Marriage Rebranded
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17. Philippians 2:12.
18. Proverbs 27:19.
19. Shalom Arush, The Garden of Peace: A Marital Guide for Men (Austin, TX: Diamond Press, 2008), 45.
20. Kathleen and Thomas Hart, The First Two Years of Marriage: Foundations for a Life Together (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1983), 50.
21. Arush, The Garden of Peace, 60.
22. Ibid., 17.
23. Marina Benjamen, “Marriage Myth: Spouses Can’t Change,” accessed on February 1, 2014, http://psychcentral.com/lib/marriage-myth-spouses-cant-change/00021.
24. Jared Black writes at JaredEthanBlack.com.
CHAPTER THREE: REAL ROMANCE
1. Tara Blanv, “The Myth of the Perfect Marriage,” accessed February 1, 2014, http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-myth-of-the-perfect-marriage/00010528.
2. Inspired by John Witte Jr., From Sacrament to Contract: Marriage, Religion, and Law in the Western Tradition (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 1997), 209, as quoted in Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage (New York: Dutton, 2011), 50.
3. Ibid.
4. The Declaration of Independence: http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/declaration_transcript.html.
5. Daniel Lapin, Thou Shall Prosper: Ten Commandments for Making Money (Hoboken: Wiley, 2009), 246.
6. Ephesians 5:25 MSG.
7. Ann Voskamp, “The Real Truth about ‘Boring’ Men—and the Women who Live with Them: Redefining Boring,” A Holy Experience, November 15, 2013, http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/11/the-real-truth-about-boring-men-and-the-women-who-live-with-them-redefining-boring/.
8. Otto Piper, The Biblical View of Sex and Marriage (New York: Scribner, 1960), 134.
9. Acts 20:35.
10. See Galatians 6:7–8; Luke 6:38; Job 4:8; Hosea 10:12–13.
11. Shalom Arush, The Garden of Peace: A Marital Guide for Men (Austin, TX: Diamond Press, 2008), 45.
12. Vilfredo Pareto, Cours d’Économie Politique Professé a l’Université de Lausanne, vol. I, 1896; vol. II, 1897, as referenced in Tim Ferris, The 4 Hour Work Week (New York: Harmony, 2009), 244.
13. Read the full interview at tylerwardis.com/Gary-Chapman-Interview
14. Read the full interview at tylerwardis.com/Gary-Thomas-Interview
CHAPTER FOUR: ONE + ONE = ONE
1. Nicole Tomlinson, “The Chemistry of Love and Attraction,” CBC News, February 14, 2008, http://www.cbc.ca/news2/background/science/chemistry-of-love.html.
2. Helen Fisher, Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love (New York: Holt Paperbacks, 2004), as referenced in http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/10/09/end.relationship/
3. Song of Solomon 1:2–4 MSG.
4. John Leggett and Suzanne Malm, The Eighteen Stages of Love: Its Natural History, Fragrance, Celebration and Chase, 139, as accessed at http://www.cbc.ca/news2/background/science/chemistry-of-love.html.
5. “Marriage and Divorce Statistics,” Avvo, 2009, http://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ugc/marriage-divorce-statistics.
6. Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially (New York: Broadway Books, 2001).
7. Full Interview with Gary Thomas can be read here: tylerwardis.com/gary-thomas-interview.
8. Genesis 2:24 KJV.
9. Here is just a small sample of other material available on this topic: The Seven Levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelley; The Couple’s Journey by Susan Campbell; Love after Marriage by Barry and Lori Byrne; The 7 Stages of Marriage by Rita M. DeMaria and Sari Harrar; Building a Reality-Based Relationship by Liberty Kovacs. Neither the author nor the publisher is endorsing everything in all of these resources. The discerning reader should proceed accordingly. Mary Anne McPherson Oliver, Conjugal Spirituality (Franklin, WI: Sheed & Ward, 1994), 56.
