Iced Tea

by Sheila Horgan

  “How about if we forget about the fish, they have boneless rib eyes on sale at Publix, I’ll grab some, and we can have the guys grill them while we do the other stuff and catch up in the kitchen. They replaced the grill out by the pool at my apartment complex, and they have a really nice setup out there.”

  “That sounds perfect. You sure you want to splurge on rib eyes?”

  “Why not? Maybe all that protein will kick my brain in gear and I’ll actually figure out this whole conundrum.”

  “What time?”

  “I’m not positive. We’ll say six, and if I check with AJ and that’s a bad time, or Jessie can’t make it, we’ll talk. If we don’t hear from each other, six will work.”

  “Six it is. See you then.”

  I didn’t even have to ask her to bring dessert. That’s a Teagan thing. She knows. She’s a good sister.

  And the powers kicked back in.

  Thank you God.

  Sisters!

  I missed that.

  I would do anything for my sister.

  Wouldn’t Jerkface?

  Wouldn’t Jerkface’s sister do anything for him?

  I called Billy again.

  “Cara, this is a surprise. Two calls so close together. Am I sick?”

  “Very funny Billy. I have a question for you. Do you know where Louis is buried?”

  “Why certainly. I presided over a small graveside service when he was interned.”

  “I could have sworn someone told me that he was cremated, and I thought that was against the rules for a Catholic.”

  “Cara, you really need to spend more time with the Church. The ban on cremation was lifted in the 1960s. Since the late 1990s, the cremated remains of a Catholic are to be treated exactly the same way un-cremated remains would be treated.”

  “Well, I can’t be held accountable for rules that changed before I was ever born, Billy.”

  “Cara, I don’t know how to break this to you, but the rules of the Church, with rare exception, have been around since long before either of us were born.”

  “Good point. So where is he?”

  “Who?”

  “Louis.”

  “You really need to put your blinker on before you change subjects so quickly, you could cause injury.”

  “Teagan always says I’m going to give myself whiplash.”

  “Teagan is a smart woman.”

  “Louis?”

  “Oh, well, he’s buried on the north…”

  “Billy, I barely know my right from my left, I do not know where north is.”

  “If you’re standing at the foot of Bernie’s grave.”

  “Okay.”

  “And you look toward the freeway.”

  “Okay.”

  “He is buried at about one o’clock, probably the third row in, in the new section.”

  “That section is for cremated people?”

  “Yep.”

  “I didn’t go over there last time I was out to talk to Bernie because I thought that was another baby section, the headstones were so close together, and I just couldn’t do more babies.”

  “The death of a child is the most difficult.”

  “Billy, I gotta go, but I really appreciate your help. Oh, and before I forget, I promised Bernie the last time I was at the cemetery, that I would get down to the soup kitchen and help out every once in a while. Who should I talk to about that? Do I just show up?”

  “No, there’s a schedule. You remember Alice from school. I think she was in your class, maybe Teagan’s.”

  “Alice with the beautiful dark long hair?”

  “Yep, that’s her. She’s in charge of scheduling. I’ll have her contact you through the email address I have for you.”

  “Thanks Billy. By the way, does she still have all that beautiful hair?”

  “No, she actually has more of it now. It’s long, a little darker, and very thick. She hates it. Complains about it all the time, but I guess her husband loves it. She has two little girls with just the same hair.”

  “I hate her.”

  “Cara, don’t be that way.”

  “Fine, she’s a lovely person. I hate her hair. That’s better than envy right?”

  I hung up as he chuckled.

  When I confronted Jerkface, when he was still Joe-the-cop, about following me to the cemetery, he said that he didn’t have his car that day, that he’d been using his sister’s truck, and then when I said that I thought his car was at the cemetery, he said that his sister had lost her fiancé recently. So smooth I didn’t even think about it, and I bet she would have backed him up, too.

  I have no doubt that he was following me.

  No doubt.

  The question is, why?

  More puzzle pieces.

  Okay, you know what? I’m even boring myself. I keep asking the same questions over and over, and I’m not getting anywhere.

  Time to change my brain. Easiest way to do that is to repeat my favored mantra, every time my brain gets in the Jerkface loop.

  I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am thankful, I am thin.

  I am healthy, and thin, and always thankful. Wealthy, well, they say you’re supposed to visualize what you want as if it’s already real, and it’ll materialize; you’ll manifest it into your life.

  There are worse things to visualize than being wealthy.

  I’ll share. It’s not purely selfish.

  I puttered around the house for a little while. Got all the preparations done for dinner.

  I sent off a little thank you note to Jovana for all that she is doing for my family.

  I called and checked in with some of my brothers and sisters. I’ve been woefully neglectful of them lately.

  I tried to focus on what I want to do when I grow up. I need a job. I need income, not out-go. So far my efforts to become an entrepreneur are not getting me very far, at least not in the way of income.

  I played around with my hair for a while. I made sections, about the size of a smallish hot roller, twisted my hair, and wrapped it around the roller. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that your hair will look full and more wavy than curly. That would be good.

