The complete scars series: Books one-four

by Tonks, Rachael

  “I hope you’re right. I want this baby. But I also want it to be yours. No one else's.”

  Shaking his head, he looks me deep in the eyes. “This is fucked up. So fucked up. I’m sorry, baby.” Encasing me in his arms, he pulls me closer to him and my head rests against his chest. “Everything will be okay. I promise.”

  “I hope so,” I say, trying to be stronger than I feel on the inside. Stepping up from the floor, Nate grabs my hand and pulls me to standing.

  “Izzy called while you were sleeping,” he informs me and I scrunch up my nose.

  “What… this early?”

  He chuckles. “Yeah.”

  “Did she say why?”

  “She’s coming here this morning. She has a surprise for you.”

  “Oh, I’m not sure I like the sound of that. What kind of surprise?”

  “Babe, don’t put me in the middle between you and your friend. She’ll kick my ass if I so much as let it slip.”

  “Hmmm… and what if I’m the one doing the ass-kicking?”

  Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulls me closer, tilting his head to the side and smirking widely. “Why, Miss Mellano. I think I like the sound of that.”

  I flutter my eyes and feel the heat rise in my cheeks. “I should get showered,” I say, changing the subject.

  With a squeeze of my hips, he dips his head, kissing me softly on the lips. “Need help?”

  “No, no,” I rush out, conscious of the fact I have just woken and been sick. I pull back, quickly rinse out my mouth and look at his face. My eyes skirt over his features, looking at the scars on his young face. A face too young for such scars.

  “What is it?” he asks.

  “The scars on your face.” My voice is weak and barely comes out as a whisper.

  Narrowing his eyes, his brows knit together as he looks confused. “We both bear the scars of my father.” There is a deep, pained, sorrowful look in his eyes. They glisten, but not in a good way. In a way that shows me how much he’s hurting.

  Lifting my head, I clear my throat, connecting with his eyes. “But together, we can heal. We can overcome this. You and me. Healing scars.”

  His hand snakes from my waist and lands on the back of my neck. Drawing me toward him, he holds me there like he never wants to let go. “You amaze me, T. What happened to you is horrendous and I will live with the guilt of what he did to you forever. But you are so strong, so brave when most would’ve crumbled.”

  “I don’t know,” I say, shaking my head a little against his hold. “I’m barely holding on.”

  “Baby, you’ve got to give yourself more credit.

  With a sudden hit of realization, I draw back. “Shit. I never thanked you.”

  “Thanked me?”

  “Nate, you saved my life. God knows where I would be right now if you hadn’t risked your life to save me.” A shudder wracks through me. “I was sure I would die there. How did you find me?”

  “Precious, Hunter’s whore, gave me an address to try to save Hunter. She knew that me pressing him for the information would compromise Hunter and put him in a dilemma between us and his own MC.”

  “She knew where your father was hiding out?”

  “Well, yes and no. The address she gave me wasn’t right. I mean, they had been there, but had moved onto the old warehouse where he was keeping you hostage. But when we got to the first address the Deathseekers were there. Brewer had hold of Davo and making a deal with Hunter was the only way we’d get out of there alive. We were ambushed. I had no choice but to offer him the drug deal with Brax.”

  I widen my eyes. “Brax is agreeing to that?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Shit. You need me to speak with him?”

  “I don’t want you involved. This is business between me and Brax. I won’t put you in the middle of that.”

  Stepping back, I cross my arms over my chest, annoyance causing my heart to thump a little faster. “I’m always going to be involved, whether you like that or not. Because anything that affects you, also affects me.”

  “That’s not what I mean, and you know that. I just don’t want you caught between me and your best friend.”

  “I get that, Nate, I really do. But you have to understand that even club business will and does affect us.” I point between us and watch as he awkwardly pushes his hands into his pockets, his eyes focusing on the floor.

  “I’ll let you shower,” he mumbles, turning and heading out of the bathroom. “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”

  Rolling my eyes, I close the door and lean back against it, letting out a barely audible growl of frustration. “Men.”

