STAR HOUNDS -- OMNIBUS

by David Bischoff

  The doctor did not start, but casually turned their way, raising a set of multilensed goggles from his eyes. His shock of white hair was wild and uncombed.

  “So this is where the robots get made,” Laura said. “I don’t suppose there are any little elf helpers tripping about here and there, Doctor.”

  “You’d be surprised,” Northern said.

  “Ah. Pilot Shemzak,” said the doctor. “I was expecting you, and you are welcome, very welcome. I look forward to examining your XT Mark Nine.”

  “How did you—”

  “Now, I suppose you are probably wondering why you’ve been allowed to enter this old wizard’s sanctum sanctorum. I suppose it’s just a matter of fair play. Tit for tat, so to speak. Many secrets in here the Federation would pay a lot of money for.” He gestured airily. Then a gleam crept into his eyes. “Do you believe that?”

  Laura looked around at the machinery, all meaningless to her. “As a matter of fact, Doctor, the camera implants in my eye are taking detailed pictures for the Overfriends even as we speak.”

  “Even as we speak!” The doctor clapped his hands together approvingly. “Now then, to business. I understand that even you are not aware of the total capabilities of the new model XT. You mentioned a manual earlier.” Laura nodded, accepting that he had been listening to at least part of her conversation with the captain.

  “Well, Pilot, I should like to make a simple request. In order to fully orchestrate our rescue attempt for your brother, we’re going to need to have a discussion of both your capabilities and ours. I’d like to do that as early as possible tomorrow morning, so I have to ask you to devote your time tonight to that manual, even if you lose sleep over it.”

  Laura wished she hadn’t lied to Northern about the manual.

  “Doctor, I should warn you. She flies from her gut!” said the captain, teasing.

  “Goddammit, Northern!” Laura said, spinning on him. “Shut your big mouth.” She turned back to Dr. Mish. “Of course I will, Doctor. You’ve already been working with the transfer of relevant information from my ship’s computer?”

  “Yes, I have. Our auxiliary computer has provided us with a number of interesting possibilities, given our present knowledge of the Jaxdrons and Baleful. I did want to ask you if your brother has any implants like yours. If so, he might well emit some sort of tracking signal we might home in on for identification purposes.”

  “No. No, not that I know of. Cal was always very proud of the fact that he had no implants. Called himself virgin. Pure as the driven snow. He is a rarity in the age where scientists routinely insert brain augmenter cartridges.”

  “He hypothesizes from his gut?” asked Northern.

  Laura kicked him. “I told you to shut up, Captain!” She turned back to Mish.

  “As I was saying, Doctor, Cal wasn’t that type, and he was very upset when the aptitude folks came and told me that I was blip-ship material.” She smiled wistfully. “He even tried to break into the computer and change my designation, which infuriated me. I wanted to be a pilot, and if I had to carry around some silicon and metal inside me, well, those were the breaks. If that’s what they wanted me to do, then fine, I told him. This time, I was going with the flow, and he wasn’t, which was strange. I think that’s been a problem between us ever since—his inability to accept that even though I’ve got all this extra baggage, I’m still me. I don’t know, Doctor—he has this contempt for things men make, I guess, make and then worship. That’s the way he puts it, anyway.”

  Dr. Mish nodded thoughtfully. “Yes. Though he seems not to have minded working at the chores the Federation wanted him to.”

  “Not exactly. Oh, he’d do the stuff, but he had this incredibly perverse attitude about it, as though it were all just a big sandbox for him and he’d dig the holes they wanted, but he’d also build castles just to knock them over. And they’re wonderful castles, and I’m not sure if the Federation truly appreciates them. I know I don’t.”

  “Castles,” Dr. Mish said. “An interesting way of terming it. And knocking them over is very important. I look forward to meeting your brother, perhaps even working with him. But I wish your brother’s stance on implants had not been so hard. Even a neocortex augmenter would have been useful for detection purposes. We’ll just have to risk a quick survey over Baleful before we go in.”

