Cake Love: All Things Payne

by Elizabeth Lynx

  “What’s so funny Henrik?”

  I turn my head to Zooey, who I let meet me here because she had some important paperwork to drop off for me to sign.

  “Uh, nothing. Just remembered something funny I heard on the radio this morning. So, the papers?”

  Zooey nods and reaches into her black brief case, pulling out a manila folder, and passing it over to me. My smile wavers as I watch her tongue dart out as she licks her lips.

  I like Zooey, she is very smart and a great venture capitalist, but her obvious displays of affection toward me is a bit disconcerting. When we first met, about a week after I was fired, I thought she was the perfect person to help get investors involved in my cause. But after a few weeks, she started putting the moves on me. At first, I just thought it was my imagination, that she was just an overly affectionate sort of person. But then, one day, a few weeks ago, her hand landed on my Captain Cock and didn’t move.

  Yes, Captain Cock was happy with the attention, I, however, was not. I had to remove her hand and explain to her that my heart belonged to another. I never told Zooey that the other woman was Morgana, but it’s really none of her business anyway.

  I open the folder and shuffle through the papers. Zooey gets up. “Excuse me Henrik. I have to use the ladies’ room.” She smoothed out the wrinkles in her white linen pant suit before walking toward the back, around the end of the coffee bar.

  I look back to where Morgana was and see she has moved to the counter and out of my line of sight. I keep rubbing my thumb over my knuckles in frustration. My Cubs baseball cap hides my head, but I am itching to rub at my scalp. I am about to reach into my pocket and pull out some gum when I see Morgana walk to the opposite wall and sit with her back toward me. Trevor shows up a few moments later.

  He better not wimp out. I can see his eyes darting around the shop, glancing at the various tables filled with people, until his gaze lands on me. I smirk and tip my hat up so he can get a better view. Trevor quickly looks back at Morgana, her arms flying wildly in the air now.

  She’s mad, no, furious, livid. I desperately want to hear their conversation.

  “We should go over a few of those forms. Some of the companies offering capital want you to sell their product to local people in the countries we are targeting.” Zooey is now standing in front of me, blocking my view of Morgana.

  “Let’s move over to one of the tables, so we can lay this out.” I point in the direction of Morgana’s table.

  “Okay, you find a table. I’m going to grab a coffee.” Zooey gives a coy smile before moving to the counter.

  I get up and walk closer, making sure Morgana's back is always facing me. I find a seat directly behind her and sit so our backs are facing each other. Leaning back, I can hear exactly what is going on.

  "What do you want Trevor? I know you. You wouldn't have contacted me just to apologize after five years of nothing." Morgana's voice is deep with anger.

  "Look, I have been doing some soul searching and I realized I hurt you by not letting you know about us being filmed." Trevor's voice is pleading. At least he is trying to act sorry.

  "Then take it down. You put it up there, so take it down."

  "Are you fucking kidding me, April? Absolutely not! That thing has over a million hits and is the hottest link on my website." Trevor sounds shocked and I turn to glare at him but he’s too focused on Morgana.

  "Okay, so you wanted me to come here so you could apologize, knowing now how wrong you were, but you won't take down the one thing that upsets me. Tell me how this makes sense Trevor!"

  Trevor just shakes his head as his arms cross over his chest.

  "Stop shaking your stupid head at me! You look like a demented owl or bobble head. You want to rectify things, then take down the video."

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as Trevor leans in and touches her arm. I feel my chest constrict and my teeth clench as I stare at his fingers grazing her wrist.

  "April, you have to understand of all the videos on my website, that's the most popular. I can't take it down. Also, I have had a few inquiries from directors, you know, about you and me possibly making a sequel. There is a lot of cash in it and it's not like we aren't familiar with each other—“ Trevor’s cut off by Morgana abruptly standing and groaning. If she hadn't, I would have. Once she leaves, I am going to have a good talking to with Mr. Beady-eye, except I'm not going to use any words. Maybe I can enhance his beady-eyes with a little bit of color, I think black, blue, and purple would really bring out the shit-brown of his eyes.

