Cake Love: All Things Payne

by Elizabeth Lynx

  I turn to Aria who is shaking her head violently, as Grandma has a tear rolling from her eye. I have never seen Grandma cry, not even at Grandpa's funeral. This whole scene is shocking and completely inappropriate. Leave it to my mom to jump to the worst conclusion and be overly dramatic about it.

  "Mom, why on earth do you think I am dying?"

  "You gathered all of us here and it isn't anyone's birthday, so I just assumed. Wait...are you pregnant? Oh my God! You are pregnant! I am going to be a grandmother! Who's the father? Oh, it doesn't matter, we can raise the child together. I will support you Morgana."

  My mom is jumping up and down as she smiles through her tears. My father's lip has stopped trembling and is now a firm line. His jaw is ticking as he grounds out the words, "Yes, Morgana. Who is the father?"

  My brother looks up at my dad and then back at me, clenching his jaw and banging his fist on the table, causing Orly the dog to start barking. Eventually the dog grumbles and then goes back to sleep, curled up next to the fireplace.

  Aria’s smile is almost infectious… almost. Grandma, still crying, is now mouthing the words, ‘great-grandma,’ and sneers.

  I stand and put my hands on the table as I clear my throat. My mom rushes up behind me to put her hand on my shoulder and arm to try to guide me back into my seat. I swat her away before she attempts to rub my nonexistent pregnant belly.

  "Mom, stop! Everyone just stop. I am not dying. I am not pregnant. I am leaving to move to New York for a bit."

  "What?" My mother barks out the word in an angry tone. I look behind me to see her shooting daggers at me. I know my mom would rather have me die of a horrible disease than for me to move out of state, especially far enough away where a plane ride is involved to visit. I am her baby girl and as her baby girl, I should only ever be a short car ride away.

  Looking around the table, I see tremendous relief on everyone's face except Aria's. She appears heartbroken.

  I place one hand on my mom's shoulder and one on Aria's shoulder.

  "Look, it's only for six weeks. I got into the Executive Development Program early at Mimir. The program is in New York, so I have to go there to train. That's why I asked everyone to come to dinner. Not because anyone is dying or pregnant, but because I am not going to be here for a while."

  I give a small smile and look over at Aria who is nodding, but still appears sad. My mom puts her hand over mine and I see her trying to breathe through whatever emotion she is feeling at this moment.

  "Well, that just means I get all the cake for the next six weeks! Woo hoo! Ow." My brother, Daniel, yelps after my dad smacks him on the back of his head at the end of his announcement.

  "I'll be in cake mourning until my baby girl comes back home. No more cake until she comes back safe and sound."

  "Mom, come on! You can't mean that. She's not going to Afghanistan; she is going to New York. The worst that will happen to her is she might get her skirt lifted by some pervert on the subway. The only reason I come here is for your cake and the good reception on the tv....ow!" My dad smacks my brother on the back of the head again.

  "Fine. It's not like she is leaving right away. I guess I can do one more cake. And I can make one for a going away party. And then, when she returns of course. Maybe even a three-week celebration when she hits the halfway mark, I will make a special cake for that. When are you going? May? June? December?" Mom asks, still refusing to look at me, her gaze locked on the old oil painting of a boat by a river behind my dad's head on the wall.

  This is the part I dreaded of the evening. Now I have to tell Mom that I leave in two days. That this will probably be the last she sees of me for over a month. Unless she plans on visiting, which she won't. I don't think I have ever seen my mom go anywhere that isn't less than a three hour drive. She did tell me once she had to drive up to St. Paul, Minnesota once for a wedding, but that's when she was in her early twenties. I think she was more adventurous then.

  "I leave on Saturday." I can feel the blood draining from my face as I hear gasps come from around the table. All eyes focus on my mom, except for Daniel's date. She is happily digging her fork into the roast chicken my mom made and reaching for the green ceramic dish of mashed potatoes.

  “Brain! Brain! Please help me!” I whisper scream at Brain who is cowering behind the couch shaking her head at me.

