Jack Riordan's Baby

by Anne Mather

  Mrs Grady was standing in the middle of the room, evidently unsure of herself, and Rachel gestured towards one of the armchairs that flanked the empty fireplace. ‘Sit down.’ She perched on the chair opposite, elbows propped on her thighs. ‘What is this all about? Is Jack ill again?’

  Mrs Grady sighed. ‘He’s—not well,’ she conceded reluctantly. ‘As a matter of fact, he hasn’t been well for a while.’

  ‘I know that.’ Rachel was impatient. ‘He told me he’d been working too hard. That was why he went to Ireland. Because he needed a break.’

  ‘Yes.’ Mrs Grady bit her lip. ‘That is what he told you. I know that.’ She paused. ‘But did you never think that taking six months away from the office was rather excessive for someone who’d just been overworking?’

  ‘Six months?’ Rachel shook her head. ‘He told me he was going to Ireland for a month—six weeks at the outside. He didn’t say anything about six months!’

  ‘No, well—I don’t suppose he wanted to worry you.’

  ‘Worry me?’ Rachel got to her feet now, pushing her hands deep into the pockets of her shorts. ‘He didn’t worry me, no. But you are, Mrs Grady. What are you trying to say? That Jack lied about his condition?’

  Mrs Grady looked discomforted. ‘He didn’t—lie, exactly.’

  ‘But he didn’t tell the whole truth, right?’ Rachel could feel the panic rising inside her, but she had to keep control of her emotions. ‘Yes, he’s very good at that,’ she added bitterly.

  ‘You don’t understand, Mrs Riordan.’

  ‘What don’t I understand? That Jack didn’t want to tell me he’d been advised to take six months off instead of six weeks? Why was that, I wonder? Were the demands of leading a double life getting too much for him?’

  ‘Mr Riordan hasn’t been leading a double life.’ Mrs Grady rose from her chair with unexpected dignity. ‘I can’t believe you still think he has. But, if you do, I don’t think there’s any point in my continuing with this.’ She looped the strap of her handbag over her arm and started for the door. ‘It’s time I was getting back anyway.’

  ‘No. Wait!’ Rachel couldn’t let her go without explaining her situation. ‘I’m sorry. I know I sound bitter, but it has been a pretty traumatic time for me, too.’

  Mrs Grady nodded. ‘The accident? Yes, I can understand that.’

  ‘And—and the things that woman said.’ Rachel pressed her hands together. ‘If—if they weren’t true, don’t you think Jack should have told me?’

  Mrs Grady hesitated. ‘The accident was four weeks ago, Mrs Riordan, but you’re still staying with Ms Robards, aren’t you?’

  ‘And you know why.’

  ‘Do I?’

  ‘Yes.’ Rachel spread her arms now. ‘I’ve just explained. I can’t go back to the house. Not when Jack—’

  ‘Not when Jack what?’

  Rachel heaved sigh. ‘Look,’ she said, ‘I realise you’re on Jack’s side—’

  ‘I’m on nobody’s side, Mrs Riordan.’

  ‘—but even you have to admit he’s been pretty cavalier about the whole thing. Dammit, he didn’t even bother to contact me when I—when I had the fall. As far as he’s concerned, it never happened.’

  ‘He didn’t know,’ said Mrs Grady simply, but Rachel only gave a disbelieving snort.

  ‘Of course he knew. George Thomas phoned and told him the night I was taken to the hospital. Lucy assured me of that.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘What do you mean, no?’

  ‘He didn’t know,’ insisted Mrs Grady doggedly. ‘Like you, I thought he did. Good heavens, I’d have phoned him myself if I’d suspected that—’ She broke off. ‘Whatever. He definitely knew nothing about it when he first got back. I can vouch for that.’

  Rachel frowned. There was something odd about that statement, but she couldn’t decide what it was. Why was Mrs Grady so sure Jack was telling the truth?

  Shaking her head, she let it go. ‘Well, all right,’ she said. ‘If you’re saying there was some sort of mix-up over the phone call, I’ll have to accept it.’ But then, on surer ground, ‘Still, you can’t deny he’s been home for over two weeks now, and he hasn’t even bothered to call or pick up the phone.’

