Gearing Up

by Daniel Schinhofen

  “Fair enough,” Becky chuckled. “We did try to play nice, and now we’re going to kill them all and take their shit.”

  “We might be murder hobos,” Alvin snorted.

  Passing the two trucks that had gotten bogged down in the sand, Becky was a little puzzled. “How come we didn’t get stuck in the sand after the collision?”

  “Creative use of game mechanics,” Alvin snickered. “The Impervious rune makes it so the item it’s attached to ignores environmental issues. I would say getting your wheels bogged down in dunes counts.”

  Becky laughed. “You are trying to break the game.”

  “Fuckers chastised Jarvis, even after we keep getting attacked by dragons,” Alvin said. “They deserve a little pain in return.”

  “You’re only going to piss them off more,” Becky pointed out.

  “What are they going to do, throw more dragons at me? At some point, the people watching will start complaining about the bullshit they keep throwing at us. The point is for people to watch, and keep watching. Hard to keep them doing that if the devs are just fucking with the MC they want to watch.”

  “Fair enough,” Becky said as she sat up straight. “Four people on the road.”

  “Jarvis, you’re up,” Alvin said as he watched the four people suddenly scramble off toward the sand.

  Closing faster than the people could run, the sound of the M240B firing began echoing across the lake. First one, then two of the runners, went down in a spray of blood. The other two dove to the ground, and Alvin turned the Humvee towards them.

  Gunshots rang out, followed by the sounds of them bouncing harmlessly off the armor. “This little piggy should have stayed home,” Alvin snickered as he drove the Humvee over one of the people shooting at them.

  Another small burst of fire from the M240B preceded Jarvis’ voice. “That is all four dead, sir, and you’ve lost more XP.”

  “The Humvee did more than he had health,” Alvin chuckled. “Good to know.” Glancing at Becky as he parked the vehicle on the sand, Alvin grinned. “You want the first two or the last two?”

  “I’ll grab these two, you can get the others,” Becky said, jumping out, her boots immediately sinking a few inches into the soft sand. “Yeah, this is a cheat,” she added, looking at the Humvee sitting as if on hard packed dirt.

  Alvin chuckled as he got out and started back toward the first two that had died. “Inventive use of game mechanics,” Alvin reminded her with a laugh.

  They looted the bodies, then Alvin got the Humvee moving again. “Four more XP tokens and a blacksmithing book,” Becky said as she took the XP from two cards and Alvin took the other two. “Let’s see. Four humans dead, which might have meant negative four-hundred XP, but Jarvis killed three, and you only killed one, so it turned out to only be a hundred XP deficit. Once you take into account the three thousand, five hundred forty XP from the four XP tokens, the penalty for killing people is laughable.”

  “That is now being looked at more carefully,” Jarvis informed them stiffly. “It seems that the idea of being ‘murder hobos’ didn’t occur to the dev team until just now.”

  “Must never have talked to a tabletop gamer, then,” Becky snorted.

  “You might wish to hurry with your current plan,” Jarvis said.

  “Told you they were deliberately fucking with me,” Alvin groused.

  “I’m passing your complaint on to a higher authority,” Jarvis told them. “Also, the dragon just turned around. The Mustang did get hit twice with flame, but took minimal damage, considering.”

  “Let’s not dally, then,” Alvin said as he got them moving at the other trucks further back. “Jarvis, head toward some place where we can switch up vehicles on the way to Cali.”

  “Right away, sir,” Jarvis replied.

  The other trucks still had people near them, who were waiting for the Humvee to come back. Not that it did them much good, with Jarvis manning the gun. They quickly looted the other ten people and headed back to the base.

  “You know,” Becky said as she used the last of the five XP tokens she’d looted, “the easy solution is to not have these drop off everyone.”

  “Right?” Alvin chuckled. “I wonder how many people are left at the base?”

  “We’ll find out,” Becky said as she looked at the two other items they had looted from the bodies. “Mysterious Orb? Jarvis any info on this thing?”

  “You should ask a Shaman about that item, miss,” Jarvis replied.

  “Shaman, like Native American Shaman?” Becky asked, putting it in her bag.

  “That would be a valid guess, miss.”

  “What about this Partial Engineering Schematic?”

  “A skilled technician could probably use it, if another part or three was found,” Jarvis said.

  “Something else to keep for later,” Becky said, stuffing it into her bag. “Hmm, my backpack can’t hold much more miscellaneous shit. Need to unload it into the Mustang. We can unload a lot of the stuff from the Mustang into this beauty, though—that will free up more space in Ruffian.”

  “Yeah,” Alvin said as he watched the surroundings. “I see some bodies still on the ground, maybe they all came after us?” He pointed at the two dead bodies just inside the gates of the base.

  “Or they could be waiting to ambush us,” Becky suggested.

  “Fair, but we have a dragon coming back this way, so we’ll have to risk it.”

