Dead Silence

by T. G. Ayer

  "You're sorry?" Freya's eyes narrowed as she seated herself in the carved black stone seat. "Did you kill Myst?"

  "No," I answered, hurt by the suggestion. "Of course, I didn't kill her."

  "Then why are you sorry? One is only sorry for something one has done or caused to happen. In this case, you didn't do anything wrong."

  "I feel like I did," I found myself admitting.

  "Why would you feel that way?" Freya tilted her head to watch my face as I responded.

  "Because it was her first trip to Midgard and I was too busy protecting the President to watch out for her. I told her to stay with me, that I would keep an eye on her."

  Freya's laugh was hollow while her companion stared at me as if I'd just grown another head. "My dear girl. You simply need to stop taking responsibility for everything that goes wrong. If Myst was with you, she was aware of the consequences of her actions."

  "And now she's dead," I said coldly, breaking eye contact with Freya for a second before looking back.

  She nodded slowly, the dark curls in her hair bouncing against her shoulders. "And now she's dead," she repeated. "And nothing of that is your fault. Where is she now?"

  "She wanted to die on the beach. She said she'd always been fascinated by beaches and hadn't been to a seaside since she'd entered Asgard. So I took her to a beach I'd been to when I was a kid."

  "She died there?" asked Freya, a frown creasing her smooth forehead.

  I nodded, then cleared my throat. "She wanted her last rites to be held at that beach." I watched Freya, suddenly afraid she'd think I'm insane to make such a request.

  Instead, the goddess said, "Good. If that is what she wished then I am glad you made it happen for her. One's final moments are special, I'm told."

  I cleared my throat. "She was very weak for a while. I think it took a toll on her body. Not long after she died her wings changed color and she began to shed them. I . . . I'm not sure what to do now. How long do we wait for the funeral ceremony?"

  "It is best to do the final burial ceremony at that beach, as she requested. I will bring everything you need to complete the rites, and a few warriors to attend. I expect the rest of your team is busy?"

  I nodded. "If it happens immediately then it will just be Joshua and me. He's watching over Myst."

  The goddess gave me a curt nod then turned to the other woman. "Hel, I want you to meet our Brynhildr." Then Freya turned to me and waved her fingers. "Bryn, meet Hel, goddess of the Underworld. She controls this realm."

  I bent my head at Hel, feeling a shiver run down my spine. Another one of Loki's children. This one banished to the underworld to ensure the safety of the rest of the nine realms. But from what I could see, Hel's punishment wasn't so bad if it meant she was in charge of things down here.

  "Nice to meet you," I said giving the goddess a small smile.

  "It is my pleasure, Brynhildr. I have to apologize for my sire's behavior toward you. It seems he has some kind of vendetta."

  I shrugged, unsure of where Hel's allegiance lay so the less said about the Trickster, the better.

  Thankfully I didn't need to respond because Freya said, "If you will excuse me, I will get the funeral arrangements made. Bryn you may return to Myst and await our arrival."

  I hesitated for a moment. "Will you know where to come?"

  The goddess nodded with a smile. "None of my Valkyries are beyond my reach, Brynhildr." With that she turned on her heel and left the hall.

  And then I was left alone with the goddess of the Underworld. I hadn't heard much about her, probably because no-one really spoke of her. And now I felt uncomfortable alone with her, as if I was somehow afraid of her.

  Breaking the silence with a question, I asked, "May I ask what will happen to Myst?"

  Hel shrugged, her straight black hair shivering like a slick waterfall over her shoulders. "It depends on what she wants. Myst has served the gods for a long time, many centuries in fact. So what she wishes for her afterlife will likely be granted."

  "What could she wish for?" I asked, aware that the goddess had been cryptic and perhaps didn't want to answer my questions.

  "She could request to be allowed entry to the afterlife, a place of eternal peace. Or she could ask to continue to serve here in Hel."

  "And if she serves here?"