  ‘No.’ Mrs Grady was forced to concede that, and Rachel felt a little vindication for her behaviour. But then the woman went on, ‘He can’t. Or won’t,’ she amended darkly. ‘Oh, Mrs Riordan, he’s going to hate me for telling you this, but—well, the night he got back from Ireland, he collapsed.’

  ‘Collapsed!’ Nausea rose in Rachel’s throat again as the possibility that she might be to blame swept over her.

  ‘And—and since he got home from the hospital,’ continued Mrs Grady unhappily, ‘he’s been prowling round that house like a wounded beast!’

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  WHERE THE HELL was Mrs Grady?

  Jack had awakened a few minutes ago, hot and thirsty, his back aching from the awkward position he’d been in while he slept. But then, when he’d flung himself into the leather chair at the bureau in the den he’d intended to riffle through his correspondence, not fall asleep.

  It was the damn drugs the doctor was pumping into him that were responsible, he thought irritably, pushing himself upright, aware that his mouth tasted like the bottom of a parrot’s cage. Drugs that were meant to control his heartbeat, but instead were as good as a sleeping draught in the middle of the afternoon.

  His shoulders sagged. As if he needed anything to control his heartbeat now, he thought grimly. Rachel had left him, and nothing Karen Johnson did from this point on was of any interest to him. His marriage was over; his life was over. As soon as he could, he was going to resign his position at Fox Construction and take himself back to Ireland.

  He pushed himself to his feet, flexed his shoulders, and ambled along to the kitchen. But Mrs Grady wasn’t there. Taking down a glass, he filled it at the tap. He drank the water, staring out at the rain splashing off the roof of Rachel’s studio and wondered if she’d come back here once he was gone. Probably, he reflected dourly. It was only because he was here that she was keeping away.

  Perhaps he should have phoned her. He’d wanted to. He’d been worried sick about her, goodness knew. But he doubted she’d want to hear from him. Apart from the lies Karen had told her—lies she must have believed if her continued absence was anything to go by—he hadn’t wanted to admit what had happened to him when he got back. He’d been afraid he might make a fool of himself again. Dear God, collapsing in front of Mrs Grady when she’d told him about Rachel’s fall hadn’t been his proudest moment.

  In any case, so far he’d succeeded in keeping the less palatable aspects of his condition to himself, and if he had anything to do with it it would stay that way. Rachel was a beautiful, intelligent woman, and she deserved better than a clapped-out crock who’d somehow managed to screw up every part of his life to date.

  He certainly didn’t believe the shrink who’d come to see him while he was in the hospital. Obviously someone who was recovering from an attack that had limited the amount of blood entering the heart might be suffering depression, but he didn’t need any mind doctor telling him that there was no reason why he shouldn’t make a full recovery.

  His diagnosis—that Jack’s problems were possibly as much psychological as physical—hadn’t won him any favours. Jack refused to discuss the personal details of his marriage with anyone, least of all a stranger, even if the guy had found out about Rachel’s miscarriages and the obvious strain that had put on both of them.

  Okay, he thought now, so maybe their estrangement had played a contributory role in the way his body was behaving now. Losing three babies and the wife you loved more than life itself could do that to you. Rachel had coped with it in her own way, which hadn’t made it any easier for him. Was the shrink right? In his efforts to remain in control, hadn’t he allowed himself time to grieve?

  Whatever, it was true that that was when he’d started spending more a
nd more time at the office—tendering for bigger and better contracts, using work to numb his mind to other things. He’d tried to behave as if Rachel’s withdrawal wasn’t tearing him apart. And then, when Karen Johnson had begun stalking him…

  He shuddered. Although she could do no more damage in his life, Jack couldn’t prevent the twinge of desperation he felt at the harm that woman had caused. If only he hadn’t felt sorry for her; if only he’d never invited her out. Then she’d have had no grounds for her accusations. She might have found someone else to use as a fall guy. The real father of her child, perhaps.

  He frowned, remembering what his mother had said. Who was responsible for Karen’s getting pregnant? Who was the father of the child she was carrying? Although it was hard to believe, it could be someone from the office. One of the other executives, even.

