God Don't Make No Mistakes

by Mary Monroe

  As soon as Wyrita opened her mouth, my chest tightened, and I began to ache in several parts of my body. “I seen Lizzie’s little baby boy a couple of hours ago,” she began with glee. “He looked so sweet and innocent,” she added, giving me the kind of look that people give to women they feel sorry for. I couldn’t understand why she was feeling sorry for me. “I was at the hospital visiting my aunt Mildred. She just had hip surgery.”

  “Oh, I hope she recovers soon,” I said, ignoring her comment about Lizzie’s new baby boy.

  I attempted to leave, but Wyrita jumped in front of me. The way she grabbed my arm you would have thought that she was a security guard trying to subdue a shoplifter.

  “That baby looks just like Pee Wee,” Wyrita reported, looking at me like I had just announced I had a fatal disease. And what she had just said made me feel like I had a fatal disease. But I was getting tired of people feeling sorry for me. I was still a strong woman. I had survived more crises than five other women put together. I didn’t need any more pity.

  “Is that right?” I replied, trying to sound and look like I was not interested. “I’d better get home before my ice cream melts.” I sighed. “It was nice seeing you again. If you and Lizel need any help with the kids at the child-care center, I’ll take some time off work to help out until Rhoda gets back from Jamaica.” I rushed off before she could get another word in edgewise, but the words that had already slid out of her mouth rang in my ears all the way to my house.

  Until I inspected that baby’s features with my own eyes, I refused to accept what Wyrita had just said. I would decide for myself if the child looked “just like Pee Wee.” If he was really telling me the truth about him not being with Lizzie since their breakup last May, he was not that baby’s daddy. However, if Pee Wee did sleep with Lizzie after their breakup and even though his sperm count was extremely low, there was still a possibility that he could be that baby’s father. I knew that because I had spent a few hours on my computer Googling information on the subject one night a few weeks ago.

  The uncertainty of the baby’s paternity was going to haunt me until I knew for sure. But I made up my mind to let Pee Wee bring it up the next time I saw him.

  CHAPTER 55

  PEE WEE SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE UNEXPECTEDLY AROUND TEN that same night. He sat on one end of the living room couch, and I sat on the other. We made small talk and drank a few beers as we watched two episodes of The Cosby Show that I had recorded. Lillimae was with Muh’Dear, and Charlotte was in bed.

  He seemed uneasy. He kept scratching his head, the side of his neck, and his face. He also cleared his throat a lot. Finally, he said, “I don’t like to get in your business, but are you seein’ anybody else right now?” He paused and did some more scratching. This time it was his arm. “You seem nervous and jumpy. And your mind seems to be on a thousand other things.”

  To say that I was nervous and jumpy and that my mind was on a thousand other things was an understatement. I had a lot on my mind right now. The issue of Lizzie’s baby was on my mind, but that was not what I wanted to deal with tonight. I had to deal with what Rhoda was up to. I could always deal with Lizzie and that baby later. The baby had been conceived and was here, and I had to live with that knowledge. I couldn’t do a damn thing to change the outcome of something that had already happened. I could do something about a situation that had not happened yet—but could I? Other than pray, what else could I do? Rhoda’s mind was made up, and one thing I knew about her was that when she decided she was going to do something, nobody could talk her out of it. Trying to do so was a waste of time. Her mind was as pliable as a slab of concrete. With each passing day, I became a little more concerned about what Rhoda was threatening to do to Jade.

  “I’m not nervous or jumpy,” I defended, rubbing the side of my arm even though it was not itching.

  “You didn’t answer my question. I want to know if you seein’ anybody else right now?” Pee Wee asked again.

  “We’re still separated, and as long as we are, I will see other men if I want to. Why do you ask?”

  “Like I just said, your mind seems to be a thousand miles away. Your eyes are glassy and you look nervous. I know you were not expectin’ me, but if you want me to leave so somebody else can come, I will. The last thing I want to do is cause you some embarrassment with one of your other men friends.”

