Fear in Her Eyes (Fire & Vice Book 5)

by Nikita Slater

  "I've traveled," he muttered.

  They shared a booth in a secluded part of the restaurant. Daniel was sitting close to Addison with his arm resting near enough to her to toy with the curls resting over her shoulder, but not close enough to interfere with her enjoyment of the delicious cuisine. He seemed more intent on watching her eat than on eating himself. Though he did take time to wolf down several bites in between conversation. She could feel him constantly tense and relax, as though the desire to cater to her was at war with his habitual discomfort at being in such a vulnerable public setting.

  "This isn't going to be cheap, Daniel," she said, a touch of anxiety in her tone, as she dabbed her lips with a cloth napkin.

  "Let me worry about that."

  "I really don't mind paying for my portion..." Addison tried to speak, but his hand came down on her shoulder with a growl.

  "Stop speaking Addison. Don’t want to have to explain the vast contents of my bank account to you in this public setting. That’ll annoy me and might lead to a public spanking depending on how annoyed I am," he explained calmly. "One small meal’s not going to break me."

  "Okay," she squeaked.

  "Eat your dessert," he said, pushing the strawberry and kiwi tart close to her hand so she would know where it was.

  "Okay."

  "Addison, relax," he said, rubbing her shoulder soothingly. "I'm not upset with you. Starting to come to terms with your independent spirit. I'm far from poor. Salary’s extremely competitive. Also have a savings account that I haven't touched from my... contracting years. Most of the time I worked in deserts and jungles where expenses were low so the money just piled up. I'm a man of few needs so haven't done anything with two decades worth of contract payments except invest."

  Addison nodded slowly. She wasn't surprised that Daniel had spent his lifetime saving money. She just hadn't really thought about it before. Their non-relationship was supposed to be impermanent up until now and she was nervous asking him personal questions. Suddenly discussing money so openly made things feel more permanent. Of course, he probably had monthly printouts on her bank and credit balances. The man had no concept of personal space when it came to her privacy.

  “Finished?" he asked quietly and, if she weren’t mistaken, with a touch of hope.

  She nodded and he took care of the bill while she found a washroom. He was waiting for her just on the other side of the door, ready to escort her back to the truck.

  "We done, or do you have anything else planned?" he asked. He sounded genuinely curious, not like he was ready for their day to be done.

  Yes, success!

  "One more stop," she announced with a grin and gave him directions.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  “The symphony?” he said, skepticism lacing his voice.

  “Trust me,” Addison said, taking his hand and pulling him around the side of the building toward the musician’s entrance.

  She dug around in her purse, past the bag of chess pieces until she felt her keychain and pulled out her set of keys. Feeling the ridges with her sensitive fingers, she chose the correct one, fit it in the deadbolt and turned the key. She pushed the door open and swiftly disarmed the alarm. She reached past Daniel, who had come in behind her, bolted the door again and turned on the lights.

  Somewhat worried he might reject her idea, she said, “We have the place to ourselves. How do you feel about a private performance?”

  He took her by the waist and kissed her lightly on the lips. “Not usually my idea of a good time, but I’m starting to like you, Addison Sterling. And so far this is the best second date I’ve ever been on.”

  She grinned up at him and whispered, “Can we call it a first date? I don’t think the other one should count.”

  “Whatever you want, baby,” he growled, kissing the tip of her nose.

  Addison felt a warm glow spreading through her as she led him through the halls of the symphony house. She showed him the back offices, the catwalk and the area behind the stage before taking him out into the audience area. She held his hand and pointed out the different areas of the house, explaining where the acoustics were going to be best.

  “…and right up there in that box is where I need you to sit. That’s where you'll be able to hear me best. Since this is the first real time I’m able to play for you, except for that time at Eleanor Channing’s party, and that doesn’t totally count because I wasn’t trying to impress you, I want everything to be perfect. I left my cello here on Friday after practice so I could do this.”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment and then said gruffly, “I’ll sit wherever you want. Just point.”

