A Little Secret About Love

by Karice Bolton

  Maybe her pregnancy wasn’t conventional, but she didn’t care. For some reason, she was blessed with this child, and she wanted to cherish every second of it.

  And that was when it hit her.

  All this time, she’d thought she didn’t want to tell Sam to protect him and give him a little more bachelor time, but the truth was that she’d been worried about telling Sam for the sole reason that she didn’t want him to ruin the experience for her. She had no idea how he’d react. Would he be angry, shocked, confused?

  Regardless, what she was experiencing was sacred, and she didn’t want anyone to taint the unexpected happiness that colored her life now.

  “I hope you have the decency to tell your family if something like that were to come up.” Her father stood up and threw out the wrappers from their breakfast. “It’s our grandchild too.”

  Dina shifted in the chair, wondering just how pregnant did she look? She thought she looked like she’d just eaten one too many tacos the night before, but now her entire family was throwing skeptical looks in her direction and she wasn’t prepared for it.

  She came here to support her mother, not discuss family planning.

  “So who are you dating?” Her father wandered over to the small stainless sink and washed his hands. “I’m sure you’ve suckered some poor guy into seeing you.”

  Fury filled Dina’s veins as her gaze dropped to the floor. Her goal was to make sure she left her mother’s blood pressure as calm as when she’d arrived and all the comments popping into her head would do anything but that.

  “I’m not seeing anyone seriously.” Dina hated that she was even having to discuss her nonexistent romantic life with her family. They’d never cared for anyone she’d dated except for Dom, but they always sided with her boyfriends.

  “We heard from Dom,” her father began.

  “He seemed hurt by your lack of interest,” my mom added.

  “Lack of interest?” Dina laughed. “He left me at the altar. More than once.” Dina shook her head. ‘Of course there’s a lack of interest. He just wants to get back together because he needs a job and I happen to live next to a really popular ski resort.”

  “No, it’s because he loves you.” Dina’s father stared her down, and she felt the nausea creep back up.

  “He has a funny way of expressing it.” Dina pressed her lips together as she tried to calm her blood pressure. She could feel the beats per minute rising, and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.

  She needed to stay calm for her baby. That she was sure of.

  “You can’t blame him,” her mother’s tone made a shiver run up her spine and before she knew what was happening, she’d stood from the squeaky chair and glared at her parents.

  “I don’t know what your problem is with me, but I don’t deserve to be treated the way you treat me.” She folded her arms across her chest, feeling the blood pounding between her ears. “For years, you’ve treated me like I’m an outcast, and I’m tired of it.”

  “Don’t cause stress for your mom. She’s been through enough.” Her father put his hand on his wife’s shoulder and stroked her strands of hair.

  Dina didn’t say another word. Instead, she quietly picked up her bag, gave her sister a kiss, and hugged both of her parents before leaving the hospital room.

  On the way out, she heard her mother whisper, “She’s always been the problem child.”

  And the stab to heart was only somewhat muted by the flutter of her little baby in her belly.

  By the time Dina had reached her hotel room, her eyes were swollen with tears, and her nose was as stuffed as a Build-A-Bear. She wanted to believe she was over her family’s constant digs, but the truth was it still hurt.

  No matter how much she wished she was over it, she wasn’t, or she wouldn’t be sitting in her hotel room staring at an empty pool and desperately hoping she had someone she could talk to.

  Of course, she knew she could call Autumn who would be immediately on her side, but she already knew what she’d say.

  Divorce them.

  And don’t bother sending flowers on special occasions.

  But Dina knew it wasn’t that simple. There was some silly part of her that wanted her parents’ approval, at least on some level.

  Whether it was acknowledgment of her work accomplishments or what in particular, Dina didn’t exactly know, but she craved recognition on some deep, dark level.

  No, she wanted an outsider’s point of view. Her hand ran across her belly as she thought about Sam. She didn’t want to drag him into an awkward family drama, but she did trust his opinion.