10. Charles Williams, Descent into Hell (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1949), 130, as quoted in Mary Anne McPherson Oliver, Conjugal Spirituality (Franklin, WI: Sheed & Ward, 1994).
11. Quoted in Oliver, Conjugal Spirituality, 35. As referenced in: Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2008).
12. Ibid., 38.
13. A. Pascual-Leone, A. Amedi, F. Fregni, and L.B. Merabet, “The Plastic Human Brain Cortex,” Annual Review of Neuroscience, (2005): 28, 377–401.
14. Ibid., 35.
15. Ibid., 39.
16. Oliver, Congugal Spirituality.
17. Entire interview with Ray Ortlund can be read here: tylerwardis.com/ray-ortlund-interview.
18. Oliver, Conjugal Spirituality, 41.
19. Ibid.
20. Read the full interview with Jared Black here: tylerwardis.com/jared-black-interview.
21. Oliver, Conjugal Spirituality, 35.
22. Ibid.
23. http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&field-author=David%20Augsburger&page=1&rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3ADavid%20Augsburger.
24. Gary Smalley, Making Love Last Forever (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1997), 144.
25. As referenced in Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2008), 376.
26. Read all of the interview here: tylerwardis.com/byrnes-interview and learn more about Love After Marriage at http://www.loveaftermarriage.org/cms/.
27. See Lori and Barry Byrne, Love After Marriage (Ventura, CA: Regal, 2012), 98–100.
28. Read all of the interview with Paul here: tylerwardis.com/paul-young-interview.
29. Lori and Barry Byrne, Love After Marriage, 101.
30. Ibid., 106.
31. Read the full interview with Jonathan Jackson at tylerwardis.com/jonathan-jackson-interview.
32. Nicole Tomlinson, “The Chemistry of Love and Attraction,” CBC News, http://www.cbc.ca/news2/background/science/chemistry-of-love.html.
33. Ibid.
34. Paul J. Zak, “The Moral Molecule,” Psychology Today, November 22, 2009, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-moral-molecule/200911/the-science-generosity.
35. Tomlinson, “The Chemistry of Love and Attraction.”
36. Ibid.
37. Zak, “The Moral Molecule.”
CHAPTER FIVE: YOU, ME, AND EVERYONE WE KNOW
1. Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially (New York: Broadway Books, 2001).
2. Ephesians 5:25–27.
3. Caryl E. Rusbult, Eli J. Finkel, and Madoka Kumashiro, “The Michelangelo Phenomenon,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 18 (2009): 305.
4. More about John Medina: http://www.johnmedina.com/.
5. Petersen Wittmer, “The Effects of Stress and Violence on Brain Development,” Education.com, July 20, 2010, http://www.education.com/reference/article/effects-stress-violence-brain-development/.
6. Barbara DaFoe Whitehead, “Healthy Marriage: What It Is and Why Should We Promote It?” presented at the Senate Hearing, April 28, 2004, http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/CHRG-108shrg93523/html/CHRG-108shrg93523.htm.
7. David M. Cutler, et al., “Explaining the Rise in Youth Suicide,” Working Paper 7713 (Cambridge, MA: National Bureau of Economic Research, May, 2000).
8. DaFoe Whitehead, “Healthy Marriage: What It Is and Why Should We Promote It?”
9. Robert Lerman, “The Impact of the Changing U.S. Family Structure on Poverty and Income Inequality,” Economica 63 (1996): S119–S139.
10. Paul R. Amato, “The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation,” The Future of Children 15 No. 2 (2005), 89. Also referenced here: http://futureofchildren.org/futureofchildren/publications/docs/15_02_05.pdf.
11. Robert Bucknam and Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise (Sisters, OR: Parent-Wise Solutions, 2001), 21.
12. Ibid., 21.
13. Read full interview here: tylerwardis.com/john-medina-interview.
14. Linda J. Waite, “Does Marriage Matter?” Demography 32 No. 4, (1995): 28.
15. DaFoe Whitehead, “Healthy Mar
riage: What It Is and Why Should We Promote It?”