  Excitedly, she pointed, knowing she was pointing unerringly to the first tier balcony seats, “Up there. You can use the stairs behind the stage to get up there. Sit in the main box.”

  She felt him leave her side without a word, and while he made his way up to the second floor of the symphony hall, she began setting up her chair and instrument. When she was finally settled and ready to play, she looked up in the direction she knew he was sitting.

  “Daniel?” she called out.

  “Here,” his voice called back immediately. The sound was perfect. She was pleased with his placement.

  She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and tried to collect her thoughts enough to start playing. Over the past few days she’d tried to decide what he might want to hear, but she never heard him listen to music unless he was with her. Then, he listened to what she was listening to. She chose one theme after another, discarding them as she went. Now she sat in indecision.

  Finally, she decided to simply play for herself. She loved music. It was her life and her passion. It flowed through her veins every waking moment. She decided if Daniel wanted her for more than her body, then he would have to want this part of her too, because she would never let it go.

  She placed her bow and fingers on the cello and began playing, sinking into the special magical world that was hers alone. She wove a spell around herself that would reach out and capture her audience as well and sweep them along with her so they could, just for a moment, feel some of what she felt when she crossed over into that sensual world. They would feel every vibration within their chests and every sweeping caress against their flesh as though she reached out and touched them herself.

  There was a reason Addison had become the youngest First Chair in the city orchestra’s history. She melded passion with perfection and she did it with seeming ease. Yet she did it with such humble sweetness that her colleagues didn’t hate her. They simply shrugged her off as a rare prodigy and did their best to keep up with her.

  Addison played a sweeping forty minute completion that included some of her favourite jazz numbers, classic sets and, of course, eighties power ballads. Though her spirit wanted to play all night, her body was beginning to weaken. Her wrist was beginning to ache and the energy is took to play with the heart she was pouring into her music took a lot out of her. Finally, she finished with her favourite rock opera – Bohemian Rhapsody – before forcing herself to remove the bow and mechanically replace it in her case.

  She took several gulping breaths before shakily standing up. Gently she put her cello in the case and snapped the lid closed. She stood up and swept her long wavy curls back off her face. She walked to centre stage and took a stylish bow in the direction of tier one’s balcony seat. She waited breathlessly for the sound of applause.

  Nothing came. Standing very still, she listened hard, trying to pick out any sound. Was Daniel still up there?

  “Daniel?” she whispered, immediately feeling ridiculous because if he was up there he certainly wouldn’t have heard her whisper.

  She was about to call his name louder when she felt the stirring of air in front of her and realized that someone’s breath was mingling with hers. She sighed with relief, knowing it was Daniel. She opened her mouth to ask him how he liked the performance, but he pulled her hard into his embrace and covered her lips
in a sizzling kiss that stole her breath.

  Unprepared for the force of his kiss Addison gasped, which he immediately took advantage of by thrusting his tongue into her mouth. He brought his hand up to hold her head steady and deepen the kiss. Just when she was beginning to get dizzy from lack of air, he backed off, giving her room to breath while he trailed kisses across her cheeks, chin and down her neck. He touched his mouth to every inch of skin, owning her with his kisses.

  Addison moaned and held on to him tightly as sensations spiralled out of control. She was still enjoying her musical high and he was pushing her into a physical high at the same time. He rocked her back and forth against him, almost as though they were dancing, while he worshipped her body. She had never felt anything like it!

  He tipped her over his arm so he could trail kisses down her front where he pulled her T-shirt down to expose her cleavage. His lips and tongue explored her skin. She gasped and held on for dear life, her fingers landing in his hair where she explored, touching his scalp, his ears and his neck. He reached down and lifted her up so that she was straddling his waist. Her denim skirt hindered her legs, so he shoved the skirt up until she was free to wrap her legs around his body. She clutched his shoulders and head while he licked and kissed the bare skin of her shoulders and chest. They continued to rock back and forth, dancing to music only he could hear.

