by KD Bryan
And Jillian knew he was right, they were both on overload…and she really didn’t want to add to his stress with her fears and misgivings. The fact still remained, though, that she was worried about him, and rightfully so to use his words. Rob was strong…she knew that...but even the strongest person had a breaking point.
“Rob, please, just try and understand where I’m coming from here, okay? Everyone has a breaking point, and I hate knowing that I’m the reason you’re near yours,” said Jillian.
With a heavy sigh, Rob dropped his arms from around Jillian’s body and stepped back a few steps. He wanted her looking directly at him when he said what he was about to say openly and without hesitation. It was past time…years long overdue…and no, this probably wasn’t the ideal time or place, but it was what they had at the moment. And suddenly, it didn’t matter where they were, or how many years they’d both deftly avoided voicing their real feelings out loud. Resolve flowed through him, and Rob felt a sense of peace like he hadn’t felt in too long to count.
“Jillian Nicole Barnes,” he began with a catch in his voice. “I love you. I’ve loved you for most of my life…whether I’ve wanted to admit it, or acknowledge it, or whatever…the truth has always been the same. You’re it for me. There is no other woman in this world who I could ever see myself with other than you, so you’re stuck with me.”
Taking her hand in his, Rob saw the tears trickling down her cheeks but he didn’t let that deter him. This was it…the moment of truth they’d been shying away from for years, and it ended here today. No more hiding, no more running from their true feelings, and no more pretending like their lives weren’t connected in the most permanent way possible save one.
Swallowing past his own emotion, Rob stared into the green eyes of the woman who’d captured his attention, and his heart, so many years ago.
“And when this thing is over…and you’re well again…I have an important question that I’m going to ask you, so be ready, okay?” stated Rob firmly.
Stunned into silence, Jillian returned his look with eyes that had gone wide in shock and disbelief. Was Rob saying what she thought he was saying? Did he even realize what he was saying? Shaking her head to clear her jumbled thoughts, Jillian could feel her heart pounding in her chest and the slight ache in her fingers from clutching her towel so tightly.
“Uh…Rob…I don’t know what…” the words stumbled from Jillian’s mouth as she tried to process what was happening.
“The only thing you need to say, Jillian, is how you really feel…about me…about us. That’s all that matters…right now…right here…in this moment in time. Not later this afternoon after your x-ray…not tomorrow before or after your scan. Just tell me once and for all how you really feel…” coaxed Rob.
Swiping at the tears that wouldn’t stop, Jillian took a shuddering breath and realized this was it…the moment of truth. Her life had just been turned upside down…thrown into a nightmare that was her diagnosis…but one thing still held true and steadfast. The gorgeous man standing before her wearing low-slung jeans and nothing else, was the only man she’d ever wanted and would ever want. For as long as she had left on this earth…
“I love you, Roberto. I’ve always loved you, and that’s the absolute truth. Even when we pushed each other away…when we tried denying that we should be together…nothing was ever right unless you were in my life,” began Jillian still swiping at the tears.
Relief swept through Rob, but before he caved and gathered the woman he loved into his arms, he knew there was one additional thing he needed to say. Clearing his throat quietly, Rob’s gaze settled on Jillian’s again as he said, “Jillian, one more thing. It’s important for you to understand that I didn’t say these things…that I love you…because of your illness. But what we’re facing…well, it’s made me realize just how much I needed to tell you what I’ve known for a long time.”
Sniffing back another tear, Jillian looked at Rob with a tremulous smile. “Thank you,” whispered Jillian. “And you’re right…about both of us needing to say it out loud to one another. Feeling it…knowing it…doesn’t mean as much unless you share it with the other person.”
Unable to hold back any longer, Rob stepped in close again to pull Jillian into his arms. He felt her hand release the towel she’d been clutching, and her arms encircled his waist as he captured her mouth in a kiss. Deeping their connection was the most natural thing in the world, and Rob heard Jillian moan quietly as his tongue met hers in a familiar dance.
