Falling Into Darkness

by L. M. Brown

  Michael didn’t know how this man had found out his name or what to say, except to point out the obvious. “I’m twenty years old, which should tell you, you have the wrong person.”

  “I don’t think so. I’d know you anywhere. My soul will always find you.”

  Michael shivered at the intensity of the man’s words, his first instinct to run from the café again.

  “You’ve been playing at being human for twenty years now,” the man continued. “It’s time for you to come home, to me.”

  Michael had heard enough. “I don’t know who you are, or what the hell you’re talking about, but I suggest you fuck off and annoy someone else.”

  The man reeled back. “Michael, it’s me, Lucifer.”

  “Lucifer?” Michael laughed loudly. “Damn, your parents must have been cruel to land you with that name.”

  Lucifer—if that was even his real name—gazed at him in confusion and…hurt? Then his expression changed to one of shock. “What have you done?” Lucifer whispered.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Michael replied.

  “You don’t remember me.” Lucifer shook his head and blinked rapidly, as though he was trying to stop tears from falling, but why would that be the case?

  “I’ve never met you before yesterday,” Michael said. “I’m sorry, but I honestly believe you’ve got me confused with someone else.”

  “No,” Lucifer said quietly. “I’d know you anywhere. I just never imagined you would do this.”

  “Do what?”

  Lucifer stood and stumbled back from the table. “I have to go.”

  Michael didn’t try to make him stay. Handsome as the man was, he seemed rather creepy too. He didn’t know whether to hope he saw Lucifer again or to pray he didn’t.

  * * * *

  Lucifer returned to the café a few weeks later. This time he seemed to accept that Michael didn’t know him and didn’t try to insist they had met before.

  “I think we should go on a date this weekend,” Lucifer suggested.

  “Excuse me?” Michael gaped at Lucifer. He had sat at the table ten minutes ago, they had exchanged small talk, somewhat reluctantly on Michael’s part, and now he wanted a date?

  “Dinner perhaps,” Lucifer commented as though Michael hadn’t spoken.

  “I already have plans this weekend,” Michael lied.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  Michael scowled. “Why not?”

  “Because you’ve met me now, and I know I’m irresistible.”

  “Arrogant much?” Michael asked as he checked his watch. He didn’t particularly want to go back to the office yet, but Lucifer’s tone was so superior, he just wanted to escape his presence.

  “You don’t need to be back at work for another thirty-four minutes,” Lucifer said.

  Michael didn’t ask how Lucifer knew. “I think I need to start changing round my schedule.”

  “Why?”

  “So stalkers like you can’t gather information about my whereabouts at any time of the day.”

  “I’m not a stalker. I’m the man you’re going to spend eternity with.”

  “Eternity?” Michael snorted. “One lifetime isn’t enough for you?”

  “I intend to live a very long life,” Lucifer replied. “And I see you at my side.”

  With every word Lucifer said, Michael became more ill at ease. When Lucifer talked about forever, Michael could almost believe he meant it literally.

  “I see me leaving,” Michael said. He stood and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. “Please don’t come near me again.”

  Lucifer didn’t try to stop him and Michael quickly hurried from the café. He glanced back just once and saw two handsome strangers standing over Lucifer. They seemed angry for some reason, but Michael had no intention of sticking around to find out why.

  * * * *

  From that day forward Michael’s life seemed to take a turn for the worse. Lots of turns for the worse, in fact.

  Even though he had never been particularly accident-prone, Michael found himself making numerous visits to the Accident and Emergency department, with injuries ranging from a broken wrist after having someone fall off a ladder on top of him, to a bad case of food poisoning following a date that hadn’t been going particularly well to begin with.

  He’d even managed to wind up in a car accident resulting in a two-day hospital visit, where he could have sworn he heard a man talking to him while he struggled to regain consciousness. The staff at the hospital insisted that he hadn’t received any visitors, but he knew what he had heard.

