Chapter 12
The silence echoed about the flat after Justin had left and the only sound Alex could hear was the beat of her own heart. She fixed her gaze on the floor as she felt Paul’s eyes on her flushed face. The bedroom door opened and Jeff and Danny came slowly back into the room.
‘Gee, Alex, we’re sorry,’ said Jeff. ‘We didn’t mean to break anything up.’
Alex made an irritated gesture with her hands. ‘There wasn’t anything to break up,’ she said, guiltily knowing she had just told a huge lie. ‘I think I’ll go to bed.’
‘Wait, Alex!’ Paul took hold of her arm. ‘What was he talking about?’
‘What do you mean?’ Alex couldn’t meet his eyes, knowing full well what he was asking.
‘Come on, Alex,’ Paul’s voice rose sharply. ‘Don’t play dumb. What did de Wilde mean by putting us in the picture?’
‘I… I really don’t know.’
‘I think you do.’ Paul looked down at her, his face cold. ‘And I want to know what it’s all about. I always thought there was something fishy about him, all smooth talking and looking down his arrogant nose.’ When Alex didn’t answer he shook her arm. ‘Come clean, Alex. Don’t you think I have a right to know?’ he cried, angrily raising his voice.
‘Hey! Cool it, mate!’ Danny stepped forward and firmly took Paul’s hand off Alex’s arm. ‘It’s Alex’s business as far as I can see. She doesn’t have to tell us anything she doesn’t want us to know.’
‘That’s right, Paul,’ agreed Jeff.
‘But he’s got some hold over her,’ Paul growled.
Danny and Jeff looked at Alex, waiting for her to deny Paul’s statement.
She shook her head slowly and sank into the nearest chair, rubbing a hand across her eyes. ‘I suppose I should tell you,’ she said softly.
‘I knew it!’ Paul balled one hand into a fist and struck it into his open hand. ‘I knew it! I didn’t trust him from the first,’ he exaggerated. ‘I could tell by the way he looked at you, Alex. He was all but breathing heavily.’
‘Paul!’ Alex’s face paled.
‘Yes, give her a go,’ Jeff frowned at his friend as he and Danny sat opposite Alex on the sofa.
‘We actually met seven years ago.’ Alex’s fingers laced themselves nervously in her lap.
‘Seven years? You’ve known him that long?’ Paul asked incredulously, striding back to stand glaring down at her. ‘But when he turned up in Brisbane a few weeks ago you never let on you’d met him before.’
‘I know. I… It was a shock to see him.’
‘Seven years ago! But you must have been just a kid!’ Paul’s eyes accused her.
‘I was seventeen.’ Alex felt her throat go dry. ‘We met and we…’ she swallowed. ‘We fell in love and we, well, we were married.’
‘Married!’ three voices chorused.
Paul’s face paled and then flushed red as the other two glanced from one to the other.
‘You’re having us on, aren’t you, Alex?’ Paul asked at last, subsiding into a chair. ‘You couldn’t be married to him. He’s too old for you. He’s bloody ancient!’
‘You’ve said that before, Paul,’ Alex said quietly, ‘and he’s not old at all.’ She shook her head, dismissing the subject. ‘Not that it matters. We’ve been separated for six years.’
This time the three young men passed no comment and Alex looked away from them. ‘Until he approached us at Christie’s in town I hadn’t heard from him in six years. We hadn’t spoken to each other in all that time.’
They sat in heavy silence, lost in their own thoughts.
‘Are you getting a divorce?’ Paul asked at last, and when Alex didn’t answer immediately he stood up and walked around the room in angry strides.
‘I’d like to talk to Alex alone.’ He looked at Jeff and Danny. ‘Do you guys mind?’
‘No, I guess not.’ Danny stood up. ‘But stay cool, man. We’ll go to bed.’ He turned to Alex but made no comment on what she had told them. ‘Well, goodnight.’
”Night,’ mouthed Jeff, and they left the room.
