by D T Dyllin
I registered the light streaming into the room with confusion. “One in the afternoon? No way.”
David scrubbed a hand over his face before shutting his laptop and focusing completely on me. “I was starting to get a bit worried when you didn’t wake up.” He opened his mouth, shut it and paused for a brief moment before continuing. “But your pulse and respiratory functions seemed to be completely normal. How much did you drink, exactly?”
I rubbed my eyes with the fleshy part of my palms. “Only a few of those little Southern Comfort bottles from the minibar. And how would you know about my pulse and everything?” I almost wanted to laugh at the thought of him playing nurse to me when I was passed out.
He ignored my question and asked me one of his own. “And you didn’t do…anything else?”
I laughed, which hurt my head. “Drugs, you mean? No, I out grew that scene before I even turned twenty-one. I have the occasional drink here or there but I’m mostly sober now. That’s why I couldn’t hold my liquor last night.” My stomach bubbled in protest and sudden nausea forced me from the bed. “Or today—“ I muttered as I raced for the bathroom. I made it just in time to revisit my binge from last night. The smell was less than pleasant. When I’d finished emptying everything on my stomach, I groaned and staggered back to bed. “Can I please have some water? And maybe a mint?”
“Yeah, on it.” I closed my eyes and listened as David bustled around the room. “Here you go.”
I cracked my eyes open to take a glass from his hands and I gingerly sipped from it. “Thanks.”
“And here. Altoids. Better than regular mints.”
He set the tin beside my head and retreated to his side of the bed once more. When I was finished with the water and sucking on a few Altoids, I rolled on my stomach to face David. “So you thought I took some drugs?”
David’s face colored with embarrassment. “There really is no safe answer for me in this situation. I piss you off even when I’m not trying to, it seems.”
I chuckled. “What? You weren’t trying? Well shit.” David frowned at me. “And just so you know, yes, there are girls that are the complete porno stereotype… On drugs and from abusive pasts. Blabbity blah. I’m not one of those and there are plenty of us that aren’t. The drugged out porn stars don’t usually stay in the business for very long, and they definitely don’t reach the top like I did. Porn is just like any other business… You need to be a professional to get anywhere.”
“This is the kind of stuff you need to be saying on camera.” David muttered as he flew from bed.
“Get me breakfast and let me shower so I look somewhat presentable and I promise this time I’ll actually do the interview. Third time’s the charm, right?”
“I’ll order room service for you, but they aren’t serving breakfast anymore. Do you want to look at the menu?”
I rolled onto my side and stuffed my head under a pillow. “No. Just get me something greasy like pizza or French fries and a burger.”
“’Kay,” David mumbled and I heard him fumbling around with the phone.
I must have dozed off for a bit while waiting for the food because it felt like I just blinked and suddenly David was telling me my breakfast had arrived. I rolled out from under my cocoon of pillow, comforter and sheets, and slumped into the desk chair. Laid out in front of me on the desk was a mini plain cheese pizza, fries, and a burger. I took a few bites of each before my stomach grumbled a protest. A hangover is the world’s best diet. Once the food settled I did feel slightly better though.
“I’m going to go get presentable and I’ll be back in about an hour…or two.” I announced.
David looked up from his laptop and scowled. “You’re just going to go back to your room and fall asleep. We need to get this interview out of the way. And also, you sleeping all day isn’t something I want to film. What were your original plans for your trip home?”
I scrunched my nose up at David. “I was only going to take a little nap.” He snorted at me and I continued on as if he wasn’t mocking my sincerity. “And your whole documentary screwed my plans to shit. Do you think I was going to stay at a hotel originally?” I raised my hand up before he could reply. “The answer is no. I was going to stay with my Aunt Suzy. But I can’t bring you with me to her house.”
“Why?”
“Why?” I repeated incredulously. “Are you serious right now? I’m stuck doing your documentary, but I can’t and won’t do that to her.”
“All right, fine. We’ll talk about this later in more detail—preferably on camera. For now, you need to get ready for your interview. Go get your stuff and shower here, where I can make sure you don’t go back to sleep.”
“Oh, getting attached to me already? I’ll have you naked and underneath me in no time.” I grinned as David’s face turned down into another scowl. He better be careful or it might freeze that way.
“I want you here for professional reasons, Alexa. Nothing more, nothing less.”
I pulled myself up from the desk chair and slowly made my way towards the door, glancing at David when I spoke. “You keep telling yourself that, but we both know you’re attracted to me.”
David’s eyes darkened. “Yeah, so what? I think you’re hot. I always have, but it doesn’t mean anything. I’ve never been one to let my…my little head do the thinking for me.”
Oh how cute, he can’t seem to utter the words dick or cock to me…a porn star. “Maybe that’s always been your problem.” I paused with my hand on the doorknob. “And your little head didn’t feel so little to me when I copped a feel on the plane.” With that I left the room, a huge smile tugging at my lips. I really had fun pushing David’s buttons. I didn’t even have to see his face to imagine his shocked expression. I chuckled to myself as I stepped onto the elevator and hit floor nine. I continued to amuse myself with thoughts of David until a sort of fluttering began in my chest as I imagined waking up next to him. Oh no, this isn’t good. Am I developing some kind of crush on him or something? I didn’t like that thought, not one bit. My good mood evaporated instantly. I was going to have to nip that in the bud immediately. And the only way to do that was to fuck him out of my system…of course.
