Give Up On Me

by Tressie Lockwood

  “Kiss me, Janae.”

  She squeaked. “What? No.”

  She tried getting away, but he captured her, wrapping his arms around her waist and dragging her to his chest. He had regained much of the muscle he lost while he lay in a coma. She’d seen him shirtless. Except for scarring in places where he’d been hurt in the accident, his body was just as sexy as the last time they lay in bed together. Hell, the scars made him sexier.

  “Let me go, Matt.”

  “If you pull away too hard, you’re going to make me fall. I’m sure you don’t want that.”

  “You’re blackmailing me.”

  His lips touched her neck, and she shivered. Her eyelids fluttered as she struggled not to shut them and give in to his touch.

  “Your nipples are hard.”

  She jerked back. “You can’t feel them.”

  He grinned and looked down. “I couldn’t, but I can see them. Nice.”

  She hugged herself, glaring at him. The bastard was right. Not to mention her damn panties were wet. How the hell was she supposed to do this? She was failing bad, and soon Kyler would give up on the plan. Then she couldn’t see Matt.

  I still want to see him. Just a little longer, please.

  “The doctor has been talking about cutting down how often you need the therapist,” she said. “You only need the cane when you walk a lot or right after the exercise. You don’t need me any more.”

  “I will always need you.”

  Her stupid heart pumped faster. “You think you do, but you don’t. Matt, I’m serious. You can’t risk your life the way you were doing. It’s not fair to the people who love you. It’s not fair to yourself either.”

  “What about you?”

  She groaned and managed to get away from him to pace. “You love me too much. I don’t love you as much as you love me!”

  He was quiet, and she looked over her shoulder at him. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

  “You’re right,” he said. “You don’t, but that’s always been okay with me, because you do love me deeply, Janae. I doubted it after I heard that recording. Maybe you believed you were with me for the money. Maybe that’s the way it was in the beginning. I might be a sappy fool, but I’m not stupid. I can read people extremely well, and I know when a woman loves me.”

  He stood, leaving the cane leaning against the wall. His limp was barely noticeable as he approached her and drew her into his arms.

  “Kiss me, and prove me wrong that what you feel isn’t love.”

  “I-I-I…”

  The baby blues held a challenge in their depths. “Are you afraid?”

  She made a noise of disgust. “Please, I don’t have to prove myself to you. I’m sure you don’t conduct business by kissing all your clients. Or maybe you do.”

  His gaze narrowed. “Don’t play games with me, Janae.”

  “I’m not.”

  His mouth was so close to hers, and he bent her back just a little, forcing her body to align with his. She felt his hard-on pressing into her belly. Yep, that worked great. She gulped.

  “Matt, please.”

  He moved in closer. “Please, what?”

  His hand came up behind her head and drove her forward just as he slanted his mouth over hers. Janae pushed at his chest and an instant later, she curled her fingers into his shirt and parted her lips. He raised her up so her feet left the floor. She broke off the kiss.

  “Stop, Matt. You’ll hurt yourself.”

  He ignored her protests and kissed her again. His cock settled between her legs, straining against his sweat pants. She couldn’t help herself but wrapped both arms around his neck. Darting her tongue out, she tasted his mouth and moaned. Matt’s hand slid to her ass, and he squeezed before easing lower. She knew where he was going and was helpless to stop him.

  A cleared throat broke them apart, and Janae almost landed on the floor. Matt reached to keep her from falling and wrenched something in his leg. He grunted in pain, and she jerked away.

  “Matt, are you okay?” She moved to his side to try to hold him up as he staggered.

  The therapist sauntered over, taking his time. “See what happens when you’re supposed to be exercising instead of seducing beautiful women?”

  “I’ve been cleared for sex,” Matt said, and Janae blushed. Matt ate up her embarrassment and grinned. “I asked.”

  She released his arm and moved away. “Well, I don’t know who you’re going to have sex with because it’s not me. Have a nice day!”

