Shattered Heart

by Ann Stewart

  “I’ve slept with a lot of women, but all of them were just blurry faces; warm bodies to fill a vacant bed. Just something to pass the time. She meant nothing to me and neither have all of the other countless women I’ve been with. What makes this situation with Oliver worse is that you’re not some random girl to me. He knows it and he’s pursuing you to fuck with me. That’s the difference between me and him.”

  I never understood Alex’s unease with Oliver. I can understand jealousy, but I’ve always thought that Alex takes his obsession with Oliver to a whole new level. But now, now I have a deeper outlook on the entire situation.

  I stand and walk slowly to Alex. When I get close enough, I grip the bottom of his sweater and search his beautiful blue eyes. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was taking sides.” Alex brushes the hair away from my cheeks and caresses my face, resting his forehead against mine in acceptance.

  After our silent exchange, he pulls me by the hand towards the bed. “You need to finish eating.”

  I sit and finish my burger while he turns the TV on and surfs for something to watch. We both settle in, resting against the fluffy pillows. I cross my ankles and turn my head to look at him. Laying on the pillow next to me, his eyes fixated on the TV, I see a tiredness in his expression that’s been lingering for far too long.

  “What happened to dinner?”

  “We just ate. You’re hungry again?” he questions, not looking at me.

  “You know what I’m talking about.”

  Alex turns his bright blues in my direction, his eyes searching my face. “Are you asking me why I didn’t go to dinner with Tricia?” Finally! The floozy has a name.

  I roll my eyes.

  “Are you admitting that you’re jealous?” Not this again.

  I shake my head and decide to drop the topic. Today has been torturous and the last thing I need is to strike up this conversation again, especially considering where it led us earlier.

  My eyes feel heavy and I can feel myself drifting away unconsciously. It’s not until Alex pulls back the comforter that I realize he’s still there. He lifts me and sets me between the soft, cool sheets. I expect to hear the opening and closing of the door as Alex heads to his room, but instead I hear him rustling behind me. I turn and watch as he removes his clothes, pulling his sweater along with his white shirt in one movement.

  I’m tired, but not too tired to admire his tight muscles flex as he undresses. I know I should tell him to go to his room, but I don’t. Instead, I watch and ignore the craving that builds with each shred of clothing he removes. Once he’s down to only his boxer briefs, Alex stands, staring down at my turned torso, just waiting. I pull down the covers from his side of the bed, giving him a silent answer to his unspoken question. I turn and settle against his chest while he nestles behind me, pulling me closer to him.

  His hand rests on my belly and once again a feeling of completeness rushes over me.

  “Good night, Hart.”

  “Good night, Alex,” I sigh, my eyes fluttering closed. My body’s fatigue unfortunately doesn’t stop the thoughts from swirling in my head. There’s so much to say, but I can’t find the words or gather the courage to tell him.

  Instead I focus on the rise and fall of his chest against my back as I lay peacefully in his arms. “Alex?”

  “Hmmm,” his voice is groggy; his arms tighten as I stir him from his sleep.

  “I was jealous,” I exhale, reaching down to pull his arms up, circling my chest.

  “I know,” he whispers, embracing me tighter.

  CHAPTER 13

  Saturday, December 08, 2012

  I turn my head and groan into the pillow. Breathing in his musky scent, I’m engulfed by the torturous ache sweeping through my body. It’s undeniable I’ve missed him; missed so deeply that even when he’s not with me, I feel the constant throb deep in my core. Soldiers who’ve lost limbs talk about phantom pains. They’ve said at times it’s as if their limbs are still there. I’m beginning to understand that it’s the same for love.

  My fingers graze along his cheek, sweeping a stray strand of hair from his forehead. I etch this moment into my memory, not knowing if I’ll ever get another chance like this again. The feeling of his breath across my skin, the beating of his heart under the palm of my hand, the feel of his muscles as he grips my body tighter bringing me closer to him; each sensation that will without a doubt forever ruin me for every other man.