16. Ibid.
17. Ibid.
18. Bradford Wilcox, “Strong Marriages and Economies,” New York Times, January 19, 2012, http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2011/10/16/fewer-babies-for-better-or-worse/strong-marriages-strong-economies.
19. Waite and Gallagher, The Case for Marriage, 29.
20. Ibid.
21. Genesis 1:28.
22. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison (New York: Touchstone, 1997).
BONUS CHAPTER: CAVE TALK
1. Napolean Hill, Think & Grow Rich (Winston-Salem: Fortune Publishing Group, 2013), 20–21.
2. Proverbs 31:10.
3. Shalom Arush, The Garden of Peace: A Marital Guide for Men (Austin, TX: Diamond Press, 2008), 64.
4. Ibid.
5. Ibid., 70.
6. Oxford Dictionary, http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/success.
7. Brad Pitt Quotes, http://voices.yahoo.com/18-greatest-quotes-brad-pitt-273327.html.
8. Todd Bishop, “Gates to Students: Don’t Try to Be a Billionaire, It’s Overrated,” Geekwire, October 27, 2011, http://www.geekwire.com/2011/gates-tells-uw-students-billionaire-overrated/.
9. “Knightley Criticises Fame-Seekers,” BBC NEWS, August 21, 2007, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6956348.stm.
10. Luke 12:15.
11. Special thanks to Jared Black for his insight on this.
12. Genesis 2:23.
13. Ephesians 5:25–27, paraphrased.
14. John 10:10.
15. Matthew 5:14.
16. Ephesians 5:25–27.
17. Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich (Pendell, PA: Quincentenntial Publishing Company, 2012).
18. “Pornography Statistics: Annual Report 2013,” http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/.
19. Mary Anne McPherson Oliver, Conjugal Spirituality (Franklin, WI: Sheed & Ward, 1994), 64.
20. Barbara Davies, “A Few Clicks of the Mouse, and Internet Porn Destroys Yet Another Middle-Class Marriage,” Daily Mail, February 11, 2009, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1141485/A-clicks-mouse-internet-porn-destroys-middle-class-marriage-.html.
21. Nicole Tomlinson, “The Chemistry of Love and Attraction,” CBC News, http://www.cbc.ca/news2/background/science/chemistry-of-love.html.
22. William M. Struthers, Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Books, 2009), 64–65.
23. Pamela Paul, Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families (New York: Times Books, 2010), 90–91.
24. “Having More Sex Than Their Peers Makes People Happy: Study,” New York Daily News, April 17, 2013, http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/sex-peers-happy-article-1.1319041.
25. Ibid.
26. Jennings Bryant and Dolf Zillmann, eds., Pornography: Research Advances and Policy Considerations (New York: Routledge, 1988).
27. Mary Eberstadt and Mary Anne Layden, The Social Costs of Pornography: A Statement of Findings and Recommendations (Princeton: The Witherspoon Institute, 2010).
28. Bryant and Zillmann, Pornography: Research Advances and Policy Considerations.
29. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-180374/Does-marriage--better-sex.html.
30. Struthers, Wired for Intimacy, 64–65.
31. “Can Porn Use Affect Memory and Concentration?” http://yourbrainonporn.com/can-porn-use-affect-memory-and-concentration.
32. “People Who Have Sex at Least Four Times a Week Make More Money,” Huffington Post, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/14/more-sex-higher-wages_n_3755271.html.
33. Arush, The Garden of Peace, 43.
34. Gail Dines, Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality (Boston: Beacon Press, 2010), xxiv.
35. “What Porn Really Is,” http://www.fightthenewdrug.org/Science/Articles/Synthetic-Sexuality-What-Porn-Really-Is/.
36. “Pornography Statistics: Annual Report 2013,” http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/.
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