The Big Apple Effect

by Christy Goerzen

  Thomas stared intently at his game.

  Anna shrugged. “I know how important it is. I think you should wear that black dress.”

  A sales clerk walked up to us. She was wearing a T-shirt that said: Oh, the humanity. “Can I help at all?”

  “No, we’re okay,” I said.

  Grumbling, I went back into the dressing room and changed into my own clothes.

  “Can we please go eat now?” Anna said when I came back out. “I’m starving.”

  I pouted.

  “I’m sure we’ll find your perfect outfit after lunch,” she added.

  I checked my list and map. My stomach was rumbling too, but I still wanted to try to hit a couple more stores before lunch.

  “I’m hungry too,” Thomas said, putting his phone in his pocket. “Sorry, Maddie.”

  I sighed. “There should be a couple of food trucks nearby,” I said. “I read about them on the Food to Go NYC blog.” At least I could check another thing off my list.

  After grabbing gourmet hot dogs at the Diggity Dog food truck, we headed over to Fifth Avenue. There was a boutique there with clothes from local indie designers that I wanted to check out.

  “Look, Saks Fifth Avenue!” Anna exclaimed. “Let’s go in.” She headed for the big glass doors.

  “No time today,” I said, not looking up. I kept walking, fast, right past the doors.

  “But maybe you’ll find your ideal outfit there,” Anna said.

  “In a department store?” I scoffed. “No way.” I kept walking. My heels were blistering from the loafers, but I wasn’t about to tell Anna.

  I heard Anna sigh behind me.

  “Maddie, can we stop for a minute?” Anna said. She and Thomas were trailing behind me. “We’ve been nonstop for six hours.”

  “We still have seven more things to do today,” I said, waving my list wildly in the air. “Seven! And it’s already three in the afternoon! We haven’t even been to an art museum yet.”

  Finally, I agreed to let Anna and Thomas go into Saks Fifth Avenue and then hang out in a nearby Starbucks while I checked out a row of clothing stores.

  “But I promised your mom I wouldn’t let you out of my sight,” Thomas said, his brows knitted.

  “I’ll just be around the corner,” I said. “We all have our phones, anyway.”

  “Okay,” he said. He looked relieved.

  Talk of my mom made me realize she hadn’t texted me since the happy birthday message that morning.

  I pressed on with the shopping, heels bloody, hobbling around the corner to the next shop. I wished Thomas and Anna were more enthusiastic.

  Two hours later, empty-handed, I went back to the Starbucks where Anna and Thomas were waiting. Anna had her head down on the table and Thomas was playing on his phone again. Empty paper cups surrounded them.

  I plopped down in a chair next to them. “How can I be in the fashion capital of the world, and I still can’t find the right dress?”

  “How can it be that I’ve been sitting in a Starbucks for almost two hours and have drunk five Awake teas, and I still feel tired?” Anna said. “But look,” she said, perking up. “I found a dress.”

  She rummaged around in a Saks Fifth Avenue bag.

  “For you to wear at my art show?” I asked dumbly.

  “Yep,” Anna said. She held up a blue silk dress with pleats down the front, and a pattern of tiny white birds on the skirt.

  “Oh wow,” I said, crestfallen. “It’s gorgeous.” I couldn’t believe Anna had found her dress so easily, and I had nothing.

  “We’ll find something tomorrow,” Thomas said soothingly. “Let’s go back to my place to change before your big birthday dinner, young lady.”

  I brightened at that. The day before, Thomas had looked at my list of restaurants. He decided that Myra’s, a 1950s-style diner, would be the place to go for my birthday dinner.

  “Do we still have to dress up?” Anna asked, her voice weak.

  Anna seemed grumpy, for some reason. I couldn’t believe she could be grumpy when it was my birthday.

  “Of course,” I said. “I’m going to wear my poodle skirt.”

  “Anna,” Thomas said, “it’s Maddie Day today. I, for one, am stoked to slick my hair back and put on my best white T-shirt and jeans.”

  My stomach flipped. Why was Thomas so nice? It only made things worse.

  “I’m stoked too,” Anna said, standing up and stretching. “Let’s go.”