  “I think it’s a little too late for you to be worrying about embarrassing me,” I said, sounding more hostile than I meant to.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Pee Wee growled, leaning sideways with his head turned so he could see my face better. “You got another man lined up for tonight or not?”

  I shifted in my seat and turned so that I could see his face better too. “That’s none of your business,” I snapped.

  “I know, I know,” he moaned, rubbing his cheek. “Well, I guess we should change the subject, huh?”

  “Sounds like a good idea to me,” I quipped, folding my arms.

  “How is work?” From the bored look on his face, I knew that he was about as interested in my work as I was in his.

  “Work is fine, Pee Wee.”

  “That’s nice, Annette,” he muttered.

  We remained silent for a few moments. During those sounds of silence, I realized that I could no longer ignore the “elephant” in my living room. And it was a mighty big one too. It had to be addressed. “Did you know that Lizzie had her baby last night? A little boy?”

  Pee Wee’s eyes got big, and his jaw twitched. He blinked and looked at the floor before looking back at me. “Who told you?” Now he was the one looking nervous and jumpy.

  “I ran into Wyrita at the store this evening and she told me. She said that little boy looks just like you... .”

  “All newborns look alike,” he defended, patting his pockets.

  “I didn’t say anything about that baby looking like other newborns. I said I was told that he looks just like you.”

  Pee Wee pulled a joint from his jacket pocket and lit it. I could tell that he really was nervous by the way he was sucking in that potent smoke and blinking his eyes. I shook my head when he tried to pass the joint to me. I had not indulged myself with drugs in months. I had no desire to do it again anytime soon, if at all. Even though the only time I ever smoked that shit was in the privacy of my own home, and only in the presence of Pee Wee, I knew it was something I didn’t need in my life, and I would never smoke another joint again unless it was for medicinal purposes. I had seen it destroy too many people. And now it was about to destroy Jade. I shook that thought out of my mind.

  “I was told that that baby looks just like you,” I said again, fanning smoke out of my face. I was glad that I had placed fresh room deodorizers in several locations in each room, even the kitchen. No matter how strong that smoke was, the deodorizers took care of it. So far, my nosy parents and my inquisitive daughter had never suspected that I condoned anybody I knew doing anything “illegal” in my house. I wanted to keep the deep dark secrets that I harbored to myself for as long as I could.

  “People think Lizzie’s baby looks like me? Shit! I don’t see how! Annette, if this is goin’ to keep comin’ between us, we don’t need to even try to be friends no more! I’m tired of goin’ back and forth with you on this! I told you what my doctor said. I told you I didn’t fuck Lizzie after we broke up.” Pee Wee rose off the couch, his legs trembling like the hooves on a clumsy ox. “I’ll set up a blood test if that’s the only way I can prove to you that that baby is not mine.”

  “You don’t have to have a blood test done for me. Don’t you want to know for sure?”

  “I know for sure. But if a blood test will satisfy you, when I get it done and show you the results, maybe we can move forward.”

  “Maybe you should go on and have the test done—I don’t know—I don’t care!” I wailed.

  Pee Wee took out his car keys. “I’m sorry I ruined your evenin’ and I promise it won’t happen again. I came ov
er here to invite you to that bed and breakfast in Cleveland that me and you and Rhoda and Otis like so much. I thought it would be nice for us to get away from it all and just relax for a change ... the way we used to.” Even though the news about Lizzie giving birth was now the biggest thorn in my side, his sudden invitation softened my heart. If I ever needed to “get away from it all” and relax, it was now. “With Rhoda gone for a while, I thought it would be nice for you and me to spend some time alone.” He started to move toward the door.

  My heart began to beat faster and my pulse rate accelerated. I had been, and would probably always be, a fool on some level. But I was still human. And like every other human being sharing this imperfect planet with me, all I really wanted in life was to be happy—at least as often and for as long as I could. “Pee Wee, you don’t have to leave,” I bleated. “I wish you would stay and keep me company.”

  “What for? So you can eat on my black ass about that baby?” He waved his hands. “What do you want from me, Annette?”