Chapter Nine
~Alexa
Because I wanted to forget about him, to get him out of my system… I had decided that I needed to fuck David. In my mind, that wasn’t going to be an if but a when. Now that I had developed some kind of grade school crush on him, I knew I needed to make the when sooner rather than later. It wasn’t like David and I could work out even if he returned my feelings. I was a porn star and we just couldn’t date like normal people. It was difficult to date in or out of the business. Although, it was definitely more difficult to date outside the business. Eventually, if our relationship and feelings progressed like a normal couple, David would ask me to quit porn. That would also be a when type scenario and then I would have to break things off with him.
What was the point really? It was better to save both of us any heartache than to simply postpone the inevitable. The strangest part was that all it took was me waking up next to him in bed. I mean sure, it’d been awhile since I’d woken up next to anyone. But was I feeling that emotionally bereft that a simple thing such as sleeping next to someone all night did it for me? Or maybe it was because I kind of felt like we had a bit of a past? Ooor…maybe it didn’t matter because soon enough David would be a distant memory, and a notch on my bedpost.
I kept that thought firmly in my mind as I arrived at David’s hotel room once more. I wasn’t quite feeling back to myself yet, but at least the pounding headache and urge to puke had subsided. I was just left with a general feeling of being drained…both emotionally and physically. “Knock, knock,” I muttered as I knocked on the door.
When it swung open it was clear that David and both of his assistants, Josh and Mac, were ready for me. I was ushered back into pretty much the same set up as the night before; except for the sun was shining happily through the windows, mock
ing me.
David sat, his energy almost visibly bubbling up and out of him, and smiled at me. “All right, I’ll admit, when you refused to come back and get ready here, I had my doubts about you actually coming back, but here you are.”
“Here I am.” What I didn’t tell him was the real reason why I didn’t come back to get ready in his room. It would have felt entirely too domestic. I was already crushing on him; I didn’t need to feed into any of that crap to make it worse.
David studied my expression for a moment, trying to read me, but then sighed, obviously giving up. “Let’s get started then. This is how it’s going to work. It’ll be just like having a normal conversation with me, but your answers will be filmed. I won’t be on camera, only you will be. Later, during the editing process of the film I’ll piece your commentary together in appropriate places for—”
“I have a general idea of how it works,” I interjected. “I’m ready.” I smoothed my hair down and tucked the right side behind my ear.
“Okay good.” David made a motion at Josh, and him and Mac both took up their positions behind the two cameras, both of them facing me but at different angles. David glanced down at some notes, laid them on the floor next to his chair, and then donned a more professional air. He was ready.
“And rolling,” Josh stated softly.
“Alexa, tell us what it’s like dating when you’re in the porno industry.”
I internally groaned. This is exactly what I didn’t want to talk about. Hadn’t I just been thinking about how difficult the whole situation was? I kept my annoyance internal though and smiled. “I won’t lie to you. It’s rough. I’ve dated guys both outside and inside the industry. Both have their own pros and cons. It’s nice being with someone in the porn business because they understand more. But there are still awkward situations especially when maybe you have a scene with a guy your man hates. You still have to do the scene regardless. And if you happen to be dating another performer… the same goes the other way around. But dating someone outside the industry has its own set of challenges. The relationship usually ends when I’m asked to quit the business. When I’m ready to quit, I will for me, not for anyone else.” I swallowed and waited for David’s next question, which came almost immediately.
“So when you’re in a relationship, how does the sex work?”
“When I’m in a relationship we come to terms we can both agree on and try to stick to them, just like any other relationship. My last boyfriend, who was an entertainer, didn’t want me doing any gangbang scenes but he was fine with anal, DP, etc.”
“DP?”
“Double penetration.”
David fidgeted for a moment before asking another question. “Do you have sex off screen with other people when you’re in a relationship?”
“I don’t. Again to use my last relationship as an example, we only had sex with other people on set. Off set we were completely monogamous.”
“What about STDs?” David’s cheeks colored as if he was embarrassed to ask me.
It didn’t bother me though, I’d been asked the STD question what seemed like a million times before. “We get tested about every fourteen days when we work regularly. With all the big agencies and studios—I’m not talking the dirty, shady shit—you don’t get tested, you don’t work. Of course it doesn’t guarantee that you don’t pick up something once in a while. But it’s usually the treatable kind of stuff like chlamydia, or gonorrhea, which is mostly just embarrassing. That’s another reason why the druggies in the porn business don’t last; no one wants to put themselves at risk like that. We’re probably safer than most people, definitely most college students. I know I’ve been more conscious about STDs since entering the business.”
“Are you single now?”