  We caught the subway back to Greenwich Village. Even though I was bummed that I hadn’t found a dress for the Canvas art show, I reassured myself that I still had two more days. The 1950s diner would be fun, like a New York City birthday in a movie. I imagined Anna, Thomas and me all dressed up, laughing in a booth over burgers and milkshakes.

  I smiled. There was so much to do, so much to see, it made me perk up again.

  It’s the Big Apple effect, I thought.

  About twenty minutes later, we arrived back at Thomas’s apartment. As soon as we got in the door, I kicked off my shoes. My feet were throbbing.

  Two steps in the door, we heard rustling in the kitchen.

  Anna gasped. “What’s that?”

  Before any of us could turn on a light, someone jumped out of the kitchen, right in front of us in the darkness.

  In the dim light, I saw feet encased in well-worn Reebok sneakers.

  “Happy birthday, Maddie!” a too-familiar voice exclaimed.

  We all screamed, but I screamed the loudest.

  Standing in Thomas’s entry, wearing a tie-dyed pantsuit, was my mother.

  Chapter Six

  “Happy birthday, Maddie!” my mom said again. She flung her arms around me and rocked me from side to side so hard that I bumped my head on the wall.

  “I can’t believe my baby is fifteen,” she said, still rocking. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Thomas and Anna exchange horrified glances.

  When I could, I pulled away. I closed my eyes, willing her to disappear.

  After a moment, I snapped my eyes open. No, this wasn’t some horrible nightmare. My mother was standing in front of me. In New York City, where I thought I was finally thousands of miles away from her.

  “The building superintendent let me in,” my mom said. “I explained that I was here to surprise my daughter for her birthday. What a nice man.”

  Thomas raised his eyebrows and looked at me helplessly.

  “I’m sorry,” my mom said to Thomas in a sing-song voice. She extended her hand, which he shook. “I should have introduced myself. I’m Lynn Turner, Maddie’s mom.” To me she mouthed: cute.

  This was not happening.

  I couldn’t move. I was too stunned.

  “Wow,” I said weakly. “I can’t believe you’re here.” My guts churned like I’d eaten a jar of hot banana peppers.

  My mom giggled, jumping up and down. “This was my big birthday surprise for you! It was so hard not to tell you. I’ve been setting aside money for months.” She paused, breathless. “Can you believe I’m really here?”

  “No, I can’t,” I said, more weakly.

  My legs felt like they weren’t working. The room was going blurry all around me, with my mom’s clownish, smiling face in the center of it all. Maybe I was about to faint from the worst shock of my life. I had to get out of there.

  “I have to go to the bathroom,” I said, bolting for the door.

  I made my way down the hallway toward the bathroom.

  I heard Thomas say, “Uh, would you like some tea, Mrs. Turner?”

  I couldn’t believe it. My mother had swooped in to ruin the week that I’d saved for, for an entire year. And now Thomas was offering her tea?

  I locked myself in the shared bathroom a few doors down the hall. Maybe I’d stay there for a while.

  I coughed, and it was like an invitation for the tears to flow. I pounded the grimy brown tiles on the wall.

  Ouch. Those tiles were hard.

  I heard footsteps. Oh n
o. I was sure it was her.

  “Maddie?” a muffled voice said.

  “I’m okay,” I called through the door.

  “It’s Anna,” the voice called back. “Can I come in?”

  Anna. Thank god.

  She squished into the tiny toilet room with me. I sat on the closed toilet lid, and she half squatted by the door. It didn’t look very comfortable.

  “What is she doing here?” Anna said.

  Those weren’t her only words. What she actually said was a string of every swear word I’ve ever heard in my life.

  “I know,” I said. “What the heck?”

  Those weren’t my exact words either.

  I put my hands over my face. “She’s here to ruin my life,” I croaked through my fingers. “This was supposed to be my week in New York. My week. Doesn’t she know that?”

  “Keep it down,” Anna said. “We don’t want to disturb the creepy dude next door.”

  I moaned a little less loudly.

  “Is that why she kept asking about my brother’s address?” Anna said. “So that she could show up here?”

