Stricken (The War Scrolls Book 1)

by A. K. Morgen

  “It is,” Killian said.

  “I never realized that until now. How hard I made things, I mean.”

  “You were young and afraid.”

  “It was more than that, I think.”

  Killian cocked his head to the side, a question in his eyes.

  “I was actually relieved when they admitted me to the psych unit after the fire, you know? I thought they’d convince me I was crazy and everything would be all right. And they did tell me that. My shrink said angels and demons were my way of dealing with everything. They were my mind’s way of processing the trauma, of fitting such violence into my narrow world view.” A wry smile twisted at Aubrey’s lips. “But as badly as I wanted to believe that, I couldn’t lie to myself, either. So I begged Aunt Mel to take me far away, where I could hide and it wouldn’t matter if I believed or not.”

  “You were a kid,” Killian said, squatting in front of her.

  “I know.” Aubrey sighed. “I did what I thought I had to do. But I didn’t realize how much harder I made it until today. Until now.” She waved her hand in the direction of the ruins.

  “It’s not too late for you.”

  Aubrey examined the house for a moment and then turned back to Killian. “I hope not,” she said. “I hope it’s not too late for any of us.”

  “You really care about what happens to us, don’t you?” he asked.

  “I do.”

  She might not have wanted to live in his world, but she didn’t necessarily want it destroyed, either. And maybe that’s why she’d had to come back. Not to face her past, but because this world needed her help to survive as much as she’d needed the human world the last few years.

  “Do you trust me?” Killian asked, reaching out to stroke one fingertip down her cheek.

  Aubrey stared at him, unmoving, before she exhaled softly and nodded. “I do trust you.” More than she’d ever expected she would.

  Killian smiled as if she’d given him a prize.

  “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, moving his thumb in lazy lines across her jaw.

  “So are you,” she mouthed, wondering if he could hear the way her heart raced in her chest. Wondering what it sounded like to him. Did it tell him that she cared more than she should? That he affected her more than he should?

  He said nothing in response to her confession. He merely continued to stroke her jaw and hold her gaze. The bright blue of his eyes stripped her bare. Everything she didn’t want to feel for him seemed pulled to the surface as he held her gaze captive with his own.

  She wanted to tell him…something. But she didn’t know what.

  His hand fell from her face before she had a chance to figure it out. His gaze drifted away. “We’ve been gone for hours,” he said abruptly, standing in one graceful move. “We should head back.”

  Aubrey exhaled a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and scrambled to her feet, wiping away the dust and bits of grass and leaves clinging to her jeans.

  Neither spoke as they walked to the car.

  Aubrey’s steps slowed as they neared the Mustang and then halted altogether. “Do you think my father created the virus?” she asked, turning to look back out at the ruins of her childhood home.

  Killian didn’t answer, which was answer enough.

  She sighed, a sad frown stretching across her face. “He wouldn’t have done it to hurt anyone,” she said with conviction. Her father would never have purposefully created a virus that could hurt her and Aaron. Every part of her believed that. “There has to be another reason.”

  “Perhaps,” Killian responded. “But we may never know what that reason was.”

  “Do you think…?”

  “Think what?”

  “That maybe he didn’t mean to create the virus? He used to talk about how the Fallen could Heal people. Maybe he was looking for a way to save lives without forcing your people to break their vows.”

  Killian’s upper lip curled into a gentle smile. “Not even the Fallen fully understand how Healing works. We’ve studied our blood for longer than you can imagine, and we still don’t understand.”

  “He didn’t know that,” she argued. “He could have tried to figure it out.”

  “He could have,” Killian agreed, “but he probably wouldn’t have been killed for it.”

  Aubrey flinched. “Anyone could have set the fire.”

  “Your brother was an Elioud shifter, Aubrey. He was strong, fast, and healed quickly. Do you honestly believe he would have died like that, or let your father die, had a human set the fire?”

  “I don’t…” She surveyed the rubble again and sighed.

  As much as she wanted to believe the answer was simple, that someone opposed to something had stolen her family, she’d always known that wasn’t true, and for exactly the reason Killian said. Aaron had been larger-than-life, every bit as much a warrior as Killian. A simple fire wouldn’t have killed him. And he wouldn’t have let their father die that way, either. She’d always known that even if she hadn’t been willing to consider what that truly meant.

  “No,” she said quietly, “he wouldn’t have.”

  “Hey,” Killian murmured, reaching out to pull her into his arms. “That doesn’t mean your father did anything wrong. It doesn’t mean he intended to hurt anyone. There could be a thousand different explanations.”

  “You don’t actually believe that, though, do you?” she whispered, meeting his gaze. “You think he engineered the virus and someone killed him for it. You think he’s the reason everyone is dying now.”

  “I don’t know what I think,” he answered carefully.

  “You’re lying.” She pulled away from him, days of silent frustration boiling over. “You might not know what’s really going on, but you suspect enough. That’s why I’m being chased, isn’t it? He created the virus, and I have to pay for it. I mean, if your people are going to be wiped out because of what he did, you might as well take me with you, right?”