  “Leave me out of all this. This is Titanic and Pompeii all wrapped in one. Everyone needs to run for their lives.” Brain screams, then gets up and runs out the door. I swear I hear an engine roar to life outside and wheels screeching in the distance.

  There is a croak and then a whimper and then another gasp coming from my mom, who I have yet to find the courage to look at after telling her when I’m leaving. I turn my gaze to the dog; his tail is in between his legs and he’s slowly backing out of the room. Smart dog, wish I had thought of an exit strategy.

  "I...How...This...NEVER!!!" The last word sounded like the spawn of Satan spoke as my mom turns and runs up the stairs. She actually runs. A short, fifty something, never done exercise in her life, woman bolts up the stairs like an athlete.

  "Do you have any more of the asparagus? It's really good," Daniel's date pipes up and looks around the table. We all stare at her. Finally, Daniel gets up and guides her into the kitchen.

  "Well, I think that went well," My grandma points out while taking a sip from her bottle of beer.

  "Should I go talk to her?" I look at Dad who is shaking his head and frowning.

  "Oh no. Just let her cool off a bit and then I will go talk to her. It will take her a little while to accept you leaving. Remember how she was when you said you were moving into the dorms at college with Aria? That was just down the road. She will be okay," Dad points out.

  I sigh and sit back down next to Aria, who is rubbing my back in support. As much as I dreaded tonight there is one positive, it got my mind off Henrik. The closer Saturday comes to me, the more I think about him. Perhaps I should call him and tell him I got into the program? Would he even care? Does he already know? How would he know? He doesn’t work at Mimir anymore. I don’t know why I am thinking about all this, he’s not my Henrik anymore.

  We all continue eating in silence. My dad excuses himself from the table and heads upstairs after about ten minutes. I talk to Aria for a bit. She seems hesitant. Acting as if she is about to tell me something but stops herself. Our conversation ends up being about New York and all the potential bakeries I can discover there.

  After some time passes, I hear moaning coming from the kitchen and realize my brother and his date are still in there; my father comes down the stairs. He points to me with a shaking smile and motions for me to go up and talk with Mom. He then focuses his attention on the noises coming from the kitchen and yells to my brother, “Hey! This isn’t a motel Daniel! What do you think you’re doing? We make food in there for Christ’s sake!”

  I walk around my dad and head up the stairs to the back room, my parents’ bedroom. Opening the door, I see my mom sprawled face down on the bed. I rub her back as I come to sit next to her.

  "I'm sorry Mom. I just found out this week. I have been working for this for years. Please, don't be mad at me."

  There is sniffing coming from her pillow. After a few minutes of silence, she sits up and puts her arm around me, brushing the hair from my face.

  "I know my love. It's just that you are my baby. I'm very protective of you. When you were born I was afraid you wouldn't live, you have no idea what that does to a mother. For weeks I cried and prayed and then cried some more. When you came home on April ninth, it was the happiest day of my life. I vowed I would always be there to protect you. Now you will be far away. How am I going to protect you?"

  Now I am crying. I wrap my arms around Mom and squeeze her with all my might, like I used to do when I was little.

  "I love you Mom. I promise to call you all the time. If you’re worried about me, you can always call me too. Also, I would love it if you and Dad visit
ed."

  She is looking at the ground as she sighs. "I guess I can consider leaving the state for you. I just don’t understand why anyone would want to go anywhere else when they have everything right here? Big city, great people, beautiful country, a big lake, and my wonderful family." She smiles at me and cups my cheek.

  "The Earth looks different everywhere you go, Mom. Some people like to see the different scenery and cultures and people."

  "I guess. Well, at least I will have a reason to travel now. To see my baby girl."

  My mom and I hug and talk some more before we make our way back downstairs for cake. I can understand why Daniel freaked out when my mom mentioned not making cake until I return. One of the reasons I hope she visits me is so she can bring her cake.

  When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I see Daniel's girlfriend crying as he closes the front door behind her.

  "Oh Daniel, did Dad kick her out?"

  I’m surprised Dad didn’t kick them both out based on the glimpse I saw when I passed Dad on my way to go see Mom.

  Daniel shakes his head and shrugs as he heads over to the couch to sit.

