“Yeah,” I said, not elaborating.
“Anyway, he was there fighting for a year, so he doesn’t have a home per se at this time. I’ve told him that I could help him get into any occupation he chose, but he insists that he wants to continue fighting. I’m not going to tell him how to live his life. But I do want the opportunity to get to know my son.”
“Totally understandable,” I said, pushing the eggs around on my plate. I certainly didn’t feel very hungry now.
“So, we’ll all be living here together. One big happy family,” my mother said.
“Sounds great,” I muttered.
“That was the other thing I wanted to tell you about. It shouldn’t be any cause for concern, but since Crash is my only child, I feel obligated and responsible for him now. I missed so much of his life. He grew up poor, and I can’t help but want to make up for that. So I am considering changing my will to leave him half of my estate upon my death. I just wanted you to know that, honey. You will be my wife so it is something I should share with you.”
“Oh, Don,” my mother said. “I think that’s wonderful. Even if I were to outlive you, what would I even do with all that money?”
“So you’ve known Crash for one day, and you’re already making him your heir?” I asked.
“Well, I want to get to know the man first. From what I can see, he’s a strong, independent, resourceful person. He loved his mother to a fault. I can already see that he is the kind of man who would honor my estate. But I’m going to give it a little time before I change the will. Like you said, I’ve only known him for a day. I don’t know his character yet. Who knows what could come up? If I find out that he is not the man I believe him to be, I’ll leave him a much smaller sum.”
My knees began to shake under the table. Now there was a billion dollars on the line for Crash. It wasn’t just my good name that was at stake anymore, it was Crash’s inheritance. My parents could never know what happened between us in Brazil. No one could ever know that the baby inside my womb belonged to my soon-to-be stepbrother. It could jeopardize everything, for either of us.
“Are you all right, honey?” my mother asked, noticing that I was shaking. I tried to get myself under control and force myself to smile.
“I’m just tired. It’s normal. All first-year residents are sleep deprived,” I lied.
“Maybe you should go back to bed before your next shift,” my mother suggested.
“No, it’s fine,” I said. I began shoveling food into my mouth, wanting to end the conversation.
I had way too much to think about. Was I going to let Crash’s baby grow inside my womb? Having it would surely destroy my future. It would destroy Crash’s chance of inheriting his father’s wealth.
All his life, he had believed he didn’t have a father. I couldn’t imagine taking something like a billion dollars from him. Not because of a one-night stand we had in a foreign country while drinking margaritas on the beach. I just couldn’t do that. I couldn’t do that to anyone.
I finished my breakfast and excused myself. I needed to clear my head. I needed to figure out what the hell I was going to do. I walked out the back door of the house and made my way down the trail towards the beach. Seagulls squawked overhead and ravens burst from the dunes into the sky. Little seabirds skittered along the sand and the waves lapped against the shore.
The late morning sunlight glinted on the breakers, the water blue, gray and white as it churned from sea to land. It was all so beautiful, so different than the beaches in Brazil.
Even Southern California couldn’t compare to the tropics of San Paulo. Especially in winter. Even LA got cold. I walked along the private beach, bending every once in a while to pick up a little shell or a smooth piece of beach glass. I rubbed it between my palms, trying to bring myself back to the here and now.
But it wasn’t any use; my thoughts were dark and turbulent, like the ocean during a storm at night. I believed that women should have a choice as to what to do with their bodies. But the baby inside me was mine. It wasn’t a hypothetical question or a political one. It was flesh and blood: growing and alive. It was my baby, or it would be, if I let it bloom inside me.
How could I terminate my own child? Even if having it would ruin everything I’d ever wanted? My thoughts turned and burned inside my mind until the outer world was invisible to me. It was no wonder that I didn’t see him until he was standing right in front of me.
“Good morning, sis,” Crash said. His glinting blue eyes and his brilliant white grin shone down on me like the morning sunshine.
I put my hand over my eyes to shield them from the light, looking up into Crash’s handsome face. The gash he’d had over his eye in Brazil was mostly healed, but it looked as if he had never had it properly stitched or bandaged. A scar was already forming that he would have for the rest of his life. A new scar to join the others that already marred his skin.
I could see a scar on his bicep that twisted the tattoos there. There was another scar that ran down his neck all the way to his shoulder blade. The man had lived a brutal life, so different from my own middle-class existence of honor rolls and carpools.
“Please don’t call me sis,” I said, my voice muted under the sound of the crashing waves and the breeze.
“What should I call you? Fuck buddy?”
What an asshole. I gritted my teeth and glared at him.
“Definitely don’t call me that,” I said. “No one can ever know what happened between us. Ever.”
“Why the hell not? Who fucking cares? I don’t care.”
“You might change your mind about that,” I said.
“Why the hell would I change my mind? I don’t care what other people think about me.”
“Has Don talked to you yet this morning?” I asked.
“Yeah, he said hi up in the house. I asked where you were. Said I wanted to thank you for doing the DNA test yesterday.”
“He hasn’t said anything about his will?”