  I hadn’t thought of that. Of course.

  I nodded my head. “What do I do?” I said. Fresh tears were flowing at this point.

  “Well,” Anna said. “The way I see it, you have three choices.”

  Sometimes I really appreciated Anna’s matter-of-factness. This was one of those times.

  “One,” she held up her thumb. “Tell her she’s not welcome here and to get lost.”

  “I can’t do that,” I said. “No matter how much I want to. Would you be able to tell your mom to get lost?”

  “My mom would never show up uninvited like this,” Anna said.

  True that.

  “What are my other choices?” I said.

  “Two,” Anna said. “Ignore her. Silent treatment.”

  “My mother is impossible to ignore,” I said. “You know that.”

  Anna nodded soberly. “So you can’t just tell her how you feel?”

  “No,” I said. “She won’t get it.”

  “Maybe, in her weird, messed-up way, your mom thought this would be a nice surprise,” Anna said.

  “I can’t believe you would say that!” I glared at the floor.

  Anna shrugged. “Just saying.”

  “She’s jealous,” I said. “That’s what it is. She couldn’t handle me going on a summer adventure without her.”

  “Okay then,” Anna said. “Three. You find ways to secretly sabotage her.” She had a tiny glint in her blue eyes when she said it.

  That made me perk up a little. “That might work,” I said.

  There was a knock at the toilet door. My mom had finally come looking for me.

  “I’ve been waiting to use the bathroom,” a voice boomed from the other side of the door.

  “It’s the creepy dude!” Anna whispered.

  “Do we have to leave now?” I whined.

  Anna and I sat hunched in the tiny toilet room, silent. The man kept knocking. I guessed he wasn’t willing to go to the other bathroom one floor up.

  We slipped out of the toilet room, not looking at the man as we sidled back down the hallway. My stomach was still churning.

  Outside the apartment door, I took a deep breath. I asked Anna if my eyes were puffy. Apparently they weren’t. It was time to face the music. And that music was my crazy tie-dye-wearing mother singing “New York, New York” to Thomas.

  Thomas was leaning against the math poster. His mouth was hanging open. He looked like he’d been stunned by my mother’s laser beam of flakiness and high energy.

  “Maddie!” my mom said, spinning around. She hugged me again, and then Anna. “I read my cards on the plane, and I got the Ten of Cups and the Sun. This is going to be the best time ever!”

  She hadn’t even noticed I’d just locked myself in the bathroom for fifteen minutes. Even though she went on and on about having great awareness, she sure was out of it sometimes.

  My mom held up a fan of twenty-dollar bills. “I did a reading for the guy next to me on the plane, and then the woman in front of me was interested, and before I knew it, all of Section E wanted their cards read!”

  I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. She’d only been there for twenty minutes, and already she’d hijacked the entire trip.

  “Dinner’s on me!” my mom continued. “We’re going to Zelda’s Gluten-Free Palace!” Gluten-free was her latest thing. She said it like we were going to Disneyland.

  “I think the birthday girl should decide where we go,” Anna said, poking me in the back.

  “We’re going to Myra’s,” I said. “It’s a fifties diner. Burgers and fries, that sort of thing. There’s nothing there you can eat.” Maybe that would make her stay home. Or go home, all the way back to Vancouver.

  “Oh, you know me,” my mom said, after a pause. “I’m used to working around the wheat. I’ll get the cook to make me something special.”

  There would be no getting rid of her. Not that easily, anyway.

  Chapter Seven

  “Don’t you have quinoa buns? Or brown rice?”

  At Myra’s, my mom had already drawn out the ordering for more than ten minutes. They weren’t meeting her no-wheat needs. Finally, she ordered a green salad.

  “Well,” she huffed. “Gluten-free is a common thing these days. You’d think they’d try to accommodate their customers better.”

  Anna kicked me under the table. She kicked me or grabbed my knee every time my mom said something ridiculous. That meant she was doing it a lot.

  Ever polite, Thomas didn’t even smile. I couldn’t help but love Thomas all the more. As soon as my mom showed up, he could have taken off with his friends, but here he was, still hanging out with us. I wasn’t sure why he was sticking with us, but I was glad that he was.