  I squint my tired eyes from the brightness of the rays of sunlight beating down through the large windows. Wait. No. I lift my phone and take in the time. Shit. I pull his arm off my exhausted body and push against hard chest in a panic. “Alex! Get up, get up, get up. We’re going to be late.”

  Alex groans and pulls me closer nestling against my neck. I push against him harder this time. “You weren’t this pushy in my dream.” His groggy voice is sexy as hell.

  Stilling at this admission, a slight devious smirk spreads across my face, all thoughts of being late forgotten. I fidget and place a strand of hair behind my ear before I rest my chin on his bare chest. “You dreamt about me?” My voice is practically a whisper while my finger absently runs along the curvature of his taut muscles.

  Casually, Alex lifts his head, placing his arm behind it for support. “I always dream of you. It’s the only way I get to keep you with me these days. My reality is much more…strained. You always pull me in and then push me away. At least in my dreams,” he sighs, “You let me hold you forever.” Forever sounds believable coming from his lips.

  “What are we doing in these dreams?” I tease, knowing damn well I shouldn’t push this.

  Alex unconsciously runs his fingers through my messy strands. I itch to do the same, but stop myself. “Most of the time we aren’t doing anything special; just laying in bed, talking, laughing.” Definitely not the response I expected, but absolutely nothing could have been sweeter.

  I shake my head, clearing the haze he’s placed me in, remembering only a second later that we’re going to be late if we don’t’ get a move on. His lazy smile quickly diminishes when he sees me jump up from the bed and not so gracefully stumble over the legs of a nearby chair, stubbing my toe in the process. It hurts like crazy and I’m not too thrilled when I hear Alex chuckle, watching me hop up and down trying to apply pressure to my injury. This is so not funny and I try to say as much with a scowl and profanities.

  Making my way over to the edge of the bed, I feel, more than see Alex crawling towards me. I take a sneak peak at him prowling forward. I’m given a show that sends all the blood rushing to my core. My mouth salivates at the sight of his disheveled locks, garnished with a large boyish smile; dimples and all. The muscles in his upper body flex as he travels across the covers to nestle next to me, bare except for his dark maroon boxer briefs. I’m in heaven.

  “Here, let me see.”

  Alex lifts my leg by my calf and rests it on his bare knee. My robe spreads, revealing my upper thighs, just mere inches below my core. His intense blue eyes travel along the curvature of my leg, beginning with my toes, working their way up towards the apex of my thighs. His jaw tightens while his fingers strum along my calf causing goose-bumps everywhere he touches.

  I clear my throat. “Alex…” My voice breaks as I strain to keep my composure. His eyes meet mine. “My toe.” I point to my throbbing foot. He returns his attention to my injury, fingers running over the top of my foot as he lowers his head to take a closer look.

  He applies pressure to my nail. “Does this hurt?” I wince and nod my head. “Awww, my poor baby.”

  Alex lifts my foot and places a lingering kiss against the tip of my toe. I capture my lower lip between my teeth as my lady parts clench from arousal. I’m not too ashamed to admit it’s hard to focus on the pain, or anything for that matter, with Alex’s mouth anywhere on my skin. He continues to place kisses against my foot before taking my big toe into his mouth. My eyes roll into the back of my head. The sucking sensation sends shivers a
cross my body and I swear I can feel the start of an orgasm as the sensation travels from my toe all the way up to my groin. A small moan escapes my lips. My head falls back against the soft pillows, allowing me to relish in the intense feeling. But, just as soon as I feel the warmth and softness of his tongue, he pulls away leaving it a fading memory.

  “Better?” Alex looks at me. I take my hands from my face, blushing at the sly smirk spread across his lips. He’s a tease and he knows it. A woman with lesser will power would push him against the bed and ride him like there’s no tomorrow, but not me. At least not today, not at this moment. Where would that get us? Pleasure…yes. Heartache…maybe. Trouble…Definitely.

  I nod and pull my leg from his grasp. “Y-yes. Thank you.” I limp towards the rack where my suit hangs. “We need to get ready. We’re late as it is.”