  I dug out my makeup and played with some colors. Baby pink and medium gray eye shadows. Having blue eyes, those particular shades make my eyes pop. I tried a really red lip, just for the sake of drama, thinking I could be Jessica Rabbit, at least from the neck up, but I looked more like The Joker. I’m pale like that.

  I scrubbed off my lips but left my eyes as they were.

  I went to the kitchen and pulled the meat out of the fridge, cause my uncle says you’re supposed to have it closer to room temperature when you start to barbeque it.

  AJ got home first. He took a quick shower and then went out to make sure the grill was clean and working. For some reason, the people in my apartment complex have a real problem acting responsibly about the community grill. It really isn’t all that difficult to keep the sucker clean, and to let the office know if you used the last of the propane, but some people just don’t get it.

  Good news, all is well with the grill.

  Teagan and Jessie showed up on time. Teagan stuffed some kind of goodness in the fridge, I’m assuming dessert, and Jessie went back out to the grill with AJ. They decided to take a drink out to the pool, watch the swimmers, and start the meat in 20 minutes.

  That would give Teagan and me time to talk.

  “What kind of potatoes do you want? I can zap some baked potatoes in the microwave, we can do fries, we can skip potatoes and just do meat with some bread and fruit, or I’m out of options and we can just gnaw on meat.”

  “How about baked? Do you have anything to put on them besides butter?”

  “Actually, you’ll be shocked and amazed to find out that I do. I have everything and then some. AJ eats like a normal person so I’ve been trying to keep that kind of stuff in the house. Be impressed.”

  “I’ll be impressed when I find out what you have to put on the pota
toes.”

  “I have butter. I have cream cheese stuff.”

  “Cream cheese?”

  “Sorry, sour cream.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ve got catsup, scallions, salsa and mushrooms.”

  “You have mushrooms?”

  “I know, fungus in my house, it’s hard to believe.”

  “It sure is.”

  “Let’s see, I’ve even got Bacon Bits. I don’t know what else, I don’t put anything but butter on mine, but the fridge and the cupboards are full, you can search around and see if anything else is appropriate.”

  “This is major growth, Cara. Next thing you know, you’ll even try some of it.”

  “I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.”

  “What kind of bread have you got?”

  “I have some really good french bread from Publix. It was still warm when I grabbed it. I got multiple loaves. I’m gonna warm one with just butter on it, one without butter on it, one with garlic butter sauce I stole off the Internet.”

  “It’s not really stealing it if it’s on the Internet for everyone to see.”

  “True. They have it up there in restaurant quantities, so I have a couple of pounds of the stuff in the freezer. I just hack off a piece and melt it when I want some. You know what, if I zap some in the microwave, it gets all frothy on top, and I eat it with a tortilla.”

  “You? A tortilla? What is the world coming to? Next you’ll tell me you tried a hamburger.”

  “I’ve never had a hamburger, and my guess is, I’ll die a hamburger virgin.”

  “You are so weird. Oh, I forgot to tell you. I am trying a new wrap tomorrow, you want to come?”

  “A wrap, like a chicken wrap for lunch, wrap?”

  “No, Dingleberry, a wrap like a body wrap.”

  “And you say I’m weird.”

  “There’s nothing weird about a body wrap.”

  “Right. It’s perfectly normal to go take all your clothes off in front of a stranger. Have him or her slime you with glop.”

  “It’s a her, and it isn’t glop. It’s a proprietary blend of all kinds of good stuff, and don’t forget the dry brushing.”

  “Right, that’s real advanced, somebody you don’t know takes a brush and tries to scrub your skin off.”

  “That doesn’t happen. It’s good for cellulite and dry skin and about a hundred other issues that might not be annoying you right now, but you are headed for.”

  “I’m not gonna let somebody scrub my skin off, slather me with gunk, wrap me up like a mummy, hose me down and call it pampering.”

  “You’re such a dweeb.”

  “I can live with that.”

  “For the record, that isn’t what happens, and I think you’d really enjoy it.”

  “I’m not going. I don’t do body wraps. If you want to do that, and you think it’s worth your time and money, more power to you, but I’m not doing it.”

  “Subject change. Have you done anything about the trunk Bernie gave you? Have you looked at anything yet?”

  “Nope.”

  “What’s going on with you Cara? There was a time in the not so distant past that we couldn’t have held you off that trunk. You’ve had it all this time and you haven’t even opened one thing? What’s up with that?”

  “Don’t tell anyone, but I think I’m starting to grow up.”

  “That can’t be it.”

  “I didn’t think so, I just wanted to see what it would sound like if I said it out loud.”

  “Why haven’t you looked through it yet?”

  “Remember Tina, when we were growing up?”

  “You mean Mrs. Ladner’s niece?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What’s she got to do with Bernie’s trunk?”

  “Nothing, directly. Remember when we were in about the 6th grade. Mrs. Ladner had her spend the summer. That summer, Mrs. Ladner bought her a charm bracelet and from that summer on, every time there was a really big deal in Tina’s life, Mrs. Ladner bought her another charm.”

  “Okay, but I still don’t see what that has to do with the trunk.”

  “I’ve decided to do the trunk like the bracelet, but in reverse.”

