Shattered Heart

by Ann Stewart

  SHATTERED HEART

  by

  Ann Stewart and Stephanie Nash

  Copyright © 2014 Ann Stewart and Stephanie Nash

  All Rights Reserved

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events, or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination or are used factiously. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes. If you are reading this book and you have not purchased it or won it in an author/publisher contest, this book has been pirated. Please delete and support the author by purchasing the e-book from one of its many distributors.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR’S

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  PROLOGUE

  Saturday, November 3, 2012

  I’m sorry.

  Two words left on hotel stationary. That’s what I’m leaving him with; two overwhelmingly devastating words. My hands shake causing me to drop the hotel branded pen on top of the notepad. I know he deserves more, so much more, and before you judge, I’m also quite aware how cruel it is for me to jump back into his life.

  But, I had to know.

  From the corner of the cedar wood desk, I glance over at the plush bed where my heart sleeps soundly. My heavy eyes run over the curvature of his naked body; down his back to his firm, tight ass, landing on his muscular thighs. Catching my bottom lip in between my teeth, I fight the urge to crawl back into bed with him, to nuzzle against him and forget everything that has kept me away all of these weeks. All I want is to breathe him in and feel him inside me, one last time. To feel his embrace and know I’m safe when I’m in his arms. To feel his breath against my skin as he murmurs he loves me over and over again.

  But, that would never be enough. If I stay, it will ruin us both.

  I never meant for this trip to be any kind of rekindling of our broken relationship. My intentions were pure. Ensure his safety, to know that the one person I’ve given my heart to was still alive and out of harm’s way, and then leave. Mission accomplished.

  So, why is this so hard?

  With an already shattered heart, I sigh and tiptoe around the hotel suite in search of my shoes. Luckily they aren’t hard to find, and as I lean down to slip on my sandals, I take one last look at him. I know this will crush him; I never meant to give false hopes. I just had to know. Who are you kidding, Ely? What did you think would happen when you found him?

  With tears silently streaming down my face, I walk over and place one final kiss on his slumbering temple. Alex stirs as a lone tear falls against his cheek, but doesn’t wake. With my final gesture of love, I quietly exit the door and rush towards the elevators and through the lobby of the hotel.

  I know what I must look like; a psycho, crying hysterically, rushing through the empty lobby at three o’clock in the morning. Given my state, I’m not surprised when the bellman flags a cab for me the moment he lays eyes on my grief stricken face. With a look of sympathy, he rushes to the cab to open the door for me.

  My heart jumps in my chest, threatening to break through, as a commotion is heard coming from the lobby. I can hear my name being cried out and instantly I know it’s him. I’d know that voice anywhere, deep and melodious, yet completely encased in panic. Selfishly refusing to turn around, I pull my overnight bag to my chest and quickly get into the cab, slamming the door shut.

  “JFK please.” The cab driver nods at my desperation. The masochist that I am, I careen my head towards the lobby and see Alex running towards me barefoot, half naked with only his slate grey slacks on. “Please hurry,” I urge the driver.

  “Miss, I can’t drive through these cars,” he explains, pointing to the numerous stalled cabs in front of us. Damn New York traffic. As Alex approaches, I tremble in terror and immediately lock the doors, jumping when his hand slams against the glass, frantically trying to pry the door open.

  “Elyssa, what are you doing?!” His brows are furrowed, worriedly pulling on the door handle. “Open the fucking door, Elyssa. Don’t do this.” Alex slams his hands against the glass. With his gaze on me, the knowing look of desolation in his eyes, I’m frantic with worry that he might actually break the window with how hard he’s pounding. I’m not worried about the cab driver, or even the window, but for what it would do to Alex. He will get hurt and it will be my fault. Like everything. Oh shut it, Ely. What’s a slice on his hand when you’ve already slivered his heart?

  “A friend of yours?” the driver jokes, peeking over his left shoulder as he attempts to merge into the next lane.

  I’m not sure if anything would deter Alex, who’s now jogging alongside the cab, pulling at the door handle, eyes never leaving my face. I can’t bear to look at him, but can see him out of the corner of my eye. I see his desperation. I’m weak and right now, I can’t be weak. I need to be strong. For him. For Nana. I need distance to get my head on straight.

  “Elyssa…please…look at me,” he urges, while he jogs along with the moving cab. “You love me. I know you do. Don’t fucking do this! Whatever’s going on, we can fix it.” The cab driver starts to accelerate, but Alex keeps up. I close my eyes and remain still, tears streaming down my face. I can only imagine the pain he must be experiencing; the hard cement against his feet as he runs in unison with the cab, the coldness of the frigid air on his bare chest. A loud thump jolts my eyes open.

  “He’s fucking hitting my car.” The driver pulls out his phone. “I’m calling the cops.”

  “Please don’t. Just go faster,” I beg of him.

  In a moment of weakness I turn to look at Alex. Tears streaming down his face, he slams his hand against the window one last time. “Please don’t do this to me again. I fucking love you.” I love you, too. I clutch my overnight bag against my chest hoping to ease the ache that resonates inside.

