Descent

by Julie Cannon

  Her heart raced as the adrenaline she had kept at bay let loose. She forced herself to relax her grip, release the muscles in her legs, and simply enjoy the ride. The first turn was to the right. She sailed through it, rocketing over the rough terrain of the top third of the course. Her thighs absorbed the pounding of the uneven rocks bounding the bike beneath her while her upper body remained relatively smooth.

  Caroline’s torso was protected by the thick hard shell of a chest guard, her legs and arms protected from rocks and road rash if she had the misfortune to fall. Catching air over the first of two jumps, the cool mountain breeze whipped over her cheeks. Faster and faster she went, dodging rocks the size of basketballs, logs embedded in the hard dirt, and sand as soft as fresh snow. She never once lost control of her bike, her concentration, or her focus. Approaching the last turn, she remembered Shannon’s warning and braked hard going into the turn. Her Kenda tires gripped the loose dirt and she accelerated out of the sharp elbow, up and over the last obstacle before the straightway to the finish.

  She heard the cheers from the crowd, saw the sponsor signs flashing by as she pushed and pulled with her legs to cross the finish line. The crowd erupted when Caroline skidded to a stop and turned to look at her time. Her heart soared. She had beaten her own time by an astonishing five seconds. Her hands were shaking as she slid her goggles to the top of her helmet. Shannon had to beat her last run by four seconds to win and Caroline had no doubt that she could do it. Like any good competitor, she wished her a safe, albeit a much slower ride.

  Her legs were like rubber as Caroline coasted out of the finish area. She was greeted with congratulations and slaps on the back as she exited toward the post-race staging area. She kept her eyes glued to the JumboTron, a gigantic video screen specially designed to view outdoors. Caroline didn’t have to wait long for Shannon to begin her final run. As she approached the starting line, she nodded that she was ready and sprinted out of the gate.

  Caroline’s body involuntarily leaned along with Shannon as she conquered each obstacle. When Shannon jumped, she did, when she leaned back behind her saddle, Caroline did as well, and when Shannon’s back wheel slid out from under her on the last hairpin turn, her stomach dropped. Shannon lost precious seconds on that error and Caroline practically held her breath as Shannon flew cross the finish line.

  The crowd went wild and Caroline was enveloped with hugs from well-wishers. She had won the first race.

  Chapter Seven

  Shannon couldn’t make it through the throng of people congratulating Caroline on her victory so she simply headed to the TKS trailer instead. The awards ceremony would be held in about thirty minutes and she had enough time to wash off the top layer of dirt and get something to drink before she was needed on the podium.

  She didn’t think Frank would be in the trailer and breathed a sigh of relief when he wasn’t. He was probably jockeying for position behind the cameras wearing his traditional TKS shirt and ball cap. What a media whore, she thought, gulping a bottle of berry-flavored Gatorade.

  Twenty minutes later the crowd was still thick around Caroline. Shannon recognized many of the well-wishers as other riders who had not fared so well this round but could very easily be in her shoes the next. Shannon froze when she spotted the man standing next to Caroline. She had seen Steven Davis at several events, but she’d never ventured this close to him since the day he threw her out of Caroline’s room. She wanted to talk to Caroline more than she wanted to avoid her father.

  He wasn’t as imposing or frightening as she remembered, but then again she had thought he was going to kill her—or at least beat the crap out of her. His hair was more salt than pepper, his stomach carrying an extra ten pounds, but the smile on his face as he looked at his daughter said it all.

  Shannon often wondered what happened between Caroline and her father after she was unceremoniously tossed. From the way they were hugging, it was evident that their relationship had not suffered any ill effects from that moment.

  The woman standing on the other side of Caroline could be none other than her mother. The resemblance was remarkable, and Shannon knew exactly what Caroline would look like in another thirty or so years. She would be a beautiful woman.

