her name is Shelly and she’s gay. Not that I fucking care, but my parents did. Still do. They disowned her—and I disowned them. So yeah, sweetheart, I get why you’re doing this. I’d do anything to erase the pain of our parents’ betrayal, to make them see that Shel is normal and beautiful just the way she is. But they don’t fucking care. It’s a sin, and Shel is evil in their eyes for not changing to suit them. They don’t care how much they hurt her by refusing to acknowledge her existence.” His fingers tightened on the wheel. “Well, I care. And I’d do anything to make her happy, so yeah, I get it.”

  Her vision was blurry now, damn him. Finally, someone who might really understand. Not just express sympathy and secretly wonder why she didn’t simply let her sister self-destruct. Anyone who was so foolish as to get herself tangled up with a man who professed hatred of the United States and all Americans surely deserved what she got, right?

  Well, not when you could still remember her hugging you tight at night because she was scared of a monster under the bed, or when she followed you on her bike even when you told her not to because you were meeting with your friends and then cried when you got angry and said you didn’t want her around because she was still a baby and you weren’t. Victoria had soothed fears, bandaged scrapes, and taught her sister what it meant when she got her period.

  Gramps had been wonderful, but there were some things he either didn’t think of or didn’t want to think of because he was uncomfortable with them. Ushering two girls into teenage-dom hadn’t been easy, that’s for sure.

  Gramps had told them endless stories about his days in the Army. “We didn’t leave no man behind, little missies. Not ever. You could count on your fellow soldier to take care of you. And you can count on us to take care of each other, am I right?”

  Leave no man behind. That’s what she was doing. Or no woman, in this case. Victoria rolled her fingers into a fist, digging her nails into her palm so she wouldn’t cry at the thought of Emily and all that had gone wrong.

  “Thanks for telling me that,” she said, her voice tight. “Shelly is lucky to have you for a brother.”

  He shrugged, but a muscle in his jaw tensed as if he were suppressing strong emotion. “We’ll find your sister, Victoria. I promise we will.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Nick drove well into the night. When he finally got too tired to keep going, he found a place to pull off the road and park. There were other cars parked along the roadway as well, jammed up in little clusters for safety—or the illusion of safety. The road to the south was well patrolled by government forces, and they’d managed to keep it open for the past couple of months now. But there was always a risk that the opposition forces would cut the roadway off again.

  Victoria sat up as he put the Land Rover in park. She’d been curled into her seat for the past two hours, sleeping. She blinked and pushed her hair out of her face. “Where are we?”

  “Stopping for the night.”

  She peered through the window at the cars. “Is this safe?”

  He let his gaze slide over the other cars. A couple of men had gathered together to smoke and talk, but mostly it was quiet.

  “As safe as anything, I imagine. Better this than pulling off somewhere alone, wouldn’t you say? At least we’re part of a group.”

  “Hmm, maybe so.” She didn’t sound completely convinced.

  He’d disabled the tracking device a few hours ago now, so even if Ian Black was targeting them for someone—feeding information to bin Yusuf—they weren’t easily identifiable at the moment. He’d made Victoria shut off her phone earlier, though she’d argued, but there was really no way he could be certain Black hadn’t tagged her phone. She’d agreed with the logic, though she’d been pissed.

  His phone was fine because it had never been out of his possession, but he’d still turned it off after a quick message to his team leader. Matt Girard would know what to do with the information, and that was the best Nick could hope for.

  “I could drive for a while,” Victoria said. “Get us a bit farther.”

  Nick shook his head. “We’ll stay here for a few hours, then leave again at daylight.”

  He could feel her bristling in the dark. And he just knew that one eyebrow was arched imperiously.

  “Since when are you in charge?”

  “Since you agreed to work for us in exchange for your sister and clearing your name.”

  She w
as silent, and he knew he had her.

  “Fine,” she said after a minute. But she didn’t sound happy about it.

  He opened his door and put a foot out. “I’ll put the seats down in the back, and we can bed down there.”

  Her eyes flashed in the lights from oncoming traffic. “Shouldn’t someone stay in the driver’s seat? Just in case?”