As the door closed behind them Paul almost sprang across the room and leant angrily over Alex, his hands on either side of her clutching the arms of her chair. ‘How could you do this to me, Alex?’ he bit out, keeping his voice low. ‘Why did you let me go on thinking there could be something between us? You could have been honest enough to tell me.’
‘Paul, that’s not fair and you know it. I never lied to you about my feelings for you.’ Alex met his gaze and at the hurt in their depths she felt her own anger rise as a pang of undeserved guilt fanned the flame. ‘Now, let me stand up. I’m tired and I’m going to bed.’
‘Not before we talk.’
‘Your talk has all the indicators of being an inquisition, and I won’t have it, Paul.’ Alex stood up, forcing him to move back, despising him all of a sudden because she knew Justin wouldn’t have given in so easily. And then the guilt returned. Paul could never match up to Justin.
‘You could have told me,’ he said with less vehemence.
‘Perhaps, but I didn’t want to discuss it with anyone.’ Alex went to walk to her room, but Paul put his hand out to stop her, his hold tentative.
‘Why’s he back, Alex?’ he asked. ‘I ,wouldn’t have said you’d welcomed him with open arms.’
Alex sighed. ‘I never wanted to see him again,’ she said, and as quickly remembered how welcome she had made him the first night he drove her home.
‘Does he want you back?’
She nodded.
‘Yes,’ he said softly. ‘Why wouldn’t he?’
‘I’m… I’m going to bed, Paul.’ She walked to her room and opened the door.
‘Alex?’
She paused and turned back to him.
‘What are you going to do?’
Alex shook her head, walked into her room and closed the door behind her.
***
It was almost one am when Justin walked quietly into Ben’s unit. A light still burned in the living-room and as he stepped forward his mother looked up from the magazine that rested on her knee.
‘Mother? Isn’t it rather late for you to be sitting up reading? Shouldn’t you be in bed?’
His mother smiled wryly. ‘That’s supposed to be a mother’s line to her son, not vice versa!’
Justin smiled faintly. ‘Perhaps you’re right. Well, don’t stay up too late.’ He went to walk past her to his room.
‘Actually, I was hoping to talk to you,’ his mother said quickly, and he paused, ‘about Alex.’
He felt his muscles tense. ‘What’s there to talk about?’
‘I suspect that your reconciliation was something of a shock to her tonight.’ She watched her son carefully.
‘What makes you think that?’ Justin sat on the arm of a lounge chair and folded his arms.
His mother shrugged. ‘Alex has grown into quite a self-possessed young woman,’ she changed her tack.
‘She has that,’ Justin remarked drily.
‘When you were first married, as you know, I worried about her youth. She seemed very little more than a blushing schoolgirl. And I don’t suppose I gave her very much chance to be anything else. I’ve always felt just a little guilty about that. I know I could have made things easier between us, but…’ She paused. ‘Well, no matter. That’s all over and done with now.’ She sighed. ‘Margot seemed so much more suited to you.’
‘Mother, I’ve never been in love with Margot,’ Justin broke in impatiently, ‘nor she with me. Margot’s married to her career.’ He felt a pang of guilt that these words might not be quite truthful, and frowned darkly. Margot would marry him, of that he was certain, but he was equally convinced that love had nothing to do with it.
‘I’ve since realised that.’
> His mother’s words caused him to look at her in surprise and she smiled a little self-derisively.
‘As I said before, the only thing I had against your marriage was Alex’s age.’ Grace de Wilde paused. ‘Of course, that doesn’t apply now, if it ever did,’ she added graciously. ‘Justin, I know how much you want this reconciliation with Alex, but if you’re not careful, as Ben would say, you’re going to blow it.’
If his mother had mouthed an obscenity Justin’s face couldn’t have mirrored more shock, and Grace de Wilde smiled.
‘My head isn’t completely buried in the sand.’ She sobered. ‘Alex won’t be forced, Justin. You can’t hope to pick up the strings as though nothing had happened.’
‘Don’t you think I know that, Mother?’ Justin stood up and ran a hand through his hair, frowning impatiently. ‘Look, just accept that Alex and I are back together.’