  Shannon approached Caroline and her family not sure what to expect. She wanted to congratulate her and it was now or never. She gathered up her nerve and stepped forward. Good grief, she thought, that episode was water under the bridge. He probably didn’t even remember her. Yeah, and Christmas never fell on December twenty-fifth.

  Shannon kept her eyes on Davis as she approached. She knew the second he saw her and the instant he recognized her. Confusion, shock, disbelief, and then finally anger settled onto his face. There was no backing out now. She was no longer that frightened seventeen-year-old girl.

  “Congratulations, Caroline,” she said stepping into their circle. She held out her hand and it appeared that Caroline took it more out of habit from the dozens of times today than realizing it was from Shannon.

  Caroline’s hand was warm, the rough edges of blisters and calluses tickling Shannon’s hand. A bolt of something shot up her arm, down her throat, and settled in her midsection. Caroline’s expression changed from exuberant to pleasant.

  “Thank you.”

  “Your ride was great. One down, ten to go,” Shannon added referring to the remaining races in the championship.

  “I just focus on one at a time.” Caroline looked between Shannon and her father and fear and uncertainty clouded her eyes. It was obvious that she didn’t know what to do with the two of them standing so close to each other.

  “Mr. Davis, I’m Shannon Roberts.” Shannon thought it would be stupid to add, “I’m sure you remember me,” or “I was a friend of your daughter’s in high school,” or better yet, “I’m the one you caught with her hand down your daughter’s shorts.” She extended her hand.

  Davis paused before taking it and shaking it firmly. “Yes, I remember.” He hesitated again as if deciding to be polite or kick her butt. “Excellent ride this weekend.”

  Shannon thought the entire world could hear her sigh of relief. “Thank you, sir, but Caroline was better. You must be very proud of her.”

  Davis visibly relaxed a bit. “Yes, we are. We’ve always been proud of her.” Shannon noticed he didn’t add “no matter what” to the end of his statement.

  Shannon started to back away. “Well, I don’t mean to intrude. I just wanted to congratulate you, Caroline. See you in Mount Anne.” Shannon turned and almost ran into a photographer snapping pictures of them together. She knew that photo would be in a magazine or newspaper before too long. The headline would probably read RIVALS BURYING THE HATCHET. If it were only true.

  Caroline watched Shannon walk away and only then began to breathe again. When she realized that her father had recognized Shannon immediately, she felt like a deer caught in the headlights. She didn’t know whether to introduce them or say, “Dad, you remember Shannon.” What if he didn’t? Then what? How would she follow up with that one? Shit, this was awkward.

  “Who was that, darling?”

  Her mother’s voice pierced through her confusion and Caroline shot a questioning look at her father. As far as she knew, he had never told her mother what he walked in on that day. After Shannon had left her room she expected him to shout or scream at her, maybe even yank her out of school. But he did none of those.

  Steven Davis was a calm man and that was what scared Caroline the most after the door closed behind Shannon. Dean Phillips started to apologize, but he silenced her with a look and a shake of his head, effectively dismissing her. Caroline wanted nothing more than to disappear between the seams in the plush carpet. She was humiliated, mortified. She knew this was the time to keep her mouth shut. At least until he cooled off. After several minutes of pacing back and forth in the small room he finally spoke.

  “How long has this been going on?” His voice was terrifyingly quiet.

  “We me
t last summer.” She smartly left out the part about how they had met.

  “I see. Who approached who?”

  Caroline knew he was asking if she was lured into what he had just witnessed.

  “I did,” Caroline said. It was a small white lie because she had noticed Shannon well before Shannon noticed her.

  “I see,” he repeated.

  “Daddy—” she said. He held up his hand and stopped her from continuing.

  “I’m asking the questions here,” he said. “Is she the first…the only…” He struggled to find the right words.

  Caroline knew what he was getting at. Was this a phase, an experiment, or the real thing? She risked his ire trying to ease his misery.