  "You’re disgusting Trevor, you know that! Ugh, what did I ever see in you? And to think I wanted to marry you."

  What? Marry...him?

  Both Trevor and I talk and stand at the same time right as Zooey returns with her coffee.

  "Marry him?"

  "Marry me?"

  Morgana’s eyes become saucers as she gazes at me, then back at Trevor, and then landing on Zooey. "What are you doing here Henrik? Wait. Did you...did you set this up?" She points to Trevor as her head tilts in confusion at me.

  "Yeah, he set up the whole thing April. I never wanted to do this. If you should be mad at anyone, be mad at him. Why don't you come back to my place? I get off in an hour and I can dry your tears." He reaches for Morgana's face and I immediately slap it away.

  "Don’t' you fucking touch her!"

  I am trying not to do more damage to his body than a slap as I growl at him, when I turn to see Morgana hold up her hands.

  “What is going on Henrik? Why is Morgana…Oh!” I watch as Zooey’s face morphs from surprise to disappointment and finally disgust upon realizing who Morgana is to me. Her eyes turn to Morgana as they glare daggers at her.

  "This is fucked up. You said you couldn't have me in your life Henrik, and yet here you are, sticking your hand where it doesn’t belong, and with Ms. Slut Hands obviously in your life! Did you see the video,” Morgana lowers her voice with her question and trains her eyes to the ground.

  “Slut Hands? Why you disgusting bitch! At least I know a good thing when I see it and don’t run off to New York at the drop of a hat, swinging my big tits everywhere,” Zooey fumes at Morgana.

  I wince at Zooey’s words and expect a catfight any moment. As I take a quick glance at Trevor, he has a tremendous grin on his face, lifting up his phone to film this. I quickly snatch the cell phone from his grasp and glare at him.

  Morgana surprises me by smirking and then bringing her hands to her chest she starts to massage her breasts. “That’s right, I bring all the boys to my yard. Jealous much?”

  Trevor whimpers as I watch Zooey roll her eyes.

  “Really Henrik? This is what you want? Fine, you can have the condom wrapper-loving freak. I’m heading back to the office. You call me when you want to discuss the paperwork.”

  Zooey starts to walk toward the door but stops and turns toward us just before pushing the glass revolving door. “I respect you as a business man Henrik, but your taste in women is bottom of the barrel.”

  Zooey pushes through the glass door and out into the street.

  “Slut.” Morgana folds her arms while watching Zooey leave.

  "I’m sorry about Zooey. I want you to know I never gave her any indication I was interested in her. As for the video, no I haven't seen it. I just found out about your ex and his sleazy trick on you and I wanted him to apologize. You deserve better than that."

  I lift my hand to touch her arm but she backs away waving me off.

  "I need to leave. I have to get back to work. This is...I can't even think right now. Goodbye Trevor, it very much hasn't been a pleasure seeing you after all these years." She pauses before her eyes sear into mine. "Bye Henrik."

  She turns and I watch her walk off and out the door. Her ass bouncing firmly even under her coat as she leaves. Not now, Captain Cock!

  "Damn that woman still has a tight ass!" Trevor says right before my fist lands on his jaw.

  He falls back on his seat an
d it tips back. Luckily for him, the wall prevents him from falling to the ground. Trevor rubs at his jaw, wincing in pain as he glares up at me. “What the fuck dude!” he yells in that squeaky, pre-pubescent voice he never grew out of.

  I glare down at him, my chest rising and falling rapidly. Then I realize he isn't worth it. Just a loser from Morgana's younger years, when she wasn't the confident smart woman she is today. Only problem is he stayed a loser. Unlucky for him he stayed an idiot too. I throw his phone at him.

  "So, those women on your videos, do they know you filmed them? Did you have them sign a release form?"

  His eyes go wide and in that moment, I know he tricked them just like Morgana.

  "I...uh...that's none of your business."

  He scrambles to get up and tries to walk away, but I’m faster, grabbing his arm and whispering in his ear, "No it's not, but it is their business. I think I recognized a few of them when I viewed your site last night. They would be very interested to know that there is a video of them having sex with you on your site. I'm also friends with a lawyer who could help them deal with their...feelings about all this."

