99 to Nowhere

by DOMINO

  "I can take it again somewhere else" He protested.

  "Then you'll have to start all over again. Another state and new rules" I whined. "That doesn't make any sense, and I don't want—" I exhaled. "I don't want your plan to fail because of me"

  "It won't" He closed his unfinished food. I could tell it made him lose his appetite too.

  "I know it won't because we're going back. You'll go to the library, register for the final, and take it. You'll pass and that's one thing to check off on your uhhh, plans list—" I turned to see him turning on the TV. "Alright?"

  "Can't do it now" He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.

  "Why not?"

  "They have two test days. Today was one of them and the next one is the 27th, Monday. I've exhausted most of my money, and what I do have, we need to eat and a place to stay—"

  "But I have money I stole from that lady, remember?" I rushed to sit on the bed next to him. "I can pay for our tickets back"

  "No—" He shook his head defiantly.

  "Stop having so much pride, stop being so stubborn and let me get you back in time to take that test" I insisted.

  "No—" He shook his head. "It's alright Maxx, I'll get it done, so don't worry about it" He said and moved to the back of the bed, resting his head against the headboard. "Besides, it's Christmas Eve. Let's go into town and see if they have a tree as nice as Millington's"

  I looked back at him and hated myself for letting him come with me. "No, you don't wanna go back and test for your GED, then I don't wanna see a stupid tree"

  "Check your watch" He grinned.

  "Why?" I was frustrated.

  "You're still on slave time, so get your coat, and let's go" He turned off the TV and rolled off the bed.

  My shoulders slumped. "It's cold out there"

  "That's why you got that nice down coat right here" He tossed it on the bed. "Bundle up babe—"

  I picked up my coat and smiled that he called me, babe. "Alright, but don't expect me to oooooh and awe at a bunch of stupid lights on a tree they cut down and decorated for no good reason"

  "Maxx, I'll expect you to oooooh and awe as long as you're on the clock, so let's go" He ordered and held the door open.

  I pulled my hat over my ears and shoved my hands in my mittens before he grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door.

  SEVENTEEN

  We walked into town with him catching me and laughing each time I slipped on the icy sidewalk.

  "You're not supposed to laugh, idiot" I said the last time I fell. "You're supposed to ask if I'm alright and then laugh" I chuckled and dusted snow off my butt.

  "I did, you just didn't hear me over your cursing" He chuckled when we walked into a department store. "Let's see what this store has to offer"

  I hesitated and looked overhead. "There are a lot of cameras in here" I whispered once we walked past the shoe section.

  "Half of them aren't real" He glanced up casually. "See that one over there to your left, the lights not even on, it's a scare tactic"

  I looked up inauspiciously, and realized, he was right. "Maybe, but I don't want us getting in any trouble—" Not before I get you back to take your GED finals. "Let's just ummm, window shop?"

  "Yeah right" He scoffed and leaned down to look at a few watches.

  "I'm serious Rio—" I pulled his arm before a sales associate walked over.

  "May I help you?" she asked, ignoring me.

  I could tell she set her sights on Rio. She was a pretty girl, strawberry blond hair to her shoulders, and I admired her red sweater when she leaned into the counter so her head almost touched his.

  "See something you like?"

  He looked up at her and smiled once he got a good look at her. "Yeah" He licked his lips and I rolled my eyes. "My sister here was just telling me I don't need another watch"

  I was offended he referred to me as his sister and not his girlfriend, even if I wasn't. He just wants to screw this trash. I frowned when she smiled back, delighted, at his answer.

  "He doesn't need a watch" I grumbled. "He has too many already"

  "Every man needs a nice watch, you can never have too many" She grinned at him and held her hand out. "Names Katrina"

  "Michael" He said shaking her hand. "That's my little sis, if I tell you her name, promise not to laugh" He grinned when he knew he had her full attention.

  "I promise" She giggled.

  "Meow, that's her name" He chuckled and looked back at me happily. "We call her Meme for short"

  "Nice to meet you, Meme" Katrina said, before I turned to walk away.

  I stood across from them looking at jewelry, listening to him give her compliment after compliment.

  "Are you from here? I never saw you before?" She asked curiously and continued to look him over.

  "No, we're on our way home so we stopped to rest a bit, take in the sights" He answered. He held his wrist up to admire the watch. "You’re from here I take it?"

  "Yeah, all my life" She sighed. "Too bad you don't live here; we do manage to have a bit of fun every once in a while"

  "Like what?" He leaned on the counter and stared in her eyes. "What kind of fun can a pretty woman like you get into?"

  I saw her stop and blush before she answered. She's sickening. I frowned and put a pair of earrings up to my ear.

  "For instance, I'm having a Christmas eve party tonight. I would love if you would come, oh your sister too" She added quickly when she witnessed my scowl.

