EQMM, June 2008

by Dell Magazine Authors

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  Dell Magazines

  www.dellmagazines.com

  Copyright ©2008 by Dell Magazines

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  NOTICE: This work is copyrighted. It is licensed only for use by the original purchaser. Making copies of this work or distributing it to any unauthorized person by any means, including without limit email, floppy disk, file transfer, paper print out, or any other method constitutes a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines or imprisonment.

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  Cover photograph by Michael Culligan

  CONTENTS

  Special Feature: Edward D. Hoch: In Memoriam by Janet Hutchings

  Fiction: A WANDERING-DAUGHTER JOB by Edward D. Hoch

  Fiction: THE BEST SUIT by Peter Lovesy

  Reviews: BLOG BYTES by Bill Crider

  Novelette: CRUEL AND UNUSUAL by Clark Howard

  Novelette: WHO'S AFRAID OF NERO WOLFE? by Loren D. Estleman

  Reviews: THE JURY BOX by Jon L. Breen

  Fiction: FORGET ME NEVER by Terence Faherty

  Fiction: THE BLONDE TIGRESS by Max Allan Collins

  Fiction: CLAY PILLOWS by James Powell

  Fiction: FLOORED by Twist Phelan

  Department of First Stories: EXERCISE IS MURDER by Meredith Cole

  Passport to Crime: THE CENTER OF THE WEB by Christian X. Ferdinandus

  NEXT ISSUE...

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  Special Feature: Edward D. Hoch: In Memoriam by Janet Hutchings

  On Thursday, January 17, 2008, Edward D. Hoch, a contributor to this magazine with a 35-year unbroken streak of monthly publication, died of a heart attack at his home in Rochester, New York. We know that to many of our readers this news will be experienced as the loss of a friend they never had a chance to meet.

  Ed's appreciation for his readers showed in his next-day response to almost every reader letter we forwarded to him. In at least one instance, a reader's fan note generated a twenty-year correspondence. For those of us who had the good fortune to know Ed in person, such evidences of his openness and warmth even to people he'd never met came as no surprise. His reputation as a good and gentle man was almost as important to his legendary status in the community of mystery writers and editors as his prodigious output of first-rate short stories.

  Ed Hoch's long association with EQMM goes back to 1962 when he first made a sale to editor Fred Dannay. Many of the 28 series Ed developed over the course of his career have run exclusively in EQMM. They include that featuring his lovable thief Nick Velvet, who found his way onto French TV in the 1970s. Among the “objects of little or no value” that were the target of Velvet's larceny was the “ostracized ostrich” of the final Velvet story, which won the 2007 EQMM Readers Award (an honor revealed to Ed prior to his death). His next planned Velvet story (unwritten, sadly) was inspired by a letter from a wife desperate to get her husband to stop wearing an old shirt. “I thought of Nick Velvet,” she wrote. “He could steal it and dispose of it before my husband discovered it missing.” Readers allover the world had that kind of genial, intimate rapport with Ed through his characters. Collections from his 940-plus stories saw print in countries such as China, Japan, Thailand, Germany, Iceland, and Sweden, and everywhere they drew fans who wrote and urged Ed to let his characters live on.

  And they did go on, except that unlike most authors, Ed let his characters age in real time. Only a writer as clever at plotting as Ed could manage that gracefully, finding plausible reasons for reactivating his ex-spy, Rand, or including his retired police captain, Leopold, in new adventures. But then, Ed was among the most ingenious writers ever to work in the genre. He had a bottomless reservoir of ideas, and once told me (his editor of 17 years and 188 stories) that he didn't like writing novels because he was always full of new ideas before the novel could be completed.

  As Ed himself aged there was no diminution to his productivity. He always had many literary irons in the fire. From 1976 to 1995 he partnered with his wife Patricia (to whom he was devoted) to read every mystery story published and make selections for two best-of-the-year series. Later, he served on numerous judging committees for short-story awards.

