More Than I Wanted

by Ava Catori

  Pulling up to the bed and breakfast, I smiled. It looked exactly like the pictures, which was a relief. I wasn’t sure how old the pictures were. The large sand-beige building offered picture sized windows and balconies jutting out in different angles. There was a blue sign with the name of the establishment written in gold letters. The building housed eight separate rooms available to rent out. We’d chosen one that faced the ocean for the best view.

  Austin pulled onto the pebbled parking area and hopped out to get our bags. As I went to step out of his car, I turned my ankle and went down.

  “Ow!” I said, having taken a misstep and landed squarely on the ground.

  Austin ran around to my side, “Are you okay? What happened?”

  I bit my cheek and tried to make light of the situation. “I tripped getting out of the car.” I felt like a fool, but my ankle wasn’t feeling great. I went to stand up, and realized I couldn’t put a lot of weight on it. “This isn’t good,” I groaned.

  He came in close so I could lean against him. “Let’s get you inside so you can sit down. I’ll get some ice before it swells.” He hesitated and choked on his words, “Did you really trip getting out of the car?”

  I rolled my eyes, “Yes.”

  He was trying not to laugh, really he was. He felt badly that he couldn’t stop, nervous laughter was slipping out. “Are you okay?” Before he could stifle it, he burst into a fit of giggles.

  “Hey, it hurts!”

  “I know, I know, I’m so sorry. I’m not laughing at you, well, not because you’re in pain. It’s just that you literally fell out of the car,” he bent over in a full belly laugh.

  I couldn’t help but laugh with him. It became contagious, and it did sound funny. I literally tripped getting out of the car, but it didn’t change the fact that my ankle felt like crap, and I needed to ice it sooner than later.

  “Okay, Mr. Suave, think you can help me inside?”

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he was regaining his composure. “It just hit me, and I couldn’t help myself. Better be careful in the future, that first step out of the car is a rough one,” and he was back into fits of giggles again.

  “It’s fine,” I sighed, “story of my life. I always end up doing weird stuff like this.” I said.

  Helping me into the building, he set me up on a bench as he checked us in. The owner was wonderful and had a bucket of ice and a bag to us as soon as we got to our room. I settled into the arm chair in the corner of the room. Austin folded up a couple of towels raising my foot on the ottoman, and we put an ice bag on the offending area.

  “I’m quite the sexy vision, eh?” I winked at my suitor. “Not quite what we had on the agenda. I’m sorry; I tend to be an accident waiting to happen.”

  “There’s nothing to apologize for. Besides, when you’re finished icing your ankle I’m going to get you horizontal, and you won’t have to put any pressure on it,” he smiled.

  “Oh are you now?”

  “I am, and I’m going to get you naked and run my hands all over your body, kissing every inch of you.”

  “Ooh, I’d like that,” I cooed.

  “I’ll bet you would, my little minx.”

  “Your little minx,” I started laughing. “Is that your attempt at talking dirty, because you’ll have to do better than that if you want me to take my clothes off,” I teased.

  “Mmhmm, I can do better,” he was grinning like a schoolboy. “You just rest up there, cupcake. You’ll need your strength.”

  I smiled at Austin. I’m a lucky girl. I love that man.

  “I think my biggest issue is shoes. I don’t think I’ll be able to get my foot back into my boots to go out for dinner,” I sighed.

  “We’ll get take-out,” he smiled, “and we can eat in. Besides - horizontal, kissing, remember what I mentioned earlier, you won’t need your boots for that.”

  The ice seemed to help, but I was still sore for a little while. He was right though, I wouldn’t be standing a lot that weekend. We ended up in bed quite a bit. It was hard to leave the comfort of the cozy room, snuggling under the covers. Between whispers and caresses, our time was well spent.

  Austin’s soft hands traveled the full length of my body, gently massaging, stroking, and exploring. He’d stop to draw lazy circles, or lean in and kiss me in places like behind my knees, under the curve of my bottom, at the nape of my neck. I was putty in his hands as he teased me with delicate butterfly kisses all over.

