Shad

by Catherine Lievens

  “Why don’t you sit down?”

  Shad frowned. “Why?”

  “Because I need to tell you something before we... do anything more than kissing.”

  Shad reluctantly sat. “What? Did you change your mind?”

  “No.”

  “Is it... do you have someone? Maybe from before you were taken?”

  “Gosh, no. I’d been kidnapped more than three years ago, Shad. Even if I did have a boyfriend before that, and I didn’t, I really don’t think he’d have waited for me.”

  “So...”

  Gabriel sat on the floor on front of Shad and crossed his legs. He tucked his tail around his waist and played with the tip as he explained what was wrong. “Obviously you know about the tiger bits.”

  “They would be hard to miss,” Shad said with laughter in his voice.

  “Yes, well, the ones you see are not the only parts I have.”

  Shad scrunched his nose. “Okay, so you have the tail, the ears, the eyes, the fangs and the claws. You’re dealing with the last two incredibly well, by the way.”

  Gabriel shrugged. “I’m used to it. I file the nails so that I don’t hurt anyone and I’m used to the fangs by now. They’re not really that long anyway.”

  “I didn’t even feel them when we were kissing.”

  “They’re not as long as a real tiger’s.”

  “What part am I missing, though? I mean, I can see everything I pointed out, so...”

  Gabriel felt himself blush and looked at the carpet. “I don’t know how much you know about cats reproductive systems.”

  “Eh, nothing. I never had any reason to learn about it. Wait, reproductive system? Does that mean that you have a tiger’s dick?”

  Gabriel groaned and hid his face in his hands. “I wouldn’t have said it like that.”

  He heard Shad move around and felt two hands grab his to move them away from his face. Shad was right in front of him, on his knees, so close Gabriel would only have to lean forward a little to kiss his mate. It might be a good idea, actually, if anything to avoid talking about his dick in a very unsexy manner.

  But of course, Shad wouldn’t be easily dissuaded. “Well?”

  “No, I don’t have a tiger’s dick. It’s still mine.”

  Shad’s body relaxed. “Oh, thank God.” He let go of Gabriel’s hands and slumped back, falling on his ass.

  “It’s still mine, but it’s... different.”

  Shad’s head snapped in Gabriel’s direction. “What? How? Come on, you can’t say something like that and don’t tell me how it’s different!”

  Gabriel swallowed loudly and gathered his courage. “It has barbs.”

  Shad grimaced. “I don’t know what they are but it doesn’t sound so good.”

  “It’s, well, cats have to stop their partner from running away and trigger ovulation.”

  “To get Mrs. Cat pregnant.”

  “Yes. Mine aren’t as developed as cats’ are, or as... sharp, but they’re there.”

  Shad wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knees, “So, what does that means for us? Can we have sex, or not?”

  “We can, I’m just not sure you’ll feel comfortable.”

  “Will it hurt?”

  Gabriel sighed. “Honestly? I don’t know. I talked to Jared about it and he said it shouldn’t, but we can’t be sure until we actually do it. But you could top.”

  Shad grimaced. “I don’t really like it. Maybe we could try with you topping before, and see if it does hurt? Jared is usually right when he says stuff, and you said they’re not as sharp, so...”

  Gabriel blushed again. “Jared said that in some species the barbs actually increase pleasure and trigger quicker orgasms.”

  “Oh, so it could actually be a good thing for us?”

  “I guess.”

  Shad untucked himself from his position and got up. Gabriel closed his eyes and waited for the rejection he was sure was coming his way, but what he got instead was a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing.

  “I think we’d be more comfortable on the bed. That’s what we came in your room for.”

  “You still want to do it?” Gabriel asked, surprised.

  Shad held his hand out and Gabriel took it, letting his mate haul him up. “Look, I’m not too sure about it, but just because I want to-to see it first, all right?”

  Gabriel didn’t know if he should’ve been relieved that Shad wasn’t completely pushing him away or worried that he didn’t look as eager as he had before. He couldn’t deny he’d probably have the same reaction in Shad’s place, though, so he tried to push the fear of rejection away and smiled at his mate.

