Sweet as Honey

by Jennifer Beckstrand

  “You’re smiling,” he said doubtfully. “It must have gone well.”

  “It started out badly. I told him I couldn’t give my answer yet. He accused me of not having faith in Gotte’s plan.”

  A muscle in Dan’s jaw twitched. “What did you say to that?”

  “I told him what you told me on Saturday, that I know Gotte has plans for me but they aren’t necessarily the same plans Paul has.”

  Dan smiled with all the warmth of a summer day. “I’m glad I could help.”

  “He accused me of questioning his judgment. He reads his Bible every night, you know.”

  Dan reached out and took her hand. “I hope he didn’t upset you.”

  She shook her head. Dan didn’t need to know how truly upsetting it had been. “You would have been proud of me. I don’t stand my ground often with Paul. He’s very persuasive. But I told him if he loved me that he wouldn’t be mad about it. I said maybe this was a test of his true love. I think he realized he can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.”

  His jaw twitched again, but he didn’t say anything.

  “After we got home from Mammi and Dawdi’s last night, Paul came over to play Scrabble. He hates Scrabble, so I know he’s trying hard to be patient. I let him win.”

  “Did you?”

  “It made him happy.”

  Dan stuck out his bottom lip and pretended to pout. “You never let me win.”

  “That’s because no one would ever believe that you could beat me at Scrabble. The most impressive word I’ve ever seen you spell is three letters long. I’d be accused of cheating.”

  “That’s not true. I got a triple word score for farm once. I can’t believe you’ve forgotten my greatest Scrabble moment.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “I’m never letting you win. It would be the biggest embarrassment of my life.”

  Dan chuckled before gazing at her as if he were memorizing every line of her face. “Denki for telling me about Paul. I am proud of you for standing your ground. You have to make a decision you feel good about.”

  She placed the veil back on her head to hide her blush. “Knowing I have your confidence makes me braver.”

  He followed her lead and donned his veil and gloves. “We’d better get these excluders in place. Bitsy, Rose, and Poppy have probably finished and gone home by now.”

  “Jah, and you are probably needing to get home to the cows.”

  He nodded. “They don’t appreciate what I sacrifice for them.”

  Lily giggled. “Rose is trying out a new honey lavender ice-cream recipe tonight. Would you like to come over after milking and eat some?” She felt only a momentary twinge of doubt. Should she have invited Paul?

  Nae. Paul could come another night. He wasn’t all that fond of ice cream.

  “It wonders me if you’ll let me turn the crank,” Dan said.

  “That’s why I invited you.”

  His mouth fell open. “You only like me for my muscles.”

  “You’re a very good crank turner.”

  “Okay. I will come. I want to see to the new mousetrap.”

  A laugh burst from Lily’s lips. “Don’t bother.”

  He eyed her with amused curiosity. “Why not?”

  “Aunt B checked it this morning. That mouse licked every bit of peanut butter from the can, but the bucket is empty.”

  Dan raised an eyebrow. “This is no ordinary mouse.”

  “I’d say not.”

  “I’m going to have to come up with a better solution. Or ask Luke.” He winked at her from behind the veil. “Do you know my friend Luke Bontrager? He’s a gute carpenter. He and Poppy might suit.”

  Lily grinned and nudged his shoulder with her gloved hand. “Don’t even think about putting Luke and Poppy together. They’d fight like two cats with nothing but a pile of fur left when they were done.”

  “But it would be so fun to watch.”

  “Not if Luke still wants the use of his arms and legs later in life. You should leave that idea on the shelf where it belongs. Josiah and Rose might be a better fit.”

  Dan nodded thoughtfully. “Rose is afraid of actually having to talk to anybody. Josiah is afraid he’ll scare her away with one uninvited hello. It could take years.”

  “Rose isn’t afraid of you,” Lily said.

  “It’s because she considers me a big brother.” He smiled and sent a giddy shiver up her spine. She knew exactly what he was thinking.

  “Everyone is entitled to her own opinion,” Lily said, putting her hands on her hips and studying Dan’s tall frame and broad shoulders.