  We took turns arousing the other, and then came together as one, tangled in the sheets. Sitting on him, leaning in, my breasts swaying with each movement, I watched as Austin reached his peak. Collapsing into a heap beside him, I smiled with satisfaction, ready for a nap. An afternoon of leisurely love making was all that was on our agenda.

  I woke to a tender, sweet kiss. “Hey,” I said.

  “Hey,” he smiled back, “are you hungry? I’m going to go downstairs and see what snacks Rose has out. What can I get you?”

  “Will you grab me a diet soda or bottle of water?”

  Climbing out of bed, I watched as Austin slid his jeans on. I never got tired of watching him dress or undress.

  He came back with a plate of cookies and a couple of drinks. “I was talking to Rose about your ankle still being sore and not fitting in your boots. She said she could make us something for dinner if you didn’t want to go out. She also said she has a list of menus to local restaurants if we want to do take-out. They were in a binder all together.”

  “Oh, I don’t want to be a bother, I vote take-out. No need for the owner to have to take care of our dinner. We can just get pizza.”

  “I flipped through a couple of the menus downstairs, but didn’t look too closely. She mentioned a few of them are closed during the off season down here, but said quite a few are still opened.”

  “I should just try to shove my foot back into my boot, and I’ll hobble.”

  “Nonsense, there’s no need. We’ll scan the menus and find something. I don’t mind picking up take-out.”

  “You’re so good to me.”

  After settling on a little seafood place, we went with something simple and chose angel hair pasta with shrimp scampi. It was delightful, and we enjoyed an intimate meal while sitting on the bed. As we ate out of the tin foil take-out containers with plastic forks, we laughed and shared stories of our childhoods.

  We didn’t see a lot of daylight. Most of our time was spent in bed that weekend, and before we realized it our time was over and we were driving home. Time seemed to be flying by as our relationship continued to grow.

  Watching the calendar, I realized Austin’s birthday would be here soon. I had no idea what to get him. When it came down to it, we were at that point where we’d been together for a few months, but I was still torn on gift ideas. If I did something too personal, would he think I was expecting too much? If I didn’t do enough, would he feel like I wasn’t committed?

  I went back and forth between picking out a nice watch for him and opting for an experience like tickets to a ball game. Heather said I was over thinking it, and anything would be fine, but I wanted to get it right! If I got him a watch, he’d always have it, but a ball game would be over as soon as it was over. On the other hand, our ball teams were lining up for a game against one another and that could be fun too – if I could score tickets.

  Groaning, I couldn’t decide what to do. After enough back and forth, I went for the game tickets. When it came down to it, we would have a fun day cheering on our own teams, and have a friendly little competition. I hoped to God he wasn’t one of those guys that painted his body in his team colors on the day of the game. Maybe I should pick him up a casual team sweatshirt or jersey for game day – it might sway him away from game day body paint if that was his thing!

  I was so excited to give Austin his birthday gift, but I wanted to wait until after dinner. I made lasagna and garlic bread for him, and would give him the tickets after we ate. I was
feeling really good about my choice, and knew he’d be excited.

  Funny, I thought lasagna would be a great choice. I imagined us sipping wine, dining, and then getting randy later. I didn’t anticipate how heavy the pasta would feel in our bellies, and we were more tired and sluggish after that meal, then ready to go get naked and busy. Not to mention garlic, yeah, not a great choice! Live and learn.

  When I finally revealed Austin’s birthday gift surprise, I was stunned when he hugged me and said, “Should I take Jake or Scott?”

  “What do you mean?” This was hardly the reaction I was expecting.

  “Well, Scott is more into football, but Jake can be a blast to hang out with,” he was oblivious.

  “Umm, hello,” I said, surprised he hadn’t thought of me first.

  “Huh, what? Did I forget to say thank-you? I’m so sorry,” he said pulling me into another hug, “Thank you, sweetheart.”

  Rolling my eyes, “I sort of got the tickets for us, like for you and me to go together.” I felt kind of foolish having to say it out loud.

  “Oh, I didn’t realize, I’m so sorry.” He begged forgiveness; he hadn’t even considered that the tickets were supposed to be for the two of us.