  * * *

  After a quick shower, I stand in front of the mirror, peeling back the gauze protecting the small cuts across my neck. Showering and trying to keep them dry was tricky, but I just about managed it. Focusing my eyes downward, I allow the gauze in my hand to fall against the counter, scared to look up and face the marks that will probably scar me for the rest of my life. Slowly, I lift my gaze, catching my reflection in the mirror. Small raised patches, now covered in scabs, line the entire surface of my neck. I lift my shaky hand, pressing my finger cautiously to one of the small cuts closest to my chest. Tears sting my swollen and bruised eyes, but I won’t give that bastard the satisfaction of letting them fall. My neck is a mess, my face too, but I know it will heal.

  I’m alive.

  I somehow managed to survive.

  And for that, I have Nate to thank.

  My hero and my everything.

  The beat of my heart and the reason I can still breathe.

  Everything I need and so much more.

  My eyes flit up to the mess that is my hair. Shaking my head, I tie it back the best I can and make my way out of the bathroom and over to the bed. I drop down against the mattress and rest my fingers on the edge, gripping it as the image of Jeffries flashes through my mind. Squeezing my eyes tightly, I try to force out the memories, but it’s not that easy. I hear his voice playing repeatedly in my mind as if he were actually in the room.

  A loud bang snaps me from my train of thought and I whip my head, looking at Izzy standing at the door.

  “Shit, did I scare you?” Rushing over to me, she sits beside me wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

  “In a world of my own,” I say with a chuckle, hoping to placate Izzy. “So, I hear you have a surprise for me.”

  “I wanted to do something to cheer you up and make you feel better. Don’t hate me, okay?”

  “Jesus, this doesn’t sound good.”

  Tilting her head to the side a little, she pushes out her lips, pouting a little. “Hopefully you’ll love this. But if it’s too much too soon, just let me know.”

  “Ookay.” I exaggerate the word. Taking my hand in hers she guides me up from the bed.

  “Get dressed and I’ll be waiting for you downstairs.” She flashes me a huge smile and I can’t help but smile back.

  “Be down in a few minutes.”

  Stepping up from the bed. She walks over to the door, giving me a nod before closing it. I walk over to the wardrobe, searching for something comfy to wear. Pulling out some of my workout gear, I slide on my yoga pants and grab one of Nate’s T-shirts. Pulling it over my head, I take in a deep breath as I inhale his scent. Even though the clothes are clean, I can still smell him. Grabbing the neck of the shirt, I pull it to my nose and close my eyes as I take in the comfort of his unique smell. Slowly making my way over to the door, I remember my phone. Grabbing it, I light the screen and check for missed calls or messages.

  “Shit,” I grumble when I see how many times my mother has called. I lock the screen and open the door, making my way down the stairs all the time clutching the phone in my hand. I need to call her. Have the dreaded “I’m pregnant by a biker” conversation. A conversation I haven’t got the mental strength to deal with right now. I haven’t wrapped this whole thing around my own mind, let alone having to explain
it to my own erratic mother.

  As I reach the bottom of the stairs I hear some strange voices coming from the kitchen. I head in there and see Nate leaning back against the counter, an amused look etched on his face. His eyes watch the animated man in the middle of the room who appears to be flapping his arms around while talking at a crazy fast speed.

  “Hey.” Izzy spots me loitering in the doorway and beckons me. Stepping inside I glance at Nate who hides behind his hand as he snickers at the colorful and very vibrant guy standing beside Izzy.

  “Hey,” I reply, lifting my hand and waving a little nervously.

  “Oh, darling,” the guy addresses me, reaching for my hand and pulling it to his mouth. He kisses the back of it gently, while looking up at me. “I’m Eddie. So very pleased to meet you.”

  “And you.” I look at him and wonder what the hell is happening. “But I have to say, I’m a little confused as to who you are and why you’re here.”