  “Wait a moment, Doctor. It just occurs to me. Since we’re pretty certain he is on Baleful and if he knows he’s on Baleful, well, he knows me pretty damned well, and he knows I would try to come for him.”

  “You think he’d try to set up some kind of beacon for us?” Dr. Mish said hopefully.

  “I know so!” She smiled. “And I think I know what sort it might be!”

  “My word,” Northern said, noting Laura’s uncharacteristic smile, “I believe we’ve a beaming brother and sister act.”

  He stepped back to avoid any kicks.

  Chapter Twenty

  When Chivon Lasster was summoned to Overfriend Zarpfrin’s office she knew the reason. Lieutenant Kat Mizel of the pirate/mercenary starship Starbow had been shipped in yesterday. Overfriend Zarpfrin wanted Lasster there to discuss strategy, now that Mizel had been cleared through security and deemed safe for an audience.

  “Small universe, right, Lasster?” the statuesque woman said ironically when Chivon stepped into the Overfriend’s plush office.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” Chivon said, for she had never met Kat Mizel before.

  The two women examined each other appraisingly, Mizel a little more frank in her stare.

  “What I think Lieutenant Mizel means,” Overfriend Zarpfrin said, clearly amused, “is that you have both had experience with a certain traitorous Federation pilot who stole one of our starships and became a menace of the starways.”

  “It’s an experience all right,” Mizel said through gritted teeth. She was quite lovely in a hard, sour way, classic proportions combined with a powerful, muscular build. The only softness was in her mouth and her violet eyes, eyes that smoldered now at the mention of Captain Tars Northern. Chivon knew that look well, from the expression in the eyes to the tenseness of the facial muscles. It was the look of a woman scorned … a look that she had seen in mirrors some years back.

  But how did Zarpfrin intend to use her?

  “It was an unfortunate choice on my part when the Starbow was in the project,” Chivon said. “But as we have been promised, these things are just ripples on the ocean of ourselves.”

  “I just can’t see you and Northern together,” Mizel said, shaking her head. “Never knew he went for ice maidens. Oh well,” she said sadly, “his tastes are open-minded, I suppose. He’s probably having a high old time right now with that nymphet who conked me on the Ezekiel. You know, I always thought that if something like this happened, that bastard would come and get me. But he didn’t.”

  “You see, Friend Lasster, apparently Lieutenant Mizel and the captain were practicing a variant of the barbaric ritual called ‘marriage.’”

  Chivon Lasster sat down. A kind of emptiness had opened inside of her that had no name. “How ludicrous,” she murmured.

  “The developments seem clear enough,” said Overfriend Zarpfrin. “Quite a coincidence. Two birds with one stone … but from all accounts the stone has turned traitor as well.” He picked up the reports. “I trust you’ve gone over these, Friend Lasster.”

  “I can’t believe it,” Mizel said, shaking her head. “Did you drill a hole in that blippie’s head, too?”

  “Her mission was not my idea,” Chivon Lasster said.

  “Laura Shemzak is a determined woman,” said Zarpfrin, “and a pragmatic one as well. Anything she has done, from departing the Ezekiel to rescuing Captain Northern on Shortchild, can easily be interpreted as means to her end: to rescue her brother from the Jaxdron.”

  “You mean she clobbe
red me and snuck on board the Starbow to save her brother?” Mizel said.

  “No. She saw it as a faster way to Shortchild. You were just an expedient, a convenience. I’m sure there was nothing personal.”

  “So how come she broke Northern out of jail?”

  “Having some personal experience with Laura Shemzak,” said Chivon, “I can assure you that Captain Northern paid and is paying a dear price for his liberty. We gave Shemzak no aid in this operation other than the use of a new-model blip-ship. I’m sure she jumped at the opportunity of allies.”

  “No,” Kat Mizel said vehemently. “No, it’s more than that. He was tired of me. He wanted a new playmate and now he’s got one and that’s why she did it. A woman doesn’t turn and bite the hand that feeds her unless there’s another hand fooling around somewhere else.” She turned away. “That bastard. He never loved me.” Her eyes glistened with tears.