  I let him go as he yanks his arm away, trying to straighten his stance.

  "I could sue you for abuse. I have witnesses." He nervously looks around the café at people who don't even notice us.

  "I tell you what, if you take all those videos down and never post one again, I won't contact the women or my lawyer friend. That includes April's video. But, if you try and sue me, I won't hesitate to contact them and systematically destroy you."

  Trevor is tapping his feet nervously and gritting his teeth.

  "Fine! Fuck! Fine, asshole. I have to get back to work." He storms off as I smirk.

  What an idiot.

  I never looked at his website. I didn't even know he had one until he told Morgana that fifteen minutes ago. If I had seen the website, he would have never made the meeting with Morgana because he would be in the hospital right now.

  I head out of the shop and am about to head toward the El when Edgar's words come into my head, "What would H.I. do?"

  I groan in frustration knowing I will never be able to just walk away from her. So, I helped her out and that eased the pain slightly, but now what? Just forget about her? I can't do that.

  Standing at the corner, I watch as people pass me to cross the street. As much as I don't want her to turn away from me again, I have to try.

  Fuck it. I am going to keep trying until she says yes. Even if I have to make the biggest nuisance of myself and cover myself in frosting, I will do it to win her back. I turn and head back to my place to pick up something. After leaving my condo, I make my way back downtown and go to the one place that knows her better than me, Got Cake.

  Chapter 11

  Payne’s Anti-Rule 5: Learn the Art of Sweet Talk

  I’m sitting on the bench in front of the Mimir building, craning my neck to glance back to watch for the delivery guy. Nothing yet.

  I bring out my phone and check the time as I turn back to face the street, 3:04. They’re late. A bus pulls up and everyone on the bench gets up but me. I glance back again and finally see a guy holding a white box, wearing jeans and a red shirt with a white cake printed on the back, walk into the Mimir building.

  It’s torture to wait another minute before I can rise and casually stroll into the building, but I do it. It feels odd walking through these glass doors that I entered five days a week for ten years. The first couple of years, Mirmir's offices were at a business park outside of Chicago near O'Hare. I hated that commute. The only good thing about it was going the opposite way of traffic.

  Glancing over at the security desk, I see Jim, a man in his mid-fifties with a potbelly from one too many donuts. His dark brown eyes widen in surprise upon spotting me as he’s about to bite into his old fashioned donut, his favorite. I smile and wave as I walk up to the elevator doors. Turning my head back to him, he appears confused but waves just as the doors open to the lift.

  Stepping inside I hope I make it in time before he calls Edgar, or worse, Evaleen. Punching the twenty-eight button several times, optimistic I am the one person in all of elevator history to have the magic touch to make the lift move faster.

  When I make it to the floor I step out and glance around, no one is here. My palms are clammy and I rub them on my navy dress pants as I walk toward my old office. The door is open and I notice no one is around, not even Morgana.

  Nervously I step inside and glance at my old place. There is a new plant in the corner, with a nice pink blanket wrapped around the base, something more for a baby than a plant. Other than that, there is no décor. The walls are bare and the only thing on the desk is a few of Morgana's cake tchotchkes, a laptop, and the white boxes I had delivered.

  "What are you doing here?" A deep male voice comes from behind.

  I turn to see a tall blonde man in a beige suit walking into Morgana's office. At least I think it's her office. The way he’s glaring at me, makes me wonder if she works at another desk.

  "I am looking for Ms. Drake. Is she in a meeting?" I clear my throat trying to sound casual.

  His eyes scan me before widening in understanding as he nods. "Yes, she should be back soon. You must be Kirk, her new assistant; I'm Mr. Novak, Vice President of Consumer Business. She told me she hired someone new. Just to let you know Kirk, Morgana and I work very closely. So, if I am in here with her and the door is closed, don't disturb us, if you catch my drift." He winks his beady hazel eye at me.

  What the fuck? Is she getting it on with him now? I wonder if she just has a thing for executives at this company. Maybe that's why she doesn't want to be with me; I’m no longer an executive, nor at this company.