  Laughing loudly and throwing back his head, he lets my hand drop. “Patience, my dear. All will be revealed.” He lifts his hand and waves it in the air.

  “Izzy,” I say, grabbing her arm and keeping my voice low. “Please tell me what the hell is going on. I feel like I’ve stepped into the twilight zone or something.”

  She chuckles. “Eddie has come with me today to give you a little hair makeover. I thought after, you know, what happened, that having your shorter hair cut into a style might help you feel better and move on.”

  Smiling sadly, I open my arms and embrace her. “You are so sweet. And yes, I would love to get this mess taken care of.”

  Leaning into me, she whispers, “And I know he seems a little crazy, but he’s the best hairdresser money can buy and always manages to put a smile on my face. Call it therapy!”

  The flamboyant hairdresser talks with Nate and I can’t help but laugh at the look on his face. “Nate looks positively terrified.”

  We both giggle.

  “Shall we get started?” He spins on the spot, turning his attention back to me.

  “Let’s do this,” I reply with a smile.

  “I’m, uh, going to get going,” Nate stutters, stepping toward me. “You okay if I head out for an hour?”

  “Sure.” Pressing up on my tiptoes I kiss him lightly on the cheek. “I’ll be here, waiting for you.”

  With a nod, he heads out. Within seconds, the rumble of the engine can be heard as he rides away leaving me with Izzy and her eccentric hairdresser.

  Nate

  Dismounting the bike, I remove my helmet and drop it onto the back of the seat. I dig in my pockets as I head over to the studio. Pulling out my smokes, I light it, take a drag before opening the door. I let the door swing open as I lean against the wall staring inside the studio. I hate that I’ve had zero time to work on tattoos or even just sketching some ideas. But this morning, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. The place has been straightened up since Silver trashed it and right now, focusing on what I love is exactly what I need. Besides, Johnny, an old friend from the little time I spent at school, is looking for somewhere new to work. Keeping the money coming in and this place full is something that has to happen.

  Stepping over to the chair, I slide down at the desk, open the drawer and pull out a sketch pad and charcoal pencil. I lean over the desk, as I start to put pencil to paper. As I allow the pencil to flow across the paper, I’d forgotten how important this really is to me. How this is the one way I’m able to really zone out from all the other shit that is happening. Some people talk about their problems, some people lose themselves in music. But for me. This is it. This is how I try to push out all of the bad shit.

  And right now, I need this.

  Because the conflict of killing my father and being a good man feels like a battle I just can’t win.

  A faint knock on the door catches my attention. Lifting my head, I turn to see Melody standing at the door, waiting for me to call her in.

  “Hey.” Pushing back the chair and stepping up, I make my way over to her. “How are you feeling?” My eyes scan over her once swollen and badly beaten face. Only she has healed well, with only a little bruising left.

  “Good.” She smiles albeit a little awkwardly. Her hands are clutched together in front of her as she twists nervously from side to side.

  “I feel like I should totally get back to work. I’m ready.”

  “The whole place is being refurbished right now. But what I need from you is that all the paperwork and business details are transferred over to us. This has to be legit and totally above board. But for now, the whole place is on lockdown. I know that Tara and Izzy really need your help. Why don’t I get my guys to drop you at the office and you can help them over the next few days until Plaza is ready for you to work your magic.”

  “Davo. Could I get a ride with him?”

  Scrunching my nose a little, I offer her a smirk. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

  Her eyes drop and she’s suddenly staring at the floor. “He’s a good guy, Nate. I kinda like having him around.”

  “I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual,” I reply, reaching out to touch the top of her arm, but she jerks backward.

  “Shit, I’m sorry,” I blurt out, grimacing.

  “No, don’t be.” She presses her arms together over her chest. Swallowing down hard, she never looks up. “I should, uh, go find Davo.”

  “He’s here?” Stepping toward her, I follow her outside and walk with her to the main entrance to the clubhouse.