  “You liked it?” she gasped, desperate to know.

  Finally, he lifted his head away from her skin long enough to answer her properly. “Like it? Fuck woman. It was musical sex, I’ve never heard anything like it.”

  “Oh god, Daniel,” Addison moaned.

  He let her slide down his body slowly, she could feel every hard ridge of him through her thin clothes. When she was on her feet, he held her close and said, “You’re so precious, Addison, so talented.”

  She spoke before she could think, “I love you.”

  She could feel the air chilling around them. He held her stiffly, his body frozen, not moving. She desperately wanted to snatch the words back. For his sake, not for hers. She didn't regret giving him her heart. She was reckless that way. She didn't even care if he crushed her, though she was starting to suspect no matter how much he tried to push her away he wasn't capable of actually hurting her. At least she hoped not. The tension vibrating between them was starting to contradict her hopes.

  "We're leaving," he snapped, turning on his heel and pulling her with him.

  "My cello!" she gasped. "And the lights, I have to turn them off."

  He let go of her hand. She could hear him shove a frustrated hand through his hair. He growled "go" to her, picked up her cello case and strode off the stage toward the back door. She ran through the symphony hall as fast as she could, using the walls to guide her, shutting out lights as she went. She met him at the back door where he caught her arm in a firm grip. She tapped the alarm code in the panel and he dragged her out the back door into the chill evening air.

  Misery enveloped her as their shoes tapped unevenly against the pavement toward the truck where it was parked on the street. He opened her door and helped her in as impersonally as though she were barely an acquaintance. He climbed in the other side and started the truck, pulling into traffic.

  "I'm sorry," she whispered, tilting her head down so her hair would fall around her face. She didn't want him to see the anguish undoubtedly etching her features.

  She jumped as his fist crashed into the dashboard between them. She clutched the seat cushion and bit her lip trying to stop the tears from spilling.

  "I'm a monster, Addison," he said in a guttural voice, the words ripping from him as though they were unplanned. "Your fucking puppy heart doesn't know what it wants. I'm a killer, a sadist. I enjoy watching people die. Hell, if I have time, I kill them slower, torture them, just for the pleasure it gives me. Remember those guys that shot at you? You want to know what I did to them when I found them? You want to hear how I cut them open and played with their internal organs while they were still alive to feel it? That was why I was late coming to get you at that damn hotel."

  "Stop!" Addison sobbed, covering her ears. Tears fell freely from her eyes now. "Please, Daniel, I'm going to be sick."

  "Exactly," he growled, pulling her hand away from her ear. "You need to shut the fuck up about what you think is love. You don't know me, Addison."

  Addison shook her head, tears falling against her legs and purse. "You pursued me, Daniel. I didn't go after you. Why didn't you just let me go for good if you didn't want me to fall in love with you?"

  His fist hit the dash again, causing the truck to shudder under the impact. "I only wanted to fuck you out of my system, woman!"

  "Are you done yet?" she whispered painfully.

  "Fuck, no. I wish to fuck I was, then I could be done with this bullshit. You and your goddam emotional bullshit fuck with my head, Addison. I can't take anymore," he said so coldly she believed him.

  "What are you going to do?" she asked, her voice shaking.

  "Normally I would kill it if it became a problem."

  "Are you going to kill me?" she asked, her heart in her throat. Her blindness kept her from knowing exactly where he was taking her. Visions of the calls and letters she'd received from her stalker danced through her head along with thoughts of Daniel slowly murdering his victims. Had she so badly misjudged his feelings toward her?

  "Never," he snarled.

  "Then why did you say that?" she demanded, her teeth chattering from reaction.

  He turned the heat on reached over to jerk her jacket closed over her chest. "You fuck with my head, Addison. Maybe I need to drive you away for good this time."