  Dan was definitely not the big brother type.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Lily hurried up the sidewalk to Paul’s front door. She was half an hour late already. Dan had been busy with a pile of chores at the dairy, and without his help, the honey had taken hours longer. She’d spent precious time changing her clothes so that she looked presentable for her dinner appointment, and Aunt B had driven her into town and dropped her off at Paul’s house because she said a man in love should not be too lazy to drive his girl home. He might not be lazy, but Paul would probably be grumpy about it, just the same.

  Lily felt an overpowering sense of dread as she knocked on the door. Paul had shown up at the house last night while Lily had been on a buggy ride with Dan. Dan had come last night after milking and invited everyone for a ride to the Shawano Lake overlook. Aunt Bitsy wanted to stay home and try out a new recipe, and Poppy and Rose were too tired, so Lily and Dan had gone up to the lake by themselves.

  When Paul had come by, instead of simply informing Paul that Lily had gone “out,” Aunt B had given him all the incriminating details of how Dan had taken Lily for Yutzy’s doughnuts and then to the lake. Didn’t Aunt B know such news would give Paul an ulcer?

  Paul had hand-delivered a note inviting Lily to dinner at his house tonight, which meant that his mamm and dat had closed the restaurant so the family could eat with Lily. She had a feeling Paul had enlisted his parents to put pressure on her to say yes to the marriage proposal. The thought of being attacked not only by Paul, but by his parents, made Lily want to throw up.

  That didn’t even begin to describe how sick she felt that Paul knew she’d been out with Dan the night before. What would he say?

  Paul answered the door and quickly stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind him. “You’re late,” he whispered. “We’ve been sitting in there twiddling our thumbs for almost an hour.”

  “I’m sorry, Paul. We had to finish the last of the honey.”

  “Of all the stuff, Lily, it’s always about the honey. Sometimes I think you use the honey as an excuse for neglecting me.”

  “I’m sorry you had to wait.” She was so tired of asking Paul’s forgiveness. Wasn’t he supposed to love her in spite of her flaws? At least he hadn’t said anything about Dan. Dan wouldn’t have been so easy to apologize for.

  “I was hoping you’d make more of an effort to be here on time, knowing that we planned a dinner just for you.”

  “If you had talked to me instead of leaving a note, I could have told you that five o’clock was too early,” she said, with more weariness than annoyance.

  He frowned. “If you had been home instead of off to the lake with my sworn enemy, I would have had a chance to talk to you.”

  Sworn enemy? He was upset.

  She should have known better than to even hint at an argument with Paul. He always got defensive. She’d given him no choice. Better to take the blame than to quarrel. “I’m truly sorry I’m late, Paul. If you’re too upset to eat dinner with me, I can go home and we can do it another time. I’ll come to the restaurant.”

  And pay for my own meal.

  Anything to make him happy.

  His mood seemed to shift as if he’d decided to let her win the argument, even though she hadn’t put up much of a fight. “Nae. I want you to stay. Mamm made about eight things. We closed the restaurant.” He placed h
is hand on the doorknob. “Where are your glasses?”

  “Putting them on would have made me ten extra minutes late.”

  Paul sighed. “Okay. I guess it’s okay. Dat might not even notice.” He gave her a pleasant smile. “Tonight is your special night. Take as many helpings of everything as you want. My family wants you to have a gute time.”

  “Okay,” she said, the sick feeling rising in her throat. Paul had always been so stingy with food. She’d only been to dinner at his house three other times, and he had always cautioned her to take food sparingly. He didn’t want her to look like a pig in front of his parents.

  Paul opened the door and motioned for her to go first. The heavenly smell of Martha’s rolls greeted her. No matter how bad things got tonight, the rolls were sure to be as flaky and golden brown as ever.

  Paul’s dat, Raymond, sat on the sofa reading the paper, and his two younger brothers lounged on the chairs on either side of the sofa, looking as if they might starve to death at any moment. Paul’s brother-in-law, Junior, was sprawled on his back in the middle of the floor taking a pre-dinner nap. Junior had married Paul’s sister, Ada, last September, and they lived in the basement.