  Killian blanched, causing her to instantly regret her bitter words. She couldn’t take them back, though. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to call them back. If her father had created the virus now ravaging the Fallen and their kin, why wouldn’t they want to make sure she died with them?

  “Maybe I deserve it,” she muttered.

  “Stop it.” Killian grasped her shoulders. His hands were hard on her, his eyes glittering with anger. “Whatever happened and whatever his role, you will not pay for it.”

  “Won’t I?” she asked, refusing to back down. “Haven’t I already? I’m the one that found him and Aaron, Killian. That day haunts me. No matter what I do, it’s there, hovering in the back of my mind. It doesn’t get easier or better or go away. It’s constantly there. So I have to believe that maybe I was supposed to die with them and fate is finally catching up to me. Because that’s better than believing the last three years were my own personal punishment.” She laughed bitterly. “Dying would have been easier. It would have hurt less. So maybe that’s what I have to do to end this. Just die.”

  A menacing growl tore from Killian’s lips, startling her. His eyes darkened, bright blue giving way to roiling, black storm clouds as he backed her into the car. “Is that what you want, then?” he asked. “To die?”

  Aubrey’s heart slammed hard against her rib cage, fear pounding through her at the cold, hard look on his face, as if he hated her. For the first time in days, Aubrey feared him. He was massive, a giant, every bit the Warrior of Light and avenging angel his people had been created to be. He could kill her with one hand if he wanted. And she wouldn’t be able to stop him.

  He bent over her, trapping her between his body and the car.

  “Is that why you came here?” he asked, his lips nearly touching hers.

  Aubrey swallowed hard, her hands frozen into useless fists at her sides.

  “Answer me,” he demanded, hovering over her. “Is that why you agreed to come back here? Because you want to die?”

 
; “No.”

  “Did you expect me to do it for you?” he asked, pain and anger stamped across his face. “Was I supposed to be your murderer, Aubrey? Is that what you want from me? To take your life so you didn’t have to feel guilty for what’s happening to the Fallen now?”

  “No,” she whispered, a tear trailing down her cheek. “I don’t want to die, Killian. Stop, please. You’re scaring me.”

  Killian fell silent above her for a protracted moment, and then, as quickly as he’d done when he’d kissed her, he was gone. Aubrey didn’t move or breathe. She didn’t even open her eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered into the tense silence. “God, I’m so sorry.”

  She said nothing, unable to find words through the fierce pounding of her heart.

  “I won’t hurt you,” he said, almost seeming to plead with her. “I swear to you, I won’t. But you can’t punish yourself for what your father might have done. I won’t let you. Whatever the Elioud are after, whatever they want from you, they aren’t going to get it.”

  Aubrey swallowed. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, cracking her eyes open to look at him.

  He stood several feet away, seemingly torn between coming closer to comfort her and staying where he was. His expression was full of remorse and regret.

  “I didn’t mean what I said. I’m just scared, Killian,” she said. “Everything is changing, and I don’t know why or how I feel or what to do. I don’t understand any of this or what it means for me.”

  “That’s what life is, Aubrey,” he responded, his expression shifting from remorse to sympathy. Regret still brimmed in his angel-bright eyes. “It changes. You change.”

  “I wish it’d stop for a minute and let me catch my breath,” she muttered, swiping at her cheeks.

  Killian laughed, the sound bouncing back to her in melodic echoes.

  The tension between them dissipated, and he stepped closer once more.

  “Trust me, time standing still isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

  “What’s it like?” she asked as he leaned back against the side of the car.

  “Living forever?” he asked, a wry smile on his lips.

  Aubrey nodded.

  “Lonely.” His smile faded.

  “You’ve never had a girlfriend?” she asked, her cheeks heating with the question.

  Killian shook his head again. “It’s not like that for us.”

  “Oh.” Aubrey turned that over in her mind. “Do the Fallen marry?”

  “Sometimes, but love is different for us. It’s more encompassing, permanent. When an angel is destined to be with another, a bond grows between them, connecting them to one another. That bond never goes away for the Fallen.” His eyes were wide and serious as he stared at her. “Even if his mate does.”

  The way he looked at her so earnestly so…sadly…stole her breath. She felt as though he was trying to tell her something. Something that terrified her and didn’t terrify her enough.

  “Killian, have y—?”

  She didn’t get a chance to finish the question.

  He stiffened, looking past her as though he saw something.

  “Get in the car,” he whispered, his voice guttural.

  “What’s wrong?” She spun on her heel to scan the area for some hint of danger.

  She saw nothing.

  “Please get in the car.” He jerked the car door open and pushed her gently inside before jogging around to the driver’s side to climb in. “Put your seat belt on.”

  Fear shot through her at the tight expression on his face, the same he’d worn when the vampire had come looking for her. She scrambled for the seat belt, but couldn’t seem to get her fingers to close around it.

  “Breathe, Aubrey,” Killian reminded her, reaching around her to grasp the seat belt. He clicked it into place before turning the key in the ignition.

  Aubrey sucked in a deep breath and then another. “Is it one of the infected?” she whispered, the words trembling on her lips.

  His mouth compressed in a grim line as he threw the car into reverse. “Hang on.”