  Zarpfrin cleared his throat. Chivon Lasster expected him to deliver a long lecture upon the stupidities of possessive emotions and how the Way of the Friends would cleanse Lieutenant Mizel of her sullied feelings, would redeem her spirit.

  But he did not.

  “Yes,” he said, “I always thought that Captain Northern was an amazingly handsome and charismatic male. He always had a way with women, didn’t he, Friend Lasster?”

  “Yes,” Chivon said uncomfortably, keeping tight rein on her voice. “However, I’m sure that your records will show that if Tars Northern kept … company … with a woman, he did not seek sexual satisfaction with any other woman. You remember, Overfriend, that this was considered quite an aberration. Northern established firm bonds with his partners, and this was frowned upon by the social examiners and, if I may say so, yourself.”

  “Well, of course! Such behavior flagrantly flouts our Free Spirit codes. Individual liberty above all except service of the Federation. The Federation gives us the peace and the power to be free.” He turned to Kat Mizel. “But as you are from a world which imprisons itself with its separatism, you would not know that, would you? I see, Lieutenant Mizel, why you feel you were wronged. The scoundrel created a bond with you and then deserted you for another. I know that Laura Shemzak is a sexually vital female, and must admit that I myself was not unattracted to her. Does it bother you, then, that, parsecs away, these unimportant bits of biology may be stroking each other even now, whispering promises of undying devotion as they rut their way toward an ecstasy that Captain Northern may never have been able to obtain with you?”

  Kat Mizel’s face was getting red.

  “I always thought that Captain Northern’s vaunted integrity was somehow suspect,” Zarpfrin said with undisguised glee. “Yet another crime that can be tacked to the man’s list.”

  “You don’t know the half of it,” Mizel said bitterly. “I could tell you tales of that man’s escapades, his drinking, his viciousness and anger, his cruelty—”

  “It sounds as though he is a person who must be brought to justice, Kat Mizel.” Zarpfrin leaned back in his padded chair. “Of course you must realize that you also are, in the eyes of the Federation, a criminal. We have some interesting punishments, Lieutenant Mize!. Punishments I need not go into, I’m sure, for our purposes. I will also say that your cooperation after your capture aboard the Ezekiel allowed us to apprehend Captain Northern on Shortchild. It is not your fault he escaped. For this reason, I have been granted the authority by the council of Overfriends to entreat further cooperation.”

  “You’re saying that if I help you get Northern again, maybe even help get this wretched Shemzak blippie back, then you won’t stick me on some godforsaken hellhole prison planet?”

  “That is correct,” said Zarpfrin. “What is most important, however, is neither Northern nor Shemzak but the Starbow. Naturally, we want to apprehend both your … husband and Laura Shemzak once they return from their mission. We will not harm them. We merely wish to … let us say, correct some faulty circuitry in their minds. So rest assured that your ex-lover will come to no harm.”

  “As far as I’m concerned, you can use him for spare body parts, just as long as he knows that it was me who helped you.”

  “No matter. However, please believe me, the Starbow is a dangerous ship. It must be destroyed, as its sister ships were destroyed years ago. It is a menace to all humanity.”

  Lieutenant Kat Mizel was incredulous. “The Starbow? It’s just a bunch of metal with a stardrive tacked on and a computer to make sure it doesn’t smash into any moons. What do you want to destroy it for?”

  “Then Captain Northern never confided in you the true nature of the Starbow?” Chivon Lasster said. “What’s to confide? It’s just a dandy, fast, maneuverable ship that Northern said he took a shine to and decided to use in his new pi-mere career.” Mizel seemed genuinely confused.

  “Well, if he didn’t tell her, he must not have mentioned this to anyone else on the crew,” Overfriend Zarpfrin said. “Except Mish, of course.”

  “Dr. Mish? That crazy old coot?”

  Zarpfrin faced the captive. “I am happy that you intend to cooperate with us. I know how much of a threat the Starbow is to the human race because I helped create it. I have sworn to track it down before it can harm all that I have dedicated my life to. It is fortunate that we have crossed paths with the Starbow and its crew again. I must have the Starbow,” Zarpfrin said, leaning over toward Kat Mizel. “And you are a trump card in my game.”