  She felt the bump as they drove into the King Tower garage and onto the car elevator. This time she was prepared for their rapid ascent. She wished he would take her back to her place, but she knew better. She reluctantly allowed him to escort her through the garage, where he locked the keys in a box and then led her down the stairs and through the security floor to his apartment.

  He let go of her arm the moment they were standing inside with the door closed. She dropped her purse on the desk and stood facing the room with her arms crossed protectively in front of her. She couldn't hear him, but she could feel him. She knew he was watching her intently, scrutinizing her every move like the predator he was. She lifted her chin and let him see her eyes and tear stained face.

  "Please don't hurt me," she said, her voice clear but shaky.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Please don't hurt me, she'd begged him in that clear sweet voice, somehow piercing his heart and his intentions at the same time.

  He reached for her, taking hold of her arms and causing her to cry out. He backed her up toward the bed, peeling her jacket down her arms as they went. Her breath came out in frightened puffs, fanning his neck, turning him on. He liked her under his hands, scared, wondering what he was going to do next. It’s why he knew deep in his gut that he was no good for her.

  He yanked her shirt over her head and made short work of her skirt, unbuttoning the snaps and shoving it past her curvy hips. Reaching around her, he unclipped her bra and let it fall to the floor. She gasped and tried to reach for his shoulders when he lifted her by the waist and tossed her on the bed. With cold precision he pulled her arms up and locked them into leather restraints on the headboard. He’d put them there earlier so they could play, have fun. Now they would serve a more sinister purpose.

  "Why are you doing this?" she begged, her unfocused eyes wide with apprehension.

  "You have to know, Addison."

  "Know what, Daniel?" she whispered with a shiver as he trailed his hand down her bare body.

  "What kind of a broken, fucked up deviant I am," he said quietly. "Maybe once you know what I'm really capable of you'll leave this time and not come back."

  He crouched over her body, his fists on either side of her shoulders, and leaned over to capture her lips in a kiss. It was a desperate kiss as he warred with himse
lf. He knew he needed to hurt her, to drive her away for good this time. But god help him, it shattered his soul, the thought of crushing this beautiful, trusting creature that lay submissively beneath him. He was turned on too, he desperately wanted her with every fucked up part of his being.

  "No," she whispered against his lips, when he released her long enough so she could draw breath. "Daniel, you aren't. It's not your fault. Please let my hands go, let me show you how it can be."

  He shook his head and said, "No, it's too late, Addison."

  "It's not!" she cried out before he took her lips in another searing kiss that silenced any further protest.

  He took his time moving down her body. As he pulled the panties down her thighs, she gasped and clenched her hands into fists over her head. He glanced up and noticed her nails were chipped where they bit into her skin. It wasn’t him noticing that was so significant. He noticed everything about everyone. It was his job to see details and assess people for weaknesses. What bothered him about Addison was that he cared about her details. Why did she chew her nails? Was she stressed about something? Did it bother her that her nails were so short? Did it affect her playing? He would find out and then he would fix it for her before he disappeared from her life. He was starting to realize that this woman captivated him in a way that was inexplicable.

  He dropped her panties on the floor and reached for her throat, wrapping his strong, blunt fingers around the delicate column. She looked up at him, her eyes almost seeming to focus for just a moment on his, her blank golden gaze pierced his soul, wrapping his body in familiar warmth and denying him the terrible wrath he needed to punish her body and drive her away.

  "Fuck!" he snarled, his voice raw with fury and pain.

  He punched the bed frame above Addison's prone body with a shout of rage, cracking the wood beneath his fist. She bit her lip hard and tried to stay as still as possible while he acted like a wild beast, inches from her vulnerable, naked body. She shook in fear and curled her legs up protectively. After a moment he looked down at her. He tried to feel gratified that he was frightening her, that he was succeeding in his original goal, even if this wasn't how he'd planned it. Instead, all he could feel was regret. He reached down and eased the leather cuffs off her wrists. Rolling off her, he sat on the edge of the bed.