  He had met Dom.

  And felt the same way about him that she did. That had to count for something.

  Dina wandered into the bathroom and blotted away the dampness from her eyes as she stared at herself. She lifted up her shirt and noticed the curve of her belly, and she’d only just begun this journey.

  Whether she fully realized it or not, she felt fully connected to Sam in a way she’d never experienced before, and she wasn’t sure it had anything to do with being pregnant. But it didn’t matter one way or another. There was no doubt they’d be connected for the rest of their lives, yet she certainly didn’t want the pregnancy to put Sam in a position he had no intention of being in. She wasn’t doing this to wrangle him as her family had implied.

  She let out an annoyed grunt and walked over to her cellphone, stared at it for a few seconds, and dialed Sam’s number.

  He picked up instantly and without a second thought, she told him everything that had happened today and for the first time in a long time, she was listened to without judgment, and she knew she’d tell him the second she got home.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The morning light streamed through the window of the hotel room, and Dina rolled over, pulling the sheet over her head. She’d forgotten to pull the drapes shut and now she was paying the price. She hadn’t heard from her family, but she texted her sister that she’d planned on stopping by the hospital again today. Jen agreed that it was a good idea and promised their mom was in better spirits.

  Dina doubted that was the case, but she didn’t fly all the way out to Iowa to stay in her hotel room. Besides, it might be nice to see her brother.

  Might was the operative word.

  It had been years and while she wished she could say he stayed out of the family drama, he was as immersed in it as her sister, which she thought was odd for a guy. Most men she knew always ran in the opposite direction of drama, but leave it to her brother to be different.

  Dina turned on her phone and saw a new blog post pop up from Emilia. This one was titled How To Be A Woman of Worth: The Importance of Charging A Lot. Dina giggled, knowing that while Emilia made it sound like she was giving advice to hookers, she was bound to read a fun and lighthearted article about some dating fiasco, and that was precisely what Dina needed. No family drama.

  Dina fluffed her pillows and clicked on the link. Once she read the first sentence, she knew she was in for a good time.

  Last night, I learned to adopt a positive mindset while adapting to anything but a positive experience with a man we will call Toxic Bob. You see, Toxic Bob misrepresented himself. Did he claim to be Brad Pitt’s brother? No. Did he make a promise that he owned half of Manhattan? No. If he had, I would have known to avoid him like the plague that he promised to spread. No, what he did was far worse.

  He implied that he was ready for a relationship. No, he didn’t just imply…he declared he wanted a partner in life, a companion to conquer the world. It was plastered all over his online dating profile.

  And I drank the Kool-Aid.

  The date started fine. I was enticed. I was lured. He intrigued me. He led me right where he wanted me to go and this all happened in two hours and ten minutes or at least that was how long it took me to realize all he wanted was for me to slip right between his sheets.

  So what did I do? I made sure his Visa trembled in his wallet
as I ordered the most expensive dessert cognac on the menu to go with the gold-infused chocolate decadence (yes there is such a thing).

  I never knew I could make a dinner bill go from eighty dollars to four-hundred and sixty off a little chocolate and a tiny little drink, and boy did it feel good to finally value myself appropriately.

  I’m worth not only the most expensive sip of cognac on this side of the world, but I’m worth dating. I’m worth a relationship or whatever it is I want out of this world. But it took Toxic Bob asking me to his place before I’d even finished my steak for me to realize I’d fallen for his shtick. I’d let the same kind of man into my orbit yet again.

  On the taxi ride home, I had another epiphany. I’ve put so much pressure on myself to find that perfect mate that each date is now becoming some sort of mini grief session. I even experienced the seven stages of grief: Denial, Grief, Pain, Anger, Acceptance, Letting Go, and finally Being Whole Again.

  And here is how it went in my ten-minute cab ride.

  Denial - Nah, that guy couldn’t be that much of a creep.