‘Oh, I accept it, Justin. It would make me very happy. But does Alex accept it?’ she asked quietly.
‘She accepts it,’ he added with an edge to his voice, and his mother sighed.
‘Tell me, has she mentioned the baby?’ she asked softly, seeing and feeling the flash of pain that crossed her son’s face.
Justin shrugged. ‘Not really,’ he answered carefully. ‘We haven’t discussed it.’
‘Then I think you should,’ she suggested gently. ‘You’ll have to bring it out into the open or it will always remain between you.’
‘Mother, I’m not sure I want to go through all this tonight. Look, let’s just leave it. Alex and I will sort it out between us.’
‘Well, I suppose you know best,’ she said, her tone irritating her son even further, and at the stormy sharpness in his eyes she stood up. ‘And I’m an interfering old busybody.’ She patted his arm as she passed him. ‘Goodnight, Justin.’
‘Goodnight, Mother. And don’t worry, we’ll work it out.’
Justin stood in the living-room without moving, a hundred thoughts spinning around in his mind, wishing he felt half as confident as he sounded.
The de Wilde family booked a table for dinner at Christie’s on Tuesday night and, as Alex had not heard from Justin, she would not have known they were coming if Chris Georgi hadn’t mentioned the fact in conversation the afternoon before. The table was booked for seven-thirty, for five, so Alex surmised that Margot Donald was accompanying them.
As she applied her make-up she tried to keep her thoughts from tying Justin and Margot together. Surely Justin would have divorced her years ago if he’d wanted to marry the other girl.
A tap on her door interrupted her musing and her eyebrows rose in surprise when Margot herself stuck her head around the door before stepping into the dressing room.
‘Alex, dear, I hope I’m not intruding. May I come in?’ Margot’s eyes moved with barely concealed disdain about Alex’s room.
Alex wondered what Margot would say if she refused her permission to stay and asked her to leave.
‘What a nice little room,’ Margot purred, abrading Alex’s nerves.
Alex smiled politely. ‘Thank you.’
‘You appear to be doing very well for yourself these days. You were always such a shy little mouse. But then independence does give a woman dignity and bags of confidence, don’t you think?’
‘Yes, I suppose it does,’ Alex replied cautiously.
‘So nice not to have to depend on a man for everything, isn’t it? Well, as one independent woman to another I’d like to have a little chat with you.’ Margot sat on the edge of the only other chair in the room.
‘Of course. What about, particularly?’ As if I didn’t know, thought Alex.
Margot laughed softly. ‘Don’t be obtuse, darling. Justin. Who else?’
‘What could there possibly be for you and me to discuss?’ Alex asked flatly.
The other girl made a sweeping gesture with one hand and smiled mechanically. ‘Quite a lot. As you know we—Justin and I, that is—have known each other for some considerable time. As students we were very,’ she paused, ‘close. But we both had careers to establish. Had I not gone overseas to study we would have married, but,’ she shrugged, ‘no matter. What does matter now is that we still have that, shall we say, rapport, between us.’
Alex grimaced wryly to herself. So Margot expected her to read between the lines, as in, Justin belongs to me. ‘I’m sure you have. Your careers run hand in hand,’ she said carefully.
‘I’m so glad you’re intelligent enough to realise that, dear. It makes what I have to say so much easier.’
Alex’s eyebrows rose again.
‘I can understand why you weren’t very pleased about Justin’s little white lie to his father.’
Alex was unable to disguise the surprise in her face. Would Justin dare to discuss her, their relationship, with Margot? Margot, of all people? Surely not. But then… A small flicker of doubt lurked on the fringes of her mind.
Margot laughed her brittle laugh. ‘Yes, of course I know about it. Justin told me his plan beforehand and I tried to dissuade him. But to no avail. Men can be so blind and so stubborn at times, can’t they? I told Justin the whole thing was a little hard on you, but he assures me that as soon as his father’s stronger he’ll tell him the truth, so it won’t be for too long.’