  “That sounds kind of clinical.”

  “Maybe, but it’ll only be this once.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Gabriel hesitated as Shad sat on the edge of the mattress. “So, should I just drop the pants, or...”

  “Just sit next to me, okay? We’ll start there.”

  Gabriel sat next to his mate. God, he wanted Shad so much, and despite his nerves, he decided that enough was enough. He had enough of being scared Shad would run, that he would push Gabriel away. Gabriel was going to make the first move. He was going to make this happen.

  He didn’t hesitate before attacking Shad’s mouth and Shad let out a little noise of surprise that turned into a moan as they deepened the kiss. Gabriel reached up and held the back of Shad’s head, loving the feel of the thick brown hair between his fingers.

  He lowered his mouth and began placing kisses along Shad’s jaw as he moved his other hand down Shad’s neck and across his chest. He could feel the beating of Shad’s heart under his palm. Shad’s breathing was speeding up, giving Gabriel all the confidence he needed, all the knowledge that Shad wanted this as much as he did. He slid his hand even lower, until it reached the waist of Shad’s trousers. He paused there and slipped it inside Shad’s sweater, then moved it across the naked skin of Shad’s stomach.

  Shad hissed as Gabriel’s hand skimmed against his skin. Gabriel ran his hands up Shad’s chest and gently pushed him backward. Shad let himself fall onto the mattress and Gabriel climbed on top of him. He lifted Shad’s sweater and bunched it under Shad’s arms, then kissed across the pale, perfect flesh he’d revealed.

  He helped Shad remove the sweater and took a moment to look down at his mate. Shad was perfect, and the fact that he actually wanted Gabriel still amazed him. Gabriel’s gaze lingered on Shad’s face before moving down his pale neck and chest. It was dotted by a few freckles Gabriel wanted to lick.

  Shad reached up and ran his left hand through Gabriel’s hair, stopping at his left ear and scratching it. Gabriel closed his eyes in bliss and Shad continued for a few moments before dropping his hand on Gabriel’s chest. He moved it to Gabriel’s waist and grabbed the fabric of his shirt, then pulled it up.

  Gabriel helped to pull it off and let it fall somewhere. He caught one of Shad’s hands and kissed the palm, then continued to work kisses up Shad’s wrist and arm until he reached Shad’s ear.

  “I want you, Shad,” he whispered.

  Shad looked into Gabriel’s eyes and nodded. Gabriel reached down and unbuttoned his mate’s jeans. His hand closed around Shad’s erection and Shad gasped. The feel of Shad’s cock in Gabriel’s hand sent a surge of adrenaline through him. His own cock was already hard, straining against his jeans, and he wanted nothing more than to be naked with his mate. The man he had been fantasizing about for months was finally there, underneath him.

  Gabriel began stroking his mate, using just as much pressure as he liked for himself.

  Then Shad reached for Gabriel’s jeans and unfastened them, pulling them and his underwear down just enough to take out his cock. Gabriel moaned with pleasure, almost forgetting why Shad wanted to see it. Gabriel pushed up just enough that Shad could see him and continued stroking him.

  Shad stayed still for a little while, his hand wrapped ar
ound Gabriel’s cock, his thumb gently skimming along the barbs on its head. Then he tightened his hand and started stroking Gabriel.

  Gabriel’s rhythm faltered before quickening as his orgasm built up.

  “Fuck,” he muttered, trying to focus on what he was doing, making sure Shad was enjoying himself. It was a hard thing to do when what Shad was doing felt so good.

  Gabriel’s strangeness didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was the pleasure, the moans he was pulling from Shad, the broken words they both uttered as they brought each other closer to the edge.

  Gabriel came first, the movement of his hand faltering again as his orgasm took over. Shad came soon after and Gabriel collapsed on him, both of them panting.

  * * * *

  Shad squirmed under his mate. He wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but he knew they would be soon if they didn’t clean up at least marginally. “Umm, should we go shower or something?”

  Gabriel rolled off Shad. “Sorry.”

  “Are you coming?”

  Gabriel chuckled. “I think I just did.”