  “Yes ma’am,” he salutes. Alex pushes off the comforter and heads to the door that adjoins both rooms. Daydreaming again, I can’t help but observe his incredible body. The muscles along his back are beckoning me to lick every vertebrae of his spine.

  “What are you doing?” I question as he grasps the knob pulling it open to reveal a door to the adjoining room.

  “My room,” he points. Flashing his dimply smile, his eyes bright with mirth, he continues, “Its right next door.”

  “Did you plan this?”

  “You know…one trait of a good leader is remarkable strategic planning, right?” He wiggles his eyebrows and opens the neighboring door, which just so happens to be unlocked.

  I’m so screwed.

  ~~~~~

  “Good morning, handsome.” Irritatingly, I can hear the purr coming from the slut on heels from yesterday. I would love to tell you that I was surprised to see her, but I have a feeling she’s been waiting for us. When we walk into the foyer, she smiles while taking in Alex. She either doesn’t see my unconscious eye roll or she has a canny ability to ignore anyone else around her.

  Her eyes move from his fitted grey vest, to his matching slacks, lingering a little longer than necessary on his inseam. Of course that’s all she notices. Not that I blame her. Alex is definitely well equipped, but she’s missing a whole lot more if she isn’t just as mesmerized by his face, his beautiful azure eyes, not to mention that mouth…I’m not lying when I say he’s every female’s fantasy.

  A woman in love with him, a woman like me, notices much, much more. I know he rushed getting ready this morning, so although his black tie is straight and his stark white dress shirt is perfectly pressed, the disarray of his tousled hair means he’s been running his fingers through them recently. I also know the smell of his cologne still lingers in the bed we slept in. But the one bit of information that makes me love him even more…knowing that, outside of the general glance, he hasn’t looked at her since we arrived.

  Being that introductions were sidetracked yesterday, Alex sways his hands between us to initiate the conversation. Her smile doesn’t fade, but with her arched brows and pursed lips I know she’s sizing me up.

  I may not have had hours to get ready this morning, but a simple French twist combined with a elegant black a-line dress, cream belt, black nylons and matching pumps gives me much needed confidence. Not overly flashy, but a touch of sexy, the dress accentuates my curvy waist and falls a few inches above my knees. Alex seemed to appreciate it this morning.

  “Nice to meet you, Miss Jordan,” I say politely, trying real hard to not show my distaste. Who am I kidding, she’s not the only one doing the sizing up. She’s cute in her black, off the shoulder blouse with tight tan flared trousers and black heels. She a brunette, but the golden highlights that scatter across her tresses makes her look just as fake as her tan.

  “Same here, sweetie.” Sweetie? What am I, four? I’ve never understood the use of pet names in business.

  Alex looks between us with an amused grin. He can sense my unease and yet he still finds it amusing? Well, two can most definitely play this game.

  “The stage is yours, Mr. James.” Tricia gestures to the questionable platform a few yards ahead of us; the SHI logo displayed on a large screen set up as the backdrop.

  While Alex walks towards the stairs, I turn to stand next to Tricia. I’m hoping that by crossing my arms over my chest protectively, she gets the hint that I have no intention of getting to know her.

  “Uhhhh Hmmmm,” she tilts her head; her eyes raking over his body in appreciation. Well, that didn’t last long. Unfortunately for her, she’s going to be alone in her public display of man tasting.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Oh, come on now, Elyssa,” she nudges me with her shoulder. Her smirk as she looks over to me doesn’t go unnoticed. “You have to admit he is one fine piece of tailored ass,” she giggles.

  I clench my teeth and watch him walk away. He does look incredible, but this is one conversation I would prefer not to have with her. It’s awkward; the thought of comparing sex cliff notes with another woman. No way, not a chance. Luckily, I’m saved. The ballroom erupts in applause as Alex takes the stage. He’s waving with one hand, holding a microphone in the other. His dimply smile is addicting as he greets the crowd and starts his speech.

  After a quick introduction of who he is, he offers some background on SHI. His presentation goes smoothly and lasts for a little more than an hour, allocating enough time to explain the different health plan options, costs and structures of premiums and co-pays.