  Raymond looked up from his paper. Lily steeled herself against his displeasure at her being tardy and spectacle-less, but he merely smiled stiffly. “Lily, welcome to our home. I hope you’re hungry. Martha has made all your favorite foods tonight.”

  “I smell rolls,” Lily said. “I could eat nothing but a whole plate full of rolls and be quite content.”

  “Hullo, Lily,” Paul’s brother, Perry, said. “We’re glad you’re here.” Perry was a couple of years younger than Paul and probably fifty pounds heavier.

  Peter James, Paul’s other brother, jumped to his feet. “We’re really hungry.”

  “Peter James,” Raymond scolded. “Mind your manners. We don’t care how late Lily is, we’re very happy that she’s here.”

  Peter James nodded dutifully. “Jah, Lily. We’re happy you’re here.”

  Lily’s throat went dry. Raymond had never been so accommodating or Paul’s brothers so friendly. They were going to try to charm her into saying yes to Paul. Would their goodwill disappear when she refused to give them an answer tonight?

  She’d spent years being Paul’s girlfriend, and while Paul was not always pleasant or even nice, their relationship felt familiar. There was a certain amount of comfort in always having someone to talk to, always having a friend willing to spend time with you, never having to take a risk or move away from the predictable routine.

  Dan was a leap of faith. Was it foolhardy to jump?

  “Cum,” said Raymond, laying his paper on the sofa and standing up. “Let’s eat before it gets any colder.”

  Raymond led the way into the kitchen where Martha poured lemonade into the glasses on the table and Ada, Paul’s sister, put rolls into a basket. Ada was as thin as her brother Perry was plump. Her gaunt face made her look much older than her twenty-four years. Lily always thought Ada would be prettier if she smiled, but since Paul’s dat didn’t put much value on beauty, it was probably just as well she didn’t.

  White stoneware sat atop a lovely royal-blue tablecloth with matching blue napkins. Bowls of corn, candied carrots, and chowchow sat on the table along with a lovely plate of herb-baked chicken. A long-stemmed, fluted glass of a layered gelatin dessert sat next to each plate. Martha had outdone herself.

  Cloth napkins and candied carrots only served to heighten Lily’s anxiety, but she didn’t want to appear ungrateful. “Martha, this looks wunderbarr! I can’t believe you went to all this work.”

  Martha smiled and finished pouring the lemonade. “It’s all for you. We wanted to treat you to something special, didn’t we, Ada?”

  Ada looked as if she couldn’t care less about whom dinner was for. “Jah, Mamm. We’ve been cooking all day.”

  Raymond pointed to a chair for Lily. “Paul says you’ve worked very hard on the honey this week.”

  “We extracted the last of it today,” Lily said. “Until autumn.”

  Once they’d been seated, they bowed their heads for a silent blessing on the food. Lily nibbled on her bottom lip. She always felt a little out of sorts when she missed Aunt B’s vocal blessing before silent grace.

  After the prayer, Raymond filled Lily in on the market and the improvements he’d been making to attract more customers. Several tour buses stopped by the restaurant and market every month. Raymond was considering asking the bishop for permission to develop a Web site. That would surely attract more visitors.

  “We’ll need another gute cook in the family,” Raymond said, gazing pointedly at Lily. “That’s one thing your aunt Elizabeth has taught you girls well. Paul says your Bienenstich cake is delicious.”

  Lily nearly swallowed down the wrong pipe. They were already making plans for her to work at the restaurant? Maybe that was Raymond’s strategy—talk as if a wedding were certain and make it so.

  Despite the feast before her, Lily could barely eat. The food tasted delicious, but the family’s attention centered squarely on her, as if they’d made a plan to corner her together and browbeat her into marrying Paul.

  “What do you think of Paul’s plan for a wedding this year?” Raymond said. “Ada and Junior can move into Junior’s dawdi house so that you can have the basement to yourselves.”