  Shad whacked him on the chest. “To shower.” Shad rolled on his side facing Gabriel and traced patterns on his mate’s chest. His gaze strayed more than once toward Gabriel’s now soft cock. He just couldn’t help it. He’d been nervous when Gabriel had told him about the barbs, but seeing them hadn’t been so terrible. He’d even touched them, and Gabriel had seemed to enjoy it quite a bit, but that didn’t help Shad decide whether he was comfortable enough to have them in his ass.

  “Stop staring.”

  Shad blushed and looked up. Gabriel didn’t look angry, but Shad could see he was guarded, like he expected Shad’s reaction to be bad, or at least not entirely positive. Shad still wasn’t sure about all this, but he was sure he didn’t want to push Gabriel away, especially not now.

  He stroked his hand higher and curled it around Gabriel’s neck, then pushed up and kissed him. The kiss wasn’t as frantic as before but rather sweet and slow, and Shad hoped it’d be enough to let Gabriel know he wasn’t going anywhere.

  Gabriel was smiling when Shad pulled away. “Shower? I feel icky from the exams Jared did.”

  Gabriel groaned and looked at his stomach, then at Shad’s. “I suppose we should go, yes.”

  They stayed silent as they got up and showered. Shad took out a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt from the bag he’d brought with him and put them on, then sat on the edge of the bed. It was suddenly awkward, and he wasn’t sure Gabriel wanted him to stay or if he should go back to his room.

  Gabriel came in from the bathroom, still toweling his hair, carefully avoiding the tiger ears. The only thing he wore was a towel, and it was hanging perilously low since Gabriel’s tail was free and idly moving behind him.

  Shad tried not to look, really he did, but it was a lost cause. “Why don’t you put some clothes on?”

  “I thought we’d get back into bed, actually.”

  Shad nibbled on his lower lip. “Yeah?”

  “Uh huh. Unless you don’t want to, of course.”

  “No, no. I do.”

  Shad slid his ass upward and slipped under the comforter and sheets.

  “Do you want me to put clothes on?” Gabriel asked, his head cocked to the side as if he was trying to read Shad.

  “No, it’s fine.”

  Gabriel shrugged and took a pair of boxers from his dresser. He ditched the towel and yeah, Shad really couldn’t keep his eyes away, not when Gabriel seemed so eager to show his body off.

  “Have you taken the meds Jared gave you?”

  “Not yet.”

  Gabriel tsked and strode to the small kitchen area Shad had noticed on one side of the room. He came back with a glass of water and handed it to Shad, then grabbed the jeans Shad had abandoned on the carpet and dug in its pocket until he found the bottle.

  Gabriel popped the lid open, took one pill out, and gave it to Shad. He never took his eyes away from Shad as Shad gulped down both the pill and some water, then gave the glass back to Gabriel.

  Gabriel nodded and put the glass and the bottle on one of the nightstands, then got into bed. Shad waited for his mate to make any moves, afraid he’d do something that would push Gabriel away. He was happy when Gabriel settled on his side facing him and put an arm around his waist.

  Shad snuggled closer and inhaled Gabriel’s scent. It was a weird mix of man and animal, something civilized with just a hint of wilderness in it.

  “What conclusions did you come to?” Gabriel asked.

  Shad smiled. “Conclusions? You sound like you’re talking about buying a car or a new fridge.”

  “I guess you can see this as getting something new, although I hope it’s better than a new car.”

  Shad kissed Gabriel’s shoulder. “If you’re offering a new car, I won’t say no.”

  Gabriel growled and Shad laughed in response. In his self-induced isolation, he’d almost forgotten how good it was to be with people, to talk and laugh without having to fear they’d find out what he was hiding. If it wasn’t hiding his illness, it was hiding his guilt over spying on the pride, and neither was easy to do.

  “I was just wondering if you still wanted to be with me after seeing the entire extent of what I am now,” Gabriel said softly, almost too softly for Shad to hear. There was vulnerability in those words, and it broke Shad’s heart. He knew Gabriel was doing his best to convince himself he didn’t care, but it was obvious he did.