  Ed was himself a recipient of virtually all of the field's top honors. A Grand Master of the Mystery Writers of America, he also won an Edgar and two Anthony Awards for best short story and lifetime achievement awards from the Private Eye Writers of America, the Short Mystery Fiction Society, and the Bouchercon World Mystery Convention.

  Several more new stories, and reprints of others that only saw print elsewhere, remain before Ed's EQMM streak is broken. His presence will still be felt here, as a cherished friend, and as part of the spirit that guides this magazine, long after that day arrives.

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  Fellow MWA Grand Masters

  For longer than I can remember, I've turned first to Ed Hoch's story when I've opened EQMM. That the man produced rich, readable short fiction in such volume for so many years is clearly as impossible as any puzzle Sam Hawthorne ever had to contend with; that he moved through life with such gentle grace and good humor makes his loss one we'll feel profoundly.

  —Lawrence Block

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  Ed was a simple man, at home with the immeasurable human complexities. He loved to talk craft, and lunch with Ed could shed a soft light on his guest's hard problem. He was almost always the host, generous of mind and pocket. And he was carefully honest, for he would tell you what you needed to know, not always what you wanted to hear. He was fun to be with, and a delight to read. Our genre will survive his passing, but it is a lot poorer today.

  —Dorothy Salisbury Davis

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  Ed Hoch was king of the mystery short-story writers, as well as a fast friend in both good times and bad. I'll miss his wry wit, his kindness, and his ability to create fiendish twists and surprise endings. There was no getting ahead of his storytelling; at least, he fooled me every time.

  —Marcia Muller

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  I was privileged to have known Ed for more than 35 years. He was a good friend, a kind and true gentleman, and little short of a genius when it came to concocting and writing the mystery short story—a man blessed with the most wonderfully fertile and inventive imagination of any writer I've ever read. I'll miss him immensely.

  —Bill Pronzini

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  Fellow Writers: U.S., U.K. and Canada

  It is impossible to imagine Ed Hoch not alive. There he would be at every possible crime get-together—a lovable presence: welcoming, guffawing, always one of the life and souls of the party. And he could be a chiding presence too: When in a panel session I said I didn't read short stories, he made it clear this was a sin infinitely worse than the love that dares not speak its name. What a wonderful life he and Pat lived together, and how they both have enriched ours!

  —Robert Barnard

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  Ed Hoch was one of the first writers I met when I joined MWA in 1982. He was always a man of good cheer, generous with his time, and thoughtful in his analysis of the mystery short story, which is surely his to claim as sole proprietor. During our encounters at mystery events over the years, he was quick with his praise and a constant and enthusiastic champion of both new and established writers. He was a master of invention and more importantly, a gentleman. He was probably working on a short story when he died.

  —Sue Grafton

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  To me, Ed Hoch was the living archetype of a mystery writer: a quiet, polite, unassuming, ever-smiling gentleman who spent his days dreaming up ways to connive, steal, and murder. In his unflagging enthusiasm, his perseverance, his dogged creativity, and his generosity toward other
writers, he was a true ambassador of the craft. What I ad-mired most about him was that he did not allow the changing marketplace to change him, and, in doing so, blazed a trail such that none will ever follow, stretching nearly a thousand stories long. Such intransigence is itself the way of the artist. Of all the “impossible crime” stories Ed was noted for, perhaps the most amazing was the one he perpetrated himself: he made a successful living crafting short stories. In many ways, I think Ed Hoch may be the only true writer I've ever met.

  —Chuck Hogan

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  Ed Hoch and I shared a table of contents page for the first time in the January 1957 issue of Crime and Justice Detective Story Magazine. I knew him longer than I knew any other fellow writer. His writing tenacity, work ethic, and storytelling ability made him unique in our profession. I doubt that anyone will ever match his short story output.

