Leveled

by Cathryn Fox

  “Let’s go, Scout,” I say and turn back around. My feet sink into the sand, my shoulders feeling heavier than moments ago as we make our way back to Kylee’s place, a sick knot in my stomach as old, painful memories come racing back.

  I unhook her, give her water, and lock up on my way out. But as I put the key into my pocket, the hairs on my arm prickle. The Jackinoff brothers are assholes, yes. But surely they wouldn’t have broken into Sean’s place looking for dirt that will put one of us away or drive us out of town—yeah, the law is always on the side of the rich vacationers. I shake my head. Kylee must have left the lights on. Otherwise there’s going to be hell to pay.

  My tires spin as I peel out of the driveway and head into town. I drive down Main Street, and before I pass through the hub, Indigo Blue, a store across from Benny’s Groceries, catches my eye. As an idea forms, one that could either totally piss Kylee off or make her the happiest girl in the world, I pull the truck over, park it, and make my way inside the boutique. Overstepping boundaries? Yeah, probably.

  Twenty minutes later, I’m back in my truck and on my way out of town again. The old homestead rises up in the distance as I turn down the lane. I glance around, take in all the trucks and bikes, but Kylee’s car is nowhere to be found. Where the hell did she go?

  I kill the ignition and take the steps two at a time. I enter the house to find my brothers and cousins all fussing around Summer and the baby, while Sean beams with pride.

  “He looks like you, Sean,” I say as I glance at the little boy in Summer’s arm.

  Tyler shakes his head. “Poor kid.”

  I grin at my baby brother. “It could have been worse. He could have looked like you.”

  Ty rubs his chin and lifts it a little higher. “Why is everyone so jealous of this pretty face?”

  I scoff. “Pretty. I’ve seen prettier faces on the ass end of a donkey.”

  Tyler jumps to his feet, and within seconds he has me in a rear naked chokehold and is cutting off my air supply. “Tap out, big brother,” he says.

  “Like hell.” I twist and turn, but would rather be rendered unconscious than give in to Tyler.

  We stumble around the kitchen, and when a knock sounds on the door, Tyler turns toward it, with me still stuck in a hold. The second I see Kylee standing on the stoop, her expression nervous, I jab Tyler in the ribs. Fucker better let me go, or he’s going to be sorry.

  “Cut it out you two. Gram is trying to sleep. She stayed at the hospital with us last night,” Summer says.

  Ty lets me go, and I instantly throw my arm around his neck and give him a noogie. I rub my knuckles against his skull and mess up his hair. “You bastard,” he says, and Sean gives me a shove. I let my baby brother go, and he punches me in the arm, a loving brotherly punch, but it hurts like a bitch. The guy can fucking hit. I wouldn’t want to come up against him in a cage, that’s for fucking sure.

  I turn to Kylee whose eyes are as big as softballs, but fucking Jared cuts in front of me to let her in. I’m ready to tell him to back the fuck off, but since Kylee and I are “secretly” fucking, I don’t. Can’t imagine what Sean would say if he knew what I was up to. He saw firsthand what I went through after getting involved with the wrong girl last time and would no doubt kick my ass.

  But is Kylee the wrong girl?

  Kylee steps in and her gaze moves over mine before turning to Summer. She makes a squealing sound when she sees little Devon, and her knuckles brush mine as she passes me. I don’t know if the touch was on purpose or not but I feel it all the way to my dick.

  I plunk down into one of the empty chairs and glance around the room. Ty goes to the fridge for a drink as cousin Jace, a former chef in New York, checks on the pot roast cooking in the oven. With Gram resting, I guess he’s cooking Sunday dinner. He’s the only one she’ll let in the kitchen with her, but come tomorrow she’ll likely shove him out and be back at her beloved stove. The twins, Jared and Jacob, grab seats to my left, and my other cousins Ryan and Carter are in the family room, watching a baseball game on TV. I want to ask the guys if they know if any of the Jackinoff brothers are back in town but won’t do it while Kylee is here.

  My attention zeroes in on Kylee when she sits next to Summer and takes Devon into her arms. Her eyes are watery as she looks at the baby with longing. For a girl who says kids aren’t in her future, she’s gazing at Devon like a woman in love.