  "Then she will become a wraith-like creature. A Shade, if you will." I suppressed a shudder. That sounded even worse than people being risen from the dead to serve as Odin's warriors. With Hel watching me, I couldn't reveal my thoughts so I just nodded. "Thanks for answering my questions. I hope I haven't been rude."

  "Not at all, Brynhildr. Your reputation precedes you."

  I flushed, then gave her a small smile. "It was good to meet you. Will you come to the funeral?"

  She shook her head and gave me a sad twist of a smile. "I cannot cross the boundaries of this plane. Hel is who I am, and Helheim is my domain."

  Still unsure how to continue this awkward exchange I lifted my hand in a brief wave. Thankfully, she gave me a regal nod, allowing me to disappear from Freya's hall.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  It felt strange to be relieved to arrive back beside Myst's body, but I was.

  The moment I set foot on the sand, Joshua scrambled to his feet. "What happened?"

  "Freya is bringing a small group to perform the last rites. She thinks we should do it here, where Myst asked to have it done."

  "On the beach? Freya agreed?" asked Joshua his expression a little shocked. "What if someone sees us and comes running up with a fire extinguisher? This beach doesn't allow fires."

  I laughed softly. "It's called glamor, Joshua."

  "Oh," he said his shoulders relaxing. "For a moment there I totally forgot."

  I smiled and sank to the sand beside him. We waited in silence as the inky blues of the night fought a bloody battle with daylight leaving streaks of orange and red on the distant horizon.

  When the first star rose low on the dark horizon, Freya made her appearance, bringing with her a contingent of half a dozen Valkyries. They arrived bearing wood and torches, and soon set to work constructing a long raft.

  Then Freya motioned to me, a gesture I understood as meaning that she wanted me to bring Myst to the platform. Moving out of Joshua's embrace I crouched beside Myst, sliding my arms beneath her to lift her off the ground.

  Her weight felt enormous in my grip, and I knew it accounted for my grief more than anything else. I breathed through the strain and flexed my thigh muscles, hoping I'd get to my feet without falling in to a heap.

  I managed to stand and carry her to the wooden raft. Tears blinded me as I bent to place Myst's body on the funeral pyre. One Valkyrie went about the shore, picking up the feathers that had been scattered by the evening breeze, while the rest stacked the raft with bundles of wood and twigs, placing them around Myst.

  The Valkyries built a small fire near the shoreline, just far enough so the waves didn't lick at it and kill the flames.

  I returned to Joshua's side and felt his fingers weave with mine, lending me some warmth.

  Taking Myst's body to the pyre had eked out all the warmth from me. Whether it was because I remembered losing Sigrun not so long ago, or whether my grief was solely for this new friend that I had made. This new friend that I had also lost.

  Joshua and I stood by, watching in silence even as the Valkyries pushed the raft to the water and shoved it off onto the waves.

  All this was happening where anyone could come upon us on this public beach. But even as I stood and watched, I could make out the watery shimmer of the glamor enclosing us, keeping our activities away from human eyes.

  I blinked and stared at the water. Strangely enough, the sea seemed to calm itself, as if it knew it carried a special burden, sensed that we needed a smooth surface.

  Even the waves ceased their incessant pummeling off the shore and stilled to bear the raft further out to sea. It drifted about fifty yards out and then the ha
lf dozen Valkyries all drew their bows and dipped their arrows into the fire before gathering in a line facing the sea. They raised their bows and aimed at the raft, while Freya spoke words I didn't even hear.

  All I heard was the roar of my blood in my ears, and the crackle of the flames that would soon consume Myst.

  Then the arrows flew, bright sparks of light against the night sky. They all landed with precision around Myst's body and soon the entire funerary platform was ablaze. How it remained burning on the surface of the water was beyond me, but I remained transfixed by the sight of the pyre as it drifted further and further out to sea.

  Within minutes the raft had disappeared and the funeral was over. I inhaled deeply, feeling an icy fist tighten around my heart. When Freya spoke I almost jumped, having not noticed her come up beside me.

  "Myst wanted you to know that she chose to serve in Hel. She will be a shade soon and you may visit her whenever you wish." Then Freya turned to leave.