  "Nah. We just broke up."

  I stop mid stride to the loveseat next to the couch and stare at him.

  "But you were making out with her just twenty minutes ago? Did something happen?"

  Daniel picks up the television remote and starts channel surfing. “Yeah, she told me she wants us to get matching tattoos.” He barely glances up to meet my eye before continuing, “Once a girl wants matching anything, the next thing I know I’m married with two point five kids running around my feet. I can’t have that, I’m too young.”

  I scrunch up my brow and shake my head. "You're thirty-three."

  "Exactly! She was smothering me."

  "Daniel, you're the worst."

  He winks at me and smirks as he nods his head.

  ****

  I stare at the key fob to make sure I am on the correct floor as I roll my black suitcase behind me through the dark musty hall with outdated burgundy carpeting and gray walls. Room six hundred and fifty-two. Looking back up at the doors I roll past six forty-eight and then six fifty and finally in the corner is apartment six fifty-two. I am about to put the key in the door to the apartment that I will share for the next six weeks and wonder if I should knock first. Perhaps my roommate is already here and indecent.

  I'm excited to meet her, but a bit tired. I am hoping she isn't here yet so I can get a nap. I want to be fresh for orientation tomorrow. This feels so much like university: assigned roommates, orientation, and cafeteria. I just hope I don’t have an instructor like Mr. Dickerson, my swim professor. I thought swimming would be a great physical education credit, until Mr. Dickerson kept screaming in my ear as I swam laps like some sort of Olympic coach. I should have gotten the bronze medal just for putting up with him.

  I bring my hand up to the door and knock. I can hear movement on the other side and am a little disappointed that I probably won't get that nap. I jump with surprise as the door swings open and my mouth dries up as I see a very attractive man stand in the doorway, shirtless.

  My eyes gaze up into his sandy blonde, shaggy hair and travel down his golden skin to his hazel eyes, strong jaw, and pouty lips. I take a break at his smooth broad shoulders before continuing down his defined chest to his washboard abs and come to a halt at the hem of his frayed jeans. I do notice before looking back up he is barefoot. Oh yeah, nothing like a shirtless man who looks like a surfer god, to be walking around barefoot. As if at any moment, he will rip off his jeans and take me.

  "Hi." His deep voice causes my eyes to go wide, excited that he can talk too.

  "Uh, hi. I guess I have the wrong apartment. I am looking for six fifty-two." I pry my eyes away from him to glance around the hall.

  "No, this is six fifty-two. Come on in. You must be Morgana." Surfer dude steps back from the door and waves me inside.

  Evaleen gave me a sheet of information that had the name of the apartment building, address, room number, and the name of my roommate, Jamie Novak. Perhaps this is her boyfriend or brother. I am sort of hoping it's her brother, because I might need a little help studying one night. Perhaps he could help me study...in bed!

  "Oh, are you Jamie's brother?"

  He chuckles as I look around the place. It's small. If I take five steps in any direction, I will hit a wall. I am standing in the living room/kitchen/dining room area. Peeking overhead, I see a stepladder leading to what I can tell is a loft style bedroom. Where is the other bedroom?

  "No. I'm not Jamie's brother."

  Great, it's her boyfriend. If she gets the loft then I will have to hear them having sex, ugh.

  "Oh...uh, where is the other bedroom?" I open the one door in the place and it's a tiny bathroom with a white pedestal sink, single stand up shower, and freakishly small toilet.

  "Stand in the kitchen." He walks to the corner of the room but points to the tiny oven, half-refrigerator, and one beige cabinet.

  After I squeeze next to the stove and notice some clothes on the counter next to it, I see him pull at a bookcase and the wall falls down. Only it's a bed. A Murphy bed. I frown. Now I will definitely be hearing my roommate have sex.

  "Okay then. I guess I can call it quaint. I'm used to a little more space in Chicago." I smile at him.

  "Yeah I heard you lived there. I am hoping to move there after the program for obvious reasons." He pushes the bed back up and walks over to sit on the dark blue love seat, which gives the appearance of being huge in this tiny space. The white walls are sparse, but my roommate has already put up one poster of AC/DC.