  Grief - Wow, he really was not the person I thought he was. I miss the man I thought he was. I want that man back.

  Pain - Oh, it hurts so bad that I was fooled again.

  Anger - Damn it. I’m never going to fall for this kind of jerk again.

  Acceptance - But we all make mistakes and I’m okay with it. There are more fish in the sea.

  Letting Go - He’s history and I’m not mad any longer. In fact, I’m almost happy about it. At least, I got a free steak dinner out of the deal.

  Being Whole Again - At least I have a pint of pumpkin spice ice-cream left in the freezer.

  Dina giggled and clicked on the next page just as a knock sounded at her door, and she let out a low groan as she peeled the covers off her body. She didn’t feel like chasing away housekeeping so early in the morning, but she didn’t really feel like sitting in her pajamas in a chair while they vacuumed and tidied up her room either. They’d just have to come back later.

  Dina made her way to the door and looked out the peephole only to be shocked in place.

  It wasn’t housekeeping.

  It was Sam North.

  Looking incredibly sexy and nothing like Toxic Bob.

  But what in the world was he doing standing outside her hotel room? And how did he even know what hotel she was staying at?

  She glanced down at her mismatched pajama set and rolled her eyes. She hadn’t even noticed she’d grabbed the wrong pjs out of her suitcase, so here she stood in a pair of polka dot flannel boxers and a cotton-striped top. She looked like a mess, but… like it mattered.

  “Are you in there, Dina?” Sam asked, and Dina still stood in place without opening the door.

  Next, her cellphone dinged. He’d obviously sent her a text.

  “I think I heard your phone inside.” There was a hint of amusement in Sam’s voice as Dina rested her hand on the door handle.

  The secret was out.

  “Sorry. I was still in bed,” she fibbed as she opened the door to see Sam.

  Her eyes dropped immediately to Sam’s ankle where Romeo sat on the floor, tail swiping the green carpet as he eagerly awaited an invitation to wiggle.

  “You brought Romeo all the way to Iowa?” Dina laughed, feeling a flush of excitement run over her.

  Sam bent down and scooped up the tiny dog. “I couldn’t very well leave him at home.”

  Dina stood in shock, staring at Sam and his little dog, and all she could do was shake her head as tears filled her eyes.

  “Are we that scary?” Sam laughed, holding Romeo next to his face. “I certainly didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “I just can’t believe you’re here, and I have no idea what made you come.” Dina sniffed and wiped her nose with the cuff of her sleeve.

  Sam’s lip curled slightly and he nodded. “It sounded like you could use a friend and my schedule was clear.”

  A warm happiness spilled through Dina’s veins as she stared at the two males outside her room. There was something so comforting and calming about Sam North, no matter what their actual relationship status was.

  It didn’t matter if they were friends only or casually dating or…

  Glued at the hip for life thanks to her little secret.

  All she knew was that for the first time in a very long time, she had met someone who was kind and decent and the exact opposite of Toxic Bob.

  She also knew she’d never do anything to jeopardize having Sam in her life, so if that meant that they’d always just be friends so he could enjoy his ski bunnies so be it.

  “You know, we did fly all the way out here from Washington, so…” Sam’s smile only widened as Dina’s hand flew to her mouth.

  “Oh my word. Come in. I don’t know what I was thinking. Does Romeo need food?”

  Sam shook his head. “I already checked into our room and fed him. He should be good to go.”

  Dina kicked her bra into the bathroom and tossed a towel over it as Sam and Romeo came inside her hotel room. The room had seemed plenty big until Sam walked through her door. Now, the space felt like a tiny box with not enough oxygen for them all.

  Last night, having the phone in between them let her tell him things she’d never told anyone before. Not even Autumn, but having him here in her hotel room changed everything.

  He put Romeo on her bed and walked over to the chair by the window and sat down.