  His love life didn’t fare much better. For some reason he seemed to attract the worst men out there. If a man was a layabout, a liar, or a plain old cheat, Michael found him. By the time he approached thirty years of age, he was convinced he would never find the so-called love of his life.

  Changing jobs and moving town didn’t help either. His mother told him he couldn’t run away from his problems, but he told himself a fresh start couldn’t hurt. All it seemed to do, though, was introduce him to a new hospital and another social network of men who just weren’t right for him.

  Bad luck followed Michael wherever he went, resulting in him dodging traffic on the busy high street, while he chased after his over-priced concert ticket, which had flown out of his hand, despite the fact there wasn’t a trace of a breeze.

  If Michael didn’t know better, he’d swear his ticket had a mind and will of its own.

  A car horn blared as the driver swerved to miss him. “Wanker!” the motorist yelled.

  Michael ignored him.

  Ahead of him, the slip of paper was plucked out of the air by a handsome man about Michael’s own age. He hoped the man was honest enough to hand it back.

  Panting and breathless, Michael finally caught up to his wayward ticket.

  “Yours?” The man held the ticket aloft.

  Michael nodded.

  “You’re out of shape,” the man teased. “Too much fish and chips, I’d say.”

  Michael frowned, wondering how this stranger knew his favorite meal. Then again, he was in England, where fish and chips had been a well-loved dinner for over a century. It must have been a lucky guess.

  “Can I have my ticket back?” Michael asked once he had found his voice again.

  “Sure.”

  Michael took the paper and tucked it safely into his jacket. “Thanks. I spent a small fortune on that.”

  “I know.” The man took an identical piece of paper from his own pocket. “I just got mine this morning too.”

  Fate. The word popped into Michael’s head, even though he didn’t believe in such things.

  “Front row of the balcony.”

  “Mine too,” Michael said.

  “I guess I’ll see you there then.”

  The man turned away.

  “Wait! What’s your name?”

  “Gabe,” he replied.

  “I’m Michael.”

  “Nice to meet you, Michael,” Gabe said. “Take care of that ticket now.”

  As Michael watched Gabe walk away he considered maybe things were looking up.

  At the concert, Michael found himself seated right beside Gabe. They enjoyed the show and afterward they went for a drink together. By the end of the night Michael and Gabe were talking like old friends and had already made plans to meet up the following week too.

  Handsome and charming, Gabe quickly became a constant presence in his life. Michael enjoyed spending time with him. They could laugh and joke together as easily as they could debate and talk about the more serious issues of the day. He just wished there was a spark of attraction for him.

  Although Gabe was bisexual, and presently without a partner of either gender, he never made a move on Michael. Michael had asked him once why not, and Gabe had told him he saw Michael as the brother he had never had. Michael felt as though he had known Gabe forever.

  “Forever is a long time,” Gabe re
plied when Michael told him that.

  Michael shrugged. “Don’t you ever feel like maybe we’ve known each other before?”

  “Maybe we have, in another life,” Gabe suggested.

  “Do you believe in that sort of stuff?”

  “Yes, don’t you?”

  “I never really thought about it.”

  Gabe smiled. “Maybe you should. If you believe death is the end of everything, you’ll be rather disappointed when you find out it isn’t.”

  “You sound pretty sure there’s an afterlife.”

  “I am.”

  Michael wasn’t so certain, but he respected Gabe’s beliefs.

  The restaurant they ate at this evening wasn’t particularly crowded, and that was probably why Michael felt the undeniable sensation of someone focusing on him. Trying not to be obvious about it, Michael glanced round the room and, sure enough, there was a vaguely familiar man eating alone and staring right at him.

  “What is it?” Gabe asked.

  “Nothing.” Michael turned his attention back to his friend.

  “I just asked you the same question three times. Whatever’s distracting you isn’t nothing.”

  Michael shrugged. “Just a guy over there. I thought he was looking at me.”

  “He is.”

  “You saw him?” Michael couldn’t hide his surprise. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Forget about him. He’s trouble.”