Alex fixed her eyes on the shiny surface of her dressing table, feeling all doubt fade away. Margot’s and Justin’s stories didn’t quite correlate, and somehow she knew that Justin wasn’t lying. She believed he had only told his father on the spur of the moment that they had been reconciled. That meant Margot was lying. Alex watched the other girl’s eyes, not catching the merest flicker, and she clenched her hands in her lap. ‘What exactly is the truth?’ she asked calmly.
‘Why, that you don’t want to stay married. I know Justin feels responsible for you, he’s an honourable man. But I’m sure you don’t want to stand in the way of his career, do you?’
‘And how could I do that?’ Alex began to seethe inwardly.
‘He has the chance of a lifetime to tour with me. It will open doors for him professionally. Not that he hasn’t done well already, but this tour will be the cream on the cake for him. But he feels you need him here, so I suspect he’s going to let the chance pass him by.’ Margot looked imploringly at Alex. ‘You wouldn’t want to hold him back, would you?’
‘I never have before. Why would I start now?’ Alex was controlling herself with difficulty.
Margot patted her arm and Alex had to stop herself from flinching away. ‘I knew you’d be sensible, Alex. Justin and I are going to Brisbane tomorrow to discuss the contracts for the tour. It might be as well if you let him know, very subtly, of course,’ she lowered her voice conspiratorially, ‘that you think he should put his career first.’
‘And do you think I’ll be able to convince him?’ Alex asked flatly.
‘Of course. Why, you could use that handsome young man in your band, the one Ben tells me has a crush on you, to back up your story. I have every confidence in you, Alex.’ Margot smiled again and Alex’s fingers itched to slap her face. ‘Well, I’ll leave you to finish your preparations.’ Margot stood up. ‘I’m looking forward to your little show,’ she said condescendingly as she left.
Alex sat where Margot had left her looking blindly at her mirror, her mind turning over with painful slowness. So Margot had now come out in the open. She had taken a gamble by stretching and bending the truth and in doing so she hoped to win Justin. Alex wiped a trembling hand over her eyes, her stomach churning weakly.
Justin hadn’t mentioned any American tour. But then they hadn’t really talked… They never had in the past. Everything was running true to pattern again. Pain rose within her. And once again she could see herself being hurt. She would be another piece of flotsam picked up on the tide of Justin’s life to be dumped on to the loneliness of the beach, to w
ait until he picked her up again.
She shook her head slowly. No, she couldn’t go through all that again. Not for anybody. Not even Justin. And as she sat there, long after Margot had returned to the dining-room, Alex could almost feel the presence the other girl left behind in the cloying aroma of her perfume and the words that returned to taunt her. I knew you’d be sensible, Alex.
***
Switching off the television set, Alex sat dispiritedly back in the lounge chair. The boys were away fishing and the quietness of the flat hemmed her in. Closing her eyes, she wished the past week into obscurity, out of her life, simply part of some crazy dream.
Had she really thrust Justin away for the last time? And if she had finally made him realise she didn’t want a reconciliation on any terms then why was she feeling more wretched than she’d felt in her life? Tears rolled down her cheeks.
It was all Margot’s fault. She shook her head. No. She had played right into Margot’s hands. Looking at it objectively she knew Justin would not have discussed their marriage with Margot. And she knew there was nothing between them, never had been, no matter what Margot said. There was no one she could blame but herself. She was a thinking, reasoning adult, responsible for her actions. And in one evening her actions had alienated both Justin and Paul.
She squeezed her eyes tightly closed, but it was impossible to banish from her mind the scene at the restaurant the evening Margot had visited her in her dressing room. That scene would be with her forever. What had made her do it?
Justin had approached the stage at the end of a dance bracket and seeing him coming she had turned to Paul. Deliberately she put her arm around his waist and asked him huskily to buy her a drink. Momentarily hope had flared in his eyes, only to die as he too caught sight of Justin approaching.
Play Our Song Again (Lynsey Stevens Romance Book 13) Page 15