  —Clark Howard

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  Modest, amiable, and generous, Ed was one of those people who lit up a room with his smile. Yet as a writer he was formidable. To make a career of over fifty years from short stories and little else demonstrates amazing self-belief and application. What a marvelous legacy he has left us—about a thousand stories sharply written, immaculately plotted, and never deviating from his standard of fair play.

  —Peter Lovesey

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  Back in the early ‘80s, as an unknown with only one novel to my name, I attended my first dinner meeting of MWA's NYchapter. I knew no one and felt quite intimidated to be in the same room with so many “names.” But Ed and Pat Hoch immediately took me under their wings and out for drinks afterwards, where Ed regaled me with tales of his own early days at MWA when he was in the military at the end of WWII. The highlight of any conference was running into Ed and Pat, having breakfast together or a quick drink or dishing with them at the EQMM Edgar's parties. Ed was a true professional who deserved every one of his accolades and awards, but he was also one of the good ones—devoid of ego, devoted to his wife, and someone I genuinely miss.

  —Margaret Maron

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  I'm sitting with Ed and Pat Hoch after a Crime Writers of Canada dinner. Ed just presented me with the short-story prize. We're talking books. I set him up. I say I'm reading a 1997 edition of The Red Right Hand with one of the most incisive introductions ever penned. Ed looks up slowly; memory flutters behind his eyes. “I wrote that,” he says, and his entire face beams the proud, proprietary grin of a Rochester kid with a Rangers card of a player sent up to the Twins. It's that smile I'll remember, Ed's big-league smile.

  —Dennis Murphy

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  Ed Hoch was the Will Shortz of short detective fiction, the puzzlemaster par excellence. But he was also a genuinely good person, so open-minded and giving, such a pleasure to be with, that I would count my near forty years of friendship and interaction with him as one of the rare privileges of my life if he had never written a word.

  —Francis M. Nevins

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  Ed Hoch was an amazing individual. Though I didn't know him well, I was struck by his graciousness, his intelligence, the width and depth of his reading, and his wholly unpretentious manner. Ed Hoch has seemed to me a gentleman from another era, a true professional with a zest for his craft and a love of mystery writing that is unparalleled in our time. We will all miss him very much—EQMM will not be the same without a story of Ed's.

  —Joyce Carol Oates

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  Whether it was at Bouchercon or Bloody Words, I could always guarantee that sooner or later I'd bump into Ed and Pat Hoch wandering around the corridors. And they'd always greet Sheila and me with a friendly smile, a handshake from Ed, and a big hug from Pat. Conversation would almost immediately proceed to short stories, and I could be sure Ed would be aware of my latest effort and have something positive to say. He encouraged so many people in what is often seen as a difficult and thankless form of writing that it is impossible to overestimate his influence. We also talked about taking the Lake Ontario ferry from Toronto to Rochester (on those rare occasions when it was running!) but we never did. Now there's no reason. We'll miss him.

  —Peter Robinson

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  During high school, a friend and I read both EQMM and AHMM regularly. Ed Hoch was among our favorite authors. Years later, before we met, Ed did me a tremendous favour, including my first published story on his Year's Best Honor Roll. This was thrilling, and it helped alter the course of my writing career. My letter of thanks to him, via his publisher, was replied to right away. I had learned my first lesson about the kind of extraordinary man Ed was. Those myriad readers who know the work and love Ed the writer would have loved the man even more. Of unique stature in his field, he was always kind, generous, and supportive. When we met for the first time, at a Bouchercon, Ed invited me to join him and Pat for a drink as if we were old friends. He made me feel I belonged. Ed, you made my life better. God bless.

  —Peter Sellers

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  Fellow Editors and Aficionados

  Ed Hoch was not just a staggeringly prolific author, he was also an enthusiastic collaborator. Back in the late ‘80s I worked for the company that owned EQMM and any time we set out to put together an anthology of stories on a given theme, we knew we could call Ed and in minutes have knowledgeable recommendations from decades of not only his own stories but his reading of others’ work. When we had a question about the magazine's history, Ed was the go-to guy. And when I broke into EQMM's Department of First Stories, no one could have been more excited for me. I'll never forget the look of pride in Ed's eyes, twenty years later, when he handed me the best-short-story Edgar. No one represented the mystery short-storywriter's art better than Ed, and no one could have worn that mantle with more grace.