  “Pretty much all the time,” she finally says, looking up at me and flashing me a quick smile. “Listen, I don’t want you to think that my reaction back there is any reflection on how grateful I am. Because you guys have been so good to me. I can’t thank you enough. You guys aren’t like the other MC. I can’t put my finger on what it is. But you’re not.”

  “I’m glad we’ve been able to help. But my help comes at a cost. That cost is making sure that together we make the club work. Plaza needs you, and so do I. I can’t do it without you.”

  “Running that place is all I’ve known for the last year or so. Besides what Levin put me through, I love that job. And looking at the changes to come, I’m excited for the girls. I think this move could be exactly what they need. But promise me one thing, Nate.”

  “What?”

  “That the girls will be safe. I gotta know that I’m going into this for the right reasons. Because we can offer those girls a safe working environment. Yeah, they’re just whores in your eyes, but these girls have their reasons for being here. And most aren’t pretty.”

  Nodding, I acknowledge her. “Of course. The girls will be safe as long as I’m in charge. But tell me. What’s Precious’ story? What’s the deal between her and Hunter? I kinda don’t get it.”

  “Get what?”

  “Like, if he’s so into her, and pays exclusively to spend time with her, why aren’t they together?”

  “She needs the money. Working at Plaza is how she can pay the rent to keep her and her sister with a roof over their heads. The money she makes is way more than she’d make in some nine-to-five job. Plus, she has her classes.”

  “Hunter could just give her the cash.”

  “She won’t take handouts. Samantha lets her pride get in the way.”

  I shake my head in disbelief.

  “Hey, if it isn’t my two favorite people,” Davo bellows.

  “Hey, brother,” I say, opening my arms and embracing Davo. I give him a firm pat on the back before parting and looking between him and Melody. An unfamiliar smile appears on his face as he steps closer to Melody.

  “Hi,” she says coyly.

  “Brother, I need you to take Melody to Brax’s office. She’s going to help out there until Plaza is ready for her.”

  “Ready to ride, baby?”

  Giggling, she nods. “Thanks for everything, Nate.”

  “Anytime.” My cell phone starts to vibrate in my pocket and I head back over
to the studio, pulling it out and swiping across the screen.

  “Brax.”

  “Nate, man. How’s Tara?”

  “Hard to say. Struggling a little I think.”

  “Gotta stay strong for her, man. Believe me, I know.”

  Dropping against the couch, I know he’s right. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own emotions that I haven’t been the rock she needs. “That crazy dude fucking hairdresser turned up with Izzy this morning.”

  Brax laughs loudly down the receiver.

  “Seriously,” I say, letting out a little chuckle. “Where the fuck did you find that dude?”

  “Scary, right?”

  “Listen, if Braxton Harris is scared then that says something about the guy.”

  “Right?”

  “Fuck, Brax. We gotta get together and work out this shit with Brewer. I know you’re not keen on the idea, but I need you on my side for this.”

  “You still got one last deal, man. We agreed.”

  “The guys want it, brother. And I promised it to them, but we also agreed that it would be the last.”

  “I understand. I mean, I don’t like it, but I get it. I think it’s admirable that you’re trying to move away from the drugs. Even if you’re a fucking fool. What we have works, man…”

  “It ain’t up for discussion. I made myself clear and I ain’t going back on that. I’m sorry, Brax. I think of you as one of my brothers. But I have my reasons and I ain’t changing my mind.”

  “I get that. I guess being pimp daddy seems more appealing to you?”

  Scoffing, I can’t help but feel annoyed that he’s ridiculing me. “You do you, Harris, and let me take care of me and mine. That’s all I ask.”

  “You do know that, with anybody else, you wouldn’t be able to walk away like you are.”

  I dart out my tongue trying to wet my dry lips. “I don’t have to honor a deal you made with my father.”

  “But I deal with YOU. Not your father. Never have.”

  My nostrils flare and I hate where this conversation is going. I step down from the couch and start pacing outside the front of the studio. “Let’s meet. We have a lot to discuss. A lot that I will need to take to the table.”