  Ada did not look at all pleased with the prospect of being moved out of her home.

  “What do you think, Lily?” Paul asked.

  Lily looked up. The whole family stared at her as if a chicken were perched on her head.

  She didn’t think anything except that she would rather not speak. She didn’t want to sound as if she were already planning on a wedding, but she didn’t want to offend Paul’s entire family either, especially when Paul’s mamm had made rolls. Ignorance seemed her only refuge. “I . . . I don’t know,” she murmured.

  “Of course you don’t know,” Raymond said reassuringly. “What does an inexperienced girl know about anything? Your dawdi and I have discussed the wedding in great detail. We both feel it is the right decision, a very gute match.” He reached over Paul and patted Lily’s hand. “A humble, godly girl knows when to heed the advice of those wiser than she.”

  Paul raised his eyebrows at her and gave her the I-told-you-so look he often wore.

  “I am always eager to increase in wisdom,” she finally said.

  Raymond seemed pleased as punch with that answer. So did Paul. He launched into a recital of plans for the house.

  After dinner, Lily, Ada, and Martha did the dishes while the men and boys relaxed in the living room. Though Lily tried ever so hard not to think of other boys while she was at her boyfriend’s house, she couldn’t help but compare Dan’s eagerness to help in the kitchen to Paul’s unwillingness to do “women’s work.” Of course, the difference was in how they had been raised. Lily couldn’t help but think that Dan’s mamm and dat had chosen the better path. A husband and wife should work together, with no one’s labor more or less important than the other’s.

  Paul could learn. All he needed was a gute woman to show him the way.

  After they’d finished the dishes, Martha, Ada, and Lily joined the men in the living room. Paul and his dat were engaged in a serious-looking conversation on the sofa, but they stopped abruptly when Lily walked into the room.

  Raymond snatched a Bible from the end table and leafed through it. “Now,” he said, “everyone sit down and let us study the word of Gotte together.”

  Martha sat on the sofa next to Raymond. Paul came to Lily, took her hand, and motioned for her to sit next to him on the floor at Raymond’s feet.

  Ach du lieva. She was going to get a lecture.

  Ada and Junior sat on the sofa, and Peter James and Perry sat in the two chairs on either side where they had been when Lily had first come. She felt as if she were sitting in an arena surrounded by an angry crowd of onlookers. Ach, it was horrible.

  Raymond ope
ned to the Old Testament. “I thought you might like this one, Lily. Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.”

  Paul laughed nervously. “And woman too.”

  Lily was so uncomfortable, she almost couldn’t breathe. Was there anything, anything at all she could do to get the family to stop staring at her? Raymond read scripture to her as if she were an errant youth in sore need of repentance. The embarrassment was stingingly acute. How could Paul do this to her?

  She didn’t even have to ask. He wanted her to marry him. He’d do whatever he thought he had to do.

  It should have made her feel better to know he loved her so much.

  She took a deep breath and tried to think humble thoughts even though she felt more humiliated than humble. Maybe Gotte wanted to teach her something through Paul’s dat. Just because she felt uncomfortable and picked on didn’t mean she didn’t need to hear it. Paul often chastised her for questioning his wisdom. She still had so much to learn about being a meek disciple. A godly frau.

  “Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honored.”

  Would Dan ever put her through such torture to get what he wanted? Would he try to persuade her to do something she didn’t want to do?

  She caught her breath. Didn’t want to do? Was that how she felt about marrying Paul, or was it just the aggravation of the moment?

  Oblivious to her profound discomfort, Raymond read scripture after scripture that Lily supposed were meant to persuade her. They only made her grow increasingly distressed and bristle with resentment.

  Ach, she was so proud yet.

  “Gotte counseled us from the very beginning,” Raymond said. “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”

  Lily felt deep in her heart of hearts that a husband was not meant to “rule over” a wife the way Raymond ruled over Martha, but she did not know how to put that feeling into words or action. And she certainly wasn’t about to debate scripture with a minister. She pasted a serene, even modest, look on her face and sincerely tried to be meek and teachable.