  “He’s precious,” she says.

  “See what he’s wearing.” Summer opens the blanket, and Kylee sniffs when she sees he’s wearing the cute baby outfit she made for him. “It fits him great. You really should be selling your designs.”

  Kylee nods, but doesn’t say anything else. It’s like she’s pretty much resigned herself to the fact that her clothes aren’t saleable, which is total bullshit. Her father really did a fucking number on her. When little Devon starts fussing, she looks a bit panicky and glances at Summer for help.

  Summer laughs and takes him from her. “The boy can eat. Every two hours.”

  Kylee shakes her head. “You must be exhausted.”

  “I am.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “You helped with Scout last night, and I really appreciate it.”

  “Actually she’s at my place sleeping right now.”

  Something sparks in Summer’s eyes. “Oh?”

  “I brought her with me while I worked on the deck,” I pipe in. “I didn’t want to leave her at your place alone.” Not a lie.

  “You don’t mind?” Summer asks Kylee.

  She shakes her head. “I love dogs. I always wanted one as a kid but . . .” She goes stiff like she’s said too much. “A dog just didn’t fit into our family, is all.”

  “Well, while you’re in Blue Bay, consider my dog your dog.”

  Kylee gives Summer a warm smile, and my heart pinches for the little girl who was denied a dog. We had Bear growing up. A great big Labrador retriever. He was the best dog in the world and a kid who doesn’t know the love of a dog, understand the bond, is a kid who missed out on a lot.

  Summer puts her hand over Kylee’s. “If you don’t have any plans, why don’t you stay for supper?”

  “I . . . sure. I can help cook. I feel like I need to be doing something useful.”

  “You don’t have to, but if you want to help Jace, I’m sure he’d appreciate it.”

  Jace slides Kylee a look, his dimples prominent as he grins at her. “I’d never say no to a pretty woman in the kitchen with me.”

  A blush crawls up Kylee’s neck and she steals a glance my way. I look her over and my gaze moves to Summer as she winks at me and says, “The rest of the guys are pretty useless in the kitchen.”

  “Hey, I take offense to that,” I say, while the other guys nod in complete agreement with her.

  “Come on, Jamie. You’re useless in the kitchen. You wouldn’t know a spatula from a can opener.”

  I grin at her. “There are things I can do in the kitchen with a spatula,” I say and she rolls her eyes at me.

  “Things I don’t want to hear about,” she shoots back and laughs as she stands. “I think I’ll feed this little one and take a nap before dinner.”

  “I’ll join you,” Sean says, and puts his arm around his wife to lead her upstairs. I smile as I watch them go, an invisible band squeezing my heart when I see how happy my brother is, the tender way he’s taking care of his family.

  His family.

  I suddenly long for my own, and that scares the shit out of me, because I’ll never have what Sean and Summer have. Those two go way back and belong together. It was years in the making but both of them are exactly where they need to be.

  “Let’s go for a ride,” Jacob says to his twin, Jared. “I just changed the jetting on my bike and want to give it a good run.”

  As the twins leave to give their dirt bikes a run, Kylee stands. “What can I help you with, Jace?” she asks. She moves in next to my cousin and stands close, too cl
ose. As they talk about the meal, the sudden vision of Kylee in the arms of another fills me with anger and jealousy, and I fist my hands, wanting to punch something or someone.

  “Come on bro, let’s go watch the game,” Ty says and puts his hand on my shoulder.

  “Yeah, okay.” Kylee’s eyes flash my way as I turn, leaving her alone with my cousin, a guy who has no idea Kylee’s my girl. Yeah, she’s my fucking girl. At least for the summer, anyway.

  I plunk down onto the sofa, and from where I’m sitting I can see my girl in the kitchen. I watch her for a few moments, then my thoughts race back to the Jackinoff brothers.

  “Hey,” I say to the guys. “There’s action at the Jackinoff cottage. You guys know anything about that?”

  “No fucking way,” Ryan says, and turns my way, his gaze murderous.