The urge to take this further was fueled when he felt Jillian’s hands roaming over the skin of his back, and Rob’s own hands kneaded her flesh from her shoulders to the curve of her hip. With a sigh, Jillian shifted back until her body was no longer touching Rob’s breaking their contact that was holding her towel in place. The feel of Rob’s fingers on her now exposed skin sent a shiver down her spine that only he could induce. Taking him by the hand, Jillian silently led him back to their unmade bed and then crawled across the mattress to lounge against the pillows.
Her gaze following his movements, Jillian watched as Rob popped the button and lowered the zipper of his jeans. They slid down the long expanse of his legs leaving him in nothing but black boxer briefs causing the familiar tug of desire to flare through Jillian’s body. Rob was all tanned limbs and sexy male…and all hers. For the first time in so many years, she felt they were finally in sync. He loved her, and he’d admitted it to her here today as she had to him.
Jillian sighed in pleasure as Rob’s body came down gently to surround her own. Their kisses became frantic as they gave in to the desire and need coursing through them both. Clutching Rob’s wide shoulders, Jillian gave in to the passion that consumed them and allowed it to wipe everything else from her mind. Minutes later, she was panting through her release and still clutching Rob tightly as he chased his own in her arms.
Sated and spent, they clung to one another for a few quiet moments before Rob finally lifted his head from her shoulder to place a kiss on her lips.
“Come on, babe, we need to get ready to go,” said Rob quietly. Lifting his body from hers, he held out one hand and Jillian placed her own in his much larger one.
Rob pulled her gently from the bed and Jillian trailed along behind him to the bathroom once again so they could shower together before leaving. A long day awaited them, but for the first time since this whole ordeal had started Jillian felt a sense of peace. Grabbing hold, she vowed to cherish it for as long as it lasted.
“Life has a way of testing a person’s will,
either by having nothing happen at all or
by having everything happen at once.”
-Paulo Coelho
Chapter Twelve
The stale odor of vomit permeated the air as Reid Brandt held his breath struggling to get through one more bout of upchucking by his daughter. Pilar whimpered pitifully as he held her over the toilet, but Reid was just thankful they’d managed to make it to the toilet this time. They hadn’t been as fortunate with Malaya’s last bout, and Reid shuddered thinking about the mess in the bed earlier.
Of course with twins they seemed to do everything together, and evidently contracting a stomach virus was no exception. And poor Carli, his wife was now stretched out on their bed exhausted from all the hours of being up with the girls last night. Unfortunately, she’d also informed him a few minutes ago that her stomach was feeling a little queasy, so Reid was now trying to mentally prepare himself to handle all three of his girls being ill if needed. He knew that help was simply a phone call away, but at this point he refused to call in family. There was no way he wanted to expose them to whatever was making its round through their house right now.
Hoisting his limp daughter up into his arms again, Reid held Pilar carefully while wetting a washcloth to bathe her face. Her dark hair was plastered to her tiny forehead, and Reid smiled tenderly at his baby girl as he wiped her mouth. Pilar was such a sweet, mild mannered child and was usually happy i
n most situations. Her smile was absent this morning, however, and Reid dropped a kiss to her head as he now cradled her in both arms. Retreating to the hall, he made his way back to the nursery to check on his other sick girl praying she’d fallen asleep in his absence.
Carli lifted her head and groaned quietly as her own stomach did another dip and roll. Of all times to come down ill with a stomach virus just when Jillian was about to start her treatments. At least she’d been able to be with Rob and Jillian at the hospital last week when they placed the port in her best friend’s chest, as well as accompanying them to Dr. Nixon’s office for the results of all the scans.
The feeling of relief that washed through the three of them had been almost palpable in the exam room when Dr. Nixon had shared the good news that all the scans were clear. No other tumors had been found, and no other suspicious findings were noted at this time. Despite the positive results, Dr. Nixon had still ordered a bone marrow biopsy just to be safe. Sylvia had accompanied them for that procedure, and Carli was so thankful that her mom was able to take such an active role in helping.