  I stood looking at him. I almost felt guilty in that moment. He should take who ever he wants. I just thought he would automatically think of me, but I guess I’m just a girl and he didn’t see me as a football buddy. I was kind of bummed, but hid it the best I was able. Okay, who am I kidding; I hid it for all of a few minutes.

  “You really didn’t think of me?” I didn’t want to feel hurt, but I kind of was. Why wouldn’t he automatically choose me first?

  He pulled me close, “Oh honey, I’d love to go with you. I guess I just don’t see you as a huge football fan. I mean, I know you watch it time to time, but I figured you were just…I don’t know what I thought. Of course I’d love going with you.”

  “I thought it would be fun. Our teams are playing one another, the rivalry, you know,” I felt like an idiot for still feeling wounded. I guess my expectations were different. The worst part is he did nothing wrong, not a damn thing, but my feelings still got hurt. I hated how I blew up these little things out of proportion. I reeled it in and swallowed my pride.

  “It’ll be great. Let me show you how much I appreciate you thinking of me like this,” he said, sweetly kissing my lips. “We can go into the bedroom…”

  I cut him off, “And what sleep? After all that lasagna and garlic bread, all I want to do is nap.” So maybe I was holding a tiny grudge, sue me. I felt badly. I shouldn’t do this, it’s his birthday, he was happy, he didn’t do anything wrong…why do I play these games?

  I got over myself and took his hand. “We can at least snuggle,” I said, pasting a smile on my face. Let it go.

  Napping is exactly what we ended up doing; the hot sex was curtailed until later.

  Chapter 16

  I woke up to heavy rain. Listening to it hit the window, I was glad to be warm under the covers. I’d intended on getting in a long run in the morning, but all I wanted to do was stay beside Austin. At least it was still late and I could sleep. Maybe I’d still get that run in, we’ll see. I made excuses while I curled into my lover.

  When the phone rang, it took me by surprise. Who would be calling this late? I crawled out of bed and grabbed my cell phone off of the dresser. Weird, it was Scott. “Hello,” I whispered into the phone.

  “Kate, it’s Scott, Heather was in an accident. We’re over at Mercy General,” he sounded disjointed.

  “Is she okay, what about the baby?” I tried to remain calm.

  “We don’t know yet,” he finished. “She’s asking for you, she’s scared. I need to call her parents, can you get here?”

  “I’m on my way,” I quickly pulled on my jeans and woke up Austin.

  “Austin, baby, wake up,” I said trying to gently nudge him awake. “Heather was in an accident, we need to go to the hospital.”

  His face went pale. “Is she okay?”

  “I don’t know, Scott just called,” I said pulling a shirt over my head. “Can you drive me?”

  “Yeah,” he said, but something seemed off. I couldn’t place it.

  Quickly gathering our things, we headed out to his car and rushed over to the hospital. Austin could wait with Scott and help him through, and apparently she was asking for me. Her parents didn’t live nearby, so maybe she just wanted those close to her around.”

  “Do you know how bad it is?” He asked.

  “He doesn’t know much yet, I asked about the baby, but I think they were still checking things.”

  “Oh, I hope she doesn’t lose the baby, they were so happy.”

  “I know,” we drove the rest of the way in silence.

  Pulling up and parking, Austin stood at the car with his hands in his pockets.

  “Come on, are you ready?” I prodded to get him moving. He seemed stuck.

  “I don’t do hospitals well. Maybe I could just stay here, or wait outside. Just let Scott know I’m here,” he said, looking down.

  “What? You don’t want to go inside?”

  “I can’t…not right now. I know you don’t understand, but please don’t press me.”

  I was confused, but if he can’t do hospitals he can’t do hospitals. I left him behind and went inside. I texted Scott telling him that I was here. He directed me to where he was, and then took me to see Heather.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, worried about Heather.