  I squint my eyes at him, and that’s when I realize he looks familiar, but from where? Then it hits me where I know him from, New York. This is the guy I saw Morgana have dinner with. The guy who put his weaselly arm around her.

  "Henrik? What are you doing here?" I hear her voice and glance past Vice Asshole of Consumer Business to see her luxurious red hair swept up in a bun as her glasses fall down the bridge of her nose.

  As she walks past Executive Dickhead, I notice she has on one of her slightly inappropriate miniskirts that causes her thigh highs to peak out and a tight dark gray matching blazer with a cream silk low cut blouse on underneath. God, she looks like a masterpiece. Sexy as sin and a work of art.

  I have to force myself to pay attention as her plump red lips move.

  "Are you responsible for all these cupcakes that have been coming here over the past couple of hours Henrik?"

  "Henrik? Wait, are you Henrik Payne?" Mr. Novak sidles up beside Morgana, a little too close.

  I want to scream at him to get out but it's not my office anymore. So, instead I sigh and shrug. Morgana has moved on and I didn't think that would happen. She spent weeks with Mr. Novak in New York, and now they work closely together. Honestly, what kind of chance do I have with her now?

  "Yes, I am Henrik Payne. THE Henrik Payne." I lean toward Mr. Novak as I say it, causing him to back away slightly. "Yes, I sent the cupcakes."

  Morgana's dazzling hazel eyes dart around the room, mainly focusing on the floor. After a moment, she looks up at Novak-the-douche. "Jamie, would you mind excusing Mr. Payne and I for a moment? I'll meet you in your office to discuss the overseas consumer business agendas in about ten minutes."

  His eyes flicker between us and he smirks at me, before leaning in to whisper something in her ear. She nods and I try very hard not to punch him. Before he turns to go, he winks at me, and then closes the door behind him.

  "What. An. Asshole!" I can't keep it in anymore.

  Morgana laughs as she walks over to her desk and opens the new box on her desk that just came.

  "He is a bit smarmy, but Jamie is smart and a hard worker. If I am not mistaken, so are you."

  I march over to the other side of her desk and grip the edge. "So I’m smarmy am I?"

&nbs
p; Morgana shakes her head causing her glasses to fall again before she pushes them up the bridge of her nose like a sexy vixen. Even when she’s being difficult, she turns me on.

  "No, smart and a hard worker. Jamie is just a big flirt Henrik; don't let him get to you."

  "Has he gotten to you?" I can't help but ask as I have to know.

  She smirks at me and sits down on what used to be my chair, while putting her feet up on the desk. Holy Mother of God she looks so hot right now. Captain Cock is starting to salute her, so I have to bend over so she doesn't notice. I see her eyes drift down my body to my crotch.

  Thanks Captain Cock!

  "So tell me Henrik, all these cupcakes have a letter on them. I don't understand. Perhaps you could explain it to me."

  Did the bakery not deliver them specifically in the order I asked? I knew the guy behind the counter wasn't paying attention. Next time, I’ll make sure I talk to the manager, not some young twenty-something who looks like he smoked one too many blunts in his life.

  I walk around to Morgana's side of the desk and open the boxes. Yup, just a bunch of cupcakes with random letters on them. I take them out and arrange them how I specified.

  Morgana stands and then shakes her head. "I never asked you to marry me."

  I watch as her finger swipes at the white cream cheese frosting of the red velvet cupcakes that spell: Yes I Will Marry You.

  "I know, but you asked cake to marry you, so I am just helping out my old friend."

  "So you aren't jealous that I plan to marry cake?" She turns to me as she sucks the frosting off her finger. I watch her lips pucker around her glistening fingertip and groan.

  Fuck, what this woman does to me.

  "Why should I be jealous Morgana, you don't want to be with me anymore."

  Her gaze falls to the ground as she removes her finger. "I'm sorry Henrik. I just needed some time to think. You have to admit the past few months have been crazy, for you and for me. Even our entire relationship has been bumpy to say the least. I need to step back and think. Make sure risking my heart with you again is worth it."