  “I’ve suspected for a long time. I’ve always been more interested in my girl friends than boys. I did this, Dad, not the other way around. I knew what I was doing.” The this she was referring to was deciding to accept she was a lesbian versus being lured or forced into it.

  “I see,” he said for the third time. It was what he always said when he didn’t know what to say.

  “Do you, Dad? I’m sorry this is how you had to find out. I never meant it to be like this. I was going to tell you and Mom in a few years once I was away from here. I didn’t want you thinking I became a lesbian because of MHA.” He cringed when she said the word “lesbian.” She stepped closer to him.

  “Daddy, I know how much you sacrificed so that I could come here. This is a great place, for a school of course. But MHA did not make me a lesbian. Being around girls all the time does not make you a lesbian any more than being on a football team makes you gay. I have always been this way. MHA just gave me the confidence to be who I am. To take charge of my life. To be responsible for my actions. That’s who I’ve become. I’m still your daughter and I love you, Daddy, regardless of who I’m attracted to.”

  He lowered his head and Caroline didn’t know if he was corralling his anger or getting ready to release it. Her knees were shaking and she felt like she needed to throw up. Finally, after several agonizing minutes, he turned to her.

  “This afternoon will remain between you and me. If you decide this is the way you want to live your life you can tell me and your mother together. I’ll act appropriately surprised and we’ll go from there.”

  “But where do we go from here, Daddy?” Caroline had a special relationship with her father, one that she knew had drastically changed the minute he walked into her room.

  “You were partially right, Caroline. MHA gave you the confidence to be who you are. To take charge of your life. To be responsible for your actions. That’s who you are, but your mother and I played a part in it as well. You are my daughter, no matter what, and I will always love you, but I’d be lying if I said I know what to do. Give me time, Caroline, and I ask that you give your mother time when you tell her. This has come as quite a shock, as you can imagine, and it will take time to process.”

  It had taken time for her parents to recover from the shock but once they did, they were fully supportive of her. It was even more evident that they were by her side now, at the finish of her major comeback race. Her mother repeated her question. “Someone I knew at MHA.” Her mother had never met Shannon while they were both students at MHA and as far as Caroline knew, she still knew nothing about the circumstances when her father had met Shannon.

  “What a coincidence, and she’s a rider too. That’s wonderful, Caroline. Someone you can reminisce with. You two have so much in common.”

  Caroline exchanged glances with her father. Her mother was sometimes absolutely clueless.

  Chapter Eight

  “CD!” Caroline heard the familiar voice before she saw the owner. Searching the crowd passing through the door from customs, Caroline finally saw a hand waving frantically in the air. Attached to it was Fran.

  She jostled through the people waiting for their arrivals and was quickly enveloped in a bear hug that practically squeezed the breath out of her.

  “Good grief, Fran. It’s not like you haven’t seen me in years.” Caroline pried herself out of her grasp. “It’s only been a week.”

  “Sure, but we’re on a totally different continent.” That was Fran’s way of thinking and Caroline understood it perfectly. Fran was staying with Caroline and would be able to watch the second stage of the championships. That is, if Caroline made it that far.

  Having flown into Inverness, they had an hour-long drive to Mount Anne, one of the largest towns in the highlands of Scotland, for the second race. They chatted nonstop from the airport to Caroline’s hotel, and by the time Fran’s luggage was out of the car, they had caught up on just about everything.

  It was just after noon and having slept on the plane, Fran was ready to see the sights. Caroline had arrived four days earlier and was settled into the routine, the time zone, and the food. They strolled through the main shopping area in Mount Anne before returning to the hotel and crashing in the lounge.

  After their drinks were served and their appetizers devoured Fran said, “So tell me about the race.” Next to her parents and siblings, Fran was her biggest fan.

  “Well, the World Cup is the biggest mountain bike event in Scotland. The course is about three miles long and is one of the most difficult terrains in the series. It draws about twenty-five thousand spectators and ten times that many watch it on TV.”