  “You know him?”

  “Yes.” Gabe’s tone made it clear he didn’t want to discuss the man, but Michael’s curiosity was piqued.

  “Well, who is he? And why do you think he’s bad news?”

  Gabe sighed. “His name’s Lucifer, and believe me when I say he’s perfectly named.”

  “Lucifer?” Something sparked in Michael’s memory. A man, in a café, with the same name. He shivered and glanced back at the man across the room. It was the same person. Then he remembered the last time he had seen him, when two other men had stood over Lucifer as Michael had scurried away. Gabe had been one of those men.

  “I saw you,” Michael said. “Talking to him in a café—it must have been ten years ago now—you and some other man.”

  “I didn’t realize you saw us,” Gabe said.

  Michael wondered if this was some sort of game the three of them were playing with him, but he swiftly dismissed the idea. Gabe didn’t play games.

  “Forget about him,” Gabe repeated.

  Michael nodded, yet his eyes kept drifting back to Lucifer. He couldn’t seem to help himself. Even though he now recalled his previous encounters with Lucifer, he felt drawn to him. He tried to push the feeling aside. The man had practically been stalking him, he certainly didn’t need any encouragement.

  Was it a coincidence he was here, all these miles away from the café where they had once met? Michael hoped it was, because the alternative appeared to be that Lucifer had spent the last ten years tracking him down to the other side of the country.

  * * * *

  Now he had reappeared in his life, Michael couldn’t help seeing Lucifer on a regular basis. The strange man never approached him yet still seemed to be a constant presence. Michael would see him on the bus, in the supermarket, or walking down the street. The odd thing was he never once saw him when he was alone. Gabe was with Michael every single time Lucifer appeared. He mentioned it to his friend once, but Gabe merely shrugged and muttered, “Coincidence.”

  Michael continued to search for Mr. Right, whoever he might be, but when he was being completely honest with himself, he admitted he wasn’t looking too hard. He also accepted that if Lucifer ever did speak to him again, he’d be willing to give him a second chance.

  He didn’t know why he found the man intriguing. It certainly wasn’t Lucifer’s manners. Each time they had spoken Lucifer had been arrogant and rude, neither quality being ones Michael found attractive. Yet, Michael couldn’t seem to stop thinking about him, or watching out for him around town.

  Michael wanted to see him again and maybe find out why he found the man so fascinating.

  * * * *

  Michael and Gabe sat in the park, eating chips and watching a group of kids kicking a football around on the lawn. Lucifer sat beside Michael, on the opposite side to Gabe. He nicked a chip from Michael’s tray, grinning widely as he popped it into his mouth.

  “Did you want something?” Gabe asked. “Besides our chips, I mean.”

  “Just enjoying a summer afternoon,” Lucifer replied. “Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?”

  “Not right now.”

  “Are you sure?” Lucifer pressed. “Only you’re cramping my style.”

  Gabe rolled his eyes. “You know the rules, Lucifer. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Rules?” Michael asked. “What are you talking about?”

  Gabe cursed under his breath.

  “Keep out of my head,” Lucifer said, which made about as much sense as Gabe’s comment about rules.

  Gabe swore again, and Michael gave him a questioning glance. Gabe shook his head briefly and mouthed, “Later.”

  Lucifer used Michael’s distraction as an opportunity to steal another chip and Michael slapped his hand. “Gabe here has appointed himself your personal bodyguard, or didn’t he tell you that? He seems to believe you can’t think for yourself.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true,” Michael replied.

  “Oh, but it is,” Lucifer whispered into his ear. “He knows he can’t keep us apart forever, but he will insist on acting as a cock blocker for as long as he can. I’m sure you don’t want that, do you, Michael?”

  Michael gulped, nearly choking on his food.

  Lucifer didn’t give him much of a chance to respond. “I can do things to your body you’ve only ever dreamed of. All you have to do is give me a chance to show you.”