  “Should we stop here first, or at the others further in where I first began to return fire?” Becky asked.

  “Here first, then we’ll go further in.”

  “Okay,” Becky said as she put her Tommy away and brought out her MP5, which was lighter to carry.

  The caution was unneeded as no one jumped out to ambush them, and they found and looted the other eight bodies. Splitting the XP tokens again, both were disappointed at the lack of other items.

  “Well, time to get on the road again,” Alvin said as he drove back onto the main road. “Jarvis, directions please.”

  “Head south, sir. I’ll detour you around Hawthorne and onto State Route 359 for the first part of your journey.”

  Chapter Twenty-two

  The detour around the burnt remnants of Hawthorne didn’t take them far out of the way, but it showed that nothing was living in the area. A couple of miles south of town, Jarvis directed Alvin toward Lucky Boy Pass.

  “Why is it called Lucky Boy Pass?” Becky asked.

  “Lucky Boy was a small town, founded when silver was discovered in the area around 1907,” Jarvis informed her. “It dried up when the mining did, so now this pass is just one of the ways over the Sierra Nevada mountains.”

  Alvin looked at a sign declaring that the Lucky Boy Ranch was only a mile ahead. When he got close, all they could see were the burnt husks of the buildings that had been there, besides a hundred or so mutated cattle that walked the area, grazing.

  “Still can’t get over the desert being cattle country,” Alvin muttered.

  “Sir,” Jarvis said after a few minutes of silence, “I regret to inform you the soonest we will be able to meet is in Bridgeport, California.”

  “No other roads connecting the two of us?” Alvin asked.

  “I’m afraid not, not without getting closer to the dragon than is advisable.”

  “Anything else we need to know?”

  “David left a message for miss on a kiosk, when you next get to one. It isn’t urgent,” Jarvis hastened to add. “I would give you the message here, miss, but I can only read sir’s messages to him if asked.”

  “Probably just wants to see how I’m doing,” Becky said, brushing her hair back.

  “Probably,” Alvin agreed. “Maybe he wants to tell you he proposed to Bridgett.”

  Becky snorted, “I doubt he’s grown a set that fast.”

  Alvin chuckled as the road began to climb into the hills, twisting as it went. “You’re so nice to your younger brother.”

  Becky’s lips
twitched in a mostly-suppressed smile. “He is... special. We always told him that when the short bus showed up.”

  “Damn, that’s harsh. He isn’t even here to defend himself,” Alvin winced. “Besides, if you’re his twin, then didn’t you also—”

  “Choose those next words carefully,” Becky said, her eyes full of mischief as she cut off his sentence.

  “You also,” Alvin continued from where he had been interrupted, “ride that same bus?”

  “Asshole,” Becky snorted. “You didn’t even think about changing your words, did you?”

  “Nope.”

  “Why do I put up with you?”

  “My winning personality or my amazing cock,” Alvin grinned. “Take your pick.”

  Becky sniggered, “Oh yeah, it was the way you say the silliest things and think they’re true.”

  Alvin laughed, “Fair enough, Gothy, fair enough.”

  “Besides, your dick is amazing, your personality matches mine, you’re only getting better looking, and you’ll kill for me,” Becky said as she reached over and rubbed his shoulder. “So, this time, you were right, in a way.”

  “Nutjob,” Alvin laughed as he caught her hand and gave it a squeeze before putting both hands back on the wheel. He was starting to see snow on the ground on either side of the road. It was then he really took stock of the weather, and could see dark clouds in the distance ahead of them. “Oh goody, it looks like snow.”

  “We have the tires,” Becky said.

  “True enough. Looks like we’ll get to test them again.”

  “Jarvis, is there anything we should be aware of? Hazards and the like,” Becky asked.

  “The weather is likely to include snow. On the back roads I have you traveling, that is likely to cause only minor issues. Nothing major is likely, besides wildlife thinking you are a threat.”

  “What kind of wildlife?” Becky asked.

  “Everything you’ve seen, plus mountain goats, mountain lions, and many more.”

  “Sounds like XP on the hoof or paw to me,” Becky chuckled. “I might want to shut that hatch, though, if we’re expecting snow.” She unbuckled to close the gunner’s hatch.

  “Lots of rocks on the road,” Alvin idly commented as he maneuvered the Humvee around them. “Wouldn’t think this road would be in this bad of a condition.”

  “Maybe the bighorn sheep have been knocking them down?” Becky shrugged. “I’m sure it won’t—”

  A loud crunch brought both of their eyes up along the cliff they were next to, just in time to see a torso-sized rock come tumbling down at them. Alvin didn’t bother to dodge; he knew he didn’t have time and the Humvee could take it. A resounding clang echoed inside the cabin as the rock hit and bounced off the vehicle.

  “I like rock and roll, but come on,” Becky punned.

  Alvin winced. “Oh gods, that pun hit rock bottom.”