  But there was something else I wanted to know. "My lady?" I called. When she turned with a question in her eyes I asked, "What about Sigrun?"

  Freya's features softened. "Sigrun's first choice was peace. She was with us for hundreds of years, time in which she had served Odin well. She chose the afterlife, at first."

  I frowned. "At first?" Freya gave me a comforting smile. "Sigrun was quite conflicted about her final decision, having personal reasons for wanting a final departure. But we allowed her time and she too decided to continue her service."

  My head buzzed with the revelation, and for a moment I felt a little lightheaded.

  Stunned I wondered if I could possibly visit Sigrun one day too. My expression must have revealed my thoughts because Freya laughed softly and said, "You may visit Sigrun too. Perhaps after all this nonsense with Loki if over?" Then the goddess walked toward the waiting group of Valkyries.

  I turned to the sea and didn't even watch them leave.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  At last, I looked at Joshua and said. "I'm not sure how to take that."

  Joshua smiled. "At least she is at peace with her choice." Then he paused. "Are you conflicted because of how much you've grieved for her?"

  "Sort of." I studied the waves and sighed. "But it's not really a conflict. She isn't alive. Not technically. But it feels strange to know we can still communicate with her."

  "Strange. Unexpected. Good." The look he gave me was tender and sweet and I had to struggle to hold back the tears. We didn't have much time left, and there was one more thing I needed to do.

  I took Joshua's arm. "Can I show you something before we go back?"

  "Sure," he said, with a curve of his lips.

  I held onto his arm and headed north, up the beach. We walked a quarter mile up the shoreline and I turned right to head into the dunes. From the beach we could see houses nestled behind the hills of sand topped with ragged grass.

  Joshua walked with me in silence, his patience so incredibly helpful to me. We entered a small path, hedged in by dunes on either side that came shoulder height.

  Beyond the dunes, a lush green lawn opened up, leading to a double-story house. With its wraparound deck, it had an expansive view of the sea.

  I stood still for a moment. Now that I'd finally arrived, I was suddenly unsure if it was such a good idea. Then I sighed. "This is my house," I said so softly that I wondered if I'd just imagined saying it.

  "Did you used to live here?" asked Joshua.

  I nodded, feeling the threads of memories begin to creep around my mind. "Sort of. We spent every summer here when I was a kid. A tiny bit of time spent away from my father's work and all the stresses of my crazy life."

  "When did you sell it off?" he asked.

  "We didn't. I still own it. My father's trust handles the rent and rates. I'd hoped someday that I could come and live here. A little hideaway from reality."

  "And now you think you will never do that?" asked Joshua, with an understanding smile. He moved and stood behind me as we both watched the house. He wrapped his hands around me and set his chin on my head and I smiled to myself in the dark, encased in his warmth.

  "Can you see them?" I asked, watching the family inside. The lights were on, making the interior of the home far too visible from the outside. In the lounge, the father crawled on the floor, his son on his back while the kid screeched, "Giddy-up, giddy-up," so loudly that we could hear it clearly outside.

  In the kitchen the mother and another son were setting the table, laying out cutlery and bowls of food.

  "I always wanted that," I whispered.

  "A family?" His voice rumbled against my spine.

  I nodded, the back of my head brushing against Joshua's chest. "A normal life, a husband, kids. I know now that will never happen and sometimes I feel as if I've lost something."

  Joshua murmured, "I know what you mean. I wonder sometimes what it would have been like to have a normal life." Then he laughed. "Well, then I'd be dead right?"

  I felt a pull of sadness envelop me like a shroud. "So many things about our lives we'd like to change."

  "You can still have that if you wanted, you know?"

  I shook my head, bumping his chin as I moved. "Not going to happen. There's so much we have to do, Joshua. So much responsibility. But I wish I could change it. I mean . . . so many people around me are dying. Aidan, Sigrun, Myst. Odin too, maybe. And you. I almost lost you too. I'm not sure what I would have done if you'd died." I swallowed the tears that welled up in my throat. "Sometimes, I wonder what is the point of it all."