  “Why don’t you sit back down and have another drink,” I suggested, waving him back to the couch. “With Rhoda out of town and Lillimae working late nights with Muh’Dear at the restaurant, I am feeling kind of lonely these days. Let’s be a little nicer to each other,” I suggested.

  Dragging his feet like they were bowling balls, he returned to the couch and put his keys back in his pants pocket, mumbling gibberish under his breath.

  “I am tryin’ to be nice. I try to be nice every time I see you or talk to you. You are the one that won’t let up on this baby mess,” he said in a firm voice. I could see that he was trying to contain his anger, so I decided that I was going to be a little nicer.

  “I hope that Lizzie’s baby is healthy,” I offered.

  “I am goin’ to get that blood test done, no matter what. And I will give you a copy and I want you to frame it. Just promise me you won’t bring this shit up ever again,” Pee Wee told me, slamming his fist on the coffee table.

  I chose to ignore that. I was going to “be nice” for as long as I could.

  “I don’t want to talk about Lizzie and her baby anymore. I have other things on my mind tonight,” Pee Wee added.

  I nodded. “I have other things on my mind too,” I said gently.

  We gave one another a nervous look. He shrugged first; then I did the same thing.

  Then we both laughed.

  “Oh, well.” Within seconds he seemed like the upbeat, jovial man I had known most of my life. “Got any good gossip?” When we were teenagers, back when we all thought that Pee Wee was gay, he was the best source of gossip in town. He had changed drastically over the years. He obviously was not gay, and he no longer spewed gossip the way he used to. To hear him ask if I knew any good gossip now made me nostalgic. The news that I had to share was somewhat dreary, but it had to be discussed sooner or later.

  I decided to steer the conversation back in its original direction, which was more neutral. Not that it was a more pleasant subject, but at least it was one that was not as upsetting as Lizzie. I glanced at the floor first. Then I looked him in the eyes again. “Uh, I think our girl Rhoda is going off the deep end.”

  “Oh? In what way? I know she’s been beside herself about Jade. But I think it’s a good idea for her to go to Jamaica at the same time Jade is goin’ to be down there for Poppy’s last days. I have a feelin’ that them both bein’ in the same place at the same time might make a big difference in their relationship.”

  “I have a feeling it will too,” I muttered, offering a mysterious smile.

  Pee Wee smiled back. As a matter of fact, he licked his bottom lip and gave me a look that I had not seen since our wedding day. “Girl, I ain’t told you lately, but you are still the sexiest full-figured woman I ever laid eyes on... .”

  CHAPTER 56

  THE DAY AFTER PEE WEE’S VISIT, HE CALLED ME UP ON MY CELL phone. It was almost midnight, but I was happy to hear his voice again so soon. We had made love for hours the night before. And during that time, I had felt so good that I didn’t even think about all of the pain we had caused one another in the last couple of years.

  I had taken a long bubble bath and slid into my nightgown around ten. Charlotte was in bed with cramps. She had never had them before, but for some reason they’d attacked her this evening with a vengeance. She even refused to help me eat her favorite Chinese takeout items that I’d picked up on my way home from work.

  Lillimae was in her room talking on her cell phone to her husband. He was getting more frantic by the day for her to come back to him. She had just come home from The Buttercup after helping Muh’Dear with another affair for some important clients. This time it was a wedding reception for Muh’Dear’s banker’s daughter.

  “I’ve been tryin’ to get in touch with you,” Pee Wee said, sounding frantic and almost out of breath. “Your cell phone and your landline went straight to voice mail every time I called this evenin’. I’m glad you finally picked up.”

  “What’s up?” I asked, sitting up on my living room couch. It had been raining all day. I didn’t like to sleep in my bed when I was alone during a big storm. There was something scary to me about the way the heavy wind howled and made the branches on the trees tap and scrape against the outside of my windows. It reminded me of the hurricanes I had survived in Florida. I had planned to sleep on the couch all night.

  “I ... I heard from Otis a couple of hours ago. Poppy passed. The funeral was yesterday,” Pee Wee told me, choking on a sob. “I lost my daddy a long time ago, but I’m still hurtin’, so I know how Otis feels. Him and Rhoda need us now more than ever. Please try to be available when they call you.”