  —Charles Ardai

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  It was an honor to know Ed Hoch. I first met him in the mid ‘80s when I worked at Mystery Writers of America. He was a strong supporter—and member—of many authors organizations. Ed was also a walking encyclopedia of the mystery, past and present, and loved to answer questions, the harder the better. He was one of the finest friends anyone could ever have, and his stories were so delightful we hoped he'd go on for many more years.

  —Mary Frisque

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  Around 1980, at a Bouchercon Convention, I set up a panel on locked-room mysteries. The star, of course, was my friend Ed Hoch, who even then had surpassed all specialists in this form of literary trickery except for the great master, John Dickson Carr. The format was that I invented seemingly impossible crimes—for instance, a disappearance from the Channel Tunnel between England and France—and challenged the panelists to devise solutions. Of Ed's 950 or so short stories, 120 featured such impossible crimes. Needless to say, he came up with convincing explanations to my challenge in record time. As Carr remarked of Ed's inventiveness, “Satan himself would be proud of his ingenuity.” On one occasion, at a convention, I recall Ed producing a full story plot between getting on an escalator and arriving at the top. There will never be another like him.

  —Doug Greene

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  With the death of Edward D. Hoch, the mystery community lost a major writer. He brought pleasure to readers hundreds of times with his stories, which challenged them with fair-play clues and often were of that most difficult to write subgenre: the impossible crime. I lost a friend of more than thirty years, a kind and generous man who helped me more times than I can count.

  —Marvin Lachman

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  In an era in which the detective short story became a rara avis, Ed Hoch was a prolific producer of that most demanding form. His stories relied on the old-fashioned notion of observation and deduction, with cerebral elements taking center stage. Violence, sex, obscenity, and gutter life were not to be found in his work. While he was not a notably original stylist, his stories were beloved partly because of the clarity of his prose, the mind-
bending puzzles he created, and a notable collection of series characters who were intelligent and kindly, reflecting the author's own personality.

  —Otto Penzler

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  Ed was a legend, but also a friend. Once a year the Hochs, Doug Greene, and I would meet for dinner. Discussing everything from politics to current movies, from religion to Ed's latest stories, our dinners were lively, loving, and laughter-filled. Everywhere we went, Ed ordered the same meal (filet mignon, fries, glass of milk, vanilla ice cream), but he thrilled us with his encyclopedic knowledge, his uncanny plots, and his sweet laughter.

  —Steve Steinbock

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Fiction: A WANDERING-DAUGHTER JOB by Edward D. Hoch

  Since we'd been in business together, my partner Mike Trapper had taken the first two weeks in July for his vacation. It was a slow time of year for Darlan & Trapper, and he had a young wife who liked to travel. That was fine with me, because I was always something of a loner. I'd taken Mike on as a partner years ago simply because I was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and he had family money to invest.

  These days we handled mainly insurance fraud. There wasn't much divorce business anymore, and I would have loved a wandering-daughter job like the old private eyes used to get. I suppose that was why I was secretly pleased when Sam Borden phoned me that Tuesday morning. “It's about finding my daughter,” he said. “Could you come over?"

  I'd known Sam off and on for a long time. Some years back he'd been our landlord, owner of the old building that housed our office. He'd moved on to bigger and better things, becoming a small-scale real estate tycoon in our medium-sized city. I remembered he had a daughter who'd be in her early twenties now.

  He was awaiting me in his office, with a smiling face and a hairpiece that looked like a bird's nest. “Glad you could come so quickly, Darlan,” he said, giving me a firm handshake. “How are things with your new landlord?"

  "We never see him. We just mail in the rent check every month. But what can I do for you? You said on the phone you want me to find your daughter."