“No.” He narrowed his eyes and a line appeared between his brows.
“Well, it really isn’t my place to tell you this. But Don informed me and my mom this morning that he was considering leaving you half of his estate. Don is worth a fortune. He said he isn’t going to change his will until he knows what kind of man you are. Do you really want to risk losing what could be a billion dollars just to mess around with me?”
“I don’t need Don’s money,” he said, moving towards me. He gripped my upper arm and tried to draw me closer, but I pulled away.
“I’m not going to be responsible for you losing your inheritance. Don’t try to make me responsible for that just because you have some lingering attraction for me. We both know that this is meaningless, just like every other girl that you’ve ever been with.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said in a husky voice.
“I’m sure you say that to everyone, too,” I countered, taking a step back from him.
I could feel the heat of his body and smell the scent of his skin. Every instinct in me wanted to throw myself into his arms and burst into tears. My body was compelling me to tell him that we were going to have a child together, that he was the father of my baby.
That instinctive, hormonal part of me wanted to have some kind of assurance that he and I would be together forever. That he would take care of me and hold me through the difficulties of life.
That weak bitch needed to shut the hell up. There was no way that I would ever say any of that to Crash. Admitting that would only mean torment and pain and shame. I knew he couldn’t love me. And allowing myself to believe that could destroy everything, for both of us.
“No, I don’t,” he said, taking a step towards me.
I crossed my arms tightly over my chest, barricading myself from him as best I could.
“Do you really expect me to believe that? I know what kind of man you are. I could tell from the moment I met you.”
“You can believe whatever you w
ant, baby. But the truth is, I can’t get you out of my mind. Believe me, it’s fucking with me. I haven’t had my dick wet since our night together.”
“Am I supposed to be complimented by that?”
“I didn’t mean it as a compliment. It’s a statement of fact.”
“I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information.”
“Look, I know you’re freaked out about the whole stepbrother thing. But I also know that night in Brazil was the hottest fucking thing you ever experienced in your life. All I’m saying is maybe we should have a repeat performance. Get it out of our systems. Then you can go your way, and I can go mine.”
“Wow, what a generous offer,” I said with a sneer. I brushed past him and started charging up the beach back towards the house.
“Wait a minute,” he said, hurrying up behind me. “I didn’t mean it like that. Fuck. I have no idea what I’m doing here. I don’t do relationships.”
I turned to him with a frown, my arms still crossed. “You and I do not have a relationship.”
“Harper, I can’t stop thinking about you. Every time I close my eyes, I just see your hot little tits. I remember the feel of your ass in my hands. Jesus, I’m getting hard right now.”
“I don’t need to know about your erection,” I said, not looking at him.
“Please, at least go out with me. Let me buy you dinner, take you somewhere nice.”
“I can’t agree to that right now,” I said. “I need to get back to the hospital. I’m too busy to think about this right now. You’re putting me in a very awkward position.”
“Fine. I’ll leave you alone, on one condition.”
I stopped and turned to him. “What is your condition?” I asked.
“My condition is that you admit that our night in Brazil was the hottest sex of your life.” He looked at me with that confident grin he always seemed to wear. It drove me crazy. It was both sexy and antagonizing and made me want to slap it off his face.
“I admit that and you stop pestering me for a date? You stop talking about that night, and you never bring it up again?”
“Okay, sure.”
“Okay, fine. That night in Brazil was the hottest sex of my life,” I said mechanically.
“That didn’t sound very convincing. Pretending like you don’t mean it, when I know you do.”
I sighed and felt myself ready to burst into tears from the frustration. Why was he doing this to me? If he knew the kind of position he was putting me in… If I could tell him, maybe it would be easier. But he could never know.
“The truth is, the night I spent with you was the most erotic, pleasurable, crazy-fucking-amazing night of my life.”
He cocked his chin and crossed his arms, still smiling at me. His eyes twinkled with mirth. “Now that is the truth,” he said.
“Are we done here?” I asked, turning away.
“Maybe. Maybe not,” I heard him say from behind me, the feeling of his hot gaze on my ass. I shook my head. This had to end.
Chapter Eleven
I stood on the beach, watching her walk away. That woman was too fucking fine for my own good. What she’d said about Don’s will threw me off. I’d never expected him to leave me his money. He didn’t know me. I was just some man off the street who showed up at his doorstep with a letter. Even with the DNA test, I wasn’t really his son. He hadn’t raised me.
Still, Don was acting like a real standup guy. I’d expected to come out here and punch him in the face. But instead, he’d taken me into his life and apologized for the sins of his past.
I didn’t want to disappoint the man. It wasn’t because of the money. I couldn’t give two shits about Don’s money. I had some bank saved up and a career of my own. I could get by. That wasn’t a problem.
The fact that Don would put me in his will made me look up to the guy. Maybe after all this time, it would be nice to have a father figure of some kind. Not that I really needed a father at this point in my life. But everybody could use somebody. I wanted to learn everything there was to know about the man who’d sired me. Maybe if I could learn from his mistakes, it would help me from making my own.