  Aubrey yelped as the car shot backward, spinning sharply before Killian slammed it into drive. The force of the sudden change of direction threw her back into her seat and locked the seat belt in place.

  Killian glanced over at her before hitting the gas. The engine roared as the tires spun, flinging pieces of gravel every which way. Quicker than Aubrey believed possible, the car found traction and darted forward.

  A dark shadow bounded out of the woods ahead of them, turning her relieved sigh into a sharp cry of alarm. The wolf was a good half a mile away, but she saw it clearly. The creature was huge, its massive frame seeming somehow larger than the car even at that distance.

  “Killian!” she screamed when he aimed for the shifter, not slowing as it hunkered down, ready to leap upon the tiny car.

  Another shadow broke from the trees and raced into the road ahead. It hit the bigger wolf from the side, knocking it off its feet and sending it rolling across the gravel road.

  Aubrey screamed wordlessly as the second wolf turned its head in their direction.

  Time seemed to slow as the shifter’s yellow eyes met hers and held for a fraction of a second. A shock of recognition hummed through her with the force of a battering ram.

  “Tyrell!”

  ***

  Aubrey’s heartbeat sounded like a thousand fluttering wings. Killian gritted his teeth in an attempt to block out the sound and steered, aiming the Mustang directly at the two shifters in their path. Both were huge in wolf form. One a light gray, the other so dark it was almost black.

  And one of the two was infected, but Killian couldn’t tell which.

  Was it the smaller one in the middle of the road? Or the dark gray one?

  And then Aubrey’s horrified whisper came, and he knew.

  He held the car steady, racing toward the shifter struggling to its feet. Killian wasn’t sure what to expect on impact, but he had a feeling a vehicle moving at seventy miles an hour would take out one of the infected as effectively as a knife slicing across its throat.

  He didn’t have time to be wrong.

  “Killian, stop!” Aubrey screamed at him, her voice shrill with panic as the distance between them and her friend dwindled rapidly.

  The infected shifter bounded back to his feet.

  Killian pushed the car harder. The engine roared a little louder in response. Tyrell still didn’t move. He simply continued to stand there, watching the car barreling toward him.

  At the last moment, Killian turned the wheel to the right. The car took it in stride, not slipping at all on the gravel road. Aubrey screamed again.

  The larger wolf lifted his muzzle and looked right at them.

  They hit him hard, the front end of the Mustang crumpling like an accordion upon impact and flinging the Elioud’s body high into the air. Killian’s arm shot out and settled across Aubrey’s chest, holding her in place as her head snapped back against the seat.

  The airbags deployed with a dusty roar.

  The car spun beneath them.

  And then it was over as quickly as it started. The car fishtailed wildly for a moment, skidding across the gravel before coming to a sudden, hard stop.

  “Are you all right?” Killian demanded as soon as the car stalled, ripping through the airbags and Aubrey’s seat belt. He had her out of the car in a matter of moments, kicking the door free as if it were little more than a toy standing in his way. In that instant, that’s all it was—an insignificant object standing between him and his mate.

  Aubrey shook in his arms as he checked her over. He swept his hands across her body, probing for any cuts or bruises, any damage he might have caused her. She wasn’t hurt, thank God, but she was terrified. Her heart still raced, her breath coming in sharp pants.

  “Breathe for me,” he urged, easing her down to the grass at the side of the road. “Deep breaths.”

  “Yo-you—” Her teeth ch
attered as she looked up at him, her green eyes wide with fear.

  “He was infected,” Killian murmured.

  The second Elioud shifter moved in their direction. Killian leapt to his feet and spun around, putting himself between Aubrey and the wolf.

  Aubrey, Tyrell thought, craning his neck to see her. Despite Killian’s weak Talent reading the Elioud, the excitement of that thought came through loud and clear. So did the surprise echoing from the Elioud lurking in the woods all around them.

  Half a second later, howls split the waning day wide open.

  Her Elioud friends knew what Killian was, and they weren’t happy to see him here now.

  Tyrell hunkered down where he stood, not attempting to get any closer to Aubrey. That was just as well. Killian didn’t want to have to kill her friend, but he would if the shifter attempted to get between them.

  He didn’t.

  Killian stared at him for a long moment.

  “My name is Killian St. James,” he said then. “I am a Warrior of Light. Aubrey is my…” He stopped himself from saying mate. “Friend. She’s under my protection.”

  Howls rent the air again, coming from every side. They were surrounding them, closing in. Killian wanted to curse. More than that, he wanted to get Aubrey the hell out of there. She was too exposed. Too vulnerable.

  “Are there any more infected?” he demanded, silently cursing himself for agreeing to bring her out here without Abriel and Dom. He should have waited for his blade-brothers to return from scouting.

  Tyrell’s massive head swung back and forth.

  “Did he get any blood or saliva in any open wound?”

  The shifter moved his head from side to side again.

  “Tyrell?” Aubrey whispered from behind Killian. Her voice was breathy, nervous.

  Tyrell tilted his head to the side, looking right at her. A jumble of emotion bounced through Killian, more sensation than actual thought. Joy, wariness, relief…and oddly, resignation. Someone had been expecting her.