  “Ooo, you’d better look good, girl,” Fran said poking her in the side. “No, wait, you’re the one that’s camera shy; it’s Shannon Roberts that always looks good on camera.”

  Caroline had been trying to forget Shannon was in the same small town this week, but having already seen her several times walking around on the event grounds, she had finally given up.

  “I’ll bet she looks better from any angle.” Fran raised her eyebrows.

  “Is there something you need to tell me, Fran?”

  “What? Oh God no. Sorry, no offense.”

  “None taken.”

  “It’s just that she’s a knockout. Anyone with two eyes can see that. She sits on your side of the bench. I’m surprised you haven’t said anything about her.”

  The shift in the conversation to Shannon made Caroline uncomfortable. “What do you mean?”

  “Come on, Caroline, you might be out of practice, but you certainly aren’t dead. You must have noticed how she fills out those spandex shorts.”

  “They’re Lycra.”

  “Lycra, spandex, Saran Wrap, who cares? Well, the Saran Wrap might be interesting. Anyway, the point is that there is nothing left to the imagination when she’s wearing those, except what she tastes like.”

  “Fran!” Caroline choked on her cocktail, drawing the attention of several patrons in the lounge.

  “Don’t Fran me, Caroline. I know damn good and well you lezzies talk about girls the same way guys do and the same way we straight chicks talk about guys. Don’t look at me that way.”

  Caroline wasn’t sure just how she was looking at Fran.

  “How many riders on the circuit are queer?” Fran only used the term in the most affectionate way.

  “How should I know? I don’t go around and ask to see their sexual orientation card.” Caroline signaled the waiter for another drink.

  “Jeez, CD, I’ve been hanging around you long enough that even I can tell who’s queer and who’s not. And Shannon Roberts is definitely one of yours.”

  “She was once.” Caroline let her statement hang in the air like a berry ripe for the picking.

  “What? When? How long? Was she as good as she looks?” She rattled off questions in rapid fire.

  “Yep, in high school, about ten months, and absolutely.”

  “Holy shit, tell me more. Tell me everything, and I mean everything.” Fran was sitting on the edge of her chair in anticipation.

  She and Fran hung out together as much as their schedules allowed, shared practically everything with each other including celebrating new love and wiping the tears of old love. But Caroline had ne
ver told her about Shannon. The memories were too painful. But after seeing Shannon again, talking to her, Caroline needed someone to help her sort it all out.

  She relayed the story from the first time she saw Shannon in freshman English, to the first time they had sex. Funny how she didn’t consider it making love. They were teenagers, and teenagers didn’t make love, they had sex. And lots of it. She ended with the scene in her dorm room.

  “Holy shit,” Fran so eloquently summarized, collapsing back in her chair.

  “I’ll say.” Caroline filled her in on her meeting Shannon at their first race.

  “And you haven’t spoken to her in all that time until last week in Canada?”

  “No. It’s a small circuit and we’d see each other at practically every race, but she kept her distance and I kept mine.”

  “So what happened in Canada?”

  That was the question Caroline kept asking herself. What had made Shannon finally say something to her? “I don’t know. She came out of nowhere straight toward me. She had to track me down. It wasn’t as if we literally ran into each other in the ladies room. She just started talking to me and then when she congratulated me when my father was standing next to me, I thought I was going to die.”

  “Double holy shit.”

  “And we’re in the same hotel.” Caroline held up her hand. “Don’t say it.”

  “I don’t know what to say. First you tell me you had sex with the hottest thing in bike shorts, then you tell me your father caught you in the act, then she speaks to you for the first time in almost ten years, and now she’s in your hotel. Have I got all that right?”

  “That’s about it.”

  “Are you sure? You’re not going to tell me you have a love child you’ve kept hidden away all these years are you? I don’t think my heart or my clit can take any more.”

  They both laughed, releasing some of the tension in Caroline’s stomach. “No, the love child is safely tucked away for a few more years.”