The Awakened Heart

by Betty Neels

  She drank her tea and ate the little cakes Tyske had made and tried to look as relaxed as Rijk, sitting there going through his correspondence as though they had been married for years... Presently she went back to her lovely room to find that her things had been unpacked and put away in the wall closet and the tallboy drawers. There was nothing for her to do but bath and change into the brown velvet skirt and one of the silk tops to go with it. That done, she went and sat by the window and looked out on to the dark grounds around the house, the darkness pierced by the light streaming from its many windows. She could hear Matt barking and presently saw him dashing across the lawns below, followed by Rijk, who looked up and, when he saw her, waved.

  She went downstairs then and found him waiting for her. `I dare say you're tired,' he observed kindly. `I usually dine at eight o'clock when I'm here, but I asked Rauke to serve us earlier this evening. Come and sit down and have a drink first. Is your room quite comfortable? If there is anything that you need you have only to ask.'

  She had the strange feeling that she was a guest in his house as she assured him that she had everything that she could possibly want, glad of Matt's attentions as she sat down and then took the glass offered to her. Presently, she felt better; Rijk was completely at ease, much as though they had been married for years and sitting there chatting over drinks was something they had done forever...

  However matter-of-fact Rijk was over their homecoming, Rauke and Tyske had seen to it that it should be marked in an appropriate manner. The dining-table, decked with white damask, gleamed with silver and crystal, and the arrangement of flowers at its centre was decidedly bridal: white roses and freesias, pale pink tulips and lilies of the valley and blue hyacinths; they smelled delicious. The professor, who had conferred with Rauke over this, their first dinner as a married couple in their own home, watched Sophie's face and was content at the look of surprised delight upon it.

  The dinner itself was delicious: watercress soup, lobster thermidor with a potato salad and dishes of vegetables followed by a lemon sorbet and a spectacular bombe glacee. They ate unhurriedly and Sophie found her initial vague disappointment melting under her husband's undemanding conversation, and presently, when they went back to the drawingroom to have their coffee by the fire, she said, `What a nice homecoming, and how beautifully Rauke and Tyske look after you.'

  `They will look after you just as well, Sophie. In a few days, when you feel at your ease here, Tyske will take you round the house-she is most anxious to inspect the household linen and the kitchen cupboards with you. Rauke will translate for you, but I'm sure that within a short time you'll be able to manage on your own. I dare say you would like some Dutch lessons? I'll see to that for you. Tomorrow we will go and see those of the family who were not at the wedding, and if you like to come to Leeuwarden with me on the following day...? I'll show you where the hospital is and you had better meet the head porter so that if you should need me they can arrange for you to see me at once.'

  She agreed quietly; life was going to be strange for a time, but she would learn quickly. She suspected that he expected her to have her own interests when he was away, and she would have to be careful not to infringe upon his life but just to be there when he wanted her company. That would all be altered, she told herself, but it might take time. He had got what he wanted, the kind of wife and marriage he wanted-it was up to her to change his mind for him.

  She glanced across at him, loving very much every line of his face, longing to shout her feelings out loud; instead, after a suitable time had elapsed, she wished him a friendly goodnight and took herself off to bed. He had opened the door for her and kissed the top of her head as she passed him, an action she treasured as she lay in bed, considering the future.

  They were to have lunch with his three sisters who hadn't been at the wedding. Siska, the eldest of them, welcomed them to her house and Sophie found all three of them there. They hugged Rijk and kissed her with warmth and wanted to know everything there was to tell about the wedding. `We would have loved to have come,' said Siska, `but you knew about the measles, didn't you? When Mother and Father are back and the rest of us as well, we shall have a family party. There are many uncles and aunts and cousins all wishing to meet you.'

  Sophie, having assured her sisters-in-law that she had had the measles, was taken to visit her spotty little nephews and nieces. Later, going back home with Rijk, she said, `What a nice family you have, Rijk; I do like them.'

  `They like you too. You will see a good deal of them, you know.'

  Breakfast was to be early in the morning since Rijk was due at the hospital by nine o'clock. Sophie, well wrapped against the chilly morning, drove with him to Leeuwarden, was shown where the hospital was, told at what time to be there in the afternoon, given a roll of notes, and told to go and enjoy herself, which, rather to her surprise, she did. There was plenty to see and she spent a long time choosing wool. Knitting was something she had never had much time for; but now there was the chance to get expert at it. She bought canvas and tapestry wools too and several paperbacks as well as a notebook and a useful book entitled A guide to Dutch for the tourist.

  Even a smattering of that language would be useful.

  Rijk went to Amsterdam the following day, leaving while it was still dark, and, since he wouldn't be home again until early evening, Sophie filled the hours by inspecting cupboards of linen-enough to last forever, she considered-and more vast cupboards in the kitchen and the pantry, filled with china and glass, and then, lastly, she was shown the safe

  where the family silver was kept. By the time Rijk got home she was beginning to feel that she was a married woman with a home to run.