I could tell by the way David’s eyes narrowed, he was trying to figure out if I’d really been hitting on him or just trying to make him squirm. His interest told me a lot. Probably more than he wanted to. He was gauging both the honestly of my answers and where he really stood with me. I licked my lips and met his assessing cerulean gaze head on. “I’m one hundred percent single at the moment.”
“So how does sex work when you find yourself…single?”
I tried, unsuccessfully, to keep my pleasant expression from twisting up into a smirk. David was going to find out soon enough first hand, he just didn’t know it yet. “It depends. If I’m attracted to someone I usually try to take him for a test ride. If I like him beyond the sex then maybe I’ll date him. I kind of play it by ear, just like any other girl my age.”
“Him? Do you only date men in your personal life? I know you have sex with women on film.”
“I’ve never dated a woman. I’ve fucked plenty, as you know. But at the end of the day I wouldn’t even consider myself bi—not really. I like eating pussy, but it always feels like an appetizer to me, when all is said and done I want the main course... a nice big, rock hard cock.”
The room fell into complete silence for a moment. It was like everyone but me had stopped breathing. I glanced over at Josh and Mac, who were both shifting uncomfortably, and then to David who was doing the same. I grinned. “Come on, guys. Don’t be embarrassed if I’m turning you on. I’m not embarrassed in the least. In fact, I think it’s really hot.” I bit my lower lip and stared at David’s crotch, wondering what he was thinking exactly.
“Alexa…” David warned, his voice deep and husky. Guess what I was thinking was written all over my face.
“What?” I brushed my hands over my braless tits and then placed them innocently in my lap. “I’m answering the questions you are asking.”
I watched as David’s jaw muscles flexed several times before he jumped right into the next question. “How do you feel about the fact that you’re helping to feed the sexual objectification of today’s oversexed culture? Don’t you feel any kind of responsibility to today’s young girl’s to be a better role model than—“
“A porn star?” David nodded and sat forward in his chair, his elbows perched on his knees. “Well, I think I’m a perfectly fine role model for not only young girl’s but today’s youth in general. You see, I don’t let society’s constraints dictate to me what I should or should not do. Porn is still taboo even though definitely more mainstream than it used to be. But it’s something that I’ve always been drawn to; it’s something that I need. So why should I have to deny myself things I long for when I’m not hurting anyone? By making my own choices free from constraint, I’m telling today’s youth that they can do the same.”
“I don’t think you understand what sexual objectification is. It’s—“
“I know what it is, and I think it’s bullshit. If a person wants to sell their body it should be their choice, and no one else’s.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at David. He was trying to corner me into saying something I didn’t want to. He wanted me to put down porn in some way, but I’d played this game with people before.
“All right…moving on then.” David cleared his throat and inched just a tiny bit closer to me in his seat. “Have you ever been in love?”
He’d gone right for the throat again. David had probably done his homework and known the previous questions were all ones I’d been asked before, or pretty damn close to it. But no one really bothered to delve into the real emotional side of my past relationships. My heart beat faster and suddenly the lights were hot enough to make me sweat. I dabbed at my upper lip and wiggled in my chair. “Yes.”
“And since you’re single, I can assume that it didn’t work out?”
“No.” Thoughts of Devlin began to swirl around in my mind. He was the one who broke me. I’d never loved anyone before or after him. I’d trusted him with me…the real me…and he’d utterly shattered my heart. “You know, my head is starting to hurt again.” I rubbed my temples and shut my eyes. “Can we maybe finish this up another time.”
“We got most of what I needed. We can sit down at the end of our time together filmin
g, in a few weeks, and I’ll ask any other questions then. I’ll probably have some new ones by that point.”
“Great.” I stood abruptly. “Then I’m going to go get some more sleep.” I scurried from the room without so much as a backwards glance. It really was starting to get annoying the pattern that was developing between David and myself. I would make him feel uncomfortable, think I had the upper hand, and then boom, he’d gut me with some question about relationships or love. Maybe that was the real problem I needed to fix? Maybe I wasn’t burnt out when it came to my job, but rather my personal life. Maybe that’s why the whole sleeping in David’s bed the night before had caused me to develop a thing for him. Was I lonely? Hmmm… I’d have to think about that more after I got some sleep.
Once I got back to my room I stripped off all my clothes and slid under the cool sheets. My curtains were already drawn tight to keep me steeped in relative darkness, and before I knew it I’d fallen into the kind of oblivion that could only be brought on when suffering from a hangover.
Chapter Ten
~David
The interview—or partial interview had shaken me. Why had I asked some of the questions that I did? I knew the answers to the STD stuff…not only could you find her answering the same questions in articles and videos online but a quick Google search about the industry could turn up that information as well. It was almost as if I was checking…for myself. Which made me want to kick something. Hard.
“So man, what’s up with you and Alexa?” Josh asked, his eyes glinting with amusement. “You think you might have a chance getting into her pants?”
I ground my teeth together. “I’m really not interested in fucking someone like her.”
“Oh, yeah? Then what was with all the dating questions and shit?” Mac asked while he broke down the lighting equipment. “You want to more than fuck her? Because good luck with that.”