  It’s intriguing to listen and observe him command the stage. Not only does he speak with utter confidence, his pitch and cadence is on point. He’s an extraordinary public speaker and knows how to direct the crowd. He’s the type of man that could sell celibacy to a prostitute.

  “Any more questions?” Alex eyes the audience for hands while he wraps up his presentation. A young female in the front row stands, her friends giggle nudging her to speak. I’m assuming she’s a cocktail waitress based on her uniform. Alex addresses her, “Yes, ma’am in the front row.”

  “Uhhh…so…is it true that all forms of birth control are now covered for free?” I close my eyes and shake my head. No wonder why her friends were giggling beside her. Not that you should be embarrassed about taking control of your life, but to have to ask Alex of all people. I would giggle, too.

  “Not necessarily all birth control. There’s a list of medications in the packet you all received. It’ll show you how your medication is classified, then you’ll want to compare it to the co-pays of the plan you chose. Hopefully that helps.”

  She nods eagerly and begins to sit down, but her friends end up nudging her to continue to stand.

  “I’m guessing you had more questions?” he jests, his blue eyes become practically translucent under the overhead lighting.

  She blushes and tucks her hair behind her ears. “Just one more.” She holds up a finger. Well, at least she knows how to count. “We…I was wondering if you were single?” The room echoes with laughter as she bashfully looks away from Alex’s smirk and joins her giddy seated friends.

  Tricia groans next to me. “God, these women are in heat.” Seriously, Tricia? Have you seen yourself lately?

  Alex pans the audience, ending on the left side of the stage. My side. “Sorry ladies, I’m taken.” His eyes shoot away from mine looking at the crowd again. I cover my mouth with the palm of my hand to try and hide the delicious smile spreading across my lips.

  That answer seems to quench the fire of lust that was growing amongst the eager female employee population. The rest of the Q&A goes smoothly and minutes later Alex is walking towards us again.

  “Nice speech there, VP.” Tricia approaches Alex and I follow close behind.

  “Piece of cake.” His confidence and smart mouth are two of his many qualities that I find downright sexy.

  Tricia reaches up, toying with the buttons of his vest. “So, dinner tonight?”

  “That sounds good, right Elyssa?” Tricia looks back waiting for my answer. I nod. “We’ll meet you at the steakhouse here
at six.”

  One of Tricia’s colleagues calls her from the other side of the room and she excuses herself, leaving Alex and I alone.

  “She’s right. That was quite a speech, Mr. James.” I playfully nudge him with my shoulder.

  “Well, if that isn’t a one-eighty from yesterday.”

  “What?”

  “You playing nice with Tricia.”

  “Just because I admit she was right doesn’t mean we’re going to become friends, Alex.”

  He nods his head, seemingly dismissing the ludicrous idea of her and I becoming friends, at the same time looking around the room as the employees begin to slowly dissipate. We talk briefly about the presentation, which is when I confess that I have a slight fear of public speaking. I almost admit how thankful I was when Arianna told me Oliver would be attending this presentation with me. I said almost, but unfortunately, I wasn’t quick enough and continued my rant about how I was planning on pushing the presentation off on him since he likes to hear his own voice so much.

  You could tell that Alex didn’t appreciate the mention of Oliver’s name. He was quiet for several minutes, deep in thought. I didn’t mean to change his playful mood and cause a gloomy cloud to cover our heads for the rest of the day, so not knowing what else to do, I attempted to change the topic.

  “Have you ever been asked out during an enrollment presentation before?” I glance at Alex over my shoulder and catch him smirking. Him refusing to answer the question is answer enough. I cough, incredulously. “Are you serious? That just seems….desperate.”

  “Some women know what they want,” he shrugs, “So, they go after it. I can appreciate determination.” I purse my lips and look away. I know what he’s hinting at. I’d have to be an idiot not to catch his implications. Little does he know how much determination is required to keep myself from crossing the very thin line with him.

  “Sometimes determination and desperation appear the same.” I look over to the exit where the cocktail waitress and her friends loom. Most likely hoping to catch Alex on his way out, eager to entice him again.