  “Um.” Michael glanced at Gabe, who gave no sign of having heard Lucifer’s whisper.

  “That eunuch has nothing to offer you,” Lucifer continued. “I can offer you the world.”

  “Eunuch?” Gabe snarled, revealing he had heard every word, no matter how quietly Lucifer had been murmuring in Michael’s ear.

  Lucifer smirked at Gabe. “When did you last get laid?”

  “Mind your own business. Besides, what’s it been for you, about thirty years, right?”

  Michael wouldn’t have put Lucifer at older than twenty-five, and certainly no older than himself. In fact, now he thought about it, he realized Lucifer looked just the same as he had when he’d seen him ten years ago. Or maybe his memory played tricks on him.

  While he was contemplating Lucifer’s age, he and Gabe continued to argue.

  “So, how long ago was it?” Lucifer asked. “Tenth century? Or maybe as far back as the eighth?”

  Michael finished his chips as the two men squabbled across him like a pair of children. When Lucifer rose to his feet to yell at Gabe, Michael stood as well. He shook his head, tossed his empty tray into the rubbish bin, and walked away, leaving the pair of them to fight it out. He idly wondered if there could be some unresolved sexual tension between the two men but quickly shoved the thought aside. The idea made him unexpectedly jealous, though he didn’t want to look too closely at who he was jealous of.

  * * * *

  Michael dreamt about Lucifer that night, and it was the most erotic dream he had ever experienced.

  “It’s been so long, Michael,” Lucifer whispered into his ear. “I need you so badly.”

  Lucifer’s weight on top of him should have scared him, but Michael reminded himself this was just a dream.

  “Tell me you want me,” Lucifer demanded.

  “I want you,” Michael replied. “I don’t know why, but I want you so much I don’t think I can go another day without you.”

  “You won’t have to,” Lucifer told him.

  With gentle touches, Lucifer stroked Michael’s chest and abdomen, his fingers skimming the waistband of the boxers Michael slep
t in. Michael’s erection strained against the fabric and he moaned in pleasure.

  “That’s it,” Lucifer whispered. “Moan for me, Michael. Let me hear you.”

  Michael groaned, a wave of desire washing over him at Lucifer’s touch. Lucifer responded to his sounds of delight by gripping Michael’s cock through the boxers and squeezing. Michael bucked his hips and gave a choked cry. It had been so long since his last boyfriend, and even longer since he had felt so strongly about someone.

  Lucifer moved his hand lower, slipping his fingers between Michael’s thighs. “Open up for me.”

  Michael obeyed Lucifer’s command immediately, spreading his legs so Lucifer could settle between them.

  “Am I dreaming?” Michael asked as Lucifer rubbed their groins together.

  “Yes,” Lucifer replied. “This is all in your head.”

  “Are you going to fuck me?”

  “Not tonight,” Lucifer said.

  Knowing this wasn’t a one-night stand made Michael happy. His arse ached in anticipation of feeling Lucifer inside him, but he could wait.

  “Tonight is just the beginning,” Lucifer told him.

  Michael nodded and wrapped his legs around Lucifer’s thighs, trapping him close. He bucked his hips, feeling Lucifer’s hardness against his own.

  “That’s it,” Lucifer gasped.

  Michael moaned again and slipped his hands down Lucifer’s back, cupping his bare arse. When had Lucifer undressed? He frowned in confusion before he remembered this was a dream. He tried to imagine his own clothing away, but it seemed his dream world didn’t work quite as well as he would have liked. He didn’t let it bother him. He had never felt like this before.

  Closing his eyes, Michael gave his body to Lucifer without reservation, letting him use him as he wanted. All Michael could do was hold on tight for the ride and he did. Slick with sweat, they moved in a timeless rhythm of perfect synchronization, something Michael had never achieved with other men, yet that seemed to come naturally with Lucifer. Of course, since this was a dream, it stood to reason they would be perfectly matched. There shouldn’t be any awkwardness during a sex dream.