  Putting his phone away, the driver checks his rearview mirror, changes lanes and speeds away. I risk a glance behind and see Alex hunched over, out of breath in the middle of the street. I did that. I not only broke him, but I humiliated him at three o’clock in the morning in the middle of New York City.

  Good Job, Ely!

  CHAPTER 1

  Wednesday, November 14, 2012

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” His thumb brushes across my cheek while I sit stock still, facing forward in his Mustang.

  I know what he’s referring to. I haven’t been in the mood to do anything for weeks, let alone up for going to a movie tonight, but he insisted. He practically threatened to have me committed if I didn’t attempt to get out more. For the past few weeks, since Alex left, I’ve tried to fill the gaps of my life with either work or Oliver. We’re not dating, but Oliver being his persistent self flirts heavily and sometimes he’s hard to resist. But, I do.

  I glance over his rugged features. His five o’clock shadow,
highlighted by bits of light from the lamp that hangs above the parking stall in front of my apartment, makes him look even rougher around the edges. Oliver. The type of man who colors outside the defined lines of life; always pushing me to move faster, asking me for more than what I’m willing to give. But I’m stuck, and pushing back is all I’ve got left, and where I’ve stayed. It’s not fair, but neither is life and I’m tired. No, not tired; I’m exhausted.

  “Just tired is all, but I needed this. Thanks for insisting, I really enjoyed the movie.” Not a lie, but not entirely the truth. Not that I can remember what happened during the hour and fifty minute long commercial for how the government hides themselves in plain sight. Interesting maybe, since it was a true story, but it didn’t really catch my attention. Something my life, which has been directly affected by our bitch of a CEO, Arianna Salerno, coincides with.

  I’ve worked for her at Salerno Health for two months now and although I expected my career to flourish, I never expected the events that transpired after I started. Not only has she been callous towards me, she’s been working me to the bone day and night with multiple projects that she insists I work on alone. Not that I can’t handle the work load, but when you couple that with my deep depression; I guess you could say that I’m mentally and physically depleted.

  “Well, if you’re that tired, I could come in and read you a bed time story.” His brows bounce with each word, making me giggle. I sigh and shake my head, ringlets of brown brushing against my face. When I look into his eyes, I briefly see a hint of disappointment before he quickly shakes it off and mutters, “Hey, a guy has to try, right?”

  “Of course you do,” I reluctantly smile at him. At least he’s consistent.

  “So, I get you’re tired, but I know you better than you think I do. There’s something else you’re hiding. Ever since you’ve been back from visiting your friend, you’ve been off. Did something happen?” His eyes dart from left to right, searching my eyes. “Because you know if you need to talk, I’m here.”

  I know what you’re thinking. Visiting a friend? Yep, that’s me; a liar. That was the excuse I gave Oliver when I suddenly left in the middle of my work day. I had to go see a friend; a friend who happens to be my ex-boyfriend, Alex, who Oliver feels is his nemesis and competitor of my heart. Or, so he thinks.

  I had spent hours glued to news reports and constantly checking my phone for word from Alex. News coverage painted such an ominous picture. The streets were flooded, powers lines were down, and people were homeless. Hurricane Sandy. The whole city was in complete shambles and my heart was somewhere in the midst of all that turmoil.

  When I hadn’t heard anything from him, and neither had Janice, I did the only thing I could think of. I bought a ticket and flew my ass all the way to New York, which was a huge accomplishment for me considering my fear of flying. To be honest, I don’t remember the flight at all. It probably helped that I took a large dose of Benadryl as we boarded the plane, washing it down with a bit of alcohol as soon as we were seated. I know it wasn’t the brightest idea, and definitely two things I don’t condone, but either way, it got me to Alex; alive and not completely freaking out.

  I plaster a fake smile on my face because honestly, that’s all I can muster right now. Obviously, I haven’t done a great job of hiding my anxiety and pain after returning from New York. But in my defense, it’s only been a few weeks since the man I love, the man I started a secret love affair, left me in all his glory to conquer New York.

  Okay, maybe it didn’t go exactly that way; I wish it were that simple. Where do I even begin?

  Let me start off by saying that I believe I’m a very forgiving person. I want to see the good in all people. If that makes me naïve, maybe a little ignorant, I’m okay with that. Because of everything I’ve gone through, I live in the now. So when I found out about Alex’s past, his very dark past with his Dad, I looked past his issues. I did this because of what he’s overcome and what he’s made of himself now, not what happened when he was a teenager.

  But, when I found out his more recent past, one where he was a male prostitute, my heart hit the floor. And then to find out that Arianna, my pseudo mother figure, my mother’s best friend, Alex’s own boss, was his madam…well, that was just a bit too much. I know in my heart if it was only his past choices I had to contend with, I could move past it and we could work on making a future together. I loved him that much. Correction, I love him that much. But, like so much of my life where nothing comes easy, getting over his past was the least of my troubles.