  “We’re armed, Victoria. If anyone fucks with us, I’d rather shoot them than drive over them.”

  “I meant in case we need to escape, dickhead.”

  “I know what you meant. And I don’t think it’s something we have to worry about tonight. We weren’t followed, no one pulled off when we did, and the tracking device was disabled hours ago. I think we can sleep for a few hours—though we’ll sleep with guns beneath our heads.”

  She didn’t say anything else and he powered the windows down an inch or so before he got out and opened the passenger door. The desert was cool at night, thankfully, and all they needed was a little fresh air. Then he went about putting the seats down and shifting their gear until it lined the sides and they could sleep in the middle with their packs as pillows. After the bedding was ready, he shut and locked the driver’s side and then climbed into the back. Victoria didn’t move from her position in the passenger seat as he stretched out as much as was possible for a six-three male inside a vehicle with the seats down.

  He arranged his weapons so he could reach the Sig first. His knife was strapped to one ankle, and he had a smaller pistol strapped to the other.

  “You staying up there?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Suit yourself. Just means I have more room back here.”

  She leaned the seat back a bit, though it didn’t go as far as it might have if he hadn’t put the back seats down.

  “This is the part I hate,” she said after a while. “Sitting and waiting.”

  Nick snorted. “That’s what being a sniper is, honey. But you knew that already.”

  “I know. I like being inside my own head, thinking about things—but the longer I do this, the more I hate the prep. I’d rather just get the job done and go.”

  “Some jobs are that way.”

  “Some. Not enough.”

  Nick shifted to his back and bent his knees. “Where did you learn to shoot?”

  She sighed. “My gramps. He was a Green Beret in Vietnam. He didn’t much know what to do with two little girls, but when he thought we should know how to handle a weapon, I took to it like a fish to water.”

  He could hear the wistfulness in her voice. She’d had a tough life. He was beginning to realize that. His had been tough in a different way, but it hadn’t been as lonely as hers. He’d been surrounded by good people, and he’d been encouraged in every way possible so long as he toed a straight and narrow line. Fishing and hunting had been a way of life where he was from, and he’d grown up with a rifle in his hands. He’d never thought back then, spending his days in the beautiful Ozarks of Missouri, that he’d one day target people with his rifle.

  “That was a beautiful shot you made,” he said. They both knew he was talking about that day two weeks ago in the desert. “I admired the skill even though I was pissed as hell you fucked up my mission.”

  She sighed. “I didn’t know who the target was until I got out there. And I didn’t know bin Yusuf would be there until the last minute. It wasn’t easy to do the job and not accidentally on purpose hit him too.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, I imagine so.” He let out a sigh and put his hands behind his head. He didn’t want to say the next part, but he had to know if she’d considered it. He had to know where her head was. “You know she may already be gone, right? That it could already be too late?”

  “I know.” Her voice was small, and he hated that he’d said anything at all.

  He could hear her breathing and figured she was working hard to hold in her emotions.

  “Victoria…” He wanted to drag her into his arms and hold her close, but he didn’t think she’d welcome it. So he lay there, staring up at the ceiling, and did nothing.

  “I can’t think that way yet.” She sounded almost breathless. “I can’t give up until I have proof.”

  “I understand that. If she’s out there, we’ll find her.”

  “You’re my last hope, Nick. That’s the only reason I’m doing this. I don’t like the way betrayal tastes in my mouth, but I’ll do anything for Emily.”

  “You care about Black.” He didn’t like that she did. Not at all. It made something inside his belly twist and writhe.

  “We’ve been together for two years. He’s always treated me fairly.”

  “And if he set you up? Betrayed you to bin Yusuf?”

  He saw her shake her head in the darkness. “There’s no proof he did.”

  She had a strong sense of loyalty, and this situation had to be testing her to the limit.

  Or maybe not. He had to remember that it was possible she was on Black’s side and this whole thing was a setup for him and HOT. He couldn’t discount anything just because she made him ache with need. In fact, that was probably the best reason of all to be more vigilant than ever.

  “Sometimes there is no proof. Sometimes there’s only a gut feeling.”