Harper seemed convinced that in order to do that, we couldn’t have anything to do with each other. That, I wasn’t cool with. I wanted that girl more than I could even understand. She haunted my every thought. I’d never had a woman distract me like this before. I’d never had a woman distract me at all before.
I was pretty sure that if I fucked her again, I could get her out of my mind. I had just been high from winning the championship, and she’d been so sweet and innocent. I’d been caught up in the moment as much as she had. Now it was tattooed on my brain.
I figured the only way to remove that deep an impression was to have a replay. It probably wouldn’t be as hot the second time. Then I could just put it behind me like I did every other lay I’d ever had in my entire fucking life.
Don didn’t need to know. Nobody needed to know. Somehow, I’d get that girl back in my bed. I’d fuck her brains out one more time and then move on. With that decided, I followed her up the beach. She’d already disappeared into the house. She needed some time to simmer down, and I’d let her have it. But the sooner I got out from under her spell, the better.
I had shit to take care of. My mom’s funeral arrangements were not a picnic. And I was already training again at a gym downtown. I’d been invited onto the local team and my trainer was pushing me hard to get back into shape. The bender I’d been on since I found out about my mom had made me slow, and I needed to get my shit together if I wanted to win any titles now that I was back in the good ol’ US of A.
Fighting was my life. There was nothing like dominating an opponent in the ring, clashing against another man to the edge of consciousness. The feel of my fist against some motherfucker’s face, the taste of blood in my mouth, the roar of the crowd in my ears. The smell of sweat and blood. The crack of bones under my hand or foot or knee. It was all so fucking brutally beautiful.
I couldn’t let my despair or shame get me off course. I usually drank very little during the season, but I’d let it get out of hand lately. Losing my mom so suddenly like that had left a big, empty hole in my chest, and I didn’t know how to fill it. All this time, the vision of Harper’s beautiful face haunted me like an angel or a demon.
The only answer was to fight and fuck. I’d let everything else sort itself out later. I trotted up the steps towards the beach house and turned onto the patio through the sliding glass door that led into a sitting room. Don and Harper’s mother Christie were there, sitting together in an affectionate embrace.
“Crash, we were just talking about you.”
“Oh yeah?” Who wasn’t talking about me?
“We wanted to invite you to stay in the house until you find another place, or as long as you want. We thought it would be a good way for you and I to get to know each other and for you to get to know Christie and Harper. We’re all going to be family soon, so we might as well spend some time living together. What do you think?”
“Live here?” That was a surprise. I’d never thought about living in Don’s house. But then again, it would give me ample opportunity to be close to Harper. I needed to feel that girl’s pussy around my cock at least one more time.
“We’d love to have you,” Christie said.
“I’ve been staying in a weekly rental hotel for the last few days. This place is a lot nicer.”
“I have a gym here as well. Top-of-the-line equipment. You can use it any time. Not to mention the pool and the beach. Do you surf? I have plenty of boards and wetsuits.”
“How could I resist?” I said.
“Then it’s settled,” Don said, standing to slap me on the back.
“I’ll bring my stuff over tonight after training,” I said.
“Fantastic,” Don replied.
“We’re so glad you agreed,” Christie said.
“Is that all you had to talk to me
about?” I said. “I need to get back down to the gym to meet with my new trainer.”
“There was one other thing,” Don said. “I just wanted to let you know that I feel responsible for you now that I know you’re my son.”
“You don’t need to, man,” I said. “I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time.”
“I know I don’t need to. I want to. In some small way, I hope that I can make up for the mistakes of my past. I hope that someday you’ll see me as your father.”
“Whatever you want to do, man. I’m not going stop you,” I said, rolling my shoulders.
“Good, good,” he said. “We’ll see you later then?”
“Aight.” I slapped Don on the shoulder and winked at Christie. “Stay beautiful,” I said as I walked out of the room.
Needing to go to the gym was not a lie. I had a lot of booze to work out of my system, and I hadn’t fought or pumped iron in weeks. I knew I was getting weak and slow. I couldn’t let that happen.
I straddled my motorcycle and the engine rumbled to life. Speeding out onto the driveway, the greenery flashed by in my peripheral. I made it to the highway and motored all the way to downtown Los Angeles where my new gym was located.
I’d been invited to fight on one of the most prestigious teams in the country, and I didn’t want to show up like some wet behind the ears, dumbass yokel who thought he could fight. I’d been training for eight years in the military and fighting professionally for two. The death of my mother, finding out I had a father, and a two-week long drinking binge was not going to stop me from claiming my next title.
I strode into the gym, holding my duffel bag, the smell of chalk and sweat filling my nose. I could hear the sound of fists pummeling a punching bag and sneakers squeaking across the floor. Two fighters faced each other at the center of the ring. Skinny young dudes in a featherweight class, their taut muscles ropey under their skin.
I made my way to the locker room and changed into my gear, ready to work my ass off to get back into shape. When I emerged, my trainer found me and stopped me.
Crash: A Bad Boy MMA Romance Page 7