  “So what’s the plan for today?” Sam asked. “Are we going to the hospital to visit or are we just bagging that for the rest of your time here?”

  “You’d go with me to the hospital?” Dina asked, glancing at Romeo.

  “That’s my plan,” Sam said, stretching his legs in front of him.

  It took all of Dina’s energy to ignore the fact that the fabric of his shirt was lifting up, slightly revealing his hard abdomen. Her mind instantly went back to when they—

  “Didn’t you say your brother would be there today?” Sam leaned forward and called Romeo to the chair.

  Dina watched the tiny dog bound off the bed and jump into Sam’s lap and she just smiled.

  Never in a million years did she ever think she’d see Sam North so attached to something other than his job or his ever-rotating selection of seasonal women she’d heard and seen so much about.

  “That’s what my sister said.” Dina wandered over to her suitcase and pulled out a pair of stretchy jeans and a sweater. “I need to go shower.”

  “Did you need any help?” Sam asked, holding Romeo tightly.

  “I don’t think Romeo is tall enough to reach my back, but thanks for the offer.” Dina tried to ignore the heat that was crawling up her thighs as she thought about showering with Sam, but she was smart enough to know that clothes might be hiding her bump well, but being nude wouldn’t be so kind. The odd curve of her belly really only pointed to one thing and that wasn’t the way to tell him.

  Not that she knew what method would be the best.

  Dina started walking toward the bathroom and Sam hollered after her.

  “If you change your mind, just give a shout and I’ll come running.”

  “I bet you would.” Dina laughed as she closed the door behind her and set the clothes on the counter. She didn’t lock the door because there was a part of her that secretly hoped he’d come after her.

  The moment she stepped under the hot water, she closed her eyes and felt the stream of warmth trickle over her skin. Knowing Sam was sitting only a room away made her mind swirl with possibilities.

  There was no doubt that if they stayed in the friend zone the entire time she raised their baby, she’d be taking a lot of cold showers.

  “So tell me,” Sam’s voice shocked her out of her cyclical thoughts. “Do they know we’re together?”

  “Together?” Her heart skipped a beat, and she opened her eyes, looking around the bathroom to see it as empty as before.

  “Well, I’m not seeing anyone els
e and you’re not seeing anyone else.” He paused for a few seconds. “But we do see each other.”

  She held in a sigh and finished rinsing the soap off her body before turning off the water.

  “We’re not a couple,” Dina said, wrapping a towel around her body after she quickly ran it through her hair.

  “We’re not, not a couple,” Sam said, as she opened the bathroom door to see him leaning against the frame.

  “What does that even mean?” She narrowed her eyes.

  “It means that we’ve never actually declared what this is.” He motioned between them and her chest tightened.

  What was there to declare?

  “I’m confused.” She twisted her mouth into a speculative pout. “I thought we were just friends.”

  “But we slept together.” Sam’s gaze turned heated as she walked by him, brushing him as she went.

  She’d forgotten her clothes were already in the bathroom.

  “Once.” She held up her finger.

  “One night, many times.” Sam smirked, making his way over to her.

  She had to do her best to push the images from that night out of her mind or she’d be right back there again.

  As he stood in front of her, a familiar longing ran between them. Her breath caught in the back of her throat as his eyes connected with hers.

  There was only a flimsy hotel towel separating the two of them, and her entire body felt as if it were on fire the longer she watched his gaze canvas over her body.

  But she knew better.

  “You’re not a one-woman kind of guy, Sam.” Dina bit her lip before bringing in a breath. “You’ve said so yourself many times.”

  “People change.” He glanced at Romeo curled up in the chair. “Priorities change.”

  “That’s true.” She let out a deep breath. “But I don’t want to be the guinea pig. I can’t be the practice run for you. I’ve done that too many times in my life.”

  “I’m not asking you to be a practice run.” He knelt down in front of her. “I wouldn’t do that to you. You deserve better and I’d give you better. I’d give you everything.”