  Getting out of the apartment had been an ordeal. Anna, Thomas and I had donned our 1950s-themed outfits in honor of the old-style diner. My mom, however, had wanted to wear her tie-dyed wonder. Finally, we convinced her to change into jeans and her least offensive T-shirt, which read: Keep Calm and Read the Tarot.

  Thomas looked way too hot in his white T-shirt and dark jeans, his hair slicked back. My mom had already whistled and said “hubba-hubba” about his outfit. I couldn’t believe she had hubba-hubba-ed my friend’s brother. Thomas was my crush boy. Unavailable, yes, but I had seen him first. She always had to get in there with whatever or whoever I liked.

  As we sat in the booth, my mom kept checking her watch. She’d been restless the entire time. All of a sudden, she leapt up.

  “Okay, Maddie,” she said, breathless, her hands behind her back. “Pick a hand.” Her eyes were wide. She looked like she was about to implode with excitement.

  “Pick a hand?” I said. This was like when I was little, and sometimes she’d surprise me with a bag of gummy bears. Except this time I had the feeling she wasn’t holding any candy.

  My mom nodded, looking frantic.

  “Um, left?” I said.

  Just then, the server arrived with our meals. She started setting down the plates of juicy-looking burgers and fries in front of us.

  “Yes!” my mom whipped her hand out from behind her back and held up two tickets. “Phantom of the Opera, honey. On Broadway. Second row. Tonight. Happy birthday!”

  This big gift of hers showed how little she really knew me.

  “Mother,” I said, “you should know full well that there is no way I will be dragged into an Andrew Lloyd Webber production.”

  I looked over at Anna to exchange a can-you-believe-it glance, but Anna was staring at the tickets. Her eyes looked dreamy. I was pretty sure there was some drool coming out of her mouth.

  “What?” my mom said. “Maddie, you love theater! I thought you’d be over the moon about this.” She sat back down in the booth and took a sip of water. Then she pouted.

  “I love theater,” I said. “Real theater. Not people, parading around on stage
and singing horrible, cheesy songs.”

  “Second row?” Anna said. “Are you serious?”

  “Maddie, don’t be silly,” my mom said. “I would very much like to take my daughter out to a show on her birthday. I’ve been saving up all the Lady Venus earnings for months.”

  That was how my mom usually handled these situations. With guilt, and lots of it.

  I shook my head. “Not gonna do it.”

  This whole time, Thomas had been looking from my mom, to Anna, to me, wide-eyed.

  “Well, that’s sad,” my mom said. Tears dripped out of her eyes. “Really sad.”

  Like I said, lots of guilt. Still, I hated to see my mom cry. My insides were fighting with each other. Should I go along with it? I thought. No, don’t encourage her.

  Anna took a quick breath next to me.

  “I’ll go with you!” she burst out. Thomas gasped.

  “I mean, is that okay, Maddie?” Anna asked. Her eyes were shining. It was a pleading look.

  “You’re abandoning me on my birthday?” I said. “I can’t believe this!”

  “We can’t let these seats go to waste!” Anna said.

  My mom looked like she might cry. Then she looked at her watch again. Time was ticking, and Broadway musicals waited for no one.

  “You’ll be my honorary daughter tonight,” my mom said to Anna, putting her arm in Anna’s. “I can see Maddie’s got some issues to work through.” I hated it when she talked like I wasn’t there.

  Within moments, they were gone, leaving their unfinished plates, calling back “happy birthday” as they left. I couldn’t believe how easily my mom had replaced me with Anna. And I couldn’t believe how easily Anna had gone along with my mom.

  Now it was just Thomas and me in the booth. Under normal circumstances, that could be fun, but this was not a normal circumstance.

  “Yikes,” Thomas took a sip of his root beer float. “Remind me to never make you mad.”

  “Huh?” I looked away from the door that my mom and Anna had just walked through.

  “Your glare could cut diamonds right now, I swear,” he said.

  “How would you feel if your so-called friend and mother went to see a show together? On your birthday?” I slapped my hand on the table. Now I didn’t know who to be more furious with, my mom or Anna.