  The next day she went to the kitchen and sat down at the table there with Tyske while Rauke translated his wife's detailed account of just how the house was run. She enjoyed that; it was a lived-in room and something on the massive Aga smelled delicious. There was a cat and kittens too in a basket before the stove and Matt sitting beside her, watching her lovingly with his yellow eyes.

  Rijk was tired when he got home, but not too tired to tell her of his day, and she made a good listener, sitting there with her knitting, asking all the right questions in a quiet voice. Halfway through an account of a patient's treatment he paused to say, `Did I ever tell you what a restful girl you are, Sophie? I enjoy coming home and finding you here, knowing that I can talk to you and that you will listen intelligently and we are good friends enough for you to tell me when I begin to bore you.'

  `Oh, I'll do that,' she assured him, making her voice briskly friendly, `but it's not likely.'

  `I must arrange for you to meet some of my friends so that they may be your friends too, and you must come to the hospital...' He smiled suddenly. `No one expects us to be very social for a week or two.'

  She summoned a smile in return. She hoped it looked like an understanding smile between friends.

  Rijk finished at Amsterdam and, although he went to Leeuwarden or Groningen each day, she saw more of him. They walked together in the early mornings with Matt and, although he spent most of the evening in his study, at least he was in the house. Sophie began to feel cautiously happy.

  It was several days after he had come back from Amsterdam that she decided to go to Leeuwarden. Rauke was taking the Land Rover in to fetch groceries and she went with him, assuring him that she would go to the hospital and return home with the professor. She spent the early afternoon searching for the extra wools and needles she would need for her tapestry and then made her way to the hospital, nicely in time to meet Rijk.

  She was opposite the hospital forecourt, waiting for a lull in the traffic, when she saw him coming out of the entrance. He wasn't alone; a tall, slender woman was beside him, laughing up at him, and he was holding her arm as they walked towards the Bentley. Sophie shut her eyes and then opened them again; they hadn't deceived her. The pair of them were in the car and Rijk swiftly drove it out of the forecourt; moreover, he was going in the
opposite direction from his home...

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  SOPHIE watched the tail-lights of the Bentley disappear, oblivious of the impatient people jostling her as they hurried past her. Who was the woman Rijk was with and where were they going? It was plain that they knew each other. Rijk had been laughing... Sophie ground her splendid teeth and looked around for a policeman.

  Yes, he told her, holding up the traffic while he explained where the bus depot was, there would certainly be a bus to Grouw, but she would need to hurry. She thanked him nicely from a white face and hurried through the streets and found the bus, already full, on the point of leaving. Once on it, jammed between two old men with baskets of eels and smelling strongly of fish, she pondered what she would do when she got to Grouw. Eernewoude was still some miles further at the end of a secondary road which meandered round the lake. She would have to hire a taxi... One of the old men spoke to her and she dredged up her few words of Dutch-'Ik ben Engels'-and gave him a smile, and he broke into instant speech. Not even Dutch, she thought despairingly, but Friese, which sounded even more unintelligible than Dutch. There was a stirring in the bus, for he had a loud voice, and someone said, 'English-Professor van Taak ter Wijsma's wife, yes?"

  'Yes,' said Sophie, feeling awkward.

  `On a bus?' said the same voice. `You have no car? You are alone?' The owner of the voice sounded quite shocked. `The professor is not allowing that?'

  Of course, in this sparsely populated part of Friesland, he would be known, at least by name. She said clearly, `I was to go home with him, but I have missed him in Leeuwarden. He will fetch me in Grouw."

  `That's not likely,' she murmured to herself, listening to the satisfied chat around her.

  The bus stopped frequently, presumably to suit the wishes of the passengers getting on and off in the dark night. There were few villages, for the bus was travelling along a country lane, away from the main road, but there would be farms. Indeed, when she bent to peer out of a window she could see a light here and there away from the road. It looked lonely country and she wished that she was at home, sitting by the fire, working away at her tapestry. The two old men were still on either side of her, talking across her as though she weren't there, and she allowed her thoughts to wander. Where was Rijk? she wondered. And if she asked him when she got home would he tell her?

  The bus rattled to a halt in Grouw and she got out last of all, her ears ringing with the chorus of 'Dag' from her companions on the journey. Now to find a taxi... She turned round to get her bearings and found Rijk right behind her.

  Surprise took her breath, but only for a moment. She said in a rush, `I went into Leeuwarden with Rauke and I meant to meet you at the hospital, but they said you'd already left, so I caught a bus...'

  He had a hand on her arm. `I left early. I'm sorry you had this long, cold ride.' He was walking her across to the Bentley.

  `I enjoyed it. Everyone talked and I didn't understand any of it. How did you know that I would be on the bus?"

  'Rauke had expected you to be with me. You're a sensible girl; I knew you would get yourself back, and this was the last bus to Grouw. I got back into the car and drove over.'

  `I was going to get a taxi.'