  He called after her, but she hightailed it out of there. She’d had enough temptation, and all she would have needed was for Kyler or Margaret to walk through the door instead of the therapist. For all she knew, the man might be reporting every detail of what she did and what she and Matt talked about to Kyler. She would have to be more careful from now on and put fifty feet between her and Matt, not to mention never being alone with him from now on.

  “Hey, Dad,” Janae said as she strolled into his office.

  Her dad looked up from the pile of papers on his desk. “There are my girls.”

  “Pop-pop, I’m here,” Nerea announced. She scurried over to him and raised her arms to be placed on his lap.

  Janae’s dad laughed and hoisted her up. “I can see that. What have you been doing with yourself?”

  “Playing. Guess what, Pop-pop.”

  “What?”

  Janae sank down in a chair as she watched her dad with her daughter. She didn’t regret one minute of letting him know she was back in Boston. Kyler hadn’t said she shouldn’t. She figured if they blackmailed her into leaving again, she could at least go knowing she had seen her dad again and he’d gotten to know his granddaughter.

  “I’m going to school,” Nerea said with her little chest stuck out.

  “You are? Wow, that must mean you’re a big girl.” Janae’s dad looked up at her.

  “I am a big girl. Look at me, Pop-pop.”

  Both Janae and her dad laughed. Janae explained. “She’s going to a head start program.”

  He frowned. “Isn’t she too young?”

  “She’s three, Dad. It’s not a big deal. Plus she gets bored so easily. I’m going to have her tested. I think we have a smart on our hands.”

  “Takes after her granddad.”

  Janae rolled her eyes when he stuck his chest out. “Everyone around me is full of themselves.”

  Her dad pulled a drawer open and removed coloring books and crayons. He set Nerea up in a spot Janae had arranged for her little girl for when she visited her dad at his office. Janae had learned in the time she was away, her dad had a bad fall and broke his leg in several places. Arthritis had set in after the cast came off, and from then on it was desk work for him. She hadn’t expected Kyler or Margaret to let her know about the accident because her dad had probably dropped off their radar after they got their way by removing her from Boston.

  “Dad, I think I’m coming to the end of helping Matt.”

  Her dad stiffened and looked over at Nerea. “Did you convince him to let you go?”

  Unbidden, the kiss rose in her thoughts, and it was as if she could feel Matt’s arms around her again and his lips on hers. Desire washed over her, and she waited until the sensation eased enough to answer her dad’s question.

  “No, and I doubt I will. Even if he didn’t love me, he’s stubborn as all get out. He won’t let go unless he chooses to, not because I’m pushing him away.”

  “Then don’t push.”

  She eyed her dad. “Have you been listening to me, Dad? If I don’t push him away, he’ll think I love him.”

  “I love you, Mommie,” Nerea piped up.

  “I love you, too, pumpkin.” Janae bit her tongue. She needed to be careful what she said around her daughter.

  “And her?” He nodded toward Nerea, who had gone back to coloring far outside the lines.

  “What about her?” Janae knew what her dad was getting at. They’d had the argument a million
times. The only thing she could find relief in knowing was that he had said he would respect her wishes. He wouldn’t tell Matt about Nerea.

  “There’s nothing to discuss regarding that,” Janae said.

  “Janae, I lied to him about where you were.”

  “You didn’t lie. You didn’t know where I was. No one did. And after all of this is over with the therapy, I won’t see him anymore.”

  “Is that what you want, baby girl? Because just like back then—what is it about three years now?”

  “Four.”

  “Four years ago, you were crying your eyes out when you learned you had to leave. I know those tears weren’t for me.”

  “Dad, I love you, and I missed you.”

  He harrumphed. “A father would love to keep his little girl all to himself, but your heart belongs to someone else. Janae, when do you get to follow your heart?”

  “That’s a good question.”

  He swiveled away from the desk and reached down to rub his knee.