  Arianna fucking Salerno. That’s what I have to contend with. When her highness found out about our relationship, she insisted…no, let me rephrase that…she demanded we quickly end things, which is how my Alex got sent to New York. Well, technically he’s not mine anymore. Technically, for her majesty’s sake, I’m spending time with Oliver now. I know it seems rash and completely against everything in my heart, but I was desperate. And no thanks to Arianna, he was there.

  “Ely, you’re spacing out again.” Oliver’s waving hand makes me blink away the painful memories.

  “It’s nothing. You know I’ve just been working a lot,” I shrug, trying to remain nonchalant even though my head feels as if it’s ready to explode. I can see by the way Oliver tilts his head that he knows I’m not being completely forthcoming. The last thing I need is for him to realize the depths of my despair. Knowing how every fraction of my heart is gone, leaving nothing to give to him. Or anyone.

  “Oh, come on now,” Oliver reaches over, taking my hand in his. He toys with the band of my mother’s ring, something I’m sure he’s seen me do often. “I work all day, too. Besides, I’m not all Debbie-downer and I have far worse problems than you do. Don’t you know that studies have shown males who don’t have active sex lives are more prone to drink, have attitudes, and develop carpal tunnel.” I roll my eyes. Really Oliver, carpal tunnel? He’s never been eloquent with words, but then again, I can appreciate his bluntness and his ability to make me smile.

  “Carpal tunnel? Have you been typing a lot lately?” I ask, teasingly.

  “Not so much,” he chuckles as realization hits me.

  “Why not just date someone, Oliver? You’re hot and lots of women fawn after you,” I feign annoyance. “Autumn was just asking about you the other day; she seems interested.” A little too interested, if you ask me. But, that’s just Autumn. Any guy in her presence is fair game and she’s not quiet about it at all.

  I know what he’s going to say. I know most women would probably jump at the chance of starting something with Oliver. He’s sweet, attractive, and uncomplicated. But because I’m still in love with Alex, my heart is just not in it. Problem is, these days Oliver is the glue who holds me together. Since Alex left, he has been the crutch I’ve leaned on when I needed strength just to get through my day. His humor, his carefree nature, just him in general; he makes me feel not so broken.

  However, I can’t just forget that I once had a heart; especially when Oliver’s making every effort to win mine. The pounding from my chest no longer exists; he took it when he left. These days I check my pulse regularly just to make sure I’m still alive. I’ve dealt with a lot of loss in my life, with losing my parents and losing my best friend, but I was not prepared to deal with the crippling experience of losing the only man I’ve ever loved.

  His eyes narrow as his head turns in my direction. “I’m where I want to be. I know you haven’t had the best of luck with men, and I’m not trying to pressure you, Ely.” Because of a night out with Janice and Autumn, Oliver knows most of my issues; including my issues with Cole. “I just want it known that I want you. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me now, but I’m not giving up.”

  My face flushes, bringing my hands to cover my anguish. Would he still want me if he knew what was going on in my head?

  “Hey, we don’t have to talk about it. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Bringing his strong calloused hand up, he brushes a
stray hair behind my ear, causing my hands to drop to my sides. His touch, although thoughtful, is just another reminder that he was sent to be my replacement Alex. “Elyssa, I wish you would just let me in, even a little bit.”

  I turn to look at him; his bright and caring eyes fixed on me. With a heavy sigh, I turn in my seat to face him, resting my back against the door. “What do you want to know?”

  He ponders for a moment. “Did Prince Charming turn out to be not so charming in the end?”

  Rolling my eyes, I bite the inside of my cheek as I scrounge up the words to describe my situation with Alex. In my heart I know we aren’t over, so a break seems like the only plausible explanation. Except admitting this to him, might backfire. “No, Oliver. We’re taking a…break.”

  “So you’re single?” His face brightens at the possibility.

  Like I said…backfire. “Easy there killer, it’s only been a few weeks. I’m not ready to start up anything else. Besides, considering I’ve been working practically twenty-four hours a day, I don’t have time for anything more than what I’m already giving.” I pause to search his emerald eyes, knowing if I don’t end things now, I’m going to regret hurting him. I can see the glimpse of defiance he’s not trying to hide.

  “Speaking of, I should go inside now. I need to get some decent sleep tonight, because I’m sure Arianna will have Maggie ask me to stay late again tomorrow night.” Arianna never does her own dirty work. Hopefully someday, Maggie will realize what she’s letting Arianna do to me, but for now, I have to take it. I will not let Arianna get the best of me. She’s already taken enough.

  “I was going to ask you about that. What’s going on with Arianna? Is it me, or did you piss in her coffee?” Thinking he’s funny, he smirks. In reality, he’s not too far off.

  Shaking my head, I try not to smile but my lips turn upward involuntarily. “You’re right, somehow I pissed her off.” I fell in love with her favorite boy toy and ruined her extracurricular activities. “Whatever I did, she’s on a rampage and her bitch storm is aimed right at me.”