  I leave my suitcase in the kitchen and walk over to take a seat on the light wood floor. It's hard and uncomfortable, but the way Jamie's boyfriend takes up the couch, I don't think I can fit. He lifts his finger in the air with a look of surprise.

  "Oh, I brought a few beers, you want one?" he asks as he gets up to walk the five steps into the kitchen and opens the refrigerator.

  "Sure. That sounds good. So, is Jamie out grocery shopping?" I ask as he hands me a cold bottle of beer, already opened. I take a sip and it feels refreshing as it runs down my throat. I didn't realize how thirsty I was from the plane ride.

  He chuckles again and shakes his head. “No, not at the moment.” He reaches across the small wooden chest acting as our coffee table to shake my hand. “I’m Jamie Novak, pleased to make your acquaintance Morgana.” My mouth falls open as I absentmindedly shake his hand, no doubt giving him a dead-fish handshake instead of the powerful, confident one I practiced on the plane.

  Oh no. Oh yes!

  I can feel my face burning as I try not to look directly at him. I study the one tall metal lamp next to the loveseat and then nod. Yes, that looks like a good lamp. Nothing out of the normal there.

  Standing, I walk over to the black poster on the wall that I can now tell is being held up by red pushpins. Hmm, red, nice choice of color.

  "Morgana! What are you doing? You just found out your roommate for the next six weeks is a hot guy, why are you staring at thumb tacks?" My Brain looks scared. Very scared.

  "If I look at everything else but him this will all go away. La la-de da nothing bad will happen while I stare at the ripped black paper edges of a very old poster. Vagina can't win this time. Good will defeat evil!" I tell my Brain.

  "Oh Morgana. The force is strong in this one." My Vagina smirks at me while glancing at Jamie.

  The hairs on my neck stand up and I know he is behind me as his warm breath cascades down my neck.

  "You like AC/DC? It was actually my dad's. One of the few possessions I have of him. He passed away from cancer last year. I hope you don't mind, but I wanted something here of his to remind me why I am working so hard to help my family," Jamie speaks as my heart begins to race until I feel it break.

  "Holy shit! You must marry him Morgana! Don't listen to Brain, she's a cold bitch. This man needs you." My Heart is crying while looking up int
o Jamie's soulful hazel eyes. I see Vagina nodding furiously at Heart's statement.

  "Shhh! I don't even know him. He could be gay for all I know. That is probably it. That's why I am roommates with a man, because he is homosexual and requested a female roommate. He's Gay!" That last part I said out loud. If my face was flush with pink before, it is now fire engine red.

  "Is he? I don't know much about the band, but I didn't realize the lead singer was gay," Jamie's words vibrate in my ear as his cinnamon scented breath continues to envelop me, causing my nipples to harden.

  "Uh...I...uh...I meant flamboyant and fun. You know the traditional use of the word. Ha! If you’re going to be living with me Jamie, there is one thing you should know… I…I like traditional words." I cringe as the ridiculous words leave my mouth. Thankfully, I still have my back to him so he can't see my reactions.

  "Well, that's good to know. I think it is a good idea if we get to know each other a bit. Perhaps I should order some dinner and we can get to know each other a little better...Morgana," Jamie whispers my name into my ear.

  I am starting to think he might not be gay.

  A shiver runs down my spine and I can even feel the heat from his hand that is presently hovering over my arm despite my jacket being in the way.

  "Here, let me take your jacket from you." He tugs at my jacket before I have enough time to unbutton the wool navy garment. He pulls a little too hard and I fall back into his chest.

  "Whoa Morgana! Why don't we have dinner first before you try to attack me?" Jamie chuckles.

  I manage to pull out of his grasp and straighten myself, then I get to work taking off my own coat.

  "I wasn't attacking you; you pulled before I was ready. Let's clear something up right now Jamie. There has obviously been some sort of mistake with our living arrangement that I plan to sort out tomorrow at Orientation. I came here to work, and I am not letting anything get in my way or do anything that might jeopardize this opportunity. Is that clear?"

  "Hazzah Morgana! Finally you are taking a step in the right direction." My Brain beams at me.