  "Hey sis, you feel like a party tonight?" He smiled brightly and I wanted to slap it off his face.

  "Whatever" I replied and tried on another pair of earrings. They were pearls and I always wanted a pair, even if they weren't real.

  "Sounds like a yes to me" He said and took the watch off. "Wait; before I trudge through all that snow to get to you, do you have a boyfriend or anything?"

  "No—" She answered so quickly I thought she would bite her tongue. "Not at all, I'm looking for one though"

  "Look no further" He grinned and handed her the watch back. "Can I get your addy?"

  "Yeah sure" She began looking for a pen.

  I saw him looking at her rear when she bent over to look for a piece of paper. Scoundrel. I shook my head.

  "Oh, Mike, are you sure we can make it? Auntie M is gonna throw a fit if we don't make it to her place by Christmas?" I provided him with an annoying frown and hoped he would know I was mad.

  He gave me a knowing look, telling me to shut up, while she wrote her number down and handed him the paper. He turned back around and looked at her again before he smiled.

  "I'm positive we got the time" He winked at her. "What time?"

  "You can come over around nine or so, whatever works for you" She practically sang. "If she doesn't come, it's alright if you come alone. I'll make sure you're not bored or anything"

  "Sounds good" He replied. "I'll see you tonight"

  "Cool, see you then" She twisted the pen in her hands with excitement.

  "Oh, I'm positive we got the time" I tried to mimic in his deep voice. "What a ludicrous display of, of—stupid" I stammered, looking for a word to describe my jealousy without appearing I was. "I mean, she had on enough makeup to last a lifetime" I said once we were out of the store.

  "She looked good, damn good" He grinned and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Really good"

  "You just wanna screw her" I frowned again.

  "Why do you always think like that?" He asked.

  "Because you do and it was apparent the way you stared at her ass"

  "You were watching me?" He raised an eyebrow.

  I opened the door to another department store. “No, just glancing" I scoffed. "Not staring at you, you're so arrogant"

  "I don't act arrogant. I don't have an ego at all" He declared and followed me to the perfume counter.

  "Whatever" I replied and sprayed on some expensive perfume. "Wow, this smells grand" I held my wrist up for him to get a whiff.

  "Yeah
it does, but I'm not an egomaniac" He was still defending himself.

  "Sure, how much you wanna bet you screw her tonight?" I leaned on the counter and gave him a winning smile.

  "That's nothing to bet on—" He replied and walked away.

  "Why, because you don't want me to be right?" I tugged on his coat. "I bet you would lose just to prove me wrong. As much as you would want to sleep with her, you wouldn't, because you wouldn't want me to be right—"

  "You're crazy, you know that?" He turned to look down at me. "Never met a girl as crazy as you" He smiled and then looked around. "Look, it goes inside the mall from here, if you wanna call it a mall"

  I looked at the entrance and studied a large tree in the center. "Guess that's the town tree" I sighed. "Let's go and, oh look, Cold Stone" I grew excited. "I love that ice cream"

  "It's cold as hell out and you want ice cream?" He shook his head as I skipped happily in front of him.

  I bought a strawberry cone, since he declined, and he sat down on one of the benches by the tree to wait for me.

  "You sure you don't wanna lick?" I asked, once I had it in my hands and had a seat next to him.

  "No thanks—"

  "Are you sure? I thought all men lick" I giggled that I made a nasty joke and he laughed. "Hey, look, there's Santa. You think I can sit on his lap and ask for a home?"

  His eyes twinkled before he nodded deviously. "I dare you"

  "Oh yeah—" I jumped up and fixed my hair before I stood in line.

  Licking my cone ,I glanced back to see Katrina sitting down next to him.

  Humph, bitch must be on lunch break.

  I turned back around when it was my turn and noticed Santa slapping his thigh. It made me pause, remembering how an old foster dad would do that same thing, just so he could get a hard on. I glanced back at Rio to see him caught up in a conversation before I sat down on his lap.

  "Ho ho hoooo" He tried hard to shake his fake belly. "What can I get you for Christmas pretty lady?"

  I licked on my cone and stared in his eyes. "A home, a family—" I glanced back at Rio and he was still talking to Katrina. "And someone to love me, really love me" I looked back into his shocked eyes. "Can you get me that Santa? Can you get me out of the system and find me a home, with a loving mommy and daddy? A mommy and daddy that won't beat me and molest me—" I could feel my ice cream dripping down my fingers as I stared into his wide eyes. "Well, can you?"

  "How old are you?" He whispered. His chipper Santa attitude suddenly flew out the window.

  "Sixteen and I'll be seventeen soon, with no family, or friends, or crap, not even a birth certificate. So, can you help me?" I felt angered that I confessed something to a stranger, but didn't care as all of my hopes of having a Christmas over the years flashed before me.