With the results of the bone marrow biopsy being negative as well, Dr. Nixon had finally delivered the news that he was classifying Jillian’s disease process as Stage 2A, limited disease, diffuse large B-cell Lymphoma. Although it had sounded terrifying to both Jillian and Rob, it had been the best news possible to both the nurse and doctor in the family. Carli and Sylvia both understood this was the simplest form of the disease to treat, therefore greatly increasing Jillian’s chances for remission.
Now Dr. Nixon was ready to start chemotherapy this week, and Carli had been determined to be with her best friend through the ordeal. Of course that plan was now out the window if she was truly coming down with something. She couldn’t be within miles of Jillian if she were ill. Jillian’s immune system was going to be extremely compromised for the next several months, and she couldn’t risk any exposure to a viral illness at this point.
Carli gingerly pressed a hand to her stomach waiting to see if she needed to make a dash for the bathroom herself. When the nausea seemed to subside rather than worsening, she knew she really needed to check on Reid and the girls. He’d been such a trooper through the night taking care of one twin while she had the other, and Carli just prayed that she and her husband both didn’t succumb to the nasty bug they had going on.
The sounds of whimpering from the other room had Carli struggling to sit up on the side of the bed, but a sudden bout of dizziness left her immobile and struggling to get her bearings. As soon as the spinning stopped, she pushed to her feet and went in search of her family. Stepping up to the open door of the girls’ room, Carli stopped in the doorway with a little smile on her face. Reid was sound asleep sitting in the comfortable rocker she’d placed in the room when the girls were infants, and he held a sleeping daughter in each arm.
They looked so peaceful that Carli couldn’t bring herself to wake them in order to check on the girls. No one had gotten any sleep last night, and she knew Reid was exhausted just as she was. Tiptoeing quietly to the stairs, Carli decided to search out some Gator-Aid and saltines for herself while she had the chance. Just as she made it to the bottom step, the sound of the doorbell pierced the quiet and Carli cursed under her breath hoping it hadn’t disturbed her sleeping family.
Hurrying on bare feet, Carli reached for the door planning to tell whoever was on the other side that right now they were basically under quarantine. No one really needed to come in unless it was absolutely necessary, or they’d likely run the risk of spending several hours worshipping the porcelain bowl in their own bathroom later.
Surprise registered on her face when Carli looked out and saw an old friend standing on her small porch. Detective Aiden Grant wore a grave expression, and the handsome man standing beside him didn’t look much better. A sudden stab of alarm had Carli’s belly clenching again, but it wasn’t from nausea this time.
Two homicide detectives standing at your door didn’t bode well, and in a trembling voice Carli asked, “Aiden? R.T.? What’s wrong?”
Detective Aiden Grant looked at the woman standing in front of him and felt a sharp stab of remorse that he was here to deliver the news he had for her. Carli’s entire family were old friends of his family’s, and the Grant brothers had grown up with the Santos siblings. They’d all attended parochial school together, and Aiden was still close friends with Carli’s brothers to this day. Now he was here to deliver news that was going rock Carli’s very foundation, and he was having difficulty getting the words out.
“Carli…can we come in? We really need to speak with you,” said Aiden quietly.
Shoving her hair back from her face, Carli gave him an apologetic look and said, “Aiden, besides the fact that you’re scaring me half to death, I need to warn you that my daughters have a stomach virus. We’ve been up all night, and I can’t promise you won’t be exposed.”
Shifting from one foot to the other, Aiden ducked his head and then brought his gaze back up to hers. “We’ll just have to risk it, Carli. I’m sorry, but this can’t wait.”
Trembling with a sudden case of nerves, Carli stepped aside and said, “Okay, then follow me to the kitchen so we don’t wake them. Reid just got them to sleep, and he’s with them right now.”