  “Have you heard anything?” I ask. I lean forward and brace my elbows on my knee. I don’t want Kylee to overhear our conversation. I figure the rumors will reach her ears soon enough. The thing is, the longer I keep the truth from her, the harder it is. It’s not that I’m lying to her. Then again, is omission the same as lying? What will happen when she finds out? Will she believe me, believe in me, or run the other fucking way? The more I get to know her the less I want her to run the other way, which boils down to this—I’m nervous as fuck, praying she never finds out.

  Carter shakes his head. “No, nothing. Want me to drive by, pay them a visit?”

  Tyler cracks his knuckles, his face that of a stone-cold fighter. “Yeah, I’ll go with you.”

  “No, let’s wait and see. Could be nothing.”

  There’s a moment of silence as all three guys stare at me, then they turn back to the game. From the kitchen a cell phone rings, and Kylee rushes to her purse. She pulls out her phone and stares at it a second, her nose crinkled. Is she not going to answer it? She slides her finger across the screen and her words are hushed as she darts outside for privacy. For a second I wonder who she’s talking to. Someone she’d met up with earlier today? Possessiveness races through me and I try to push it back, rein it in, but it’s useless. The idea of her with another man sits like a fireball in my gut.

  When Jace darts to the bathroom, I push from my chair and, under the guise of getting a drink, step into the kitchen. I can hear Kylee talking outside. I want to give her privacy, I really do, but the anxiety in her voice worries me. I step up to the open window and hear her shaky words.

  “Not, it’s not that. I’ve just been busy.”

  I listen to the one-sided conversation and instantly get the sense that it’s her father.

  “I’m on vacation. What does it matter what I’m doing with my time?” A pause and then. “I have been texting him back.”

  Texting who back?

  White-hot jealousy prowls through my blood.

  “Okay, yes.” I look out the window and catch the way she’s pinching the bridge of her nose. “Yes, I understand that is the nicest office,” she says. “Best view of the city, I know.” A few more words are exchanged and she comes back into the kitchen, the screen door banging behind her.

  She goes still, her eyes wide when she sees me standing at the sink. “Hey,” she says.

  “I wasn’t trying to listen,” I fib. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “I’m okay.”

  I pitch my voice low, and I want to ask who it was she texted back but is it any of my business? Not really. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” she says, her voice light, but the act is wasted on me. I can see beneath it. Something’s bothering her.

  “Sounds like your father is upset.”

  She nods. “I haven’t been checking in.”

  “He definitely keeps close tabs on you.”

  She frowns. “I know. I appreciate that he cares, you know? But sometimes it’s too much, and I’m tired of him pressuring me . . .” Her voice falls off.

  “Pressuring you? How?”

  She throws her hands up in the air. “Work, my personal life . . . everything.”

  I dip my head and lower my voice even more. “Does your father know about me?”

  “Oh, God no!” she says quickly. “I would never tell him—” Her words end abruptly when I go completely stiff, and she shakes her head and tries to backtrack, but it’s too late. I get it. “I mean—”

  “It’s fine, Kylee,” I say and try not to feel so gutted. “I know I’m not the kind of guy a girl brings home to Daddy.”

  “Jamie, I didn’t mean that.”

  “Have you decided to help?” Jace asks when he comes back into the room.

  “You want the food edible?” I say, working to keep a lightness in my tone, even though there’s a shit storm going on inside me.

  He shoos me away, like Gram always does. “Then get out.”

  I go back to the family room, plunk down into my chair, and watch the game for the next few hours, a restless energy building inside me. I’m not used to sitting idle for so long. As Kylee pops into the room every once in a while to check on the score, I try not to feel pissed off. I mean come on. Boundaries were set when we started this thing. Did I really think she’d want to bring me home to Daddy? Fuck no. I don’t want that anyway.

  Yeah, keep telling yourself that, dude.

  Summer and Sean eventually wake from their nap and join us, but baby Devon remains sleeping in his crib upstairs. When Gram finally gets up and makes her way downstairs, everyone is called to the table.

  Once again we’re all seated around the room, and Kylee is next to Jared. How the little prick manages that every time is beyond me. But I don’t want to start showing too much interest and give everyone the wrong idea—like I’m batshit crazy about her or something.