  He swallowed and cleared his throat. "I would love to give you those things, but—"

  "But you can't" I interrupted. "You can't because Santa doesn't exist and it's just a bunch of bullshit to get people to pay for over priced merchandise and beg for forgiveness. Forgiveness for all the fucked up shit they did the entire year. Hoping—hoping, that a wrapped gift with a bow will wipe the slate clean—" I looked down at him and nodded. "Right Santa?"

  "Look, this is for the kids—" He began.

  "You can't give me what I want because you don't exist!" I snapped loudly. "You're a hyped up piece of shit that makes little kids tell you what they want and pray their parents buy it all! You're a fake!" I stood up and looked down at all the little kids in the line. "He's not real! He doesn't exist, just ask your parents for what you want and be glad you got some!" I shouted before Rio ran over to hush me up.

  "Maxx come on, you're causing a scene—" He whispered and held his hand out to me.

  "No, they deserve to know. These kids deserve to know the truth" I snatched my hand away. "There is no Santa Claus. There is no tooth fairy, and your so called God is still in question!" I yelled before he stepped up on the platform and snatched me away.

  Parents covered their children's ears and glared at me when security came walking toward us.

  "Merry fucking Christmas!" I yelled as Rio pulled me away. "Merry merry bullshit Christmas!" I smiled and shoved my cone onto a fake deer's horn when I passed.

  "Shut up and come on!" He looked enraged and dragged me out. "What the hell are you trying to do? Get us locked up here?" I looked down at my boots. "I was joking before, but you really are crazy, aren't you?"

  He shook me by my shoulders so I would look at him.

  "What the hell happened up there?"

  "Nothing, he's just a fake and I hate all of the hoopla" I pouted, as I sat down on the bench outside of the small strip mall.

  "It's kind of easy for us to hate it, but you don't have to ruin it for kids that can have one" He whispered angrily. "We've had messed up Christmases, but don't take it away from them"

  He sighed deeply, shoved his hands in his pockets, and sat down next to me.

  "I was just mad is all, but you're right, I should go in and apologize"

  "Hell no" He put his arm out to stop me from standing. "I'm sure their parents will make it right—"

  I pouted and we sat in silence, listening to the Christmas songs played by the buried speakers along the walkway.

  "I just get mad—" I said, breaking the silence between us.

  "Jealous you mean" He looked at me and rubbed his nose. "Jealous that we don't have parents, or a home, or gifts to unwrap?"

  I felt tears begin to fill my eyes. I looked up into the light falling snow so they wouldn't fall. "I guess"

  "We'll both have a Christmas one day Maxx, both of us will have so many gifts we won't know where to start" He nodded confidently.

  I shook my head and smiled when he put his arm around my shoulder. "How do you stay so positive?"

  "Because, I've learned being negative doesn't change a thing, we would still be sitting in the same spot and be the same people—" He stood up. “Let's go"

  "Where?"

  "Just come on" He urged and pulled me off the bench.

  We walked a few blocks and he stopped in front of a church. "What's up with you and churches?" I asked when he held the door open.

  "Let's just, watch a few plays and listen to the choir sing Christmas songs, just for a bit" He replied and pulled me in behind him.

  We took a seat on the last pew, but had a perfect view of the choir as we got comfortable and listened to the Christmas carol, Little Drummer Boy. I bit my lip when I listened to the pastor tell a story of a child in a manger, and listened intently, captivated by it all. I picked up his hand and held it tight. The message the pastor gave was about hope and I didn't want to miss a word.

  EIGHTEEN

  "I enjoyed it" I grinned.

  We walked out of the church, only to be stopped by a member, asking us to come back for a Christmas dinner they give every year. We happily accepted.

  "Thanks, we'll be back" Rio smiled and took my hand.

  We sauntered down the road back to the motel and when I realized he was still holding my and I looked down at it. He noticed my expression and let it go immediately.

  “Sorry"

  "It's alright" I smiled and shoved my hand into my pocket. "Well, dinners at eight o'clock"

  "Yeah, we can eat there and then go to Katrina's" He replied

  "Seriously?" I kicked at a pile of snow. "You really wanna go?"

  "Yeah, why not? Not as if we got somewhere to go"

  I felt my good mood diminishing quickly and our motel came into view. "I'm not going"

  "Why the hell not?" He looked down at me. "You act as if she's done something to you"

  "You're acting as if you've known her forever" I countered.

  He shook his head as he stopped to put the key in the door. "You got issues" He opened the door for me to enter.

  "You got a hard on" I snapped back. "We don't know those people Rio. How do we know that her dad isn't a cop or something?" I didn't want him
to go, with or without me.

  "You're being paranoid" He sighed and took off his boots. "Look, I'm gonna take a shower and relax until we go to dinner. I'll think about it"

  I stood by the window and bit my lip as I heard him taking off his clothes. I didn't turn around until I heard the shower come on.