  “Do you want me to massage your leg, Dad? I learned a thing or two watching the physical therapist.”

  “I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt.”

  “Uh-huh. Here you were griping just now about having to lie.”

  He gave her a sheepish look and then cleared his throat. “Anyway, if you’re worried about the Gonzalezes, you don’t need to be. Annie’s doctor told her the cancer is in remission. There’s every reason to believe she’ll live a full and prosperous life. Plus, since I can’t be out in the field anymore, I made George the lead on all projects. The position even came with a tiny raise so he doesn’t have to get a second job.”

  “That’s so great, Dad. I’m glad.”

  What she didn’t tell him was that while he had clients now and a good supply of business, at any time, Margaret could spitefully pull the plug. With her dad almost disabled, she couldn’t do anything to jeopardize his income. Especially since he had also used the extra money from her leaving her position to hire a replacement. She and he could figure out what they could do on less money, but another employee—a new one at that—wouldn’t think twice about abandoning him.

  “You can stay, Janae.”

  “I’m not sure about that.”

  He pounded a fist on the table and winced when Nerea yelped in alarm. “Sorry, pumpkin.”

  Nerea covered both ears, glaring at Janae’s dad. “Pop-pop, ruidoso!”

  He gaped. “What did she call me?”

  Janae burst out laughing. “She didn’t call you anything, Dad. Well, except for Pop-pop. She said you’re noisy.”

  He chuckled. “You’re right, Nerea. How about you teach your old Pop-pop some of that Spanish so he can talk about people without them knowing?”

  “Dad, for real? You’re already starting with the bad influence. I don’t want her thinking she can talk about people in Spanish. Way too many people speak the language in America.”

  “Darn.” He snapped his finger.

  Janae shook her head “Nerea, don’t listen to Pop-pop. He’s just being silly.”

  “Tonto,” Nerea said.

  “What’s that one mean?”

  “It means silly. See what you started?” She stood. “We have to get out of here. It’s been a long day.”

  She crouched to start helping Nerea put her crayons away. Her daughter whined but a look from Janae made her get her act together. The pouty lip stayed put though, and Janae tried to ignore the cute face.

  “Janae.”

  “Yes?” She looked over at her dad.

  “I’m serious about this. You need to tell him. He has a right to know.”

  “If I tell him, he’s just going to get worse.”

  “He’ll respect whatever it is you want.”

  “Why do I feel like I’ve heard that before?”

  “Because it’s the truth.”

  She straightened. “Then maybe the problem is what I want.”

  “You don’t want to be with him?”

  “I want it more than anything.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Matt opened the door to find his brother on his doorstep. He didn’t unblock the entrance. “Why are you here?”

  Kyler shrugged. “Do I have to have a reason to visit my brother?”

  “I tolerated you stopping by occasionally at the hospital and the rehab center. I don’t have to deal with you now that I’m back home.”

  “Matt, don’t be this way.”

  Matt frowned at him. “What you think, because you climbed down from the throne you share with Margaret to search for Janae and bring her to me that I’ll forgive you? You thought you were doing me a favor with that recording? Fuck you, Kyler. We’ve hardly spoken in four years. Let’s keep it that way.”

  He started to shut the door, but Kyler shoved back on it. Matt’s luck was out because he had one of his infrequent leg pains. The ache unbalanced him a little, and Kyler made it inside his house. Not wanting to look like a weak idiot, Matt decided not to threaten his brother with calling the cops on him.

  “What do you want?” Matt asked after he’d shut the door and walked as normally as possible to the living room. Kyler followed.

  “Margaret wants you to visit her. You’re mobile now, right? You’ve been cleared to drive?”

  “Oh, she wants me to come to her? Right, I forgot. The queen.”

  “When did you get so bitter?”

  Matt rubbed his jaw. “Let me think. Oh, now I remember. The day you recorded Janae asking for money.”

  “And you’re blaming us for her greed?”

  “Say it again,” Matt bit out.