Aiden’s gaze shifted to his partner, and R.T. shrugged a shoulder in return. Both men stepped into the cozy living room of the Brandt home, and then followed Carli through the house into a spacious kitchen and dining room area. Leaning against the counter of the island, Carli braced herself and looked at Aiden.
“What’s going on, Aiden?”
Clearing his throat quietly, Aiden said, “Carli, there’s no easy way to say this and I’m sorry. Martina Gonzales was murdered last night outside her home in what we believe was a drive-by shooting. She was pronounced dead at the scene.”
Shock crashed through Carli’s system so profound that she found herself holding onto the counter just to keep standing. She felt Aiden’s arms go around her helping guide her down onto the chair his partner had grabbed, but everything else around her was just white noise. Dropping her head between her knees, Carli couldn’t control the wrenching sob that tore through her and made its way out.
Martina was dead? How could that be? Carli had just picked her and Angelina up last week for a playdate in the park for the three girls. The two women had stayed in close contact after everything that had transpired between them, and Carli had been instrumental in helping Martina get back on her feet. Helping her find a suitable place to live…and even helping her find a job to help support her and her little girl.
And now Aiden was saying she was dead. Killed in a drive-by shooting. Crying now, Carli raised her head and looked at Aiden through her tears.
“Aiden, how did this happen? I just saw her last week…we took the girls to the park…everything was fine. I don’t understand. Are you sure?” asked Carli brokenly.
Crouching down in front of Carli, Aiden nodded once and said, “Yes, we’re sure, Carli. It was Martina, and her sister has already identified her body. Should I get Reid…”
“I’m here,” said Reid as he hurried to his wife’s side. Pulling Carli up gently, Reid pressed her head to his chest with one hand as he held her upright within the circle of one arm. Glancing at Aiden, Reid asked, “Aiden, how did this happen?”
Standing beside his partner again, Aiden crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the other man. “Drive-by shooting, Reid… from what we can put together at this time. One neighbor heard a car…and what he thought sounded like a popping sound. The next thing he heard was the sound of tires squealing as the car drove away. The guy said he didn’t think too much about it, but a few minutes later he took his dog out and that’s when he found her…”
Holding onto Reid, Carli lifted her head from her husband’s shoulder and looked at Aiden.
“Aiden…please…was Angelina with her?” The thought of the little girl she’d come to love witne
ssing something so horrific had Carli holding back another sob as tears streamed down her face.
Hurrying to reassure her, Aiden’s partner, R.T., spoke up for the first time saying, “No, Carli, no. Angelina was with Ms. Gonzales’s sister, Consuela. She’d babysat for Martina yesterday because the regular sitter had a conflict. Evidently Martina had decided to stop by her own house last night before picking up her daughter.”
Sagging against Reid, Carli closed her eyes and blew out a strangled breath of relief. “Thank goodness. The thought of that poor baby seeing her Mama shot down….”
Crying again, Carli felt Reid’s palm on her cheek as he pressed her face to his chest. Murmuring words of comfort against her hair, Carli stood in his embrace as she frantically tried to process the devastating news.
Reluctant to break the silence, Aiden shifted on his feet again as he ran a hand back through his hair. “Carli…Reid…there’s something else. When we spoke to Consuela earlier she said that Martina had been preoccupied lately…almost paranoid at times. Did you pick up on anything like that when you were with her last week, Carli?”
Her thoughts shifting in a different direction now, Carli blinked in surprise as she swiped at her tears. She ran through her last outing with Martina quickly in her head trying to recall if anything about the other woman’s behavior had seemed off. Martina had been more quiet than usual, but she’d also shared with Carli that she was tired from working more hours at her job recently.
Shaking her head, Carli looked at Aiden and R.T. before saying, “No…she seemed fine…just quieter than normal, but she told me she was tired from working more hours.”
“She didn’t mention anything about any unusual phone calls, or someone following her?” asked Aiden.
“No, nothing. Why? Had those things been going on, Aiden? Please tell me what you know,” pleaded Carli. Her friend was now dead, and absolutely nothing made any sense at the moment.