  He heard the sound of Mrs Grady’s car and abandoned the thought, turning to prop his hips against the unit behind him. The housekeeper must have taken the opportunity to do a bit of shopping while he was flaked out in the den. He grimaced. He knew he was a demanding patient. And she’d certainly been worth her weight in gold since she’d discovered the extent of his deception. He didn’t know how he’d have managed without her these past couple of weeks.

  He heard the outer door open, but although he waited expectantly Mrs Grady didn’t come into the kitchen. She was probably checking up on him, he mused. He’d been dead to the world when she went out. He’d better let her know where he was before she started searching the house.

  Finishing the water, he dropped the glass into the sink and pushed away from the unit. Then, opening the kitchen door, he strolled into the entrance hall.

  There was no sign of the housekeeper, however. Guessing she must have gone into the den, he headed in that direction—and almost bumped into Rachel, who was just coming out.

  ‘My God!’ To his annoyance, her sudden appearance caused him to clutch at the frame of the door for support. She was the last person he’d expected to see, and he struggled to comprehend how she came to be here. ‘I thought it was Mrs Grady’s car I heard.’

  ‘It was.’ Rachel moistened her lips, watching him with wary eyes. ‘I borrowed it.’

  Jack blinked. ‘So where is she?’

  As if he cared where the housekeeper was, he thought grimly. Just looking at Rachel made a mockery of the plans he’d been making for his future. How could he leave, feeling as he did about her? Already his body was betraying him, responding to her nearness with an urgency that was trying to drive all sane thoughts out of his head.

  She looked so good. A little thinner, perhaps, but just as beautiful as ever, in spite of her ordeal on the cliff. In a simple apricot silk vest and shorts, she brought a touch of sunshine to the rain-shadowed hallway, and if her eyes seemed a little darker than normal, it was probably because he’d startled her, too.

  And then Rachel said, ‘She’s at Lucy’s,’ and suddenly everything fell into place. It wasn’t a desperate need to see him again that had brought her here, but pity after what the other woman must have told her.

  ‘I see,’ he said, straightening up almost defensively. ‘Mrs Grady has finally shown her true colours. All the same, I’m surprised Lucy was in favour of you coming here.’

  ‘Lucy doesn’t know,’ said Rachel quickly, wishing she didn’t feel so helpless. There was so much she wanted to say, but just being with Jack again was making her feel weak. In a black tee shirt and his old jeans, his feet bare below the hems of his pants, he looked lean and dark and as gorgeous as she remembered. She so much wanted to touch him, and it was hard to face his skepticism now.

  Jack’s lips twisted at her words. ‘No kidding,’ he mocked. ‘Now, why didn’t I think of that?’

  Rachel quivered. ‘Don’t be like this.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘You know.’ She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. ‘Jack, I know you didn’t know about my accident before you came home. Mrs Grady’s just told me.’

  ‘And of course Mrs Grady never lies. Only breaks confidences,’ he responded, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. ‘What else did she tell you? That I’m at death’s door?’ He grimaced. ‘I shouldn’t worry. Apparently I brought this on myself.’

  ‘Oh, Jack, don’t joke about it.’

  ‘I’m not joking. But you have to admit it is ironic.’ He shrugged. ‘I dare say you think I deserve it.’

  Her eyes rounded, and he could have sworn he saw tears forming in them. Suddenly he regretted what he’d said. ‘Anyway, never mind that—how are you feeling now?’ he asked, gazing at her intently. ‘You’ve had a terrifying experience. Do you know how it happened?’

  ‘Oh, I—must we talk about that?’ Rachel tucked her hands beneath her arms, wishing she knew what to say. ‘Um—it’s you I came to see.’ She hesitated. ‘Are you feeling better?’

  ‘Hey, I’m okay.’ Jack spoke dismissively. ‘I don’t know what that old lady’s told you, but the reports of my illness have been greatly exaggerated.’

  ‘Jack—’

  ‘No, I mean it. Like I said before I went away—I needed some time away from studying financial statements and poring over blueprints—’

  ‘But it wasn’t just tiredness, was it?’ Rachel broke in. ‘Mrs Grady says you have a problem with your heart.’

  ‘Mrs Grady exaggerates.’ Jack sucked in a much-needed gulp of air. ‘And if you’ve come here to offer your sympathy, well—thanks, but it’s not necessary.’