  “Chill, little brother. I’m not here to ruffle you. I certainly don’t need you to break my arm again.”

  Matt shrugged. From Kyler’s expression he imagined his brother expected him to apologize. Matt had no intention of saying he was sorry for what he didn’t regret doing. What he did hate was the attitude in himself that Kyler brought out every time he came face-to-face with him. Matt didn’t like spending all his energy angry.

  “I want us to act like a family again,” Kyler said.

  Matt burst out laughing. “That’s funny.”

  “I’m serious. We weren’t close before all this happened, but I’m beginning to look at things differently.”

  “How? By accepting Janae?”

  Kyler swore. “All I see is man that was strong, weakened by a woman. I had to admit it, but you’re worse than you were before she left. You run behind her like she’s a drug and you can’t get enough.”

  “You’re close.”

  “Damn it, man, do you hear yourself?”

  Matt sat down before his stupid leg made him fall. Of all days to deal with the pain, it had to bug him when Kyler showed up at his door. He resisted massaging his thigh. “It’s obvious to me that you will never understand loving another person, let alone a woman.”

  Kyler’s face reddened. “Are you calling me gay?”

  Matt chuckled. “No, I’m saying your heart has never been engaged. Let me lay it out for you. I’m going to do everything in my power, and I do mean everything, to make sure Janae stays with me.”

  “She’s just a woman, damn you. Matt you’re obsessed. I thought if she came back she could—” He stopped.

  “She could what?”

  “Nothing.” Kyler pushed fingers through his hair. “We’ve had it drilled into our heads ever since Granddad died that we’re privileged, that if we don’t stay on top of things, there will be people out there who will try to take what we’ve earned. And we are above most.”

  “And you think you’re above Janae?”

  “She’s proven what she is by taking the money.”

  Matt ignored his leg and stood to walk over to his brother. “Why do you hate her so much?”

  “I don’t hate her.”

  “No?”

  Kyler sighed. “She’s not on our level. I look at it as a simple fact. I don’t hate her for her station in life.”


  “What is this the seventeenth century?” While Kyler’s words angered him, Matt was relieved to feel less like hitting his brother as he had done in the past. “You look at me as what, some kind fool for loving her? Maybe you see me as weak because I chase her. You know how I see in you?”

  Kyler flushed. “I don’t need to hear your opinion of me. You told me four years ago.”

  “You’re the weak one,” Matt said, and his brother’s expression darkened. “You pretend to be superior to Janae and to me, but in reality, you don’t have your own mind. Margaret snaps her fingers, and here you are to do her bidding. If I refuse to see her, was the order to beg?”

  “Don’t be stupid.”

  “If she said jump would you, or how does that expression go? You ask how high? Either way, you move when she tells you to, but you think I’m weak. Despite what you or Margaret or anyone on this planet thinks of me, I love Janae. Period. Even when she denies that she loves me to my face, I love her. Do you get me, Kyler?”

  “Matt, all I’m—”

  “That’s strength. It’s also conviction.” Matt stabbed his brother’s chest with two fingers. “So believe what you want, think whatever. I don’t give a fuck. We’re done here. Get out of my house.”

  Kyler started to speak again than hitched his shoulders. Matt walked back to the front door and opened it. Janae stood there with hand extended as if she intended to ring the bell. Joy filled him, and he swept her into the foyer and into his arms. He claimed her mouth, crushing her shapely body to him. With his tongue practically down her throat, he tasted her sweetness until she wriggled in his arms to get free.

  Matt took his time letting her go, and she shoved at his chest, scowling at him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  He smirked.

  “Janae,” Kyler said just behind him.

  She yelped and looked around his arm. Her eyes widened in fear, and alarm bells went off in Matt’s head. He pivoted slowly, keeping himself between Janae and his brother. “Kyler, why would she be afraid of you?”

  “I’m not,” Janae rushed to say. “I was just surprised we had an audience. I mean not that we were going to…uh…”