  He looked drained, tired from the stressful situation. “I don’t know all of the details. She was coming back from visiting friends, and it was late with low visibility. I got a call that she was here and rushed over. I’ve seen her, but she’s not sure of everything, and just said it happened really fast. A car was coming through a stop sign and didn’t stop, it clipped her car. She hit a tree and the airbag deployed, but her mind went foggy from the shock. She doesn’t remember much more. They’ve heard a heart beat, so we think the baby is okay, but they’re running some tests. They’ll probably keep her overnight, but she kept asking for you. I told her I’d call you.”

  When she was back to her temporary room after a bunch of tests, I was allowed to go sit with her. “Hey,” I said, quietly walking behind the curtained space. “How are you doing?”

  “Better now, I was so scared. It looks like she’s going to be okay,” she said, visibly relieved and rubbing her belly. I could tell she’d been shaken. “I was worried about the baby.”

  “Scott said you were asking for me,” I said, wondering if there was something she wanted to say.

  “I was so scared, what if something happened to me? I never got a chance to tell you, I want you to be a part of our child’s life. If something happened to me…” she stopped herself, not wanting to cry. “Would you step in, help out Scott. He’d be lost doing it all by himself. She could call you Aunt Kate,” she said.

  “Of course I’d help out,” I said. “Don’t even let something like that cross your mind.” I leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I’m so glad to see you, and know you’re okay. When he called, I was so scared…” I stopped for the same reason she did, trying to control the crack in my voice.

  “I don’t have any brothers or sisters, being an only child, I just… you’re my best friend.”

  “And you’re mine. Heather, I’ll be here, but so will you,” I said, exhaling deeply. “Thank goodness you’re okay.”

  “One more thing, they did an ultrasound and I know the sex of the baby,” she smiled softly.

  “Yeah?”

  “We’re having a girl,” she whispered. “He doesn’t want to know yet.”

  “Congratulations,” I whispered back. “Do you want me to go get Scott now?”

  “That would be great,” she said. She looked tired. “And thank you for coming. I was so scared I wouldn’t be able to tell you – it just happened so fast, my thoughts were clouded, and I didn’t know what was going on. You could s
tep in, be her Auntie Kate, you know just sort of be in her life.”

  After Scott was back at her side, I headed out to greet Austin. He was waiting outside of the sliding glass doors at the hospital entrance.

  “Is everything okay?” He asked, anxious to hear the news.

  “She seems to be, but they’ll keep her for observation. They ran some tests, and it looks like their baby is okay. She was scared, wanted to ask me to step in if something should happen to her, be a part of their daughter’s life.” I slipped. “Oops, sorry, I wasn’t supposed to say that part. They’re having a girl, but Scott doesn’t know yet. He wants to wait. Please don’t say anything to him.”

  “That’s a relief,” he said. “A girl, huh, if she’s anything like Heather, she’ll be a treasure. She’s a sweet girl.”

  “Yeah, I felt so much better seeing her.” I exhaled letting the events of the night go, knowing Heather would be resting safely tonight, their daughter was okay, and Scott was sitting by her side.

  Austin started talking quietly as we walked to the car. “During my last tour, I saw a hospital blow up, innocent children were hurt, and there was nothing I could do. I went to help as many as I could, but our unit was ordered to evacuate as quickly as possible because there was heavy fire, and more bombs going off. I could hear cries, screams,” he said quietly. “It’s one of the things that still gives me nightmares time to time. It’s a brutal life over there, tragic. It’s gorilla warfare and they don’t care who they hurt, it’s truly horrific at times. The dead bodies,” he stopped and took a breath, “I dread going back.”

  It’s the most he’d ever said about what happened. I reached down and squeezed his hand as we reached the car. “That must have been horrible, and to be trapped with the memories, I can’t even imagine.” It was a lot to take in. I couldn’t fathom what it would be like to live with those kinds of memories.

  “Anyway, I don’t do hospitals well,” he said. “I’m just not ready.”

  “It’s okay. If you ever want to talk about this stuff, I’m here. I can listen or discuss it, or whatever you need.” I tried to be sympathetic, but what do you say to something like that? I hated that he had to go through that, and wondered if it would haunt him forever. Would time heal those kinds of psychological wounds?