  ‘Jack—’

  ‘Look, I’ll get over this, right? I’m not dying, or anything dramatic like that. For some reason—mostly stress, I suspect—I’ve developed an irregular heartbeat. Or rather I had. Since I’ve been following medical advice and taking things easy I’ve been feeling much better.’

  Rachel gazed at him. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes, I’m sure.’ Jack felt his nails digging into his palms and tried to relax. ‘Sorry to disappoint you, babe, but if you’ve decided you want rid of me you’re going to have to divorce me.’

  Rachel gasped. ‘I don’t want rid of you.’

  ‘No?’ Jack arched a sardonic brow. ‘So why are you staying at Lucy’s?’

  ‘Oh…’ Once again, Rachel prevaricated. ‘It’s a long story.’ Then, because this was so much more important than her problems, she hurried on, ‘Have you any idea how I felt when Mrs Grady told me you’d collapsed?’

  Jack groaned. ‘It wasn’t that serious.’

  ‘It sounded serious to me. They kept you in the hospital for almost a week.’

  ‘They were doing tests,’ said Jack wearily. ‘That’s what doctors do. And I guess I’m an unusual subject.’

  ‘So what happens now?’

  Jack’s mouth twisted. ‘Yeah, that’s the million-dollar question.’

  Rachel frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, face it, Rachel. I’m not the powerhouse you thought you married, am I? Maybe you ought to think twice about that divorce?’

  Rachel caught her breath. ‘That’s ridiculous, and you know it. According to Mrs Grady there’s every chance that you’ll make a full recovery.’ She gave him an impassioned look. ‘You know, she warned me that you were feeling sorry for yourself, but I didn’t realise how right she was.’

  Her words sounded harsh, even to her own ears, but she had to shake him out of his apathy somehow. Did he really think she’d married him for any other reason than that she’d been madly in love with him? Dear God, she didn’t care what he did so long as he was well and happy.

  She knew she’d said too much when he rocked back on his heels and said drily, ‘Thanks, Rachel. I knew I could rely on you to tell it like it is. What you see is what you get, right?’

  ‘Stop it!’

  She was alarmed now, but he wasn’t listening to her. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘You’re right. I am feeling sorry for myself. Bloody sorry, as it goes.’ He shook his head. ‘You know, I thought I was pretty well invincible. I c
ould be hurt, yeah, but physically I was strong. Then something like this comes along and you realise you’ve been kidding yourself. You’re nothing special. Just human. That’s all.’

  Rachel sighed. ‘We’re all human, Jack.’

  ‘Yeah, right.’

  ‘Surely you realise you were doing too much?’ She spread her hands. ‘Lately, you were spending more and more time at the office, working every hour God sent. No wonder I thought you were having an affair. You used not to stay away all day and all night as well.’

  Jack shrugged. ‘I know.’

  ‘But I’m not blaming you,’ she hastened on, needing to get it said before she lost the courage to do so. ‘I know I’ve been blind and selfish, thinking I was the only one who suffered when our babies died.’ She gazed at him despairingly. ‘I’ve thought about it a lot since—well, since the accident. It should have brought us closer together, but instead I let it drive us apart.’

  ‘That’s all water under the bridge now.’

  ‘But it’s important—don’t you see?’ Rachel insisted vehemently. ‘If we—if I hadn’t driven you away, Karen would never have been able to hurt us.’

  ‘Right. Karen.’ Jack was harsh. ‘I wondered when we’d get around to her.’

  Rachel bit her lip. ‘She came here, you know. While you were in Ireland.’ She shivered. ‘She told me she’d been staying with your parents.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Jack made a weary sound. ‘Mrs Grady told me.’

  ‘But she hadn’t?’

  ‘Will you believe me if I say no?’

  Rachel nodded.

  ‘Okay. She was lying.’ He took a steadying breath. ‘She did turn up there. The same morning you did, as it happens.’ A wry smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. ‘My mother sent her packing.’

  ‘So—so while we were—’

  ‘Somewhere else?’

  ‘—making love,’ amended Rachel huskily. ‘While we were at the pool, she was at your parents’ cottage?’

  ‘When you arrived, yeah,’ agreed Jack flatly. ‘I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want anything to spoil the day. And as it turned out it wasn’t necessary. My mother had called a taxi for her and given her the fare back to Dublin.’