  *

  Victoria slept badly, slouched as she was. Finally, when she could take it no more, she crawled into the back of the Land Rover and lay down beside Nick. He was curled on his side, his knees drawn up, and she had to work her way carefully into the hole he’d left for her. The only light was from the stars and a very late-rising moon that was already sinking fast toward the horizon.

  But it was enough to see the curve of his jaw. Her heart thumped, and her fingers ached to reach out and caress the stubbled skin. In spite of everything, in spite of the heartache and danger, she hadn’t stopped thinking of the way his mouth had felt pressed to hers. Of the way her body had lit up like a gasoline-soaked rag, burning hot and fast, and how she’d wanted to cool the flame by merging into him and letting him ease the burn.

  In spite of everything, that knowledge had sat at the bottom of her psyche, teasing her, testing her, making her miserable.

  She turned on her side, away from him, determined to sleep and not look at him. No wonder. She’d just started to drift off when a hand settled on her hip, instantly waking her. Victoria swallowed, her pulse kicking up, and held herself very still. He was asleep and no doubt accustomed to sharing his bed with a woman. A woman he would touch while they lay together.

  Torturous seconds passed, and then his hand slid over her hip, to her belly, and tugged her back against him, fitting her bottom snugly against his groin.

  And oh, he was hard. Full and hard, and big enough that sweat popped out on her skin as she imagined what taking him inside her would feel like. His lips settled on her neck, nibbling softly, and she suppressed a whimper. She should move, she knew she should. She should shove him away, shove herself away, and wake him up with a choice curse or maybe a bite to the hand currently cupping her breast over the fabric of her tank top.

  Her nipple hardened and she had to bite her lip to keep a moan from escaping as his fingers scraped across the surface again and again. She half wanted him to slip his fingers beneath her shirt and touch her bare skin, but if he did that she thought she might come unglued.

  His mouth found her earlobe, his teeth nibbled gently, and liquid heat flooded her. She was wet and hot, and her heart beat hard. She’d been touched before, been kissed, and she’d felt the heat of attraction burning her from the inside out. But she’d never felt quite this way, quite this turned on and aching for a man no matter the consequences. Before, she’d always known what the consequences were, and she’d always managed to use them to stop herself from doing something she might regret.

  Nick turned her in his arms then, his body pressing her down into the carpet, one leg going between hers and putting pressure right on the sweet bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.

  His hand
s slid up her sides, shaping her as his mouth came down on hers. Victoria was too stunned to protest. And too overwhelmed by heat and emotion to care. Her hands went up, presumably to push him away, but instead they wrapped around his neck. Her mouth slipped open as his tongue plunged inside, drawing her into a sensual stroking that made her grow wetter than before.

  He kissed her long and hard before he broke away with a groan, his mouth on her throat, moving down toward her breasts.

  “You’re so fucking hot, Victoria,” he said against her skin, and she stiffened at the sound of her name.

  “You’re awake?” she gasped.

  His head lifted, his brows drawn low. “Of course I’m fucking awake. Would you prefer I did this asleep?”

  She shoved at his mountain of shoulders until he took the hint and rolled away. Victoria scrambled out from under him, her body a mass of thwarted desire and anger.

  “I thought you were asleep!”

  He shoved a hand through his hair. “I kinda was at first, when you lay down. I thought I was… somewhere else. Don’t usually have a woman lying beside me on a job, do I?”

  “But then you realized who I was. And you didn’t stop.” She tried to sound as offended as possible, but even she realized it was pretty ridiculous. She’d had her tongue down his throat too.

  “You didn’t seem as if you wanted me to stop. You were kissing me back. Rubbing your body against mine. I thought you were as turned on as I was.”

  She was, damn him. But she wasn’t going to admit it. She folded her arms over her chest and rubbed her forearms. “I… I didn’t want to be rude.”

  “Rude?”

  He started to laugh then and her face flamed. God, what a stupid answer. What a stupid, stupid answer.

  “The right response if you don’t want to fuck someone is either to say no or to knee him in the balls. But use the knee only if he won’t take no for an answer. And I would have, believe me. I’m not some mindless asshole who’s ruled by his dick. I kinda like the woman to want me too.”