  I had been around Rhoda’s father-in-law only a few times since she married Otis, but he seemed like a really nice old man. And a wealthy old man to boot. Errol “Poppy” O’Toole and his family had once owned several orange groves in Florida, and he had left behind a considerable fortune. Not that Rhoda and Otis were hurting for money, but I knew Jade couldn’t wait to get her hands on whatever Poppy left her.

  “The man’s body is not even cold yet and them folks down there are fightin’ like cats and dogs over who gets what,” Pee Wee snarled. “Otis said Jade got so drunk she fell on the old man’s death bed the day before he passed, makin’ him roll to the floor.” Pee Wee paused and sucked on his teeth. “If that wasn’t bad enough, while everybody else was still at the hospital, Jade and a couple of her greedy female cousins went to the old man’s house and took all of his wife’s jewelry. One granddaughter had the nerve to roll up in a movin’ van with four movin’ men. She had them load up half of the furniture in the house! If Otis and some of them big strappin’ male relations hadn’t stepped in, them fools would have cleaned out that whole house that Poppy lived in all these years with his wife.”

  “What? But Poppy’s wife didn’t die too. She’s still going to need everything in that house until she does!” I yelled.

  “No, but Otis said that Jade whooped and hollered loud and clear that that old lady was goin’ to go soon, too, and she didn’t want to have to come back down there again so she was takin’ the jewelry now. What a mess.”

  I could not believe my ears. I suddenly didn’t care if Jade went to jail for a crime she didn’t commit. Jail seemed to be the best place for somebody like her. She was guilty of enough things that it didn’t matter what she went to jail for! “Did you speak to Rhoda?” I asked.

  “Uh-huh. She seemed real calm about all the mess Jade’s pulled lately. Poor thing. And I don’t know why, or what she meant by it, but she said somethin’ about she wasn’t worried about Jade because she’d get what she had comin’ real soon.”

  “Karma,” I mouthed.

  “Karma? Is that one of them New Age things or somethin’ that Oprah came up with?”

  “It’s an Eastern belief that ... well, it basically means ‘what goes around comes around.’ ”

  “Well, you and me both know that’s true. Look at all the
mess we got ourselves into by givin’ in to temptation and ignorin’ our weddin’ vows. I hope Louis Baines’s dick was not worth all this turmoil to you that we tryin’ to put behind us, because that crack between Lizzie’s thighs sure wasn’t.”

  “I think we need to stay away from those two subjects for now,” I warned. I didn’t wait for Pee Wee to respond to that. “I would have gone to Montego Bay with Rhoda and Otis for the funeral, but I had some really important audits and meetings on my calendar,” I said, almost out of breath. I was having a hard time getting air in and out of my lungs. I knew that I wouldn’t breathe right again until Rhoda made it home safe and sound.

  “Annette, uh, honey, I need to tell you somethin’ before you hear it from one of them busybody nurses at the hospital... .”

  I didn’t like the tone of Pee Wee’s voice. It told me that whatever he had to tell me this time, it was going to be unpleasant, at least to me.

  My breath caught in my throat. “Please ... please don’t tell me you’ve got another medical condition. I don’t think I can stand to hear more bad news for a while,” I managed.

  “I know you just said we need to stay away from this subject, but we need to talk about it again.”

  Lizzie! The “bad news” had to be about her!

  “So you’ve got more bad news for me after all, huh?”

  “I wouldn’t exactly call this bad news, so you don’t have to worry about that.” Pee Wee coughed and muttered something unintelligible under his breath. From the tone of his voice, I knew that whatever he had to discuss with me, it was probably going to be something that I didn’t want to hear. And to me that was equal to more bad news. He began to speak slowly. “I need to come clean about somethin’. I seen Lizzie and I seen that baby. I was with her when she gave birth to her son, March seventh.” He had to cough deeply and long to clear his throat. “Uh, that was the same day as my mama’s birthday... .”