  “What?”

  “I’ve decided that every time there’s a major big thing in my life, I’m going to open something from the trunk.”

  “So, what’s your first big thing?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “How are you going to know? Is it going to be when you get married, or have a baby or win the lottery? What are the parameters that make it a really big deal, worthy of something out of the trunk?”

  “I swear to God Teagan, if you laugh at me, I’m gonna hurt you.”

  “I won’t laugh.”

  “Bernie will tell me.”

  One little tear went down Teagan’s cheek.

  “What?”

  “Cara, I think Bernie would really like that idea. I’m sure she will tell you when the time is right to look in the trunk.”

  Unable to let anything so solemn stand, Teagan finished up with “I sure as hell hope she tells you I’m supposed to be standing there, and if the thing you open is really great, that you’re supposed to share with your favorite sister.”

  “Oh, she already told me, nothing for you.”

  “Bull.”

  “Cow.”

  AJ and Jessie walked in, looked at each other, and didn’t say a word about it.

  As AJ was walking into the kitchen he said, “Something smells good.”

  “Warming up some bread, and Cara is zapping us some potatoes.”

  “That’ll work.”

  “Anybody want veggies?”

  Jesse shook his head; “I can live without them for one day. Look at the size of those steaks!”

  “The butcher loves me.”

  “I guess so.”

  “About how long?”

  “About half an hour. You like yours medium well, right?”

  “Yep. I don’t want any bleeding on my plate. I don’t mind a little color in the middle, but no bleeding.”

  “Teagan?”

  “I’ll take mine the same as Cara.”

  “Well, we’ll put yours on first then.”

  “I had the butcher butterfly two of them, because I know you guys like your meat to moo back at you, and I didn’t want you to have to wait forever for ours to cook.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I put every spice I own, which I will admit isn’t all that many, but a bunch more than I used to own, on the wooden tray by the fridge. If you can just sprinkle a little seasoned salt and pepper on mine, I’m good.”

  “Me too.” Teagan piped in.

  The guys shook their heads, took the meat, an extra platter, the cooking utensils, the spices, a couple more drinks, and a bag of chips, and headed for the door.

  Teagan jumped up on the counter, “Any more from Joe-the-cop?”

  “He has a new name. He’s Officer Jerkface.”

  “Why is that again?”

  “I think he is trying to manipulate the hell out of me.”

  “In what way?”

  “He gave me this whole line of crap, and the more I think about it, the less I believe it.”

  “So, what’re you going to do about it?”

  “He told me I couldn’t talk to anyone about it.”

  “Well, that’s your first sign.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Didn’t Mom always say that if anyone in the world, besides Mom and Dad, told us that we couldn’t tell anyone something, that they were trying to get us ready to hurt us. Isn’t that what child molesters do while they’re grooming a child?”

  “I hardly think he’s going to try to molest me Teagan.”

  “There are a lot of ways to molest someone Cara, it doesn’t have to be sexual, and you don’t have to be a child.”

  “Good point.”

  “So, tell me.”

  “How about we wait for the guys,
and I’ll tell everybody at once.”

  “You haven’t even told AJ?”

  “Nope.”

  “I hope he reacts well. If there was something that big going on in my life, and I didn’t tell Jessie, he would not be a happy man.”

  “Jessie and AJ are not the same man. It’s a good thing, because we are no where near the same woman.”

  Teagan looked to the ceiling, “From your lips to God’s ears.”

  “Exactly. I don’t need the toenail growth.”

  “I don’t need the fur.”

  “It would be a real problem during the body wrap.”

  “That’s all I’m sayin’”

  Teagan and I chatted about all things O’Flynn, but didn’t come up with anything overly exciting.

  The guys came back in with perfectly grilled steaks.

  We had warmed bread in baskets, hot potatoes with all the trimmings, some of them I would never have thought of. Do people really put ranch dressing on a baked potato? Jessie does. Who knew?

  Everything was perfect; at least until Teagan decided to bring up the whole – someone could be out to kill my sister, thing, “Cara isn’t going to bring it up herself, so I’m going to do it for her.”

  “Don’t start Teagan.”

  “You said you would fill us all in.”

  “I will, but I figured we could at least eat some of our food first. The bread is gonna get cold.”

  “I can live with that. Speak.”

  “Fine. You guys know the basics of what’s been going on lately, right?”

  I got head nods all around.

  “Well, the other day, Officer Jerkface…”

  Jessie looked confused already. “Who’s Officer Jerkface?”

  “Joe-the-cop.”

  “Okay. I won’t ask. Go ahead.”

  “Officer Jerkface showed up at my parents. Well, actually I invited him over to talk, because he kept showing up places when I was alone, and as any O’Flynn will tell you, there’s safety in numbers. I figured at least if he showed up at Mom and Daddy’s, there would be some kind of witness.”

  “Witness?” AJ’s eyebrows pinched so hard in the middle, they almost met his nostrils. “If you need a witness Cara, maybe you shouldn’t have been doing it. Obviously you think the guy is dangerous.”

  Teagan, AJ’s new cheerleader, chimed in, “I’ve been telling her that forever.”