  Kylee seems much more comfortable around the table this time, and when Tyler starts razzing Jared about something she turns to Gram.

  “How did you do it with all boys?”

  She laughs. “They were a handful, that’s for sure. But they’re all sweet boys.”

  Kylee looks at me and grins, and I wonder if her mind is traveling the same road as mine—when I showed her just how not sweet I really was.

  “I bet you have a lot of stories,” Kylee says, then slides her fork into her mouth. I try not to watch the way her lips part, try not to think about how my dick felt in her mouth. But I’d have more luck trying to levitate the house with my mind. I am so fucked.

  “Oh, I have lots of stories.”

  Groans come from around the table, and Summer laughs. “Let’s just say every guy at this table could be the poster boy for authority issues. They listened to Gram though.”

  “Oh?” she says.

  Gram eyes each boy. “If they didn’t I’d gristle them.”

  “Gristle?”

  “It’s just a term Gram uses, but it’s effective,” Summer explains. “Just the thought of getting gristled sent these big tough guys into hysterics.”

  “No one wanted to get gristled,” Sean says. He shakes. “Gram has the boniest knuckles.”

  Since I’m the closest to her, Gram reaches out to me, and I flinch. “Hey, I’m just sitting here minding my own business.”

  She grabs my side and pinches, then rubs her knuckles against my rib cage. I go weak in the knees, become boneless as she “gristles” me. We all laugh and Kylee’s voice stands out the most to me. I love the sound, maybe even more than the noises she makes when she’s coming for me.

  “So you can see why no one wanted to get gristled, right?” Summer says.

  “I’ll have to remember that move when I have kids,” Kylee says, and as soon as the words leave her mouth, her smile falls and her gaze darts to mine. Our eyes meet, collide, hold for a moment too long.

  “So you’re thinking about having kids now, are you?” Gram says, clearly not letting that one go.

  “No, I just meant . . . I, ah . . .”

  “Kylee has a career to think about right now, Gram. Her statement was hypothetical,” I say
, coming to her rescue, and she gives me a grateful smile. Conversation gets turned to baby Devon and which one of us guys will be the godfather. Everyone but me is fighting for the right. I have no idea about kids and wouldn’t want to fuck the kid up. Summer will have to pick outside the family for the godmother, since she’s the only girl in the family—so far. And it doesn’t look like any of us are about to change that any time soon. I know I’m not.

  When the meal is done, I give Gram a kiss and excuse myself. I need to get to the shop and get some more work done. I’ve been so busy with Kylee, if I don’t get to the shop, I’ll never get it open in time.

  “I’ll stop by and get Scout on my way home,” I say to Kylee.

  “Okay, see you at home,” she says.

  My gut twists at the word home. Is that what I want? To make a home with sweet Kylee Jensen? Fuck, I’ve been down this road, have the scars to prove it.

  I say my goodbyes to everyone and make my way outside. The cooler night air is welcome against my heated skin. I jump into my truck and drive to my shop, my thoughts calming when I walk inside my sanctuary. I flick the lights on, glance around, then put drop cloths over the furniture. Tonight I think I’ll paint. I find it relaxing, and maybe it will help me clear my thoughts and get my head back on straight where Kylee is concerned. I jack the tunes and pour the paint over into the tray. I dip the roller in and start on the wall, but stop when I hear my door open.

  I turn, and the second I see sweet Kylee walking in, my heart jumps into my throat and pretty much does the fucking Macarena. Yeah, I guess I kinda do want it all with her—and that’s never going to happen.

  Chapter Twelve: Kylee

  “Hi,” I say, my stomach still twisted up in knots from our earlier conversation. I hated the look on Jamie’s face, the tension in his posture, when I jumped all over his question about my father. I sure let him know, in no uncertain terms, that I’d never tell my father about us. I’d hurt him with that thoughtless outburst, and really, it was more what I didn’t say than what I did that hurt him the most—my father would never accept a man like him into our family. I spent my whole life pleasing my father, following his orders, but when it comes right down to it, I don’t want to be like him and refuse to judge someone based on their lot in life. From the scars on Jamie’s body to the demons in his eyes, I know he’s been cut deeply. But underneath it all, he’s a good man. The best man I know.