  But Laura Shemzak, thought Friend Chivon Lasster, is the joker.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  The Starbow slipped out• of the mathematical unreality of Underspace back into classical physics millions of kilometers from the rotational axis of the binary stars known as the Witch’s Tits.

  Laura was on the bridge at the time. The usual feeling of mental and physical disorientation swept through her like a cold shower after a sauna. This was the time a starship was most vulnerable; the Starbow crew, dispersed at their stations, were therefore ready for any defensive measures needed.

  Nothing awaited them but the stuff of space and a stunning view of the Coridian system: seven planets in orbit around two dissimilar suns, Hecate and Hades, locked into an infernal dance. The backdrop, stars and stars and stars, more stars, it seemed, than darkness, glittered like some magnificent grotto alive with jewels.

  “Amazing,” said Dr. Michael Mish, glancing down at his sensor board. “A splendidly clean entry. Ship’s integrity stands at a virtual one hundred percent. All Underspace emergences should be so easy.”

  “Because of the Fault, Doctor?” Captain Northern asked.

  “Yes, I suppose so. Things in this system are a bit closer to shift point. I suggest that we take that into account in all our actions.”

  “Course to Baleful, fifth planet in system, plotted and locked into the pilot computer, Captain,” Navigational Officer Dansen Jitt announced. “Standard approach at six percent light speed, with Baleful orbit achieved in 25.2 GalFed standard hours. And if I may say so, this place gives me the willies, sir.”

  “Someone pissing on your grave, eh, Jitt?” the communications officer, Lieutenant Tether Mayz said, looking up from her pulse sequence array.

  “Well,” said Captain Northern, “let’s hope it’s not a mass burial, shall we?”

  Laura looked up from an intense study of Lieutenant Mayz’s board. “I don’t see a damned thing, Captain. Let me go and scout. I can be there and back in two hours.”

  “That was not our agreement, Laura,” the captain said.

  “What the hell do you care, Northern? If I get wasted, then your obligation is through. You can turn tail and run, just like you did to your beloved wife back by the Ezekiel!” She placed her hand impudently on her hip.

  A brief twinge passed over Captain Northern’s face. He swiveled his chair so that he faced away from her. His voice was cool. “Pilot Shemzak, you may not realize that, i
n our contract, the stipulation was that my duties to the Starbow overrode my duties to Lieutenant Kat Mizel.”

  “You didn’t sound real unhappy about my leaving her back in that linen closet!” she said, hoping his anger would prod him into allowing her to jump ahead to Baleful.

  “My relieved state was incidental. I am a man of my word, as I have indicated. True, I enjoy the odd dance and debauch within the confines of my agreements, enjoy the occasional joke. Sometimes I exceed the bounds of the polite. However, in the complex weave of my commitments, I have my priorities, and the success of this mission, as well as the safety of my ship and crew, is much more important than a silly little girl’s antsy pants!”

  “Silly little girl!” Laura said, angry now herself. “Northern, in my four years with the Federation, I have seen things and done things that have put me parsecs away from my silly-little-girl days.”

  “Gentlemen,” said Northern. “Please proceed as ordered—”

  “Captain, may I talk to you privately?” Laura Shemzak requested tersely.

  “I don’t see why not, Pilot. We have plenty of time before we reach orbit around Baleful and our plan proceeds.” He turned to First Mate Thur. “Arkm, you have the conn.”

  In his cabin, Captain Northern went first to the bar, then changed his mind, going to the refrigerator instead for a bottle of seltzer and a lime.

  “Back in the old days, sailing ships on Earth, it was the English who discovered that it was their salt pork diet that gave them scurvy and that by carrying plenty of these”—he tossed the green fruit up, caught it—“and eating them, one could get the necessary vitamin C. So though others called them ‘Limeys,’ the other navies soon began eating citrus as well.” He got out glasses. “Would you care for a drink, Pilot Shemzak?”

  “No. I want to know why you won’t give me permission to make a simple scouting mission.”