  He shifted around and got on his side too so that they were facing each other. He cupped one of Gabriel’s cheeks with one hand and hooked the other around Gabriel’s waist to pull him closer, then kissed him. “Yeah, I want to be with you. Do you want to be with me, though? You know it could end badly. If Jared doesn’t find a way to cure me...”

  Gabriel buried his face into the crook of Shad’s neck. “Don’t even think of it, okay? You’re not going anywhere, even if I have to beg, or kill, or whatever.” His voice was muffled but perfectly understandable.

  “It won’t come to that. I’m sure Jared will find something.”

  “And I’ll talk to Adrian. I never really understood the stuff he does, but I do know he’s good at it. Maybe he can help.”

  Shad nodded, more to appease Gabriel than anything else. He didn’t know if they’d find a way out, if Jared and Adrian really would manage to do something, but he wouldn’t lose hope. He had ever more reasons to keep fighting now. “So we’re agreeing we both want each other.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Does that mean we’re a couple? Or are we on a nightly basis?”

  Gabriel snorted and pulled away. His ears twitched and it made Shad smile. He’d noticed they did that when Gabriel was embarrassed or angry, and he certainly wasn’t angry at the moment.

  “Nightly basis? Really?”

  “I just want to know what I say to the people who ask me.”

  “Meaning Darin, Keenan, and probably Nysys.”

  “Scratch the probably, you know he’ll be all over this and bug us until we mate. Look at what he and Keenan are doing to Isaiah and John.”

  Gabriel chuckled. “I saw John hiding from them the other day. In the entrance closet.”

  Shad burst out laughing. He could totally see John hiding in a closet to avoid Nysys and Keenan and he was sorry he’d missed it. “Did they find him?”

  “Yes, and I still don’t know how they did it. Nysys just... stopped by the closet door and sniffed the air. Then he looked at Keenan and said I smell ex mercenary. It was creepy.”

  “What did Keenan do?” Shad asked between giggles.

  “He sniffed the air too and answered yeah, me too. Why do you think he’s hiding in the closet? Is he trying to tell us something? Maybe we should tell Isaiah.”

  Gabriel modulated his voice as he told the story and Shad was hiccupping by the time he got to the end of it.

  “So John burst out of the closet and ran away lik
e he had the hounds of hell behind him.”

  “Wha-what did Nysys and Keenan do?”

  “They ran after him.”

  Shad hid his face against Gabriel’s neck and tried to stop laughing and start breathing again, but every time he thought he’d finally managed it, the image of John running away followed by Nysys and Keenan popped into his mind and he started laughing again.

  Gabriel chuckled and hugged him closer, and Shad felt at peace. This was worth fighting for, and Shad would, to his last breath.

  * * * *

  Gabriel wanted nothing more than to stay in his bed until the next morning, but the growl that came from Shad’s stomach reminded him why it wasn’t possible. “Want to go to dinner?”

  Shad blinked sleepily at Gabriel and Gabriel felt such a surge of affection for him that he leaned down and kissed his mate’s forehead. It was the only way he could explain what he was feeling, and he was glad when Shad smiled back at him.

  “I am hungry, but are you going to come down with me or do you want me to bring food back? We could eat here. Or do you have stuff in your kitchen?”

  “No. The kitchen here’s for show. I don’t do much more than preparing coffee and heating meals that are already cooked.”

  Shad sat up. He looked adorably ruffled—his cheek sporting creases where it’d been on the pillow, a light stubble showing on his jaw. “Wait, that means you’ve been coming down to eat ever since you got here?”

  Gabriel nodded.

  “How did I never see you?” Shad asked incredulously.

  “I always went at night, grabbed what I wanted and brought everything back here.”

  “And now you want to go down there and eat with everyone?”

  Gabriel mirrored Shad and sat up. The sheet slid down his chest and bundled in his lap, and Gabriel didn’t miss the interested glance Shad gave him, but he ignored it. He had to if he wanted to make sure Shad ate. “Sure.”

  Shad’s expression softened. “You know you don’t have to, right? I can eat here with you.”

  “Nope, I want to go downstairs. I already went this morning, and several people saw me in the hallways.”