  Both eyebrows going up, Becky stared at Alvin. “I took your non-punning ways for granite, it seems.”

  “You started me on this path, like a pebble bouncing downhill to start the rockslide,” Alvin rejoined.

  “I see that teaching you shall be a rocky path,” Becky grinned.

  “I shall snatch the pebble from your hand in time.”

  “Agate it, you want to learn, good.”

  “Shale we drop this?” Alvin asked.

  “That is such a stone-cold question to ask.”

  Alvin licked his lips, and the moment drew out before he shook his head. “I yield.”

  “As you should,” Becky giggled. “It was nice to see you try and keep up with me, though.”

  “It just—” Alvin was cut off by another rock hitting the vehicle. “It was just a momentary fancy, it might not happen again. Besides, it made you smile.”

  “You always seem to be able to do that,” Becky said. “I’ve been meaning to ask, about the other night when we just cuddled…” She trailed off, biting at her lower lip for a moment. “You didn’t mind, right?”

  “That you gave me a break to recover some of my stamina?”

  “I just... couldn’t. Not after seeing Karee flayed like that,” Becky said.

  “Did I complain?” Alvin asked.

  “No.”

  “There’s your answer then,” Alvin glanced over at her, “Besides, we had more than enough fun this morning, didn’t we?”

  Her answering smile was bright. “Not as much as we could have, but yes, it was enough to sate me.”

  “Remember when I was worried about not jumping you every chance, and if that would mean I cared for you less?” Alvin asked her. When she nodded, he continued, “I had that answer last night. Holding you and watching Firefly was enough. Just having you there was all I really needed.”

  Becky’s smile was a touch brittle. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I do,” Alvin said, reaching over to touch her cheek, “but I’m still going to ravish you plenty, here and there.”

  “Good,” catching his hand, Becky kissed it. “I know we’ll both get used to our feelings in time, but every day feels like a rollercoaster still.”

  “Well, I know you’re always going up, and down, while I’m going in loops.”

  Giggling, Becky kissed his hand again before letting it go. “I thought I was supposed to be the sex crazed one here.”

  “Maybe you’re rubbing off on me,” Alvin said as another rock slammed into the Humvee. This time, Alvin caught sight of a bighorn sheep before it vanished. “Huh. It is the sheep dropping rocks on us.”

  “How long is this pass?” Becky asked.

  “You are almost through, miss,” Jarvis said. “There is a flat spot between the mountains coming up. After that, there is a place called Nine Mile Ranch, or at least there is on the map.”

  “I wonder if they survived?” Alvin said. “If they have, they might want to move, close as the dragon is.”

  “You can find out soon, the main buildings should be just before the turn off I have you slated for,” Jarvis said.

  The hills started to open up, and Alvin grinned as he caught sight of the bighorn staring at them. “See you later, Rambo.”

  “Did you just call the sheep Rambo?” Becky snorted.

  “Yup,” Alvin chuckled. “Let’s see what we find at the ranch, shall we?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Becky replied, catching sight of a pronghorn antelope grazing on the scrub. “Home, home on the range,” Becky half-sang.

  “Sadly, no deer,” Alvin said.

  “Home, home with the insane, where the nutjobs and the crazies all stay. Where seldom is heard, a completely sane word, and the jackets all fit just the same.” Becky grinned as she sang her parody of the old song.

  “Wow, really?” Alvin laughed.

  “It works,” Becky laughed with him.

  “Nutjob,” Alvin snickered.

  “Where is my jacket, then, hmm?”

  Alvin’s eyes gleamed at her question, “Oh, just wait.”

  Becky paused, then shook her head. “I did that to myself.”

  “Yes, you did,” Alvin agreed. “I’ll be getting one now, just to put you in.”

  “Two peas in a pod,” Becky murmured happily.

  Alvin glanced at the happy smile on her lips and felt a copy of it on his. “More like two nuts in a shell.”

  Becky licked her lips. “I like nuts.”

  Rolling his eyes, Alvin drove on toward their next turn, not taking the bait that she left dangling out there. A gusty wind began to pick up as he drove, and soon heavy raindrops began to fall.

  “Well, here we go with the test of the runes.”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  The rain started coming down hard and fast, the wipers barely able to keep up with the storm. “Well, this is new,” Alvin said, letting the Humvee cruise at forty. “It was a dark and stormy… afternoon… Doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

  “What, you want to write a book about our adventures?” Becky chuckled. “Gothy
and Hero, a death tale.”

  “How come you got top billing?” Alvin asked.

  “G comes before H,” Becky replied primly. “Besides, isn’t it better when I come first?”

  Laughing, Alvin shook his head, “Fair enough, Gothy.”

  The crack of thunder was almost perfectly in sync with the flash of lightning that struck off to the side of the road ahead. Alvin took his foot off the gas as he tried to blink the after images from his eyes.