  "What you're doing is the point, Bryn. The end of the world as we know it. We are staring it in the face."

  "And if I had died today instead of Myst? What would have happened then? Would everything have come to a standstill because I was no longer around? No. Because there's Thor and Fen, and all the warriors who've been training for hundreds of years."

  "Bryn, I'm not saying things won't go on without you. What I am saying is your part in all of this is significant, to yourself and to the people around you. Don't forget there are so many people who care about you. Even if you didn't fight, you'd still be important."

  I let out a deep sigh. "I'm scared of failing."

  "We all fail at something, Bryn. Why are you so hard on yourself?"

  "Because when I fail, Loki wins. When I fail, Odin dies. And Fen dies. People who are important to me, all depend on me to ensure they survive." I let out a soft sob. "I don't even know why it became my responsibility to keep everyone safe. I don't know if I can handle such a huge burden anymore."

  Joshua gave me a squeeze. "It's understandable that you're having doubts. But you're missing the point entirely."

  "What do you mean?"

  "It's not your responsibility to ensure everyone survives. It's your responsibility to ensure that everyone is moving toward the end goal. You're the glue that keeps this whole mess from falling apart. People believe in you, you inspire them. That's your strength, even if you don't see it. And that's why you're here. Not to save people, but to give people hope. That's all you can do. Everything else will happen. You just do your part and let the chips fall where they may."

  "That sounds slightly like a cop out."

  "No. It's merely understanding the parameters in which you're allowed to work. What you can influence is limited. You can fight, and you can die fighting. And everything you do will contribute to the success of the war, just like how everything we all do will contribute. You do what you have to do. Fight. Inspire. Support. And the rest is in the hands of fate."

  The conversation was beginning to drain my energy. "I know what you're saying. I just find it hard to keep going when everyone around me are dying."

  "I'm still here," Joshua whispered, his breath warm against my cheek.

  The family was now gathered at the dinner table, eating and talking. What affected me most were the smiles.

  "Would you really like to have this someday?" I asked.

  "Yes, a
s long as it's with you," Joshua said, his warm breath filtering into my hair.

  I laughed softly. "Okay. Maybe after this whole Ragnarok nonsense is over."

  "I will hold you to that," Joshua said as he let go of me.

  I gave the house and the happy family one last glance before grasping Joshua's arm and reaching for Gungnir.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  We arrived in the small front hall to find President Whitman sitting on the sofa, accompanied by four strangers. I assumed they were some of the delegates on our list. They all looked up at us as we materialized in front of the room's entrance.

  "I don't think I'll ever get used to that," said the woman.

  I recognized her from the news, from before I'd left for a life in Asgard. Evelyn Brentwood, the British Prime Minister got to her feet with a slightly dazed smile on her face. Her auburn hair, usually pulled back into a severe bun at the back of her head, was now spread around her shoulders, softening the stern face that she showed to the public. She was dressed in a mismatched suit, which I assumed she'd thrown on in a bit of a hurry.

  I tossed Gungnir to my left hand before leaning forward to shake her hand. "Good to meet you, Bryn. Whitman's told us about you. Call me Evelyn." She greeted Joshua before proceeding to introduce us to the other two men, the French Foreign Minister Monsieur Pierre Bertrand, and the head of the United Nations Professor Busi Kwama.

  After the introductions I excused myself and headed over to Thor.

  "How did it go?" he asked, his brow creasing as he studied my face. "Are you alright?"

  "I'm fine. I called Freya to do the funeral. It's all done." I swallowed hard, wondering if he knew about Sigrun, if he'd already been to Hel to speak with her shade. Then I shoved the thoughts away and said, "So how many have we got so far?"

  "Just the three. The traveling seems to be tiring your President so he is having a break."

  "Shouldn't we take them straight to Muspell instead?"

  Thor nodded. "I am not sure the old man can withstand the cross-realm jumps. It's hard enough on him to do the Midgard traveling."