  The car was blissfully warm and Matt's breath was hot on the back of her neck. Seated comfortably, she was waiting for him to tell her why he had left with that girl, but it was evident that he wasn't going to, even though she stayed silent so that he had the chance to do so. Instead he observed casually that the following week there was to be a reception at the hospital in their honour. `And Mother phoned today; they are back and there i s to be a family dinner

  within the next week or so. You will enjoy that, will you not, Sophie? Perhaps life is a little dull for you here.'

  `Dull? Certainly not. The days aren't long enough-not that I do anything useful, but I'm always busy.'

  `I'm glad you are happy here. I hear that cold weather is expected, with snow, which means that we shall be able to skate.'

  `I can't...'

  He stopped the car in front of the house and turned to look at her. `I'll teach you; it's splendid exercise-the children have days off from school and they light up the canals.'

  She forced herself to answer with a show of enthusiasm, hoping against hope that he would explain. He didn't, however. They reached home and he got out and helped her from the car and over the icy steps to the door. He nodded to Rauke as they went inside but made no move to take off his coat.

  `I've a meeting in Leeuwarden this evening; shall you mind dining alone? I shall probably be back late.'

  She minded very much but she wasn't going to say so. `What about your dinner?"

  'Oh, we have sandwiches and coffee and Rauke will leave something for me in the kitchen. Don't wait up, my dear.' He dropped a casual kiss on her cheek. 'I'll see you in the morning.'

  He took Matt with him so that she had no company as she dined and afterwards, sitting by the fire, savagely poking her needle in and out of her tapestry work.

  She went to bed early because he had made it clear that he didn't expect to see her when he got home, and she lay awake until she heard the car whisper to a halt below her window and presently his quiet footsteps in the house.

  `I've made a mess of things,' muttered Sophie, weeping into her pillow.

  In the morning at the breakfast-table she was bright and brisk, making a brief reference to his meeting without waiting for an answer. He asked her then what she was going to do with her day, and she told him that she intended to explore the attics, take Matt for a walk, and be home in time for Loewert, who had phoned to say that he would call.

  `I dare say he'll stay for dinner,' she observed, and Rijk looked surprised.

  `By all means; I should be home in good time this evening.'

  `How nice,' said Sophie sweetly. She met his thoughtful look with a smile. `Do you suppose it will snow today?"

  'Very likely. Don't go near the lake; it's beginning to freeze over, but it won't be safe for several days.' He got up from the table and offered her a handful of envelopes. 'Invitations-will you look through them? And we'll decide what to do about them.'

  `Yes, of course.' She gave him an overbright smile. `Don't do too much.'

  Loewert arrived just before lunch. `I'm playing truant,' he told her happily. `I've exams at the end of the week and I thought a day away from my books might help.'

  `What exams are they?' She led him into the drawing-room and they sat down before the fire with the coffee-tray between them.

  `Ear, nose and throat and gynae.'

  She passed him his cup and watched him spoon sugar with a lavish hand.

  `You think you'll pass?'

  He grinned and she thought with a little leap of her heart that Rijk must have looked like that when he was younger. `I hope I will. With old Rijk as an example, what else can I do? He's the one with the brains, of course, though he'd give me a good thump if he heard me saying that.'

  He looked at Sophie, quite serious for a moment. `He's a splendid fellow, you knowbut of course you do; you're married to him.' He passed his cup for more coffee and took another biscuit. `We were beginning to think that he would never find himself a wife, and then you turned up, an answer to our prayersa beautiful angel and a darling...'

  `You'll turn my head,' said Sophie and laughed gently, `but that's kind; thank you for the compliment.'

  `You get enough of those from Rijk,' said Loewert and grinned again so that she blushed a little, remembering the things he had said to her before they married; nothing romantic, of course, but nice all the same. It was a pity that he hadn't found it necessary to repeat any of them now that they were married. It was as though they had slipped at once into a comfortable state of middle-aged marriage, and that within weeks...

  She listened to Loewert's cheerful talk and wondered what she should do about it. She supposed that if she hadn't fallen in love with Rijk she would have been quite content to let their relationship
dwindle into the state he seemed to want: pleasant companionship, a hostess for his table and complete lack of interest in his life. She loved him, though, which made it an entirely different matter. So something had to be done to remedy the matter, and she would do it...

  `You do look fierce,' said Loewert. `Have you got a headache?"

  'No, no. I was trying to remember if Matt had his breakfast before he went with Rijk. So sorry; I was listening... You were telling me about the blonde nurse in Out-patients. Is she very pretty?'

  The description of this blue-eyed paragon took some time. `But of course I'm not serious,' he told her firmly. `Time enough for all that when I've qualified and got established. I mean, look at old Rijk; plenty of girlfriends, mind you, but he never lost sight of the fact that he intended to be on top of the ladder before he settled down for good.' He sighed. `If I'm half as good as he is when I'm as old, I'll be very satisfied.'